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 realthing2
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 76
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Awesome Male

The point I was making is not to compromise on your ideals or likes but to determine why those ideals or likes exist. All I am saying is if you keep doing what you are doing you are bound to get the same result. Sometimes we are attracted to what we know not necessarily what is good for us.

I have seen people get involved with alcoholics, abusers, cheaters etc only to get involved with the same type again and again. We are if we so choose ever evolving beings. If we all looked in the mirror more instead of at other people we would find out where the answers lie. You get what you want. Change what you want if you dont like what you are getting.

There will be few people on this forum who trully understand what I am talking about because most of them are no longer on a dating site.
 lackomon
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 77
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/28/2007 1:58:48 PM
I think, we just don't know how to ask? It is so easy, but somehow it is becoming to difficult.

How...?
 Humourous Cowgirl
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 78
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/28/2007 3:10:46 PM
msg. #24 from sweet summer rose. excellent answer. That person could have had a message from someone else and so he was checking it out. Its just a date and on the other hand one should always let the other know if there is or would be a second date. If you're not interested...a short note would be in order.
 aussiegreeneyes
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 79
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:44:14 PM
once again...another one of those mysteries of life
 Calisparkle
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 80
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:23:48 PM
"What I don't understand is why they don't even want to remain friends. It's like if you're not dating material to them, that's it, they're gone."

Because guys want more than friendship with women. I only have one good male friend. All the others are out for more than that and if they can't have it, then it's nothing at all.

It sure would be great to have some guy friends.

:) Cali
 Calisparkle
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 81
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:37:40 PM
"if you don't put out on the first or maybe second date he's not going to ask you for another one. we are in a counyrt where we want ever thing quick and fast to see if we like it including- sex. so quit trying to be so angel-like or morally correct and you probably won't have that problem."

and people wonder how men get labeled as pigs, dogs, etc. Please. and truly no one means ALL men because no one has met ALL men. Maybe ALL men in her experience.

OP, i wonder if one day you'll meet someone and fall in love, and she will treat you, one of her many men, as you probably treat women you date. Yeah, she'll be going out with all kinds of men, and having sex with them on the first and second dates. I'm sure you won't like that so much. Of course, if you are incapable of love and respect, it won't bother you at all.
 rockforrest
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 82
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:48:06 PM
He never got the first date!
 estuk
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 83
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/11/2007 9:20:03 PM
Might have nothing to do with the second date...

It is the way of a great many (especially the British) to not be straight and be covert in their communication about EVERYTHING... (not just dating).javascript:smilie('')
 nemchucks
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 84
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:12:00 PM
I dont know why we do that.Ive done it.I dont know,I just go home after the date and think hmmm,that was that.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 85
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:51:53 PM
Really hard to answer a post that is a year and a half old and the OP doesn't even exist on here anymore.

Have women ever considered they left the man feeling like she didn't want a second date without realizing it?

If a man tries to give you a kiss and you turn away, there will be no second date. You've expressed your disinterest by turning away. The "I'll call you" was just a polite parting statement, one I wouldn't say, I'll tell you I had a great time if I did and I'm glad we got to hang out together. If I didn't I'll just say nice to have met you, goodnight.

Neither of which means I'll call you again, if I want a second date I'll ask if I can call you tomorrow. Most women reply with "Sure I'd like that" and often dont answer when called. Ocassionally I go on second and third dates...

Just because someone doesn't want another date doesn't mean the didn't like you or there's something wrong with you its just not always does someone feel chemistry beyond friends so they dont go out with you again. We all have to deal with it even when we do feel a connection and they don't. Its why so many people are single... we haven't met that "MUTUAL" connection with someone.
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 86
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:23:21 PM
I know the OP is gone, but if she liked the man she should have called him. If she had called/emailed him and he never returned the call/email, then IMO that's rude. I would always respond even if I'm no longer interested. I would be upfront and politely turn her down. Since she never contacted him, then she shouldn't complain about him not contacting her. There are many reasons why a man ( or woman ) wouldn't be interested in another date ranging from the man being too picky and having unrealistic expectations to the woman being completely rude or unattractive.
 welshgirl1
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 87
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:27:05 AM
hi judy [ im a aries girl 2 ] just read ur message meet as i thought i really nice guy about 5 months ago gave him msn chatted 4 hrs over the few nights then meet up just the day had a lovely day out we didnt get up 2 enythink lol he went home again chatted every night msn 2 weks later he came down on a sat 4 the night had a brill time got on like a house on fire seen him the was a spark ther if u know wot i mean. enyway we txt nearly evey day he got on brill with my daughter he tept teling how much he liked me he was a one woman guy he wonted 2 build on somhink special seen him about 7 times evey time wev had a ball really got on then on sunday the 21st chatted till 230 in the morning i went 2 bed told him how much i liked him witch is wot he wonted 2 here iv not heard from him since iv txt him left messages on his msn nowt it took me a whil 2 trust him i started 2 trust him then u bugged off IM HOPEING 2 FIND A REALY GENUINE GUY IF U KNOW ENY PAS THE ALONG LOL YVONNE X
 Amma63
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 88
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:32:50 AM
Because men (and women alike) always seem to think there are 'greener pastures'
 y-baby
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 89
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:42:34 AM
also noticed a trend toward guys expecting me to chase, or pursue them...that will be a cold day in ...LOL!
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 90
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:31:26 AM
If I'm not interested, or if I think she isn't, based on her behavior on the date, I won't be coming back for seconds. That's the only way I'm not looking to go another round.


