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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?      Home login  
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 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 176
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?Page 8 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
It is amazing to me how the double standard exists. My number of partners is no one's business but my own and a secret that I will take to my grave.

The important thing to me is when I am with someone that he be faithful and std free. I can deliver the same for I do not believe in asking for what I cannot give myself.
 hellgremlin
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 177
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:28:22 PM

simple. everyone hates whores...and fat chicks!


Seconded.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 178
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:18:19 PM
t is so ironical that women would sleep with so many guys and dont like being called sluts(It is a part of same package babe).


It's a stupid term. It gets mis-used often. I've been called a slut merely because some guy another female was into liked me and not her. How does HIS taste in women make me a slut?

If the word is going to be used, it ought to be applicable to males who sleep around all willy-nilly also.


For a 30 year old 2 relationships are ok but more than that puts her the category of slut, same for guys.


So 3 LTRs, for example, would make me a slut? That's the stupidest thing I've heard all day. Don't LTRs imply NOT just sleeping around?

No logic to be found.


The more partners you had in the past, the less you have to offer to your new partner.


That's a completely stupid comment as well. The more relationships you've had, the more you've learned.. mostly about yourself. That is VITAL experience... and doesn't even have much to do with the sexual aspect of past relationships.

I don't care who thinks numbers matter.. maybe they DO matter in the sense that the previous relationships helped to shape the person I'm dating, but I don't need to know. I assume that I'm not the first to experience whomever I'm dating. And I don't answer or ask the question. Period.
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 179
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:35:39 PM
1littleflick, exactly what I was going to say! Men love using that old double standard on us, and it isnt just teenagers, its all age men who think sleeping with dozens of women makes then a stud, just who are these guys sleeping with? the same women they turn around and call whores! why dont men have all these horrible names attached to them? oh yeah, that same old double standard!
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 180
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:20:16 PM
These threads are like broken records.


Double standard... *skip* Double standard... *skip* Dub-dub-dub... Double standard. Waaaaaaaaaah!


Most of the guys that have a problem with women who sleep around a lot, are guys who don't. Where's the double standard in that? I know someone's going to say it's because they can't, and that's only true if they are too picky about who they sleep with. Besides, the guys who don't have a problem with promiscuous women are guys who are promiscuous themselves, have been in the past, or are trying to get on the right side of a woman who might be willing to give it up to him.

I don't think that men, who have slept with a high number of women, are any more attractive to a woman looking for a serious relationship, than a woman who's been around is to a man looking for the same.

I'm not saying there aren't any hypocrites out there running around nailing anything in sight, but not willing to be with a woman that's been doing the same. But I'll submit that a lot of the women, who have been around the block a few times more than is socially acceptable by most, are looking for guys that are not "studs/man-sluts" when they decide to settle down, too.
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 181
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:02:09 PM

The more r"elationships you've had, the more you've learned.. mostly about yourself. That is VITAL experience...


wow..then keep fcuking and keep learning but dont look for stable relationship and guys who value devoting themselves for their lady.


I don't think that men, who have slept with a high number of women, are any more attractive to a woman looking for a serious relationship, than a woman who's been around is to a man looking for the same.


I agree with that.

The problem is that people are not ready to accept that sleeping around is not good. Those who know that they are in slut category try to justify their position and still want stable relationship. To them I would say" you can't get everything in life. You enjoyed your early life sleeping around , now accept being lonely or short term relationships". There are people who were busy making their career or those who were faithful to their partners in LTR, only they deserve stable life.

People who didn't sleep around are those who have better control over themselves, are better decision makers and have conscience alive. That's what makes such people human and different than animals.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 182
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:18:28 PM

If the word is going to be used, it ought to be applicable to males who sleep around all willy-nilly also.

Well, in fact I've heard "slut" used as a comment about guys many times too...
Also...
"man-whore"
"horn-dog"
"man-slut"
"stud" - which I've heard used as a derogotory term a few times....
"player"
"pig"

So, guys do get it too...

