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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?      Home login  
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 LovelyRiita
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 126
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

If a guy my age had slept with 100+...I'd be like 'wow, how did you manage that'.

I guess I can't argue with that statement. LOL
 luckygreentiger
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 127
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:37:26 AM
because no one likes to feel like they're going to be compared--and worry about what if those comparisons come up short.
 ThatGamerDude121789
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 128
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:11:48 AM
I wouldn't care too much if you were clean and whatnot. But if you give me details....I might feel a little uncomfortable.
 daydreamer57
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 129
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:15:33 AM
I dont judge woman on anything cept the way WE treat each other.....their past isnt really anything im concerned about as long as WE are enjoying.....
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 130
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:23:28 AM
More men = more skanky! Simple!
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 131
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:08:57 AM

The guys that don't care are the ones that aren't serious about you.


So if a guy I'm dating somehow manages to find out that my past was pretty busy (for example) and then gets all angry and starts calling me a whore.. it's because he cares about me? Ridiculous.


A woman that has been with many men has pshycological issues. Low self esteem, dad didn't love her, sexual abuse, attemting to fill a void, etc.


She/He couldn't possibly just LOVE sex, right? Again, I say ridiculous.

I think anyone who asks or tells is a complete tool.

You have one responsibility to anyone you date.. stay disease-free and be able to prove it.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 132
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:27:35 AM

Would a woman want to be with a man that has been with a lot of women?


If I were to find out that a man had 50, or more sex partners, the number would bother me.

Only IF I found out. I don't go around asking men about how many sex partners they've had.

Frankly, it isn't none of my business. Secondly, I wouldn't feel too comfortable with being asked such a question.


I learned a long time ago that most men do care especially if they care about you. The guys that don't care are the ones that aren't serious about you. If you tell them the truth they can either get angry or upset or walk away or deal with it. But you find out who cares and who doesn't.


I call pure nonsense on the sentence in bold. I know for damn sure that I could care about a guy, and not even bring up the question.

Just because people decide not to ask the question, doesn't mean they don't care, or aren't serious.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 133
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:10:30 AM

The guys that don't care are the ones that aren't serious about you. If you tell them the truth they can either get angry or upset or walk away or deal with it. But you find out who cares and who doesn't.



I call pure nonsense on the sentence in bold. I know for damn sure that I could care about a guy, and not even bring up the question.
Just because people decide not to ask the question, doesn't mean they don't care, or aren't serious

How can you call it pure nonsense and apply it to yourself... the statement was from a GUY's point of view... you're a woman.....
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 134
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:22:37 AM
^^^It doesn't matter if I'm a woman. I viewed the statement as swinging both ways.

I don't buy into it that men, or women for that matter don't care, or aren't serious about their partner if they don't ask how many sex partners they've been with.
 belana
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 135
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:37:33 AM
Thank goodness to snglagain sense at last. The main thing is that that if everything is clear on sexual diseases! the answer is easy! the males will not be able to judge if you tell them that it is my past and its none of your Bloody Business and if you dont like the answer just p...off you****ead.

Oh and to that so called Aussie twit on the beginning of this post he is not! Australian
as we do talk English down here... not some Gobbledygook like he comes out with.

Will someone else please adopt this pathetic little ponch! emphasis on the little.

 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 136
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:32:03 AM
Don't even ask, you don't want to know... really! This is like that Chris Rock joke:"Women don't count how many times they had sex, they count how many boyfriends they had. They aren't counting that guy they fvcked at the club, or that night they fvcked Bobby Brown, they did Bobby Brown backstage at the concert, or that guy they met in Aruba, heck that's another country... that don't count! I thought we were talking about "domestic d!ck!!!"

