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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are men really attracted to "needy" women?      Home login  
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 1bucket
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 151
Are men really attracted to needy women?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
this is a doctor that heals laywers..... tends the bar. couldnt help.
 Darasalaam
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 152
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:42:53 AM
I often wondered the same thing: why men are so attracted to needy women while complaining about how the current needy woman only needs them for money, stability, and pushed the men into marriage right after meeting...but going back to the same hassle time and time again. I was baffled. Very baffled. I have known smart men who got involved with dumb women...especially in my area. One could not even say the sir name of her mate for a long time. Talk about dumb and she got an engagement ring before she could say the name.

I spoke to a male friend of mine who is constantly going with women who are so needy and chaotic. His answer: "I do not have to be polished up with a sophisticated woman who has her act together. I do not have to try as hard." Yes, that makes a lot of sense even though this fellow and many like him go through the same dramas over and over again stating that they want different. Another friend admitted to going to pack his clothing anytime his girlfriend and he have even the slightest disagreement. He admits he does this to test her. We were together for a very short time and I would not tolerate some bad behaviour I will not mention here. Needless to say, he is back with the engagement to the needy woman who keeps putting up with his behaviour.

At first, I thought this lady 'won' but she did not win a thing. She has more chaos coming her way than she realises and puts this man on a pedestal while not knowing certain things. Yeah, it stung that it did not even come close to working out with me and him but I would rather be alone than to tolerate someone's unacceptable behaviour. That is why stronger women are often likely to be alone and not have a plethora of men asking her out. It is known a strong woman will not put up with bad behaviour just for the sake of a relationship and "love."
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 153
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 8:11:27 AM
Refer to the thread "Why are men threatened by independent women" and your questions will be answered there.......this thread and that one go hand in hand.......
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 154
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 1:11:03 PM
I think if you asked a real man, he would say he wants to feel needed by his woman.
If you are in a bar situation the woman, who is more confident looking, is probably not sizing up every Tom,****and Harry that walks into the bar.
She may not be as approachable in this setting, but it does not mean that men don't love confident women.
There is a difference between needy and needed.
It is okay to want to be needed or to want someone that can supply you with some of your needs.
Isn't that why we are all here?
If you say you want a person who wants you, Is that not in a sense a need to be wanted?
 VegasGambit
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 155
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 3:15:19 PM
No, no, no, no, and NO!!!

While I understand that part of the perks of having a significant other is to comfort your partner during hard times, I want nothing to do with either a needy girl, or a girl who has not put her baggage to rest.

Women who always complain about men, or who say men are all jerks, or keep saying they are "over it" are big turnoffs to me. I like a woman who can be self-reliant. Yes, it's ok to be upset when something bad happens or if a boyfriend breaks up with you or if you get rejected, but you can't let it drag you down for months or even years.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 156
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 5:08:49 PM
Are men really attracted to needy women?

Yes they are, but only the men who are still little boys in their mind, but cloak themselves in a man's body. Typically, they are drawn to women who enjoy raising somebody else's aging and over-grown son.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 157
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:14:59 PM
A larger percentage of western males are raised with a morale that they should for reasons of honor and social good help a lesser person who needs help. In this case you are referring to women who seem innocent and in need on the surface, but generally are energy vampires once you peel back the layers of the onion.

That kind of woman is a creation of a society that still tries to promote a female role for women that says "needy" is somehow good or romantic. Anxiety or illogical emotional behavioral is what drives women who suffer from what psychologists coin "distorted thinking". These are women who are drawn to drama, and create it when it is not there.

Men need to learn that such women cannot be saved.


Yes they are, but only the men who are still little boys in their mind, but cloak themselves in a man's body. Typically, they are drawn to women who enjoy raising somebody else's aging and over-grown son.


Anger and hatred. very adult "womanly" of you. You are what you accuse men of being. Both sad and irony that is lost on you.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 158
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:41:51 PM
^^^^^^^^^Naw..........he just has no sense of humor!!
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 159
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:48:22 PM

I think if you asked a real man, he would say he wants to feel needed by his woman.
If you are in a bar situation the woman, who is more confident looking, is probably not sizing up every Tom,****and Harry that walks into the bar.
She may not be as approachable in this setting, but it does not mean that men don't love confident women.
There is a difference between needy and needed.
It is okay to want to be needed or to want someone that can supply you with some of your needs.
Isn't that why we are all here?
If you say you want a person who wants you, Is that not in a sense a need to be wanted?



.....Beautifully said. Here is one that gets it. You won't be single for long.......
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 160
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:58:53 PM

Anxiety or illogical emotional behavioral is what drives women who suffer from what psychologists coin "distorted thinking".


And some "popcorn box psychologists" just don't like it when somebody thinks differently than they do. Of course, that's how they justify their existence and their jobs......by coming up with some new catchy phrase or mysterious thought process that is different from their own.
 ratz333
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 161
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 8:17:55 PM
I think your right , but have you ever thought maybe some women pretend to be needy. I have and it works both ways.
 SarahBeth58
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 162
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 9:32:51 PM
I consder myself to be self suffcient and intelligent. On that note, I am also a BBW (whch drops your "hit on" rate down probably about 80% anyhow), and now you're telling me that being confident and secure drops them even further? I'm doomed I tell yah!
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 163
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 9:53:08 PM
Yes, Yes SarahBeth...you have to be confident in the BBW self sufficient and intelligent ways that you already are......but don't let anyone know that I told you that.
Just be the best that you can be for you and your family.

