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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?      Home login  
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 LovelyRiita
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 151
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
A lot of people have sex for all the wrong reasons. Then afterwards they try to invent reasons why it was ok for them to do so. People don't want to admit they just simply shouldn't have. I know I have had sex with guys and realised it was a mistake. Not that it wasn't good sex or anything like that. Just that it was a mistake. When I've looked back at it later on I've realized I was not looking at it objectively at the time. And then you look at the next guy you sleep with and you're realising that you might like him and all but he's not as good as the last guy or the guy before that. After having slept with a number of guys I found that they're just not unique anymore. It's lost it's magic.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 152
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:48:53 PM

If the word is going to be used, it ought to be applicable to males who sleep around all willy-nilly also.

Well, in fact I've heard "slut" used as a comment about guys many times too...
Also...
"man-whore"
"horn-dog"
"man-slut"
"stud" - which I've heard used as a derogotory term a few times....
"player"
"pig"

So, guys do get it too...


With regards to this forum, sure. Lots of women are on board with the idea that guys who get around a lot are also sluts, but offline.. I almost never hear such a thing.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 153
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:00:59 PM
I absolutely never ask a guy how many lays he has had in his past. By working with men doing security for almost seven years, I learned way too much information! LOL

I am content when a guy is good with his body to thank the lady or ladies who have taught him well. If a guy ask me, I always laugh and say "Ask no questions, and I will tell you no lies."
 sireel
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 154
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:17:20 PM
u can't handle hearing the truth, forget about it.
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 155
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:18:38 PM

After having slept with a number of guys I found that they're just not unique anymore. It's lost it's magic.


that's how women make their life horrible. atleast one strong woman to confess the reality .
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 156
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:19:22 PM
Get to know how a person is before you sleep with them.... then you'll know if they are slut material.... geesh... the guys who are so worried about it and has a check list of questions are too insecure for me to date... the trouble is guys want the virginal woman who has only had 5 men in 40 years yet wants her to sleep with him on a first date... it sure doesn't work both ways....
 Mystic-One420
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 157
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:26:00 PM
Yo hun...Truth is, its a sad double standard you can thank early "christians" for, and it continues to this day...But the reason most men freak out about it is simple...Insecurity...Most men think any woman whos had more than handful of lovers will cheat on them....Some are just intimidated because they feel threatened knowing that they probably wont be the best you ever had...Male egos are ridiculous in that sense...Luckily..Not all of us are like that...Especially those of us who have had our share of lovers as well...So, when you find a strong, secure MAN...Instead of these scared lil boys you been meeting...You'll understand what I mean....And you will find him hun...Just dont let these ***holes get to you...Being sexually experienced is NOT the same as being a slut...A slut sleeps with anyone, anywhere, for free...Youre obviously not a slut...So **** what they think!
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 158
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:28:41 PM

the trouble is guys want the virginal woman who has only had 5 men in 40 years yet wants her to sleep with him on a first date... it sure doesn't work both ways....

Actually the trouble is, she sleeps with the guys who want to fcuk her on the first date... then she can't understand why the other guys who don't sleep with a woman on the first date, don't want her because of it....
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 159
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:30:44 PM

guys want the virginal woman who has only had 5 men in 40 years yet wants her to sleep with him on a first date...


5 men are not enough, are you in some competition to break records:)
men are made that way, they think sex all the time(because of the brain structure) , but why are you comparing yourself with men. you dont have to sleep with him on first date. women are using "double standard" as an excuse to cover their "slut" tag.
 DeagleNINja2
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 160
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:48:39 PM
It's not about judging as much as it's about simple math.

If a woman has had let's say over 50 lovers and she's in her mid 30's then she probably has had maybe one relationship last longer than 6 months. While I certainly don't look to hop into a relationship with everyone I sleep with, it's nice to know the possibility at least exists.
 Fish.2.See
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 161
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:08:53 PM
I am not really interested in how many men a gf has slept with. The past is the past, why dwell?
-Mike
 SLandis09
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 162
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:28:47 AM
It's a Male ego trip. Macho Man attitude. See, if a guy gets laid by a slut, he doesn't get a notch on his belt because all men can get her. I hate Macho Men. I guess I'm a male slut because I've had a lot of lovers and men were upset with that. It's because I was onstage and walked out with the very woman they had been hitting on forever. Hell, she's never met me before. If you got it, use it and don't brag about it. I don't need to feed my ego. Being onstage did that for me. I simply love the female body and feel blessed she has given me the privilege to have sex with her. Grow up, little boys.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 163
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:03:53 AM
For the same reason women judge men by their number of past lovers.

I personally believe that neither party in a relationship should share the 'number' of partners they have had.

Why? What good comes of it??? It only serves as fodder and fuel for hard feelings and/or an arguement.

Do NOT go there.

You might think that you are sharing this information for the reasons of being open or honest. That is BS. You are doing it to stroke your own ego and seeking to impress.

If that is what you think others 'value' in a relationship - your relationship is destined to fail.
 LovelyRiita
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 164
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:16:31 PM

I simply love the female body and feel blessed she has given me the privilege to have sex with her. Grow up, little boys.

