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 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 222
I wish men would understand this...Page 4 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/6/2006 935 PM
I was not referring to her original post, I specifically referred to her postS throughout this thread. Like you ~ I am entitled to my opinion


um, doesn't answer the question.

i was asking: where is there evidence of obsessiveness or paranoia in anything a person on this thread has said in defense of women's legitimate concerns? i don't see it. certainly the OP is not paranoid. certainly i am not. in fact no one who has tried to say that this question is legitimate has displayed anything like paranoia. nobody has sounded freaked out or obsessive, nobody has been talking about hating men or feeling that all men are bad and violent. nothing like that at all.


OMFG~The only reference to obsession has been your reference to obsession. Please re-read my posts and feel free to enlighten me. I personally did not make one comment about obsession. You seem obsessed with obsession.

Yes, the OP seems paranoid to me. That is MY opinion. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there ~ likewise, just because I DO see it doesn't mean it's there. The only person sounding freaked out and obsessive here is you. GEZZZZ....then you jump into man-hating ~ what in the hell ?????

Let me type slower ~ the OP has some very specific fears. She openly brought them up in Post #1. Then she completely went off on another poster ~ which was odd at best. And then her posts throughout this thread indicate a very fearful person. MY OPINION was/is this: (in very simple form) someone who is that fearful of men/people ~ might want to re-think meeting people. If something is that scary ~ she probably shouldn't be putting herself in such stressful situations. (See, no obsession.)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 223
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/7/2006 11:18:21 AM

some guy said "oh finally somebody on this thread understands how the men feel about this" -- well you know what guys, this thread wasn't ABOUT how MEN feel.


I didn't see a disclaimer when I came into this thread "Men need not respond, I'm only interested in female opinions." Maybe I missed something ???? Being that this post is primarily about men, I would think their opinions are not only important, but should be a focal point ~ since it is the men the OP is referring to in her first post. When I re-read this entire thread, I got the impression that not only are MOST people concerned about criminal acts that can potentially occur, MOST know what precautions to take to avoid such situations. The reality is: women are at risk of being a victim of a violent crime, and so are the men. Men also run the risk of being falsely accused (women are less likely to be falsely accused of a violent crime.) So, there is risk for everyone. That is what I'm getting from this post ~ the only observation I have is this: if you aren't happy with the discussion in this thread, there are dozens of others to choose from. This topic seems to make you quite unhappy ~ maybe it isn't the place for you at this point in time. Again, just my obsession.....errrrr....observation.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 224
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/7/2006 10:33:55 PM
I helped raise my ex wife’s two daughters from 5&7 to the wonderful young adult ladies they are now 25&27. I 100% understand the female safety issue and would always go overboard to help the female feel safe - she deserves nothing less.

BTW - I am still “dad” to both of them - I must have done something right
 Billbug
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 226
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/7/2006 11:28:47 PM
Don't you all just love a good debate?
 butler1962
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 227
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:45:09 AM
I must say your comming off a bit to strong. life is to short to worry about things like that. we all take risks everyday you could be killed in a car today who knows. just my two cents.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 228
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/8/2006 1:38:19 PM
Golden2100 ~ For such a Godly man, you sure talk about killing people a lot. I wasn't aware that was acceptable under terms of the Bible ??? I am a member of the NRA also, nearly 20 years now ~ but I don't feel the need to hunt down alleged criminals, shot at will, and think I've done my part. That's some pretty extreme dialogue coming out of your keyboard. I hope you never have to go that route, because your computer will get thrown into evidence and you've clearly made plans to exterminate criminals....it would be tough for a defense attorney to do his job.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 229
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/8/2006 5:16:14 PM

