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Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 60
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can men accept someone with bipolar?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Stangy, that was beautifully written.

I have a sister with bi-polar and a friend. They have tough times and good times. Having that support gets them through the day.
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 61
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:56:36 PM
No. People on this site do not accept bipolar people. To truly let your hair down, please visit nolongerlonely.
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 62
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 1/7/2010 10:29:41 PM
From my experience,dating someone with Bipolar disorder is very insidious and emotionally devastating. I've been dating my girl friend for 7months and everything seemed perfect,especially in the beginning. Very pretty and always happy. Always making jokes,the typical kind of girl any guy would want to have. It's only till the relationship began to evolve that you become more fond of her, gradually learning that something definitely isn't right. But unfortunately,being naive due to her beauty often comes with a price to pay. There are times that the littlest thing could send her off the wall. For example a friend of mine was going on a date with his girlfriend and he wanted me to tag along. By the time i told her the news, it would of been to late for her to spend the night with us considering she had school the next day. That being the case,she went insane on me just because i didn't invite her to come with me on time to hangout with my friend! When I say insane i mean she said she hates me which she rarely ever says and on top of that threatens me with suicide! I try really hard to convince her that her life is worth it, but she believes that everyone else in the world hates her. So it's really stressful especially if you become emotionally involved. Personally, I love her to death, but I regret the day that I ever met her... It takes a lot of will power, I mean a tremendous stupendous amount of will power to survive in that kind of relationship. So ultimately, if your planning on dating a bipolar girl, really consider what your getting into because it's hard!
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 63
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 1/9/2010 9:29:43 AM
Nobody's perfect.

That said, I've never dated a woman who is bipolar (to my knowledge anyway). But I was best buddies with a guy who sank deeper and deeper into this condition...the moodiness, completely shutting down in social situations or even in a one-on-one conversation, prone to bouts of negativity and temper outbursts...dunno if I could live with that every day...

But the bigger issue that I had with him is his denial. If one can ADMIT that they have the condition and just say "forgive me, I'm having an off day today", I think I could accept them just fine. I'm not perfect either, and have my many, many moods (even though I haven't been diagnosed, I probably have the condition too). He was so damn secretive, hiding the condition, that I took it as a sign of rejection, and it pissed me off.
 Foxi Pavement
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 64
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 1/18/2010 1:52:05 AM
I understand fully OP...I wonder if the guys are willing to put forth the advise besides further stigmatizing the illness...nothing is worse then someone who further stigmatizes someone who is dealing with a mental illness which is beyond their control. I wouldn't wish it on anyone...when 1 in 3 people are touched by someone with a mental illness in their life. I lost my grandpa...
Joined: 11/15/2004
Msg: 65
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 2/9/2010 10:12:32 PM
if you're not taking your medication then no.

I use to know a bipolar girl, she was good-looking, but her actions made everyone hate her. she would cheat on her boyfriend all the time. she would go on overspending shopping spree. she would lie all the time, she would talk badly about everybody.

for 3 months she would have full of energy, party all the time, do drugs, sleep with random people on the Internet for drugs or small amount of money.

She would do very strange stuff.

She would make plans and cancel last-minute.
she would accuse all her friends of stealing.

made the people around her go crazy, and very sad..

I'm still her friend, but my only communication is online with her.
None of her relationships have lasted more than a few months,she would either cheat on them, she would do it impulsively, and most guys can't deal with their girlfriends cheating on them, so that's the number one problem with bipolar girls.

I really wish she would take her medication.
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 66
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 2/23/2010 9:18:48 PM
this is a real tough question. Ive known people with bipolar and its nothing pretty!
Im sure with the right medication and treatment it's okay but man or man, what a tough question. I think i would stay clear at first but love knows no bounds - u know? Maybe you should try alternative methods of dealing with your negativity. Good luck in the future.
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 67
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 2/26/2010 10:42:15 AM
I was married for 10 years. She was schizo-effective which is bi-polar with a slight touch of schizophrenia. Minimum amounts of all meds taken.
The more control you show that you have over your illness, the easier it will be for your mate to help and not stress to the limit.
Along with stayin on the meds, one must be in some sort of therapy to keep on track. And show some intelligence ie. know how to handle the disease by remembering what the doctor's have told/taught you. This means self medicating at times: bumping up certain meds when your body is overriding them, and it will at times, and knowing when to bring them back down. My ex was not able (lack of education? IQ?) to monitor her own situation and would 'let things go where they may', which is how she lived life, too. She 'hoped' a lot but never learned that we are in control of ourselves and our destinations, not Fate!
Again, educate yourself on your illness and control it, not it control you. All this is is a chemical balancing act/imbalance and needs to be looked upon in an objective manner. I have heard men be able to talk about their mental illness in a very objective, matter-of-fact way and what they need to do to control it. But women tend to get caught up in the emotional, subjective side which leads to out of control.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 68
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 2/26/2011 12:08:08 AM
I was in a 6 year relationship with a woman who is obviously bipolar, does not recognize it, and is opposed to any sort of medication. I will never, ever do that again. She has *extreme* mood swings and temper tantrums and expects everyone around her to just put up with it. No way.

