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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?      Home login  
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 David Lewis
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 126
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

sireel wrote: The fact is only women know for sure
who their children are. Men must trust.

With DNA testing, that may not necessarily be the case.
 Chris Mack
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 127
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:42:51 PM
STD's is the only thing I can think of against sleeping with so many people.
Captain condom comes to the rescue on that one.
 Jonathan...
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 128
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:48:45 PM
This thread is scary.

Why would someone NOT judge based on the number of past lovers?

While this is never a question I can see myself asking a woman for fear of the answer, I would NEVER want a woman insecure/just dumb enough to fall for the tricks of so-called-players. You can say you have "Needs", but that is bullshit. You have "Wants".

If a girl does not have a moral code that tells her not to give herself away like a free sample at a grocery store, I have no interest whatsoever. Maybe you will find a guy that is willing to forgive your mistakes, but I see the past as what it is. The past is the present. It is what -who you are- is built upon.

Not to mention I buy into that saying that tells you that when you sleep with someone, you are sleeping with every person they've ever slept with.

So yes, I will judge you, because you lack morals and a degree of self-respect that I value.
 thevinnman
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 129
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:51:59 PM

ok guys lets here it. why is it ok for guys to have gotten laid alot in the past by different women, but if we say we had some past lovers you think we are sluts., and not worthy for a relationship?


Me I prefer a woman who has experience. The more, the better. Its consistently been the case that the more experience a woman has in this department, the better the physical connection; Which, while not the most important factor, still matters.
 thevinnman
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 130
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:54:33 PM

So yes, I will judge you, because you lack morals and a degree of self-respect that I value.


I have to disagree. People's success with dating depends largely on luck. As a woman, you have no idea if the man you just met is a player, being dishonest, or is genuine. And things happen during life. People may have to move for a job. Or they fall out of love. Or they never fall in love.

My point is that people's success with dating can vary and as a result, some women may have to date a lot more men than others only as a result of being dealt many bad hands in a row (for whatever reason). Why shouldn't women pursue total fulfillment? I think that being prejudicial only because a woman may have had a few more partners than society considers "morally proper" is quite immature.
 thevinnman
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 131
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:59:04 PM

Isn't the answer to this question obvious? The more sexual partners one has had, the more difficult it is to actually bond and commit.


Fortunately, science has advanced sufficiently to the point that we are way past being able to debunk misconceptions such as this. Sexual behavior is not a one dimensional spectrum or even two dimensional, it is multi dimensional. Every person is different, and erotic tastes and behavior differ in vast proportion.

I don't think that generalizing the behavior of the entire world as you have done in any way presents an accurate picture of human sexual behavior.

Furthermore I must question whether you have cause and effect reversed. Is it the large number of partners that leads to bonding problems, or is it the bonding problem that leads to a large number of partners? Aren't there other factors that could lead to a large number partners? Methinks yes.
 Jonathan...
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 132
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:09:16 PM
I never said I minded a girl that's been on 500 dates. I just think that sex should never be a requirement on a date and should not be given to just any guy you don't even know. I don't see how Sex and Dating are even being referenced here as one in the same.

If you have been tricked once or twice, no big deal, but if you've been,"Tricked" twenty times, the only person tricking you is yourself.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 133
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:32:33 PM

Its consistently been the case that the more experience a woman has in this department, the better the physical connection; Which, while not the most important factor, still matters.


Not always true. I've encountered women who have had a lot of experience but were turned off by it and are now either disinterested or jaded by it all.
And just because she knows how to get a guy off one way or a thousand ways, doesn't mean it will work with every guy.
And some of them perform almost mechanically in bed because it's all they know from their experiences...
A lot of one night stands won't teach a woman much... But a few LTR's can teach them everything...
 AnneCarol
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 134
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:37:39 PM
Hi, I read your profile and wanted to ask you a couple of things but you have a filter on it that won't allow me to contact you because of the distance between us. Would you mind emailing me so I could ask you about some of those things in your profile? Thanks, Anne
 AnneCarol
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 135
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:41:29 PM
I'm a serial dater. I dont sleep with every guy I go out with though. Who does? I was married a long time though and I enjoy dating and meeting new people. I wish we wouldn't judge each other at all. No one knows where you've been and what's happened to you throughout your lifetime that has brought you here to this place and time. Walk a few miles in my shoes and then let me know what you think...LOL-
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 136
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:32:56 PM
Guys probably want to know if you are a slut or not. Simple as that. But, chicks can always lie about the numbers (or try their best to remember but still forget a few as in my case)... IT DOES MATTER THOUGH. Morals, integrity, the value you place on sex/making love, IT ALL FILTERS IN TO THE EQUATION. Personally, I'd like to find a virgin boy I can train. About 14, white skin, blue eyes... Raise him right, train him right, work him to the bone... OK, I'm drunk, I confess. Bored to death, posting on forums... lol