Killing is not against the Bible. "Murder" is. For those who are in tone so well. I'm suprised you missed that. Though shalt do no mudrer is the correct term. I am fortunate enouph to have a full copy of the "Masoretic Text, or Textus Receptus, or Received text.
I bought it from the Shepherd's Chapel. You can google their web site. I only paid $125.00 for it and worth every dime. My life is an open book. I protected my family as any man would. Yes, and I'll make that clear. Any person or persons hurting my family should expect me right behind them. The last voise they hear in this world would be mine. You have never heard a "real" Christian talk. I would believe that makes you think all, are panty waists. Real Christians are "can do" people. We are not afraid to fight for our loved ones safty.
Our Government is suposed to do this. You can see what a great job they are doing. Ever heard of a "Kinsmon redeamer"? That is Christian law.
By the way, I don't need a gun. Don't get into that area. Next I'll be hearing how guns kill. People Murder, guns are just their choise of crime.
i would not even care about defence. God is judge, not man. If it is a crime for me to "kill" than I gladly take my place in exacution. But, when those who judged me wrongly meet their maker. It's up to him to set them strait.


OH MY!!! I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It is all in interpretation, apparently!!! And, ummmmm, NO, I don't really think that Christians, on the whole ~ believe that re-writing the scriptures to allow killing, murder, harry carry, going postal, have a bad hair day and wigging out, etc., etc. But, Dude ~ feel free. You are officially killing me right at the moment. YIKES!!!!

OH, and the topic of this thread is I Wish Men Would Understand This ~ not How to Effectively Rewrite the Bible to Fit Ones Own Viewpoint ~ but whatever works for ya!!!
 Billbug
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 230
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/8/2006 5:58:13 PM
Does this thread get any better?? Just as a matter of interest, I always thought the Ten Commandments stated "Thou shalt not Kill". Now I didn't see an addendum saying "Murder". I consider myself a Christian. I would have thought "Kill" means just that...under aANY circumstances. Man gave man the right to kill, not God as far as I am aware. Just my point of view...
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 231
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:18:28 PM
Whew....Billbug, I was beginning to think I had all 10 wrong for the last 35 years. I'm glad someone else remembers the basics in a similar way! Pure craziness, I'm still plagued by his post...I wonder if this is one of those Columbine situations where I'm going to be in trouble for not seeing the warning signs and telling some over-zelous governmental agency what I knew, or didn't know, or thought I might know someday. Simply the strangest stuff I've read in so very long.
 Billbug
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 232
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/8/2006 11:00:22 PM
Well miss verygreeneyez you will be pleased to know that I completely agree with you. Now I am no angel and I haven't always followed God's rules, but I do know what is right from wrong. (I think??) and if I happen to miss something in the rules, then I just know God has a forgiving nature. But then again, none of us are perfect, are we? Still, I endeavour to do the right thing. And man's rules are NOT God's rules, or laws. That I know. We can do things in the name of man, but in the eyes of God they may not be acceptable. I guess we will all find that out someday.....
 terry44030
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 234
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:23:57 AM
Holy Cow! (that's hindu, right?) Now, we've got the NRA gunning for the Bible and the 10 commandments, just because some woman in Florida is too paranoid to meet any of the men from POF. Bunches of the people in this thread need to take their prozac and/or valium and get happy.
 ChicagoStyle
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 237
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/10/2006 7:55:29 AM
I think movies like Psycho(the original) and Derailed with Jennifer Aniston and even Misery by Stephen King show that BOTH men and women should be careful, aware, and in a lot of cases use common sense when meeting someone, especially for the 1st time. Even Derailed showed that women can be just as evil and dangerous as men. She just had alittle help. Some women don't need help from others

I know as a 6' 9" black guy, any women should be caution when meeting me for the 1st time because, she simply doesn't know. I could be as nice as pie, or, I could be alittle "touched", and "if" I were to go off, most women, unless they have a weapon or self-defense training, would be in serious danger if I did.

But, a lot of times, it's a matter of using common sense. No one, man or woman, should meet anyone for the 1st time without talking to them alittle bit 1st to try to get an ideal about them. Remember, people and pictures lie.

I know that the women I have meet or went on a blind date with, I always tell them up front that I prefer to talk a bit via online and on the phone before we decide to meet. A few asked why not meet right away so not to waste eachothers time. I say, there is no time wasted in getting to know someone you might eventually like or want to date. Some have asked where I live. I tell them the area and maybe the cross- streets, but I don't give out my address to people I don't know.