I briefly dated a guy who is bipolar, admits he's bipolar, is on meds, and understands the challenges of it. He controls himself well and does not expect the people around him to put up with a bunch of craziness. Someone like him I could probably handle.

You cannot expect people around you to put up with unreasonable behavior. If you want healthy relationships, you have to be a healthy person. You owe it to them and to yourself to get a handle on it. None of us is perfect but we cannot expect the people around us to put up with behavior that should not be tolerated. If you cannot or will not keep yourself reasonably under control, then perhaps you should not even try to get into a relationship because the only kind of people who will put up with it are people who are unhealthy themselves.

I'm speaking as someone who has struggled with depression on & off most of my life.
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 69
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/1/2011 12:46:37 PM
Bipolar disorder can trick some people who have it into believing they feel bad for some other reason, or that other people are responsible. So they keep doing the same things, while they wonder why it feels so hard to get close to people. And some get hooked on the good feelings they sometimes have and don't want to give them up. What's tragic is that behind the moody, needy, angry behavior there may be a very nice, lovable person who's harder on themselves than on anyone else.

So, the biggest consideration for me would be whether she was committed to controlling it. No one should be made a pariah just because they're afflicted with something like this--that's like double punishment. To me, it's a lot like someone having epilepsy or diabetes; you can almost always have a normal, happy life if you take the right medications and develop the right habits. If I had seen the person behind the disorder and loved her, I would take the risk to be with her.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 70
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/4/2011 6:13:22 PM

So, the biggest consideration for me would be whether she was committed to controlling it. No one should be made a pariah just because they're afflicted with something like this--that's like double punishment.

We need "like" buttons like we have on FB. My sentiments exactly. As you stated, if the person behind the disease was someone you wanted to be with and they were committed to controlling it, then yeah.
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 71
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/6/2011 8:21:37 PM
I thought I could handle it because I used to have symptoms myself, but I got burned bad by a girl with bipolar disorder.

I knew she had it because she told me. She also explained that she didn't want to take meds because she was afraid it would make her fat. (this should have been my first warning sign)

When we first got together she acted like she was in love with me, was very needy of attention and intimacy. She kept on pushing for more and more attachment in the relationship, which was great to me because I really liked her too.

After receiving a text from her one night that she was drunk and horny and couldn't wait to see me in a few days when we were planning on seeing one another, she called me the next day to say she felt like a shitty person and that she needed to get her life together and "its not you its me"... so basically, she cheated on me.

I'll definitely be more cautious before I ever let a bipolar girl into my heart again, because that was pretty bad, I mean, who was the real her? I guess both versions of her were the real her, and I just ended up getting the shitty one.
Joined: 1/7/2011
Msg: 72
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/19/2011 3:43:43 AM
Hang on a second merelymortal..... How do you get "she cheated on me" from her saying "it's not you it's me"???
This sounds so much like the conversation I had with the man I loved and supposedly loved me back. I am the Bi Polar and he was a simply distrusting fool. I too was in a shitty place and needed to get my life on track but I NEVER cheated on him. He accused me of cheating but he was wrong. Have you considered you were just using this as an excuse to leave the relationship with less guilt?
You got a whole person when you fell for your Bi polar lady. All of her is real.. Not all is pretty but ... at least you knew what you were getting and you should have been a little more trusting.
I am sorry but your post touched a very raw nerve and I simply had to reply.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 73
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/25/2011 5:52:43 PM
Some of the people described on this thread, don't sound like they are bipolar....if in fact they are disordered, they sound more BPD (Borderline) than bipolar.

When I say insane i mean she said she hates me which she rarely ever says and on top of that threatens me with suicide! I try really hard to convince her that her life is worth it, but she believes that everyone else in the world hates her.

This ^ sounds more borderline than bipolar.

Borderlines are more needy, clingy, emotional, suspicious, self conscious, prone to rage.

A bipolar person in a manic phase, would be more likely to be angry that they are missing out on the party, than anything else.

If they were in a depressive phase, they wouldn't care what was going on, one way or the other.

An important thing to note. Most studies and research for medications are carried out on men. They are modelled for a 180 lb man. Women may metabolize, and have very different side effects than men.

I am bipolar, and take about 1/3 the dosage of Lithium of the average man. In the beginning, I took more than I take now for about 2 weeks. I was unable to function. I insisted my Dr. lower my dosage. I've been on the same dosage for 7 years. My moods are quite stable, unless I am under extreme stress....even then, so far, they have been considered in the "normal" range.
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 74
can men accept someone with bipolar or date them?
Posted: 5/21/2012 1:14:34 PM
NO! never again. I was once married to a Manic Depressant lady, and dated several that are terribly bi-polar. They think it is OK to be rude and arrogant, and etc. Then they expect the man to want to accept their sweet nature afterwards. Thier MOOD and hateful words can Hurt a man's feelings. Perhaps it is a justifiable thing for women on POF to post that they have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder..
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 75
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 6/21/2012 8:09:35 PM
I think I should get my man on here to say what he thinks on this..

