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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are men really attracted to "needy" women?      Home login  
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 bobbill
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 26
Are men really attracted to needy women?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Females and males in my home were expected to be self-sufficient and to do the best they could. While I was in college, I dated what are now Doctors, Lawyers, PhDs, M.S.’s, M.A.’s and a high level Financial Officer. I appreciated a good mind and confidence. A emotionally weak person is to be helped up to a point, and may be a point of concern, but certainly not appealing. Personally, I liked being around someone that was better or smarter than I at something. Consider the source, OP is writing about a BAR SCENE. It is likely the males focus upon an independent, intelligent woman when the scene is repeated at an upper level college class. They were the hot ones in my world.
 BIGROCK96
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 27
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 10/14/2006 3:52:10 PM
GOTTA BE NEEDED.. IT'S WHAT MAKES US SIGNIFICANT.. WE LOVE IT , BUT IT GET'S US INTO BIG TROUBLE.. AND BROKE TOO.. NEXT TIME, I'M LOOKIN FOR A TEAMMATE..
 BIGROCK96
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 28
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 10/14/2006 3:54:22 PM
THERE'S ALSO A GOOD BOOK BY A GUY NAMED GLOVER.. GET IT.. IT'S CALLED SOMETHING LIKE "NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY" .. WE ARE NOT THE VICTIMS.. WE ARE JUST IDIOTS..
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 29
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:17:59 PM
Men will go to a more needy woman because she doesn't shoot him down when he talks to her. A needy woman will talk to any guy, and will tell them her whole life story. Whereas a sufficient woman, in the same scenerio, would have shot this guy down already. Needy women are rarely ever picky with the men they talk to, so that is why they usually have a large following.
======================
Urban myth
I belive that you have the right name as I believe that this is largely an urban myth. Needy women are often terribly picky.

However

Needy women have the kind of REPUTATION that you are talking about, which is why the guys flock to them. For a short time anyway.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 30
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:40:55 PM
Who needs a whinnie needed person around.

Now that I said that - I would rather have a tad needy than - OMG I can’t stand this type are they are everywhere >>>

“I AM WOMAN WATCH ME ROAR”
“I DONT NEED A MAN”
“MY PECKER IS BIGGER AND MEANER THAN YOUR PECKER IS”
“I HAVE THE PU**Y AND THAT MEANS I MAKE THE RULES”
“THE WOMAN’S MOVEMENT MEANS WE ARE NOW THE VERY SAME IN ALL WAYS” - duh no we are not we are different


Equality is fine and I am all for it. But silly me ........... (call me old - cuz I am) ..... I am really not interested in a (wannabe) guy with bOObs.

Also - to me (from what I have ran into so far - only stating my experence) - the um .......... modern day female had taken that “we are the same” right into the bedroom. All three of the females I have been out with “stunk” of getting me naked was JOB ONE. That just don’t seem all that “female” to me. I like actual females.

Rather than sport sex - or “sex is just part of the date” - I like it better when they feel tad guilty but can’t help it and take their pants off because they want sex - with ME. The way those gals did it - I could have been any guy - just another sausage with feet to them. Just “business as usual”. I had NO DOUBT the next guy would get the same cheap ass sex as I did.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 31
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/26/2007 2:41:55 PM
Helping others - helps us. I will and have spent hours and hours and hours trying to help someone that is where I was at one time (sad-down in the dumps). I have no hidden motives NONE. The joy of helping others is wonderful and it has a big pay back for you.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 32
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/26/2007 8:25:36 PM
I suppose I used to be attracted to needy girls once upon a time. Usually, they are good girls and not bad girls. And I do like good girls. However, they can put a lot of pressure on a guy because of whatever they went through. I suppose I can accept a girl being needy to some extent, because no one is perfect and some girls, like guys, have gone through difficult things. If she seems like a girl who can work on her issues and is decent, then I'd consider it, but it depends on how much of a needy state she is in. When it gets too much you feel an anchor is pulling you down. One of my best girlfriends at one time was kind of needy. She was a great person. Things can only be seen on a case by case basis. Everyone is different. A girl who is needy has a romantic side usually, a kind side, an affectionate side and if that is there with intelligence and a willing to get past somethings then it's okay. I don't think you can judge things in a harsh, black-and-white way. Of course, you might deal with frustration where some of them might feel guys are pigs or dogs or whatever.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 33
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/27/2007 11:30:20 PM
Needy = weak and vulnerable. If they're predators as a lot of people in bars are, she's given the tell they need to persue. They'll both probably feel good for the moment. Who knows about the future?
 Michael is in Orlando
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 34
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:52:50 PM

"A needy", is not someone who has few possessions. You can have very little and still be strong, confident and independent. In fact, if you depend on "things" for self esteem, you will have a very low one - probably hiding behind a wall of arrogance.



i think a lot of women make this mistake and end up replacing there need for men with need for materialism which is very unattracitive.

independence/supporting yourself=attractive

materialism=unattractive and needy
 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 35
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 9/29/2007 7:22:58 AM
Attraction perhaps but any resulting r/s is likely to be brief.
My female friends tell me that most men are afraid of strong women,
something I find strange since all my female friends are strong independent
ladies who don't "need" me and the mere fact that we don't "need" each other
but choose to share time with each other is what makes those friendships special.
 ace76
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 36
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 9/29/2007 8:02:40 AM
That has more to do with looks, than anything, IMO
 kindapicky
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 37
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 9/29/2007 2:11:41 PM
I avoid "needy" women. After about 2 months the relationship becomes strained, they cannot just shut up.
I would love to find a good "LADY" with good morals and goals than a nut job with plenty of money and built like a "brick sh** house".
 FTWFella
Joined: 7/20/2007
Msg: 38
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/14/2009 7:50:36 AM
My observations - men may only be attracted to needy women - if they are not excessive in that way...