Actually, it seems like I am the one that usually is more caution. It's not a matter of beiing scared or paranoid, it's a matter of being smart and safe.

A few suggestions for BOTH men and women:

1-Meet at a place you feel safe at or a place you know.

2-If possible, tell a friend or family member that you are going to meet whoever. And if you don't tell anyone, leave a note somewhere that can be found with the details of who your metting, time and place, and a number to call.

3-if possible, bring a cell phone.

4-If you donot drive, try to have a way for a friend or brother, sister, etc... to give you a ride home incase you need it.

5-Never go over a strangers house without meeting them out in public acouple of times 1st. And never invite a stranger over to your place without meeting them 1st.

6-use common sense and safe judgement. Remember, nice guys/girls could all be hiding something as well as the ones that are jerks. Everyone is different. A lot of times someone who seems weird or strange might just be nervous.

I for one know that, as big as I am(6' 9"), I could meet someone that's 5' 1" and if she tried to attack me, sure I have a much better chance at winning, but if she pulls out a gun, does size really matter?

Be safe and use Common sense, but donot let your life be ruled by fear.

;ust my $0.02
 Billbug
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 240
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/14/2006 5:50:27 PM
getinmyarms...
"I totally understand.
perhaps we might discuss this further. I get out of prison on the 27th. Pick me up around three, ok? bring duct tape, 25 feet of quarter inch sisal rope and a pint of jack daniels,, o and a carton of ciggs. "



 MeowDude
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 243
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/15/2006 8:31:49 AM
legally carry a handgun, mace, or a stun gun....stop relegating women into some kind of damsel in distress role...i am honest with everyone i meet...if they are thrown off by it so what...that's who i am...not here to pretend to be something i am not....i am on the date for conversation...if i wanted sex then i will see an escort and save the trouble and money of spending it on a date....go to a public place for a meeting....do that a lot until finally you know that this person is not problematic...and please stop whining....you have about 75 years to find this thing called a soul mate and btw life usually stops at 40 or the quality of life goes down a bit...that's when you become more pessimistic and conservative and view youthful adventure as some kind of evil incarnate
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 247
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/31/2006 8:51:13 AM
apropos of all the nonsense on this thread...

check out the thread called "listen or not to your gut" (i think it's in "over 45").

here is a woman who met a guy online and was actually imprisoned in her home by this abusive man. it is good that she admitted what happened. most of the time when a woman is abused in some way by a man -- esp in a dating context -- she doesn't say a word about it, not even to the people closest to her.

any man who refuses to admit the reality of the abuses women experience at the hands of MEN in various contexts (marriage, dating, or as complete strangers) is not worth his salt (or his pepper!). any man worth his salt recognizes that talking about this issue is not a wholesale dismissal of MEN at large, but rather that it is a serious social issue and a real concern for women. and, he ought to ask himself why -- why does he have such a need to deny this obvious reality? if he is not an abuser, why on earth would he not openly discuss this problem, why would he not be concerned about it on behalf of women (yes women -- like his own mother and sisters and daughters and former girlfriends and female friends), why would he struggle so hard to "pretend" that violence and other abuses by men isn't an issue women (specifically) face?

...especially when HE is trying to meet women online...!

i am just wildly disappointed reading this thread... unthinkably disappointed. (good lord, what are abused women to do with so many people in denial about the problem?)

when i teach women's studies courses i always have a bunch of male students -- mostly young. and let me tell you -- those young guys have a far more responsible far more mature far more realistic and and far more sensitive view of these issues than almost every guy who has decided to post to this thread.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 248
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/31/2006 9:14:05 AM
My beef is with men who talk to you once, or not even once; they e-mail you and either give you a phone number, ask for yours or want to meet quickly - in general bad enough, or worse at either your house or theirs. Are they serious asking that type thing? What girl in her right mind would sign off and drive to some strange guys house?

