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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????      Home login  
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 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 26
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Nitebynite....Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Wow I didn't know someone could be 39 and still in high school!

I'll help you out with this, but only if you email this girl and tell her I like her. I'll be your best friend forever!!
 joker1077
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 27
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:05:02 AM
When a guy gives you his # there is no time limmit. He gave you his # for a reason so just call him. Forget the 1 or 2 day rule. When I give a number out I like to hear from them right away. It shows me they are interested and not thinking about it or waiting for something better to come along.
 Nitebynite
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 28
Nitebynite....
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:06:49 AM
Hey Mojo, nothing better than a personal introduction . . . E-mail her yourself- you might be surprised and she'll reply . . . But that's the basis of my gripe. Too many ladies seem to be afraid to write US first, or reply to us . . . So why be part of a dating forum if they won't initiate or even respond?? The 'phone call' issue never happens unless the woman will punch the keys . . .
Ladies- it's Valentine's season . . . send a few e-mails . . . Kinda nuts to post your face unless you do some of the hunting too.
Oh, Mr Mojo- It's California . . . not unthinkable that someone 39 is still IN or acting like high school . . . Where do you think all these bad dating rituals begin??
They all say "no" and we're supposed to know that usually means "yes" . . .
Ladies-rise up and take some accountability for the love that seems to 'avoid' you.
 daylillies
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 29
Nitebynite....
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:13:33 AM
I always thought the 3-day rule was silly. If you had a good time, call them the next day and say so.


^^^^yup i agree...let them know if your interested in them ...this leaves the options open for him to continue with you...if he says hes gonna call....blah blah....call him....lol.
 anenigma
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 30
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Nitebynite....
Posted: 2/12/2006 11:21:42 AM
nitebynite

Don't be so judgemental. Obviously if you read the threads and talk to some ppl, SOME believe in the three day rule. I personally don't. Sometimes I've noticed when you wait too long in the online world of dating....you miss the boat cause someone else already got on And some ppl don't like it if you jump on too fast. Simply lookin for some feedback, not to be judged... Thank you very much!!!
 cblfem
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 31
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/12/2006 11:34:33 AM
i agree 3 day rule is absurd, if you had a good time, why not change 3rd day rule to that being the next time you go out!!!!!!!!!
 daylillies
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 32
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/12/2006 12:50:31 PM
oops my last post..i meant i dont agree with the 3 day rule...sounds ridicoulous to me....who the heck made that up anyways..shesh.
 Nitebynite
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 33
An observation only ....
Posted: 2/12/2006 1:08:53 PM
Anenigma
Just my observation, based on my experiences and what I hear from women about trying to be able to get a man's attention . . . It's probably tough with a lot of unknowns on both sides, otherwise these pages would surely be empty.
Anenigma dear, wouldn't you agree that a woman of your looks has an equally tough time when so many guys are AFRAID to approach a beautiful lady ? ? ? That's the one I can't understand. I don't care who calls who, but I think women can appreciate that since guys do 99% of the approaching anyway, we guys
1) know the odds ( she likely won't call maybe from fears or socializations of her own)
2) even if she likes a guy enough to call, it's going to still be that man's move to continue the future contacts (with her)
3) (guys) tend to seem judgmental because our experiences on the other side of the fence (usually initiating calls, dates, meetings) we've gotten used to dealing with the prospect of every fear or resentment ladies have experienced with another guy in the past.
Seems like we're all supposed to be somebody's magic 'love-monkey' with all the 'correct' moves so the pursuit of love (real) is exciting, reassuring, and 'right'
It can be interesting but who cares - there still is nothing better than the love of a man and a woman who are right for each other . . . spin-spin-spin
Oh, Anenigma . . . you sure seem to be quite the Babe . . . Hat's off, pretty lady. If you ever get tired of that snow full-time . . . (Formerly from Upstate N.Y)
 Silent_Thoughts
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 34
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An observation only ....
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:47:13 PM
This thread is a real hoot !

So - like the high school days, all the adult adolescents stand around in groups
of similar gender, glancing furtively at the one whose looks they appreciate -
but neither approaches nor gives any outwardly observable indication of their
interest !!

The sad part about all that is that on these sites we know ALOT more about
each other than high school kids do - we have all kinds of stats and written
info we can easily see before making contact somewhat anonymously - and
STILL people look and don't reach out - how silly is that ?

And what about this casual sprinkling about of this word that everyone uses,
but often as a catch-all only....remember when it was cool for kids to just
say 'like' and 'man' all the time ?
The psychobabble of our time is full of the word 'judgmental' !!!