Seriously though. People do change and there's no denying that. I figured out a long time ago that guys want sex, and they are not going to "love" you if you give it to them. I wish I'd never had it. Wouldn't know what I"m missing, lol. I got to go and find another forum... kind of rambling...
 lovesex73
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 137
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:52:17 AM
I always ask how many people they have been with and if it's to many I say goodbye because if you been with to many you don't know what you want in life. Also when you have sex with someone you have sex with all of their past partners which people seem to forget. To many to me is more than 20 me myself I only been with 6 woman. To me you have to many partners your nothing but a whore that is my point of view and if people don't like that to bad. Some girls just like to have different partners just for the sake of saying oh I had this guy and this guy and so on or he was good looking and he had a big****and so on. So what girls your plain stupid when you get a good guy keep him don't go for looks because looks mean nothing at all which girls seem to forget it is what is in the inside what really counts.
 lovesex73
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 138
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:08:08 AM
Most of these girls that sleep with all kinds of guys also don't even know the real father of their children which is sad also this tells something about these girls which means slut. Keep your legs shut at least which is possible or just do oral which is also alot safer also than intercourse itself.
 imablast
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 139
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:28:35 AM
Here's the answer I give the ladies that ask me how many women I have slept with.
"I don't live in the past, next question" Everytime I say that I get good answer!
So it may work for yall also.
 Jonathan...
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 140
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:58:27 PM
annecarol,

Who were you requesting an email from?
 Enigma252
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 141
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:29:06 PM
Well, if one or two of our previous lovers had stuck around and settled down we wouldn't be in the high numbers, right? So whose fault was that? Besides, from what I remember, virgins were no fun at all! I don't think that most women want a revolving door at their bedrooms--especially us older females. Of course, there are exceptions--rock n roll groupies.
 camellia ga
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 142
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:40:47 PM
look guys would if they had the chance it's not my fault that I'm more attractive and charming then they are sorry guys. personally i'm just looking for onr good one but then again variety is the spice of life
 LadyPhoenix1965
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 143
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:25:42 AM
OK, admittedly, I'm reading through this several years after the thread first began. I've read a lot of drivel and a lot of wisdom, but this one absolutely takes the cake:

"A woman who's got a big mouth about something that personal, isn't worthy of a relationship to me. It's the type of woman you'll just want to sleep with, and get rid of. "

Wow... Now that's saying something. You have a man who has no respect for a woman because of what he perceives to be a character flaw, AND YET, he's STILL willing to sleep with her, and then 'get rid' of her... Who is the 'dog' in this scenario? The woman who enjoys sex and openly talks about it? Or the man who abuses the situation and treats her like a piece of trash to throw away?
 leglover
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 144
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:15:35 AM
i don`t even ask about such things or tell about my past lovers. who the hell cares? Some men want a virgin but please keep them away from me. i think many women have that false perception, most guys i know don`t worry about it. it probably comes from the same place as concerns about how many date before having sex, who cares?? if i`m just after sex i`ll leave after the 4th date if that`s what it takes or the 1st if that happens. My problem usually comes from a woman being to conservative sexually instead of being wide open and a lack of intellectual connection. let`s all graduate high school now.
 LovelyRiita
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 145
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:40:34 AM

i don`t even ask about such things or tell about my past lovers. who the hell cares?

I learned a long time ago that most men do care especially if they care about you. The guys that don't care are the ones that aren't serious about you. If you tell them the truth they can either get angry or upset or walk away or deal with it. But you find out who cares and who doesn't.
 LakeCountyGal
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 146
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:51:41 PM
I don't care about his number as long as he doesn't care about mine. I don't tell it upfront, but I will be honest if he asks. If he has a problem with it, then clearly, he is not the right person for me. (and honestly, my number is pretty low compared to most people my age these days)
 urgreeneyes
Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 147
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:55:11 AM
Who wants to buy a car with a lot of mileage? A woman that has been with many men has pshycological issues. Low self esteem, dad didn't love her, sexual abuse, attemting to fill a void, etc. She doesn't care about herself, that's why she gives it away so often. Yet in the end, she never feels better about herself. It goes both ways. Would a woman want to be with a man that has been with a lot of women? After being with a lot of women, do you think he can be faithful to one? If you just want to have crazy sex, don't ask. But if you want to have a long term healthy relationship, it's good to know. It helps put together the pieces of who you are really with.
 snglagain27
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 148
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:07:25 AM
It is dependent on the man and his comfort/confidence level. I personally enjoy an independent, experienced and confident woman and could care less her intimate history. What is most important is her sense of self, sensuality and ability to openly discuss her wants/needs in life and the bedroom. The beauty of intimacy in this age bracket is many years of practice and perfection. Intimacy is heightened when both parties can discuss their hot buttons and experience them together.

The men that have a tough time with a woman's intimate experience either has some inequality issues or some self confidence issues to address, in my humble opinion.
 shadowette
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 149
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:20:49 AM
Just don't ask, things like this are better left unsaid. I recently dated a guy who insisted on knowing a number, I told him and he had a real problem with it. The kicker of the whole ordeal is that he had slept with just about the same amount...how judgemental. Someones number doesn't bother me.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 150
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:31:40 AM

I recently dated a guy who insisted on knowing a number, I told him and he had a real problem with it. The kicker of the whole ordeal is that he had slept with just about the same amount...how judgemental. Someones number doesn't bother me.

So you found out early he was judgemental... no big loss....

And realistically "someones number doesn't bother me" usually only applies if you know the number and it's not above your personal "Yuckkkk" factor... If a guy had slept with 100 woman and he was your age would it bother you? How about 500? or 1500?
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