Jesus just asking her (or finding out about) what she did in college should be more than you'd ever want to know!!! Besides what if she's in her late 30's and 40's and had a certain number high or low... I mean what can you expect. You didn't know her for 30-40 yrs... Give the person a break! All you should care about is her health, that directly affects you... the rest is just how she treats other people and you. And that you should already know by then.
 Keiper7
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 137
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:55:21 AM
I am not concerned about a specific number, as long as the women does not give it up for anybody, all the time. If I feel she generally gets to know someone before getting intimate, the number of times is irrelevant.
 Brenoso
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 138
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:34:29 PM
People who ask are curious and our insecure about themselves in fear of being compared (not in a favorable light). I was like that a few years back. I always wanted to know. Now since I've grown and realized what I'm capable of, I'm not insecure in that department so it really doesn't matter. At least in that sense. Now I loved being compared, I usually end up being the favorable of the comparison. I don't ask though. I just let it all flowwwww

~Oso
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 139
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:30:38 PM
it is so ironical that women would sleep with so many guys and dont like being called sluts(It is a part of same package babe). (same goes for guys too but in general women are more offended). They like the enjoyment but not the negative after effects.

Sluts= sleeping with many guys=sluts

Guys are more accepting of their behavior-" Yeah i slept with many girls, i know it was not right, but i did it just for fun.I was kinda slut "

Women do not consider what they did was wrong and try blaming guys -" there's double standard..blah..blah.., i am/was a slut but you can't call me a slut". " I slept with 5 men but dont judge me"

I dont mind if a girl/woman has been in LTR but if she has short term relationships that means her judgement is not good or she is sex kitten. For a 30 year old 2 relationships are ok but more than that puts her the category of slut, same for guys.
" It didn't work" is not an excuse for short term relationship.

The problem is if you start being in more relationships, the value of relationship is lost. Women will say"Oh i was fcuked by 5 guys, so what's wrong if I get fcuked by one more" Same with guys" What's wrong in fcuking one more girl".

My ex used to say "When I dated this guy..." all the time. I never felt special because she had done all the things with the other guys she had dated before.

The more partners you had in the past, the less you have to offer to your new partner.
People judge for what you have done. If you kept rolling like a baseless bowl, why do you expect respect from other people? I dont have respect for a girl who slept with 5 men and says "I love you". I will think " ok... does she really love me and even if she does, it's not new for her".
 Avalon1012
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 140
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:09:25 PM
The little Devil guy on my shoulder made me post this…
Because most guys under 35 can’t count that high
When counting teeth…..Sorry dumb joke
 ItAllWorks
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 141
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:11:25 PM
just don't want to be another whores victim
 ItAllWorks
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 142
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:12:34 PM
"The numbers should not matter"

really? what if you're so stretched out I might as well pull my****out in a warm room?
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 143
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:17:51 PM
It is amazing to me how the double standard exists. My number of partners is no one's business but my own and a secret that I will take to my grave.

The important thing to me is when I am with someone that he be faithful and std free. I can deliver the same for I do not believe in asking for what I cannot give myself.
 hellgremlin
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 144
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:28:22 PM

simple. everyone hates whores...and fat chicks!


Seconded.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 145
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:18:19 PM
t is so ironical that women would sleep with so many guys and dont like being called sluts(It is a part of same package babe).


It's a stupid term. It gets mis-used often. I've been called a slut merely because some guy another female was into liked me and not her. How does HIS taste in women make me a slut?

If the word is going to be used, it ought to be applicable to males who sleep around all willy-nilly also.


For a 30 year old 2 relationships are ok but more than that puts her the category of slut, same for guys.


So 3 LTRs, for example, would make me a slut? That's the stupidest thing I've heard all day. Don't LTRs imply NOT just sleeping around?

No logic to be found.


The more partners you had in the past, the less you have to offer to your new partner.


That's a completely stupid comment as well. The more relationships you've had, the more you've learned.. mostly about yourself. That is VITAL experience... and doesn't even have much to do with the sexual aspect of past relationships.

I don't care who thinks numbers matter.. maybe they DO matter in the sense that the previous relationships helped to shape the person I'm dating, but I don't need to know. I assume that I'm not the first to experience whomever I'm dating. And I don't answer or ask the question. Period.
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 146
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:35:39 PM
1littleflick, exactly what I was going to say! Men love using that old double standard on us, and it isnt just teenagers, its all age men who think sleeping with dozens of women makes then a stud, just who are these guys sleeping with? the same women they turn around and call whores! why dont men have all these horrible names attached to them? oh yeah, that same old double standard!
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 147
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:20:16 PM
These threads are like broken records.