I have been called this times beyond counting - and here is some background:

Breathing is important to me - as a former asthma sufferer - so breathing
smoke is NOT an option - I DON'T date smokers, period.
And I get told this is 'judgmental' !!!

Facts: Smokers make it hard for me (and anyone) to breathe; Smokers ALL
acquire the nauseating smell of their addiction - inside and out.

This is NOT a judgement - it is simple and factual - and personally I don't
hate smokers - one of my closest friends is a smoker - but I avoid the
smoke by not visiting the smoky house where I have trouble breathing.

In conclusion:
I think we should all worry - worry alot - be afwaid, be vewwy, vewwy
afwaid - make sure we tell LOTS of lies about ourselves so nobody can
ever find us, and above all, stay SINGLE - it's safer that way !!!

Oh, wait a minute, it's also a lonely way to live, hmmmm.....maybe it
is better to take some risks after all....

Best Wishes,

mark*
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 35
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/12/2006 3:24:22 PM
Hey, I only have speed dial
 anenigma
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 36
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An observation only ....
Posted: 2/13/2006 6:59:46 AM
nitebyte...Yes, i do agree with you, I suppose I really don't believe in the rules, but I do think unfortunately society has imposed them upon us anyhow. And to win in the game (it is fishin' right we probably have to follow at least some sort of blueprint. It's like when you're looking for a parking spot and you find one, well you put your turn signal on so no one else will grab it, and if they're not a jerk...they let you have it cause that's the unspoke rule of parking lot etiquette!! (that's a courtesy rule, bad analogy I guess..lol)
Some guys might find it uneasy to approach me, I'm not sure, but if they do, it's more on them and not me, because I do consider myself very open and friendly (And...I'm a nurse so I'm pretty much a people person
I do think that you're right, yes while we do call, often it's then left to the guy to carry the ball...and yes, we do have to deal with all the mental baggage left behind from the jerks we've come across...That's what makes it all so confusing!! Thank you for the compliments, by the way...I have to go dig my car out of the SNOW
 anenigma
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 37
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An observation only ....
Posted: 2/13/2006 7:15:11 AM

The sad part about all that is that on these sites we know ALOT more about
each other than high school kids do - we have all kinds of stats and written
info we can easily see before making contact somewhat anonymously - and
STILL people look and don't reach out - how silly is that ?


If you think that being on these sites tells you more about someone than we know in high
school, you're kidding yourself. PEOPLE LIE on these sites. I happen to know a guy, a friend
who posted on here stating he's looking for a woman to COMPLETE HIM...lol..ya know what he's looking for??? Multiple pieces of A** Some people on these sites have the mentality of a high school kid and we need to weed them out!


And what about this casual sprinkling about of this word that everyone uses,
but often as a catch-all only....remember when it was cool for kids to just
say 'like' and 'man' all the time ?
The psychobabble of our time is full of the word 'judgmental' !!![/qoute]

Wrong post. Sounds to me like you're upset someone labeled you as judgmental where it was inappropriate. Not liking smokers is a preference. This post isn't about acting like a teenager. For crying out loud, at least half the men on here still haven't grown up and act 18!! For those of us who don't act like a prepubescent teenager, it's very frustrating!! Nuff said!!
 Silent_Thoughts
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 38
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Anenigma....
Posted: 2/13/2006 9:14:17 PM
That smoking is deadly and makes it hard to breathe is not a preference !
I expressed it as factual, and that is what I meant.

I wasn't saying whether I -like- smokers, and I clearly stated that I have
one of my dearest and oldest friends who is a smoker - silly.

The teenager reference has several sources, I will try to be more clear,
starting with what you said: "For crying out loud, at least half the men on here still haven't grown up and act 18!! For those of us who don't act like a prepubescent teenager, it's very frustrating!!"
I agree completely in all ways with your statement.

As far as what I was referring to - one of my favorite authors refers to mating
rituals of all species as 'the barnyard dance' - and I have come to regard most
of the actions of homo sapiens specifically in such matters as the 'teenage
mating ritual' - meaning, most people learned whatever mating skills they have
as teenagers, and that is the usual stopping point in their development as well.

Have you noticed a great many people of both genders that simply act as though
they have the maturity of a 13 year old ? (I have noticed this, ALOT !)
This is because when they hit puberty, nobody knew what to do with them, and
lacking for guidance, they finished 'raising' themselves - and since at that age
they most needed to be autonomous, they attained that, and went little further.

Most of the 55 year old men I know that manage busineses have the outward
presentation of a 13-14 year old boy, and the same tastes in many things too !

