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 icreatefun
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 167
I wish men would understand this...Page 3 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

so, JUDGEME still givin out gold stars
(may have just gotten mine 'yanked' heehee)


Yes, suckafish you have gotten a gold star for every post you have made.


if ANY have NOT read zee 'FREUD' story(love at first sight)
in 'judgeme' profile?
please DO-tis WONDERFUL!


Thank you. I think that it goes to the heart of the best of relationships...friends and lovers...I have experienced it a few times in my long life and look forward to a time that I might again.

As I have written in the past...in short...on some level all women are afraid of men. There is a scene in The Silence of the Lambs...where Clarice Starling goes to the first autopsy...she is surround by men and has to work her way through the crowded room of 'fellow' officers. The close ups of the men's faces and of the fear in her eyes as she makes her way through is priceless as to our topic.

As for fear and bravery, If you are not afraid than there is no bravery; if you are afraid and overcome your fear, than you are brave.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 169
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 4/21/2006 8:12:23 AM
oh, i thought this thread was about violence against women, not being "played"? and violence against women happens all the time... look at the stats. it is a legitimate concern.
 kamikazekate
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 172
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 4/21/2006 11:44:19 AM
SUCKAFISH,

I got your poem, even though others did not.

Some people just like to complain. They complain in their profiles, sound bitter and angry and suspicious, and then wonder why nobody wants to date them. Or they post in the forums and attack other people and complain and whine some more. These postings are featured on their profiles for all to read.

Women should be careful. Men should be careful. Often for different reasons.

What we put out there is what we are going to get back. If we believe we're a victim, then we will be victimized. If we believe we will be cheated, we are going to be cheated. If we are angry and bitter, happy and cheerful souls will not be attracted!
 kamikazekate
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 173
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 4/21/2006 11:57:56 AM
horny one,

Didn't mean that and you know it!
 GoldenTiger
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 179
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 4/27/2006 9:29:47 AM
Sorry whenandwhere but i have to disagree with you....sure it's been said a MILLION times...but it's true....if you're soooo damned scared/paranoid of getting raped and killed etc by strangers wtf are you doing on an ONLINE DATING SITE where EVERYONE is pretty much a stranger ? seriously are people like that EVER going to actually meet in person ? or are they gonna be another one of those people that talks to people but then when the subject of meeting comes up they use the " i don't want to meet you because i don't 'know you well enough yet' " line yet they've been talkin to someone for months...isn't it kind of self defeating ? of COURSE women AND men need to be safe on these things....but theres a point when you're TOO safe and you end up just thinking of the worst case scenario and you freak yourself out....mabey you made a comment earlier that said "women want guys who aren't all about getting to know us right away"....or something to that effect....ummm...isn't that EXACTLY what women want when they talk to people off here ?
 icreatefun
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 184
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 4/29/2006 7:19:49 AM
Overall, I think most of us men get it. May not show it but we get it. There is a lot of great advice here if you take the time to be open to it.

My advice to both male and female...is to trust your instincts, set with your back against the wall and always, always order beer in a bottle...makes a hell of a weapon if needed.

Personally, I just cry and whimper a lot and if that doesn't work, I throw up on them....works for me.

Take care of yourself and the ones you love. That's all you need to know.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 187
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:32:49 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WOMEN HAVE REASONS TO BE AFRAID.

ever read the statistics on rape?

perhaps you ought to inform yourself about the reality of crimes committed against women's bodies before you go saying assanine things like you just said?

just a suggestion...
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 189
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:43:17 PM
no point trying to talk to any man who will not even start by admitting that rape is a serious social problem, not only in north america but throughout the world, and that women have legitimate fears.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 191
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:38:36 AM
so it translates to 262,800 rapes in one year.


oh right, of course! that's NOTHING.

why oh why did i never see before that there is no problem and no reason for me to be concerned about rape when there are ONLY two hundred and sixty three thousand rapes every year!!!!

thank you for enlightening me about how rape is just nonsense trumped up by a bunch of men hating feminists with axes to grind!!!!

thank you SO much, pheweweweweeeeeeeee!!!! i feel ten thousand percent better.