Basically, male or female, if you sleep with too many people...a lot less people will want you... if you don't like the way things work then don't put yourself in that position....
And one other thing puzzles me....
Who decided it was BAD to judge people on the number of past lovers...????
Not necessarily to judge them as bad or a "slut" or whatever... but how about as...
1... Not very discerning...
2... Afraid of commitment...
3... A player...
4... Naive...
5... Easy.... Hmmm there's one... the only people who get labelled easy seem to be the ones who take the least effort to get into the sack.... odd coincidence isn't it...?
6... How about judging them as "Just not for me...."?
7... We might even wonder if they're bad in bed... I mean, obviously no one else wanted to keep screwing them or they'd be happily in a relationship... wouldn't they?
8... I've always had a problem with, the "Out of all those people he/she had sex with they chose you to stay with".... No... you're just the next one on the list and when you're gone, the next person becomes "It"... And aside from that, if they chose all those other people first and they were crap, it's not much a of a great group to be in now is it?

It's not that anyone judges you more or less than they did years ago... it's just that it's not politically correct to say what you think... People may think you're a "slut" but won't say it to your face... no more than anyone would tell an obese person they're "fat"... or an ugly person that he or she is "ugly"... People just keep it to themselves, pretend to be polite and voice meaningless plattitudes to you to make you think that you got dumped "because he's not that into you" rather than "you fcuked too many guys before me and you're not a keeper..."
Oh well.... live with it....
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 183
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:44:28 PM
people will judge you for what you have done. Accept it and teach your children some morals. Because of your behavior you are setting example to your children who will not be able to differentiate if slut is a good or bad thing until they reach your stage. Fidelity is something children learn from their parents. Otherwise live like animals, die like animals.
 LovelyRiita
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 184
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:48:23 PM
A lot of people have sex for all the wrong reasons. Then afterwards they try to invent reasons why it was ok for them to do so. People don't want to admit they just simply shouldn't have. I know I have had sex with guys and realised it was a mistake. Not that it wasn't good sex or anything like that. Just that it was a mistake. When I've looked back at it later on I've realized I was not looking at it objectively at the time. And then you look at the next guy you sleep with and you're realising that you might like him and all but he's not as good as the last guy or the guy before that. After having slept with a number of guys I found that they're just not unique anymore. It's lost it's magic.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 185
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:48:53 PM

If the word is going to be used, it ought to be applicable to males who sleep around all willy-nilly also.

Well, in fact I've heard "slut" used as a comment about guys many times too...
Also...
"man-whore"
"horn-dog"
"man-slut"
"stud" - which I've heard used as a derogotory term a few times....
"player"
"pig"

So, guys do get it too...


With regards to this forum, sure. Lots of women are on board with the idea that guys who get around a lot are also sluts, but offline.. I almost never hear such a thing.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 186
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:00:59 PM
I absolutely never ask a guy how many lays he has had in his past. By working with men doing security for almost seven years, I learned way too much information! LOL

I am content when a guy is good with his body to thank the lady or ladies who have taught him well. If a guy ask me, I always laugh and say "Ask no questions, and I will tell you no lies."
 sireel
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 187
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:17:20 PM
u can't handle hearing the truth, forget about it.
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 188
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:18:38 PM

After having slept with a number of guys I found that they're just not unique anymore. It's lost it's magic.


