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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????      Home login  
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 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 35
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Hey, I only have speed dial
 anenigma
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 36
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An observation only ....
Posted: 2/13/2006 6:59:46 AM
nitebyte...Yes, i do agree with you, I suppose I really don't believe in the rules, but I do think unfortunately society has imposed them upon us anyhow. And to win in the game (it is fishin' right we probably have to follow at least some sort of blueprint. It's like when you're looking for a parking spot and you find one, well you put your turn signal on so no one else will grab it, and if they're not a jerk...they let you have it cause that's the unspoke rule of parking lot etiquette!! (that's a courtesy rule, bad analogy I guess..lol)
Some guys might find it uneasy to approach me, I'm not sure, but if they do, it's more on them and not me, because I do consider myself very open and friendly (And...I'm a nurse so I'm pretty much a people person
I do think that you're right, yes while we do call, often it's then left to the guy to carry the ball...and yes, we do have to deal with all the mental baggage left behind from the jerks we've come across...That's what makes it all so confusing!! Thank you for the compliments, by the way...I have to go dig my car out of the SNOW
 anenigma
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 37
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An observation only ....
Posted: 2/13/2006 7:15:11 AM

The sad part about all that is that on these sites we know ALOT more about
each other than high school kids do - we have all kinds of stats and written
info we can easily see before making contact somewhat anonymously - and
STILL people look and don't reach out - how silly is that ?


If you think that being on these sites tells you more about someone than we know in high
school, you're kidding yourself. PEOPLE LIE on these sites. I happen to know a guy, a friend
who posted on here stating he's looking for a woman to COMPLETE HIM...lol..ya know what he's looking for??? Multiple pieces of A** Some people on these sites have the mentality of a high school kid and we need to weed them out!


And what about this casual sprinkling about of this word that everyone uses,
but often as a catch-all only....remember when it was cool for kids to just
say 'like' and 'man' all the time ?
The psychobabble of our time is full of the word 'judgmental' !!![/qoute]

Wrong post. Sounds to me like you're upset someone labeled you as judgmental where it was inappropriate. Not liking smokers is a preference. This post isn't about acting like a teenager. For crying out loud, at least half the men on here still haven't grown up and act 18!! For those of us who don't act like a prepubescent teenager, it's very frustrating!! Nuff said!!
 Silent_Thoughts
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 38
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Anenigma....
Posted: 2/13/2006 9:14:17 PM
That smoking is deadly and makes it hard to breathe is not a preference !
I expressed it as factual, and that is what I meant.

I wasn't saying whether I -like- smokers, and I clearly stated that I have
one of my dearest and oldest friends who is a smoker - silly.

The teenager reference has several sources, I will try to be more clear,
starting with what you said: "For crying out loud, at least half the men on here still haven't grown up and act 18!! For those of us who don't act like a prepubescent teenager, it's very frustrating!!"
I agree completely in all ways with your statement.

As far as what I was referring to - one of my favorite authors refers to mating
rituals of all species as 'the barnyard dance' - and I have come to regard most
of the actions of homo sapiens specifically in such matters as the 'teenage
mating ritual' - meaning, most people learned whatever mating skills they have
as teenagers, and that is the usual stopping point in their development as well.

Have you noticed a great many people of both genders that simply act as though
they have the maturity of a 13 year old ? (I have noticed this, ALOT !)
This is because when they hit puberty, nobody knew what to do with them, and
lacking for guidance, they finished 'raising' themselves - and since at that age
they most needed to be autonomous, they attained that, and went little further.

Most of the 55 year old men I know that manage busineses have the outward
presentation of a 13-14 year old boy, and the same tastes in many things too !

More to the point of this thread:

That whole thing about who-calls-who comes from what we were taught is
'acceptable' in our school years, and most often by our folks and others that
grew up in a different time with less of certain things, and NO INTERNET or
cellular phones to call or to text message with....
Those values simply NO LONGER MAKE SENSE !!!

That's what I meant, sorry if I was unclear.

Mind reading and guesswork make this whole process much more difficult
than it needs to be - maybe that is thrilling when someone is 18 and trying
out the dating scene as an adult for the 1st time - but once we've been
around some, it is best to just say what we mean, and if we want to speak
with someone - for crying out loud - whether we are male of female - pick
up the phone and call them !!!!!!!