And men are no more likely to be juggling multiple prospective mates, before they're in a relationship, than women are. In my experience, less likely. Though that is a reflection on me, rather than men in general. Good or bad.
 curiousambition
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 91
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:57:55 AM
Good morning Judy,

Honestly, I wouldn't let it discourage you that much.
What may be a "great" first date for you - may not be for the other person, and that being no fault of your own. All I can suggest to you is that you keep your head up and keep smiling. What you are looking for will eventually come your way!

There are many reasons that people act the way they do - and most of them we cannot justify! Every person has their own reasons. I am a man, but have grown up my whole life around women and out of the friends I have, 80% of them are female. I've seen this happen countless times to "wonderful" women and have seen how much they beat themselves over it. It may be that these people in which you are dating are not interested in the long commitment, or are looking for a particular quality or comparing you to other women of their past... This would be no fault of your own!

I don't stereo-type the whole male race, afterall, I am one. It just might be the type of individuals that you are choosing for your dating experiences. Dating isn't the easiest thing in the world to do... Everyone has an expectation of what they want and what they are looking for. This applies to both men and women...

Just be yourself !!! Be as genuine as you can and people should be attracted to that quality about you!
If not, then they where never worth the time nor consideration, or the reason behind your stress.

There is a multitude of people out there and I believe it deep down that you WILL eventually find that lucky person that cares enough to get to know how wonderful you really are.

I wish you all the best and keep smiling Judy!!

Jason
 parteovahere
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 92
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:05:51 AM
I think the reason could have been because he really wasn't into you and you thought he was enjoying himself when in actuality he could have just been making the best of the situation. Just a thought there are many possible answers to this question.

also I would just like to add that there are differences in the way men and women are attracted to eachother and this can cause misunderstandings from both sides. Mens attraction is usually dominated by looks, where women are more attracted to social status, body language and sort of unseen characteristics.
 Amma63
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 93
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:15:00 AM
I was with you parteovahere, until you said:


where women are more attracted to social status


three hits with a wet noodle for you....................and I'm sorry that you've seem to run into women that make you say that.........................tsk, tsk, tsk on them.
 Texwolf
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 94
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:26:09 PM
ok here goes

Well he was probally expecting some nookie and didnt get any so off fishing for easier fish.

He didnt have a good time and didn't say so and just played along.

After he got home he thought it over didnt have a connection and just moved on.

What ever the case may be move on I see women asking about this all the time. Life is to short to try and second guess every guy that has done this.

P.s.
For the women that have sex on the first date and this happens once the chase is over a lot of dogs lose intrest. And yes men are mostly dogs
 n2art
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 95
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:56:41 PM
Who knows? Ask him? or not. Some men talk some don't. Who freakin" knows? If there were instructions we wouldn't be here.
 Lemon Zest
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 96
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:23:05 PM
Of course it's possible to have a great date with someone and not feel enough chemistry to want to see them again. It happens all the time where you like someone, but it's not that take your breath away, weak in the knees kind of attraction that a lot of people want to experience. It makes sense then to try other new connections than to continue to date someone you're just not feeling that for. It's better not to put too much stock into your first date, just enjoy it and then be pleasantly surprised if there is a request for a second. I wouldn't take it personally, just be available for someone who is going to be as crazy about you as you are about him. One thing I would suggest to guys is not to give a woman false hope that you intend to call her again if you think there's a chance you aren't going to. Just say you had a great time and leave it like that, don't create an expectation that you aren't going to live up to. We women really hate waiting for that call that never comes. . .
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 97
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:18:14 PM
Of course it's possible to have a great date with someone and not feel enough chemistry to want to see them again. It happens all the time where you like someone, but it's not that take your breath away, weak in the knees kind of attraction that a lot of people want to experience.


In this case, I would go on 1-2 more dates with a woman before making any type of a decision. I wouldn't lose interest in a woman simply because there wasn't earth shattering and / or instant chemistry on a first date. For me, it's not always yes or no on the first date. If the first date went reasonably well, then there is a chance that chemistry could develop in future dates when both people know each other better.
 TakeMeTheWayIAm
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 98
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:57:27 PM
People are often just too nice to suggest the reason(s) why they're not really interested. Mostly, it's about chemistry. They didn't feel enough chemistry to make for a good relationship (if that's what they're looking for). And in the case where they're looking for sex they didn't have enough attraction or simply, the sense that you would be willing to do that within some certain time limit in their minds. For the guy looking to merely get laid he wants to put in the least amount of effort in order to have sex.

Sometimes it's about cost. If the guy felt that the evening was expensive and he's the type of guy who thinks "quid pro quo" and there wasn't any kissing or any sense that there would be soon then he'll bail after the first date.

It could be from any number of shallow reasons like your looks, your weight, your boob size, what you wore, almost anything.

It could be that you talked too much or not enough. It could be that he sensed that your politics and his are opposites. You could remind him of an ex. He may have learned something about you that he didn't know before and this is a show-stopper.

You could have complained about his driving. You could have simply complained about the service in the restaurant.

And believe it or not, you might not have texted him the next day to suggest that you had a good time and to thank him for the dinner that he paid for. He might have taken this as your sign that you weren't interested and then decided to keep fishing.

I'm mostly trying to guess at the reasons why somebody wouldn't follow up after what you thought was a successful date. :: shrugs ::
 GeminiMan66
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 99
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:18:30 AM

What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?


^^^^^ When his first date fails to show up
 Deni31
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 100
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:10:50 AM
One of life's great mysteries! The answer I come back to is- he's just not that into me- when they don't call or are inconsistent. People who are "into you" show it and you know it. They make another date immediately, call you the next day and don't bother to play games.

Dating is sooooo not worth it, until it is I suppose.
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