I don't generally want to meet men in person here anyway, but if I did I would never meet anyone without talking to them a while first. Some men have a lot of attitude about us not wanting to do that. I find that to be a real outlandish request myself, but I suspect there are women who must be doing this or men wouldn't be so shocked to get a no reply. What's the deal with that, can anyone tell me?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 249
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 5/31/2006 9:15:47 AM

~True Romance~ ( a LESSER known/appreciated Quinten Terintino flik)
" one thing the last week has taught me...its better to have a gun,not
NEED it-than to NEED one, NOT have it"


Lesser known? That can't be...it had like 99 stars in it....great movie, nice action and of course Brad Pitt as a stoner, gotta love that.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 250
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:51:26 PM

Women's studies. Enough said.


yes, you could use a bit more of it in your life, apparently.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 251
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I wish men would understand this...-My reply.
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:56:32 PM

I do understand this. this is a "thing" I have become aware or more strongly in the past few years. Sorry, it just does not usually come into men's minds the same way. I have worked, travelled, "related" in several countries around the world, and I can see what you are saying. I do not have to power to change any of it however. Alas. I can only relate to my partner in a way that works for both of us. Hoping POF will help me with this. Thanks.
George


hi nobler, yea, i hear you. as men and women we lead (in some ways at least) fundamentally different kinds of lives, which will mean that there are things we don't "naturally" or easily understand about one another's experiences, concerns, "issues" and the like.

fair enough, very fair in fact.

i think what got under my skin in an extremely uncomfortable way on this particular thread on this topic was the combination of denial and defensiveness and even at times sarcasm with regard to the topic, which is a serious social issue.

these kinds of responses make me want to say "yea, that's why THAT guy is on this forum and can't seem to find a gal -- he doesn't even begin to want to understand women." of course i don't say that because it's one of those silly generalizations -- but i was tempted. and that's saying a lot.

thanks for your post, i, for one, appreciated it.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 252
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 6/3/2006 6:31:57 PM
Sorry, I prefer to spend my time doing productive things, not in "how to live as a perpetual victim while blaming men, the patriarchy and everybody but yourself by all your own shortcomings and your crappy life" studies.


see what i mean, y'all? this right here is what i'm talkin about.

yes, yes, simbad, of course, when a woman is physically overpowered by a man and raped, beaten and murdered, or, when a woman has several broken vertebrae two black eyes and a broken arm because her husband was drunk and beat the crap out of her, sure thing -- why doesn't she blame herself? i mean, it's obvious these things are her own fault. '

:-(

stay single, simbad; it is better for women that way.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 257
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:22:00 PM
what is your point, burningman? did anyone claim that there has never been a female criminal in the history of mankind? i think not. the claim was simply that WOMEN ARE AT RISK OF HARM BY MEN -- it does not matter that there happen to have been women who were also criminals, that does not change the fact that the overwhelming majority of crimes are committed by men and the vastly overwhelming majority of crimes AGAINST WOMEN are committed by men.

this is a social issue. this is an issue men need to be aware of and admit to and try to understand women on account of.

why do i bother?

i knew i should never have returned to this thread in the hope that we could actually have an intelligent conversation about the risks and dangers women face vis a vis both known and strange men in their lives...

never mind!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 260
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 6/4/2006 5:18:25 PM
Whoops ... sorry about a double post here! See below!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 261
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I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 6/4/2006 5:18:36 PM
I think the OP makes a good point ... however I have known men ... treated them in the clinic I work in ... who have been severly abused or attacked by women and they had no clue it was about to happen!

There are no guarantees in life ... and we all just need to be careful and protective of ourselves. Unfortunately there is no way of knowing what a partner is capable of ... sometimes even after years and years of a relationship.

We're dealing with the human mind and stable as it may seem most of the time, we all have our fragile states and breakdowns do occur!

 14st NYC
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 262
I wish men would understand this...
Posted: 6/4/2006 6:04:04 PM
Amen theburningman! In addition, lets not forget about all these 40 year OLD women raping little boys left and right. Bottomeline most North American wome are confuse. On weekends I promote night clubs within Chelsea and the MeatPacking District.

You guys will be shocked to see how women throw theselves at men with money...heck she has never met the dude...her a...s is not feeling creeped out!

I guess if you are rich ok, if you are poor then she is feeling creeped out!
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