More to the point of this thread:

That whole thing about who-calls-who comes from what we were taught is
'acceptable' in our school years, and most often by our folks and others that
grew up in a different time with less of certain things, and NO INTERNET or
cellular phones to call or to text message with....
Those values simply NO LONGER MAKE SENSE !!!

That's what I meant, sorry if I was unclear.

Mind reading and guesswork make this whole process much more difficult
than it needs to be - maybe that is thrilling when someone is 18 and trying
out the dating scene as an adult for the 1st time - but once we've been
around some, it is best to just say what we mean, and if we want to speak
with someone - for crying out loud - whether we are male of female - pick
up the phone and call them !!!!!!!

Nothing is more flattering than to get a call soon after a first date from a
woman, wanting just to chat, or wondering when can we see each other !

Be Well, and Happy !

mark*
 danishpastry
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 39
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/13/2006 10:41:05 PM
I hope you would call as soon as it is convenient. Why wait? Find out if there is a connection and either get together or move on. I don't understand all the hesitation and games that are played online.
 AnthonyJ
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 40
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 2/13/2006 11:10:30 PM
Yeah, why does there have to be some rule about when to call? All these rules just make things complicated. Just play it by ear and call when you really want to call....
 isaacKitty
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 41
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 7:13:59 AM
I don't like when the guy gives me his number.
I feel like he's judging me as desperate if I call.
I hate feeling like I'm begging for a date So I may not call.That's just me !
Some women are more bold and perhaps those guys find that sort of confidence sexy but I have never had success that way.
 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 42
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 9:17:05 AM
I also NEVER call a guy, whether he gives me his number or not. I was raised that this is very forward and not ladylike. I also don`t give out my number. So it makes it very difficult to communicate or get to know a man with those rules. About the only hope there would be to get to know me is to meet again someplace or agreed to meet somewhere, or possibly an e-mail. But I never call a man, unless I have been in a relationship with him for quite a time and he has askedme to call him. Even when in a relationship, I would really hesitate to call or text or e-mail or anything. I usually think " If they want to see me, they will call. If they don`t, I will leave them alone, and assume that they are busy." Usually guys don`t like women calling and bothering them. They like to call all of the shots.

If I was to call a man, I would feel that I am giving him the vibe that I want to get with him, and am rushing things, and he would think that I was easy.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 43
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 12:46:39 PM
Call him whenever you are available. There shouldn't be any "rules" about who should call first or when someone should call.
 turbulence1981
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 44
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 1:30:51 PM
Sorry, but you shouldn't call the guy back. Why didn't he ask for your number instead?
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 45
Nitebynite....
Posted: 5/12/2009 4:35:25 PM
If you like her the sooner the better, why wait to be happy. Follow your instincts and you like each other why wait a day a week or a month. Do it right away and find out sooner rather than later wether it was meant to be or you just wasted a month of your life ?
 hardcoredaydreamer
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 46
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HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 5/12/2009 4:48:34 PM
if it's a mobile number i'd text it within a few hours just to give him my number eg
"Hey it's _____, just so you got my number :) xx"
if it's a house phone number... well i've never encountered that and don't know what i'd do. soz.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 47
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:51:10 PM
i dont do the 3 day rule, if i happen to like the guy ill give him a ring instead of waiting around.
 Fish.2.See
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 48
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Nitebynite....
Posted: 6/11/2009 10:03:56 PM
I would say two days, but that is my opinion. If you called the same day some red flags might pop up in my mind that you are desperate or clingy even if you are not. Nobody likes a stage 5 clinger male or female.
-Mike
 psychoholoic
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 49
HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:27:47 AM
If we like you, call in a hour or so, we're not women, we're not complicated and have some goofy set of rules were really dumb things will set us off like calling too fast/
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 50
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HELP! When a guy gives you his #, how long do you wait to call?????
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:44:56 PM
Psychoholoic said:

If we like you, call in a hour or so, we're not women, we're not complicated and have some goofy set of rules were really dumb things will set us off like calling too fast/


and 12 hours before MichaelRAllen said:

I would say two days, but that is my opinion. If you called the same day some red flags might pop up in my mind that you are desperate or clingy even if you are not. Nobody likes a stage 5 clinger male or female.
-Mike


Now maybe, just maybe you guys can understand why a woman may be confused about when to call?

OT: I almost never call. My boyfriend complains about this now, and just recently explained to me how much it bothered him that I don't call him. Apparently he likes it when I call, makes him feel wanted, and appreciated, and missed. Huh. That's how I feel when he calls me. Go figure.

Yup, feeling pretty stupid about the "never call a guy rule" after he explained that little tidbit.

If you like someone, call. Not obsessively, but call to say "hi, I was thinking about you and it made me smile". That kinda thing makes my whole day.
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