Nothing is more flattering than to get a call soon after a first date from a
woman, wanting just to chat, or wondering when can we see each other !

Be Well, and Happy !

mark*
 danishpastry
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 39
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/13/2006 10:41:05 PM
I hope you would call as soon as it is convenient. Why wait? Find out if there is a connection and either get together or move on. I don't understand all the hesitation and games that are played online.
 AnthonyJ
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 40
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/13/2006 11:10:30 PM
Yeah, why does there have to be some rule about when to call? All these rules just make things complicated. Just play it by ear and call when you really want to call....
 isaacKitty
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 41
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 7:13:59 AM
I don't like when the guy gives me his number.
I feel like he's judging me as desperate if I call.
I hate feeling like I'm begging for a date So I may not call.That's just me !
Some women are more bold and perhaps those guys find that sort of confidence sexy but I have never had success that way.
 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 42
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 9:17:05 AM
I also NEVER call a guy, whether he gives me his number or not. I was raised that this is very forward and not ladylike. I also don`t give out my number. So it makes it very difficult to communicate or get to know a man with those rules. About the only hope there would be to get to know me is to meet again someplace or agreed to meet somewhere, or possibly an e-mail. But I never call a man, unless I have been in a relationship with him for quite a time and he has askedme to call him. Even when in a relationship, I would really hesitate to call or text or e-mail or anything. I usually think " If they want to see me, they will call. If they don`t, I will leave them alone, and assume that they are busy." Usually guys don`t like women calling and bothering them. They like to call all of the shots.

If I was to call a man, I would feel that I am giving him the vibe that I want to get with him, and am rushing things, and he would think that I was easy.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 43
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 12:46:39 PM
Call him whenever you are available. There shouldn't be any "rules" about who should call first or when someone should call.
 turbulence1981
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 44
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 1:30:51 PM
Sorry, but you shouldn't call the guy back. Why didn't he ask for your number instead?
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 45
Nitebynite....
Posted: 5/12/2009 4:35:25 PM
If you like her the sooner the better, why wait to be happy. Follow your instincts and you like each other why wait a day a week or a month. Do it right away and find out sooner rather than later wether it was meant to be or you just wasted a month of your life ?
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 46
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:51:10 PM
i dont do the 3 day rule, if i happen to like the guy ill give him a ring instead of waiting around.
 Fish.2.See
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 47
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Nitebynite....
Posted: 6/11/2009 10:03:56 PM
I would say two days, but that is my opinion. If you called the same day some red flags might pop up in my mind that you are desperate or clingy even if you are not. Nobody likes a stage 5 clinger male or female.
-Mike
 psychoholoic
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 48
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:27:47 AM
If we like you, call in a hour or so, we're not women, we're not complicated and have some goofy set of rules were really dumb things will set us off like calling too fast/
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 49
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HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:44:56 PM
Psychoholoic said:

If we like you, call in a hour or so, we're not women, we're not complicated and have some goofy set of rules were really dumb things will set us off like calling too fast/


and 12 hours before MichaelRAllen said:

I would say two days, but that is my opinion. If you called the same day some red flags might pop up in my mind that you are desperate or clingy even if you are not. Nobody likes a stage 5 clinger male or female.
-Mike


Now maybe, just maybe you guys can understand why a woman may be confused about when to call?

OT: I almost never call. My boyfriend complains about this now, and just recently explained to me how much it bothered him that I don't call him. Apparently he likes it when I call, makes him feel wanted, and appreciated, and missed. Huh. That's how I feel when he calls me. Go figure.

Yup, feeling pretty stupid about the "never call a guy rule" after he explained that little tidbit.

If you like someone, call. Not obsessively, but call to say "hi, I was thinking about you and it made me smile". That kinda thing makes my whole day.
 stephanie888
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 50
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:08:04 AM
"HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?"

Forever. He should've asked for your number and call you. I've had guys give me their number and ask me to call them, and even if I had been previously interested, I just toss the number. If he was really interested in me he would've asked for my number. Plus it seems not very manly and kind of feminine on his part.
 ewacat38
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 51
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/13/2009 3:07:40 AM
When it's the other way around I wait until the next day. I think 3 days is a bit much but immediately (within a couple hours) is a bit too eager for most women. So I would expect the same.
 isaacKitty
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 52
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:36:20 AM

"HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?"