Why is it a privilege if she does that with all the other little boys. You seem to have very low expectations.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 165
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 10:34:34 AM
As long as she's straight with me that she's been around, but took care of herself I'm cool with that. Taking care of herself I mean, practicing safe sex, atleast most of the time. I don't care if she's slept with the neighborhood, however I would prefer she had not. And if she had, she better keep it to herself (lol)!
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 166
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 11:20:54 AM
Some men would prefer a woman who has had a lot of partners... they think it will mean she is going to have sex with them more readily... Gives them a better chance of getting some too...
Many other men think the more men she has slept with... the better she will be in bed...


Sometimes her past experiences could have turned her off to the whole sex thing... or she simply just doesn't see it as a big deal anymore...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 167
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 11:46:46 AM
There is no difference. So long as you are clean now and loyal to the person you're dating it doesn't matter. A man OR woman who's slept with 20 people in the past two years is within their rights to do so.

P.S. Women don't "give themselves away" and men don't "take what women give" - in fact, in most cases both make a decision to have sex and go ahead with it - someone may be confused as to what it means, but unless there was forced entry, it's not a trick. A woman who has had a lot of partners doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being taken advantage of. Unless as a man who's had 20 you can say you've been hoodwinked, that is...

I'm sure all men here who do think a lot of partners is a bad thing are virgins or have only had one or two partners - anything else is hypocrisy.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 168
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 3:00:27 PM

I'm sure all men here who do think a lot of partners is a bad thing are virgins or have only had one or two partners - anything else is hypocrisy.

I disagree....
We would not think of a former alcoholic as a hypocrite if he/she no longer wanted to be around drinkers...
Likewise a former drug user may not wish to have anything to do with drug users....
So equally, a person who has had a lot of past partners, may also come to see it differently and not wish to be around other people who have done so....
A formerly promiscuous person my turn 180 degrees and no longer see sex as a casual thing and then look for someone who also sees it the same way they NOW do...


People's tastes and views can change over time...
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 169
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 3:19:40 PM

why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?

I don't believe "most" men think this way. There are those who do and why they do so??? I dunno. Maybe insecurity, maybe a moral or ethical thing, maybe because they are disease-posse-minded and think they are exempt because they've had less partners and anyone with more partners is a health risk. Maybe a LOT of reasons. Makes no difference to me as I wouldn't meet/date someone that asks the number. Nor would I ask. At my age, this is about as important as "Where did you go to Junior High?" in the list of questions that matter to me. I'm interested in current (and I mean current right NOW) test results ~ anything above and beyond that? His past is his, mine is mine. JMO
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 170
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 6:29:37 PM
So equally, a person who has had a lot of past partners, may also come to see it differently and not wish to be around other people who have done so....
A formerly promiscuous person my turn 180 degrees and no longer see sex as a casual thing and then look for someone who also sees it the same way they NOW do...

Dress that up all you want. It's still hypocritical for someone who's had many sexual partners to have the nerve to disqualify someone else for the same thing, provided both are sexually safe and loyal to one another in the present time.

It's also hypocritical for a reformed drug addict or alcoholic to disqualify someone else because they also USED to drink, do drugs, etc. Obviously if they still are and don't plan on quitting it's a different story. That's not what we're talking about here.

Personally I think that it's territorial BS to have a problem with someone else who's had as many sexual partners as you had and try to call it "different". If they were safe about it and it doesn't affect you now, you're just pissing on trees and you know it.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 171
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/30/2010 7:09:28 AM
i agree with the above post, its territorial bs, or just insecurity if a man holds how many lovers she had, yes she is a better lover , shes had lots of practice, every one of my long term relationships had many more lovers than i did, they where great women who knew there bodies,sire they where promiscious but they where loyal to me, i know one woman , she has had a huge number of men, she settle down and is loyal to her husband and happy
 kimotosj
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 172
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/3/2015 8:42:06 AM
So if a woman suffered sexual abuse in her PAST, and had to recover from that psychological issue "being victimized", she isn't worthy of a healthy relationship? That's so ridiculous. There are words for guys like you.....
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 173
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/3/2015 9:40:07 AM
I wouldn't even ask a woman how many sex partners she had. Chances are I wouldn't get a honest answer.To answer the topic question, I wouldn't judge a woman by this.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 174
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/3/2015 12:09:16 PM

So if a woman suffered sexual abuse in her PAST, and had to recover from that psychological issue "being victimized", she isn't worthy of a healthy relationship? That's so ridiculous.

If a woman suffered abuse (sexual or not) in her PAST, and Still IS Recovering from that psychological issue to some extent -- she is not worthy to demand that another guy just accept that and get into a relationship with her, no.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 175
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2015 7:30:55 AM
If a woman has slept with the neighborhood, fine! The thing is I don't want to hear about it. Rumors can just be rumors. It's just one of those things that's best kept private. Think of it like you find out something about a best friend or admired and loved relative that could well be a deal breaker. Then your wallowing afterwards thinking that if you hadn't found out whatever you found out your relationship would still be a good one. But now you found out per say your brother shot and killed many people while serving for his country when you somehow may have thought he never had harmed anyone else. Once the secret is out it changes things for good. And I've heard first hand of that scenario I used as an analogy going down. I don't know if it's a good comparison or not, but I used it anyway.
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