 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 192
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:43:15 AM
in fact, let's toss in

domestic abuse -- nonsense!!!!

sexual harassment -- utter crap!!!!

sexual molestation -- boloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

DATE RAPE -- utter nonsense, i mean don't these women know how to just say YES????!!!!



why would any man think he would be attractive to women on a singles site when he cannot even admit to the issues women must rightfully be concerned about? bad move, boys, very bad. i would not even have a conversation much less a glass of wine with a man who won't admit that rape is a social problem. there is no point in talking to him... personally i LOVE men, can't live without 'em, most men are smart and responsible and realistic and don't have axes to grind themselves -- but some of the men on this thread? this is the small minority of men in denial who are to be avoided like the plague.

all the OP of this thread started out by suggesting was the following: "Men simply don't understand the perspective women bring to the whole dating process." and she has been proven positively correct in her assertion.

ps: and no, majestic, that is precisely what you suggested, precisely...re-read your post, sir.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 193
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:26:12 AM
majestic, here is an example of being clueless about how rape happens:


If women exercise common sense and good judgement they have no reason to fear men.


nope, women exercising common sense and good judgment get raped every day, in fact, every two minutes. most rapes are committed by a man the woman knows personally: an uncle, mom's loser boyfriend, a co-worker, someone who waits on her at the diner or bar, et cetera. very often rape occurs in a situation in which the woman has a sense of security about the man she is with and NO reason to suspect and no way of predicting that she is about to get raped.

people who abuse others are very very very good at it, they know exactly what to do and say in order to get their next victim to trust them.

i don't know about other people, but i think men who are on the dating scene ought to inform themselves more about rape and about the legitimate security issues women face.

'nuf said.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 194
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Posted: 5/6/2006 9:48:36 AM
EXACTLY, muffy, exactly.

and it has happened to me in recent times, when a guy interpreted something i said or did completely wrongly and in his own favor (not in the context of sex, just stuff, how i feel, or what i want, etc). and how do you tell someone -- "no, you completely misread me just then". it's really weird when that happens.
 terry44030
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 205
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 2:29:55 PM
OK ladies......please explain to us guys WHY you are in a dating site (except for those of you that are here only for the forums), if you're too paranoid to venture out of your private little bubble and actually meet anyone? I've read all about statistics concerning rape, beatings, murders, etc. So, if you're that fearful, why are you here?
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 207
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Posted: 5/6/2006 2:45:59 PM
yea, we've gone way off topic.

to the poster before the last one, read our posts, why dontcha?

we ARE getting out there and meeting guys. WHY? because not all men are rapists, obviously, and because we'd like to have love in our lives. we are ALSO concerned about the risk of violence against women. and we'd prefer NOT to have rape in our lives.

is this really SOOO hard to comprehend?

why so much denial on the part of many of the men participating in this thread?

my lord, we have gone from the sublime to the ridiculous and ALL the original poster asked was "WHY DON'T MORE MEN UNDERSTAND THIS????"

zigackly, op! and they have proven themselves worthy of the question!!!! :-(
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 208
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 2:59:05 PM
Just my opinion, but there is a fine line between caution/common sense and being paranoid. If the OP is as fearful as it appears in her posting, it probably isn't the time for her to be meeting anyone. It just seems to me (via her posts) that there is an unusual fear of being the victim of a number of criminal acts. We are all at risk (women and men) of being victimized, but being preoccupied and consumed with "what if" thinking is usually a sign of a deeper issue. Again, just my opinion!!
 Amethyst14
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 210
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 3:21:30 PM
This is rediculous...your here on a dating site hoping to meet someone?? How is that done if your scared shit...makes no sense unless your on here because your bored??

The statistics on rape for both female and male are high..men at one time never reported this crime to authorities so there is no actual percentage..I think even today men don't report this..but according to the world's population this is a small percentage...BUT does not mean all of us don't have to worry about it...

If your on a dating site such as this..I feel we all need to protect ourselves and not sit home and worry...You always meet the person in an open very well populated area...and not just the 1 or 2nd date...you continue to do this until you really get to know the person...get to know his or her family..kids or whatever...you don't take chances...as for going to their house early in the relationship...HELL NO... what are you thinking..you don't put your self in any closed environment without other's there...No one is going to protect you other then yourself...you need to be smart and one step ahead of the game....then you will not become a statistic....
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 211
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 3:23:18 PM
east eddie, great post.

verygreen, i am not sure why you're talking about paranoia and obsessiveness? the Op's opening post was not reflecting anything like that, and she's obv. out there meeting people. i have had a whole bunch of dates since i joined POF and haven't been worried about violence on a single one of them.

but that does not mean that women don't have legitimate concerns and that men shouldn't be more aware of and sensitive about those issues than many of them seem to be. this thread has, in my view, shown up the validity of the OP's opening posting.

gotta go because i have another date with a guy i'm certain isn't a rapist.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 212
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 3:34:57 PM

verygreen, i am not sure why you're talking about paranoia and obsessiveness? the Op's opening post


I was not referring to her original post, I specifically referred to her postS throughout this thread. Like you ~ I am entitled to my opinion.
 Amethyst14
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 213
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 3:40:24 PM
I'm very much a lady golden..a very respected one at that!!! yes things have changed over the years...things are much more open then they were years ago back in your time..lol..sorry bout that..you guys have to understand that times have changed and we change with them..and as you grow older and become much more mature these things cease...they are phases which I'm sure everyone has gone through...