But here's the ironic thing, if you want a man but don't really need one....you should dumb yourself down and come across as needy, while in the company of a man. Men like shet like that, but don't tell any men I told you that. SSSSSSShhhhh, they might be listening to us. We need to keep this our little secret.
 SunnyDazical
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 164
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 10:20:27 PM
If men are drawn to needy women....then I can't get why I can't find a guy to fix my dayum sprinklers..I need them fixed!!

slow drip,
Sunny
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 165
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/16/2011 11:47:43 PM
A larger percentage of western females are raised with a morale that they should for reasons of honor and social good help a lesser person who needs help. In this case you are referring to men who seem innocent and in need on the surface, but generally are energy vampires once you peel back the layers of the onion.

That kind of man is a creation of a society that still tries to promote a male role for men that says "needy" is somehow good or romantic. Anxiety or illogical emotional behavioral is what drives men who suffer from what psychologists coin "distorted thinking". These are men who are drawn to drama, and create it when it is not there.

Women need to learn that such men cannot be saved.
 icboobs
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 166
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:20:19 AM
My ex was somewhat needy in that giving her things and doing things for her earned me brownie points, but I was perfectly fine with that because it stroked my ego to know that someone appreciated me and looked to me for benefits, guidance, and support. I also had a friend who always confided in me about relationship problems, and that made me feel important and trusted. On the other hand, I met an older woman who seemed to be very inexperienced and a slow learner, and she was always asking for my assitance. I found this annoying. So personally, I think that many needy women are a turn off, unless there exists a chemistry between us and I don't feel like I'm wasting my time by giving them a helping hand. The simple answer to your question is "no". I am not attracted to "needy women". I can't speak for other men.
 TheColdTruth
Joined: 6/10/2010
Msg: 167
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:32:49 AM
Men enjoy needy women when they're new, because it gives them a function as part of their life.

Once men have secured a relationship with a needy woman, the only way to continue the same excitement is for the man to have a permanent inferiority complex, otherwise the chick just becomes a bleating burden.
 icboobs
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 168
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:50:12 AM
Wow you are a genius with words. I like your name too.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 169
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 7:17:25 AM
it's good to feel wanted but needy, it's a too much off the top. Regardless of gender space is needed.
 singleuseful
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 170
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:34:06 AM
re,When a person is emotionally healthy themselves they will not try to 'fix' people but rather allow that person to learn and grow on their own. They also will not seek out those 'needy' people to prey on nor will they fall prey to emotionally 'needy' people who can not stand on their own because in the end they know that individual will only 'suck them dry' and the relationship will end up shipwrecked.


Learned that again recently ,o well ,emotion is emotion but the truth will prevail for those who learn to be aware :)
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 171
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:40:37 AM

then I can't get why I can't find a guy to fix my dayum sprinklers..I need them fixed!!


Try telling a handy guy you like that you will fix HIS, if he will come over and fix yours...
 mr.nike
Joined: 6/6/2011
Msg: 172
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:00:09 PM
Because those guys can relate too her.Why? there needy also.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 173
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Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:23:52 PM
I dunno. I’ve never thought of myself as needy, though there are the occasional things I need help with - specifically, getting a ride once in awhile, since I can’t drive anymore.

OTOH, I’ve gotten unsolicited rants from men (on other sites) berating me for wasting their time, since I didn’t need anyone. They never seemed to understand that there’s a difference between need and want - and while I don’t need anyone to make my life complete, life can be much more enjoyable with the right person to share it, and that’s what I want.

Speaking for myself, I wouldn’t want a man who was attracted to needy women. I’d just be a disappointment to him, and he’d probably drive me crazy wanting to do things for me constantly.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 174
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:38:37 PM

Because those guys can relate too her.Why? there needy also.


I think your right! Needy men are attracted to needy women and Independent men are attracted to independent women.

So, if your a confident and independent woman.........don't waste your time or any of your efforts on needy men. It's as simple as that.

The other thing is........you don't need to voice that you are independent because a truly independent man will already know that, and likewise for an independent man.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 175
Are men really attracted to needy women?
Posted: 6/17/2011 2:59:42 PM

And some "popcorn box psychologists" just don't like it when somebody thinks differently than they do. Of course, that's how they justify their existence and their jobs......by coming up with some new catchy phrase or mysterious thought process that is different from their own.


And some needy people sling insults and belittling comments in the supposed disguise of humour, when clear insult and mud slinging was the intention. That does not provide debate. It merely turns away intelligent and educated people from putting their two cents in on these threads, since those people know you are posed on the edge of your seat waiting to form snide counter attacks.

Is there a reason that you are so "needy" of tormenting or insulting others that you cannot indeed be civil? Your language is typical of needy women and their circular arguments that solve nothing.



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