Double standard... *skip* Double standard... *skip* Dub-dub-dub... Double standard. Waaaaaaaaaah!


Most of the guys that have a problem with women who sleep around a lot, are guys who don't. Where's the double standard in that? I know someone's going to say it's because they can't, and that's only true if they are too picky about who they sleep with. Besides, the guys who don't have a problem with promiscuous women are guys who are promiscuous themselves, have been in the past, or are trying to get on the right side of a woman who might be willing to give it up to him.

I don't think that men, who have slept with a high number of women, are any more attractive to a woman looking for a serious relationship, than a woman who's been around is to a man looking for the same.

I'm not saying there aren't any hypocrites out there running around nailing anything in sight, but not willing to be with a woman that's been doing the same. But I'll submit that a lot of the women, who have been around the block a few times more than is socially acceptable by most, are looking for guys that are not "studs/man-sluts" when they decide to settle down, too.
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 148
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:02:09 PM

The more r"elationships you've had, the more you've learned.. mostly about yourself. That is VITAL experience...


wow..then keep fcuking and keep learning but dont look for stable relationship and guys who value devoting themselves for their lady.


I don't think that men, who have slept with a high number of women, are any more attractive to a woman looking for a serious relationship, than a woman who's been around is to a man looking for the same.


I agree with that.

The problem is that people are not ready to accept that sleeping around is not good. Those who know that they are in slut category try to justify their position and still want stable relationship. To them I would say" you can't get everything in life. You enjoyed your early life sleeping around , now accept being lonely or short term relationships". There are people who were busy making their career or those who were faithful to their partners in LTR, only they deserve stable life.

People who didn't sleep around are those who have better control over themselves, are better decision makers and have conscience alive. That's what makes such people human and different than animals.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 149
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:18:28 PM

If the word is going to be used, it ought to be applicable to males who sleep around all willy-nilly also.

Well, in fact I've heard "slut" used as a comment about guys many times too...
Also...
"man-whore"
"horn-dog"
"man-slut"
"stud" - which I've heard used as a derogotory term a few times....
"player"
"pig"

So, guys do get it too...

Basically, male or female, if you sleep with too many people...a lot less people will want you... if you don't like the way things work then don't put yourself in that position....
And one other thing puzzles me....
Who decided it was BAD to judge people on the number of past lovers...????
Not necessarily to judge them as bad or a "slut" or whatever... but how about as...
1... Not very discerning...
2... Afraid of commitment...
3... A player...
4... Naive...
5... Easy.... Hmmm there's one... the only people who get labelled easy seem to be the ones who take the least effort to get into the sack.... odd coincidence isn't it...?
6... How about judging them as "Just not for me...."?
7... We might even wonder if they're bad in bed... I mean, obviously no one else wanted to keep screwing them or they'd be happily in a relationship... wouldn't they?
8... I've always had a problem with, the "Out of all those people he/she had sex with they chose you to stay with".... No... you're just the next one on the list and when you're gone, the next person becomes "It"... And aside from that, if they chose all those other people first and they were crap, it's not much a of a great group to be in now is it?

It's not that anyone judges you more or less than they did years ago... it's just that it's not politically correct to say what you think... People may think you're a "slut" but won't say it to your face... no more than anyone would tell an obese person they're "fat"... or an ugly person that he or she is "ugly"... People just keep it to themselves, pretend to be polite and voice meaningless plattitudes to you to make you think that you got dumped "because he's not that into you" rather than "you fcuked too many guys before me and you're not a keeper..."
Oh well.... live with it....
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 150
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:44:28 PM
people will judge you for what you have done. Accept it and teach your children some morals. Because of your behavior you are setting example to your children who will not be able to differentiate if slut is a good or bad thing until they reach your stage. Fidelity is something children learn from their parents. Otherwise live like animals, die like animals.
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