that's how women make their life horrible. atleast one strong woman to confess the reality .
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 189
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:19:22 PM
Get to know how a person is before you sleep with them.... then you'll know if they are slut material.... geesh... the guys who are so worried about it and has a check list of questions are too insecure for me to date... the trouble is guys want the virginal woman who has only had 5 men in 40 years yet wants her to sleep with him on a first date... it sure doesn't work both ways....
 Mystic-One420
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 190
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:26:00 PM
Yo hun...Truth is, its a sad double standard you can thank early "christians" for, and it continues to this day...But the reason most men freak out about it is simple...Insecurity...Most men think any woman whos had more than handful of lovers will cheat on them....Some are just intimidated because they feel threatened knowing that they probably wont be the best you ever had...Male egos are ridiculous in that sense...Luckily..Not all of us are like that...Especially those of us who have had our share of lovers as well...So, when you find a strong, secure MAN...Instead of these scared lil boys you been meeting...You'll understand what I mean....And you will find him hun...Just dont let these ***holes get to you...Being sexually experienced is NOT the same as being a slut...A slut sleeps with anyone, anywhere, for free...Youre obviously not a slut...So **** what they think!
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 191
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:28:41 PM

the trouble is guys want the virginal woman who has only had 5 men in 40 years yet wants her to sleep with him on a first date... it sure doesn't work both ways....

Actually the trouble is, she sleeps with the guys who want to fcuk her on the first date... then she can't understand why the other guys who don't sleep with a woman on the first date, don't want her because of it....
 Going with the wind
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 192
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:30:44 PM

guys want the virginal woman who has only had 5 men in 40 years yet wants her to sleep with him on a first date...


5 men are not enough, are you in some competition to break records:)
men are made that way, they think sex all the time(because of the brain structure) , but why are you comparing yourself with men. you dont have to sleep with him on first date. women are using "double standard" as an excuse to cover their "slut" tag.
 DeagleNINja2
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 193
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:48:39 PM
It's not about judging as much as it's about simple math.

If a woman has had let's say over 50 lovers and she's in her mid 30's then she probably has had maybe one relationship last longer than 6 months. While I certainly don't look to hop into a relationship with everyone I sleep with, it's nice to know the possibility at least exists.
 Fish.2.See
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 194
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:08:53 PM
I am not really interested in how many men a gf has slept with. The past is the past, why dwell?
-Mike
 SLandis09
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 195
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:28:47 AM
It's a Male ego trip. Macho Man attitude. See, if a guy gets laid by a slut, he doesn't get a notch on his belt because all men can get her. I hate Macho Men. I guess I'm a male slut because I've had a lot of lovers and men were upset with that. It's because I was onstage and walked out with the very woman they had been hitting on forever. Hell, she's never met me before. If you got it, use it and don't brag about it. I don't need to feed my ego. Being onstage did that for me. I simply love the female body and feel blessed she has given me the privilege to have sex with her. Grow up, little boys.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 196
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:03:53 AM
For the same reason women judge men by their number of past lovers.

I personally believe that neither party in a relationship should share the 'number' of partners they have had.

Why? What good comes of it??? It only serves as fodder and fuel for hard feelings and/or an arguement.

Do NOT go there.

You might think that you are sharing this information for the reasons of being open or honest. That is BS. You are doing it to stroke your own ego and seeking to impress.

If that is what you think others 'value' in a relationship - your relationship is destined to fail.
 pub_genius
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 197
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:35:50 AM
I don't judge on this issue...

If anything, I prefer a woman who's had several partners. That makes her a more natural (and honest) woman to me!
 LovelyRiita
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 198
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:16:31 PM

I simply love the female body and feel blessed she has given me the privilege to have sex with her. Grow up, little boys.

Why is it a privilege if she does that with all the other little boys. You seem to have very low expectations.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 199
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 10:34:34 AM
As long as she's straight with me that she's been around, but took care of herself I'm cool with that. Taking care of herself I mean, practicing safe sex, atleast most of the time. I don't care if she's slept with the neighborhood, however I would prefer she had not. And if she had, she better keep it to herself (lol)!
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 200
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2010 11:20:54 AM
Some men would prefer a woman who has had a lot of partners... they think it will mean she is going to have sex with them more readily... Gives them a better chance of getting some too...
Many other men think the more men she has slept with... the better she will be in bed...


Sometimes her past experiences could have turned her off to the whole sex thing... or she simply just doesn't see it as a big deal anymore...
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