Men like to be seen as useful - problem solvers - be thought of as an important asset...

Much in the way this modern world works marginalizes the male role. When I read a statement in a woman's profile like "I don't need a man"... I just keep on clicking... these phrases often come with an attitude ... and I don't deal with attitudes. And - no ladies - it doesn't matter how many times you explain and re-explain these types of phrases - they grate on a man's ear.

Oh yes -some men in a bar might see such a 'needy' woman as an easy sexual conquest and take advantage of the gal... but it is not always the male motivation. The value of men these days is often pushed aside - and men like to be the 'fixer' - the hero of small situations... when allowed to do so... try it sometime - ASK FOR SOME HELP --- I'm betting you'll be pleasantly surprised.

The women who scoff at the sincere motivation of men - wanting to help - well these women just don't 'get' men. Marginalizing men will just get you a lonely ride to the nursing home some day.

FTWfella
 Miss_Jewlz
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 39
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/14/2009 12:21:34 PM
Because Men need to feel dominant and needed, there scared when a woman has her head on straight, since she's able to make her own decisions and choice's.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 40
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/14/2009 2:29:08 PM
I think there is a very fine line between feeling "needy" and showing a man that he is "needed"...
 Marluv
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 41
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/14/2009 7:30:35 PM
It may be displayed as need but have the time the motive is greed
 Samurai41
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 42
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 2/18/2009 8:30:15 PM
I want a partner who WANTS me, not one that needs me.

cant say it any simpler than that
 Darasalaam
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 43
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:42:53 AM
I often wondered the same thing: why men are so attracted to needy women while complaining about how the current needy woman only needs them for money, stability, and pushed the men into marriage right after meeting...but going back to the same hassle time and time again. I was baffled. Very baffled. I have known smart men who got involved with dumb women...especially in my area. One could not even say the sir name of her mate for a long time. Talk about dumb and she got an engagement ring before she could say the name.

I spoke to a male friend of mine who is constantly going with women who are so needy and chaotic. His answer: "I do not have to be polished up with a sophisticated woman who has her act together. I do not have to try as hard." Yes, that makes a lot of sense even though this fellow and many like him go through the same dramas over and over again stating that they want different. Another friend admitted to going to pack his clothing anytime his girlfriend and he have even the slightest disagreement. He admits he does this to test her. We were together for a very short time and I would not tolerate some bad behaviour I will not mention here. Needless to say, he is back with the engagement to the needy woman who keeps putting up with his behaviour.

At first, I thought this lady 'won' but she did not win a thing. She has more chaos coming her way than she realises and puts this man on a pedestal while not knowing certain things. Yeah, it stung that it did not even come close to working out with me and him but I would rather be alone than to tolerate someone's unacceptable behaviour. That is why stronger women are often likely to be alone and not have a plethora of men asking her out. It is known a strong woman will not put up with bad behaviour just for the sake of a relationship and "love."
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 44
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 8:11:27 AM
Refer to the thread "Why are men threatened by independent women" and your questions will be answered there.......this thread and that one go hand in hand.......
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 45
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 1:11:03 PM
I think if you asked a real man, he would say he wants to feel needed by his woman.
If you are in a bar situation the woman, who is more confident looking, is probably not sizing up every Tom,****and Harry that walks into the bar.
She may not be as approachable in this setting, but it does not mean that men don't love confident women.
There is a difference between needy and needed.
It is okay to want to be needed or to want someone that can supply you with some of your needs.
Isn't that why we are all here?
If you say you want a person who wants you, Is that not in a sense a need to be wanted?
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 46
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 5:08:49 PM
Are men really attracted to needy women?

Yes they are, but only the men who are still little boys in their mind, but cloak themselves in a man's body. Typically, they are drawn to women who enjoy raising somebody else's aging and over-grown son.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 47
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:14:59 PM
A larger percentage of western males are raised with a morale that they should for reasons of honor and social good help a lesser person who needs help. In this case you are referring to women who seem innocent and in need on the surface, but generally are energy vampires once you peel back the layers of the onion.

That kind of woman is a creation of a society that still tries to promote a female role for women that says "needy" is somehow good or romantic. Anxiety or illogical emotional behavioral is what drives women who suffer from what psychologists coin "distorted thinking". These are women who are drawn to drama, and create it when it is not there.

Men need to learn that such women cannot be saved.


Yes they are, but only the men who are still little boys in their mind, but cloak themselves in a man's body. Typically, they are drawn to women who enjoy raising somebody else's aging and over-grown son.


Anger and hatred. very adult "womanly" of you. You are what you accuse men of being. Both sad and irony that is lost on you.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 48
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:41:51 PM
^^^^^^^^^Naw..........he just has no sense of humor!!
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 49
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:48:22 PM

I think if you asked a real man, he would say he wants to feel needed by his woman.
If you are in a bar situation the woman, who is more confident looking, is probably not sizing up every Tom,****and Harry that walks into the bar.
She may not be as approachable in this setting, but it does not mean that men don't love confident women.
There is a difference between needy and needed.
It is okay to want to be needed or to want someone that can supply you with some of your needs.
Isn't that why we are all here?
If you say you want a person who wants you, Is that not in a sense a need to be wanted?



.....Beautifully said. Here is one that gets it. You won't be single for long.......
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 50
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:58:53 PM

Anxiety or illogical emotional behavioral is what drives women who suffer from what psychologists coin "distorted thinking".


And some "popcorn box psychologists" just don't like it when somebody thinks differently than they do. Of course, that's how they justify their existence and their jobs......by coming up with some new catchy phrase or mysterious thought process that is different from their own.
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