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 curiousambition
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 91
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?Page 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Good morning Judy,

Honestly, I wouldn't let it discourage you that much.
What may be a "great" first date for you - may not be for the other person, and that being no fault of your own. All I can suggest to you is that you keep your head up and keep smiling. What you are looking for will eventually come your way!

There are many reasons that people act the way they do - and most of them we cannot justify! Every person has their own reasons. I am a man, but have grown up my whole life around women and out of the friends I have, 80% of them are female. I've seen this happen countless times to "wonderful" women and have seen how much they beat themselves over it. It may be that these people in which you are dating are not interested in the long commitment, or are looking for a particular quality or comparing you to other women of their past... This would be no fault of your own!

I don't stereo-type the whole male race, afterall, I am one. It just might be the type of individuals that you are choosing for your dating experiences. Dating isn't the easiest thing in the world to do... Everyone has an expectation of what they want and what they are looking for. This applies to both men and women...

Just be yourself !!! Be as genuine as you can and people should be attracted to that quality about you!
If not, then they where never worth the time nor consideration, or the reason behind your stress.

There is a multitude of people out there and I believe it deep down that you WILL eventually find that lucky person that cares enough to get to know how wonderful you really are.

I wish you all the best and keep smiling Judy!!

Jason
 parteovahere
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 92
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:05:51 AM
I think the reason could have been because he really wasn't into you and you thought he was enjoying himself when in actuality he could have just been making the best of the situation. Just a thought there are many possible answers to this question.

also I would just like to add that there are differences in the way men and women are attracted to eachother and this can cause misunderstandings from both sides. Mens attraction is usually dominated by looks, where women are more attracted to social status, body language and sort of unseen characteristics.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 97
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:18:14 PM
Of course it's possible to have a great date with someone and not feel enough chemistry to want to see them again. It happens all the time where you like someone, but it's not that take your breath away, weak in the knees kind of attraction that a lot of people want to experience.


In this case, I would go on 1-2 more dates with a woman before making any type of a decision. I wouldn't lose interest in a woman simply because there wasn't earth shattering and / or instant chemistry on a first date. For me, it's not always yes or no on the first date. If the first date went reasonably well, then there is a chance that chemistry could develop in future dates when both people know each other better.
 Healthieguy
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 101
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:40:36 AM
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date, many of you come with an agenda or expectations that normally turns a guy off. Sometimes you are way to competitive trying to show how great you are and that you can compete with any man, no guy wants to hear that. Failure to give a guy some signs that you are interested, instead of being honest and forthright, tell guy you are interested isn't this a part of sharing equally. Too much makeup and acting too prissy.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 107
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 12/12/2008 10:12:31 AM
sometimes you get fooled. you think the girl is someone who you will be proud to be with and she turns out trashy.
 White_Scorpion
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 110
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 12/12/2008 3:06:19 PM
For me, I look for interest beyond a hot body and good conversation.

As a man, I can usually determine those two things before ever meeting.

What would keep me from asking for a second date is a perceived lack of interest on her part or a failure to express basic affection and interest in me as a man.
 discrete_contact
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 111
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 12/12/2008 9:04:44 PM
This proves again and again how hard is for many guys to keep up with a behaviour which is not specific for them on a daily basis. Yes sometimes guys can be nice, tell bedtime stories and tickle women personalities. And what a great date it was !!!! Waaaw. Next day --> go back to default. Learned anything from it? Nah....
Make me laugh, make me laugh, communicate, make me laugh, communicate, make me laugh.....f.ck I am out of breath.

Haha I am so happy !!
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 121
What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 12/30/2008 3:39:40 PM
it is not enough to be "nice"...you and everyone else...you have to be nice plus..what else do have to show them..i come dressed to kill...i could get arrested for the way i dress...but that's just me..my point is pump up the volume, woman.
 LuvsLaughs
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 124
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:19:24 PM
yeah... does it take that much time to say....you know..." I had a great time.. but there's just no chemistry for me... Best wishes on your search! " ??? I swear I won't cry and stalk him.... I have better things to do too.
 Perigee123
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 125
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What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:08:01 PM
heh. It's kinda like all those unresponded-to emails, LuvsLaughs; "It's a waste of time."

Online manners slide into RL, once its back online.

As to the whys - I can only speak from my experience.

What Appears to be a great date isn't necessarily. I've done time playing genial talk-show host while waiting for my date to express any interest in what I like, what I think: if I'm not being talked to - only responded to - I'm not interested in that kind of unilateral work. Jay Leno gets paid to do effortless interviews.

If the conversation can't take on some kind of life out of first gear, well, that's telling too. The interviewee might think that an exchange like this is successful -

"So... you said you like Coen Brothers films; what did you think about "Hudsucker Proxy?"
"It was Ok; it wasn't my favorite, though..."
(Why not? What was? What did I think of it? Dead space.... ask something else, Jay...)
"Which was your favorite?"
"I Loved "The Big Lebowski" - The dude abides, man - it was so funny!
(What did you like about it? How did I like it? Some comment about Jeff Bridges..? Dead space again. Ask something else, Jay..)
I know what you mean; that Jeff Bridges - I love a lot of his stuff. One of my favorite films is "The Fisher King."
(Blank Stare.) "I've never seen it...."
(What's it about? Why did I like it? Helloooo? )

After I get home and use brillo to crape the frozen smile off my face, I immediately look to see what I missed on Telemundo or HSN that I would have enjoyed more.

And, since this post has gone too long already, I'll leave you with that as only a single example.
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