He does not have any issues accepting my bipolar and is in fact happy I am the way I am..

Its the stigma and the people that carry the worse of issues that use the bipolar as a crutch and gives the rest of us a bad name.
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 76
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:25:50 PM
As a person with mild Aspergers and some depressive episodes every here and there, I would not want to date someone with bi-polar. The reason why is I may have my own little problems to deal with. I don't want to worry about a partner having bi-polar disorder. I remember seeing someone that had bi-polar back in high school and I did not understand what it was at the time. I remember she lied to me about wanting to date me exclusively and she was more than willing to cheat on me too. She then justified the cheating because of her bi-polar disorder. I called it off over the phone with her and she got really angry with me. I was scared of her after that and I could not forgive her since she lied to me as well.
I am not saying that people with bi-polar don't deserve love and respect from other people, I think they do deserve love and care from family and friends and husbands or wives. What I am really saying is that I don't think people with Aspergers and Bi-polar would click well due to the fact that these two types of people can be insensitive to others feelings. I know from myself that I still have to work on my sensitivity a little more.
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 77
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 6/26/2012 6:29:12 PM
mmm.. MildMike, people that do that, (make excuses for what ever they have or done have medically wrong and use that as a "cop out") aren't really anyone's ideal person.

Want to say this too.

I am bipolar.
My brother has narcolepsy.
My middle son has add.
My youngest son is a aspie.

We all get along pretty good, despite the "labels" that some doctor had the decision to place on us.

It is the choice of who to have in their life, because it does take 2 to have a relationship.

I will not date someone that lies cheats steals or disregards others. My choice ;)
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 78
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 6/27/2012 7:38:05 PM

Your ex sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder either with bipolar, or on it's own.You're describing more emotional behaviour than manic/depressive behaviour
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 79
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:01:52 PM
If you are suffering from a mental illness you can still be strong on the surface of things, keeping it together, functioning in a stressful workplace, a household filled with children creating chaos in the kitchen but you can still feel empty and frustrated from the depression you are suffering from.

One thing you need to learn is that there is hope even when you feel mad, cursed, rejected, helpless and alone. When bipolar becomes such a struggle that it becomes difficult for you to function and survive there are people around you who can motivate you with positive words of encouragement when you need it the most from the people who care about you and love you for who you are. Bipolar holds your body and your mind hostage. There is no way that you can go back to the previous life that you lived without it coming back to haunt you sometime in the future. It clutters up your brain like a game of pick-up-sticks; erases happier memories, your head space, it doesn’t make you hold back on the small truths and big lies that you hold inside your head and your heart. It takes a long while before your dignity, health and integrity is restored. It is always a healing work in progress.

The human condition is also a great teacher. It teaches us that human beings suffer needlessly, life is unfair and that sometimes bad things happen to good people and there’s no reason that anyone can come to for why this happens. We can’t explain it only see it, the illness as a blessing in disguise. It has taught us all so much about love and acceptance. Lessons we wouldn’t even have conceived of if it didn’t happen to our family. Every family has heartache of their own and their own problems that they deal with.

Don't forget though, hopelessness turned into hope. Defeat turned into little victories and then bigger victories. Fear turned into faith. Good luck to you and keep strong!
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 80
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 9/4/2012 11:18:11 PM
To: Mrcat123

The more you know, the easier it will be to decide if this is something you can or cannot deal with. Keep in mind that people with bipolar disorder can have loving relationships, but they definitely take more time, attention and patience.
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 81
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 2/15/2013 7:58:10 AM
I dated a girl with bipolar and even after I realized how her condition influenced her behavior, I could not help but feel hurt whenever she insulted me. When her mood was nasty she would say horrible things in a way that seemed so heartfelt, I believed she really meant what she said. So no amount of apologies nor regrets made up for it. I guess it depends on your ability to separate yourself from those words. My take is, she wouldn't have said those things if she didn't feel them deep down inside. Her condition contributed to her thinking and feeling awful things and left her trapped in a state of intense negativity. Bipolar is not to be underestimated.

Emily Deans MD, a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical school believes that ketogenic, primal diet would help improve symptoms of bipolar. Many commenters report that low carb eating and an increase in healthful fats, specifically omega 3-s from fish and seafood improved their mood stability and decreased the extreme swings.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 82
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can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 2/15/2013 10:49:53 PM
Again, I think that your girlfriend may have been misdiagnosed....

Bipolar people may get extremely irritable when manic. This is a cycle that will last for a period of days(orlonger) then there will be a crash.

If she lashes out wiyh no rhyme or reason with respect to manic or depressive "cycles), she may not be bipolar...

Just for comparison, a BPD will lash out badly....then be fine for a few hours...then lash out again. There's no rhyme or rason to the mood swings...they're random
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 83
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/19/2013 8:16:31 PM
Isn't every woman bipolar?
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 84
can men accept someone with bipolar?
Posted: 3/19/2013 9:46:46 PM
yes they can

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