Forever. He should've asked for your number and call you. I've had guys give me their number and ask me to call them, and even if I had been previously interested, I just toss the number. If he was really interested in me he would've asked for my number. Plus it seems not very manly and kind of feminine on his part.


I totally agree.
I have not met one couple where the woman did the pursuing and have had it work out in the long term.
I have been in the situation before.

You're talking to a guy for a while the conversation is going good you think he's gonna ask you out. He says he's gotta get back to his table/friends whatever you know it's coming he grabs a pen from his pocket/table open's his mouth and says "here's my number". Your heart sinks to the floor and you also can't help but feel a little puturbed (as him giving you his number is just a hidden form of rejection).

I usually toss the number as looking at it stings my eyes !

If this has actaully worked for anyone and your relationship is strong please prove me wrong !
 Faithful Sailor
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 53
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HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:46:25 AM
Hey Annenigma,


There is obviously a lot of different opinions and "rules" ettiquettes, expectations and what not.
However we adults can make things more complicated then is necessary. Otherwise with all these contradictions here and there nothing happens.

not all guys do not like women making the first move and not all women wait for men to make the first move.

We live in the year 2009.
Call whenever you think is right and you are comfortable with it. If you are interested -show it. The guy hopefully will not be judgemental because you simply decided to call soon.
If there is something you want to know about a particular person. Ask the source. That person.

It's ultimately between you and him.
 Dennis0515
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 54
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HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:55:10 AM
If I give a women my number, I would want her to call sooner rather then later. The 3 day rule has always been a bit silly to me. If a women gave me her number I would assume she gave it to me for a reason... she wants me to call her. The same can be said if I gave a women my number, if she doesn't call then I will assume she is not interested, and I would move on.


I'm not going to sit around waiting 3 days or more for her to decide to call me. I'm not interested in playing games.
 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 55
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:55:49 PM
I never call a man that gives me his number, regardless of how I feel. I also don`t give out my number until I know someone quite well and know they aren`t dangerous. So these personal rules for safety have made it difficult to connect. I will give a man sometimes my e-mail, if I really like him, but never my number. So for me, if the guy hands a card, it goes right into file 13 automatically.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 56
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HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 12/3/2009 5:00:58 AM
When a guy gave me his phone #I asked the convenient time I should call him..
and I call him as soon as I can.

It is not desperation to call the guy ,the same evening to thank him of the nicetime /dinner with him.
and now adays it is safer that the man give a woman his phone # than the woman gave her phone#. for so many reasons.
 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 57
when to call
Posted: 12/3/2009 5:06:03 AM
Dating rules like standardize dating...which is why the dating scene sucks.

Call when YOU feel is right. Be yourself.
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 58
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when to call
Posted: 12/3/2009 6:41:56 AM
Whenever you feel comfortable realizing that when you do call/text them, they will have your number as well.

(unless you use a payphone, or call from a restricted number...which means you need to address your own security)

Naturally, I'm assuming this is after you've been talking to them via email for a bit...if it's after a face-to-face meet up and you had a good time, a little appreciative ring-ring goes a long way.
 DanZX9
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 59
when to call
Posted: 12/3/2009 1:44:30 PM
If I have her number, I might send a text later that day 'had a great time, I'll call you later'. It reassures her I'm still interested, without seeming stalkerish (or too desperate).

More and more I will give out my # instead of asking. I figure I am preemptively making her feel a little safer. Some women may feel a little apprehensive giving out their number to someone they don't know well these days. So instead of forcing an awkward moment where she doesn't want to give out her number yet, I will just give her mine. I'll say 'I'm not busy later tonight, if you'd like to call'. Let's her know it's not too soon.

Basically I try to remove any doubts of safety or etiquette.

For the women who say they both don't give out their number, AND don't call someone who gives them theirs....I'm not exactly sure how you ever get to the first date. And IMO, dismissing a guy because he gave his number seems a little elitist. The guy could be like me, simply trying to show interest while at the same time making her feel a little safer. After all, having a guys # without giving out your own at the very least shows the guy is not a stalker.

Then again, maybe someone women want a stalker. What do I know, I just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.
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