You think us woman should clean up our acts?? why?? only to be played by gamers on here..I think the men on here should clean up their acts and stop lying to us woman..most men don't even put a pic on here..now that's suspicious to me....

I say be yourself...if you talk like a truckdriver then you will find one that suits you...if your a lady then you will find a gentlemen!! whatever you are there is someone for you!! No one should judge anyone but the big guy!!!

as for the girls gone wild video's..where are they held?? oh hell I'm too old for that... gravity set in ...

Oh yeah..I'm spiritual not religious!! that's my choice!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 215
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 5:51:29 PM

I wish women would understand: We live in an age of "Girls" gone Wild" vidios. Extreme porn all over the place. Television, movies, magizines, the internet and much more. Look to those people making money making women look lower than dirt. It is sad to see how some very pretty young girls, women, are into this racket. I am against "Porn" in any way, shape or form. I can remember when not even the bigest drunk male would use a four letter word in front of a woman. Afraid a man would come to the resque of their honer. So, what ever hapened to honer in a lady? What ever happened to ladies? Where can you find one? You see the profiles of women who are non-religious, "new age" spritual but not religious, etc, etc I am not trying to through the blaim on women. But listen to yourselves some time. Yes, girls had to protect their "reputaion" at one time. Gee, now what could that mean? Many men go by what they see, and hear out of a woman.


OH MY!! Can everyone say: Overgeneralizing? If you read the posts here, you encountered many LADIES. To insinuate that they don't exist here is not only rude ~ it's one of the least true assumptions I have seen in these forums. As far as "new age" or "spiritual," it appears Sir, that you are fearful of ideas not similar to your own. Yes, women did have to protect their reputations, and the men were allowed to locker room talk at will, the original double-standard.


I would say, clean up your act ladies. Men, think of a woman a lady, untill they show differant. In other words, clean up YOUR act.


Unbelievable. You write hateful things about women, and yet you think WE should clean up our act ~ ARGH!!! If we are all so distasteful to you, you may want to rethink being on a dating site. Personally, I see bright, articulate, funny, sensitive and engaging women here, you obviously see something different. What a shame for you ~
 terry44030
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 216
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:08:41 PM
WooHoo!! Some women understand the position that most of us guys here are taking. I offer my sincere thanks (and appreciation) to lux interior, nyprincess and verygreeneyes for their understanding. Also merf, you really need to read the original post and all subsequent postings by her, in order to understand what the rest of us are talking about.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 217
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Posted: 5/6/2006 8:13:35 PM
I was not referring to her original post, I specifically referred to her postS throughout this thread. Like you ~ I am entitled to my opinion


um, doesn't answer the question.

i was asking: where is there evidence of obsessiveness or paranoia in anything a person on this thread has said in defense of women's legitimate concerns? i don't see it. certainly the OP is not paranoid. certainly i am not. in fact no one who has tried to say that this question is legitimate has displayed anything like paranoia. nobody has sounded freaked out or obsessive, nobody has been talking about hating men or feeling that all men are bad and violent. nothing like that at all.

but...you know, never mind.

new topic:

an observation: so now this thread has turned into a celebratory party in which everybody's slapping themselves on the backs congratulating each other for downplaying the importance of violence against women and women's legitimate concerns about it in the context of online dating?

great.

why can't this OP ask a completely legitimate question and expect to see a legitimate dialogue in response to it? why is it not possible to have a DIALOGUE about women's genuine concerns without men becoming defensive, doing everything they can to downplay those issues and trying to turn the topic so that it becomes about them?

that's what i wanna know...

some guy said "oh finally somebody on this thread understands how the men feel about this" -- well you know what guys, this thread wasn't ABOUT how MEN feel.

it was SUPPOSED to be about how WOMEN feel...and about how men ought to work harder to understand how we feel... but never mind never mind never mind...

 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 218
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Posted: 5/6/2006 8:43:21 PM
well, lux, that surely is how it seems to me -- ok?

and no, i am not usually either ridiculous or a teller of lies.

of course i am not talking about ALL the posts, but -- that ought to be obvious.

take your own advice love and READ these posts, okay?

have a wonderful night!
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 220
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:12:05 PM
I agree with Majestic. The OP was WAY over the edge. There is cautious and street smart and then there is outright paranoia.

Honestly, I have never been concerned for my personal safety when I meet someone...and that is because I use COMMON SENSE. I meet in a public place during daylight, I don't consume alcohol and I have my own transportation home.
 keithb107
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 221
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:27:24 PM
What a lame and ignorant comment that was! There is nothing wrong with buying flowers or whatever for someone when you first meet. That is called being a gentleman. Guess you have no clue about being one, right???
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