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 Marvelicious
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 47
Dating multiple womenPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I am in complete agreement! If you think there is potential and you're investing time. . .geeze who wants or needs more than one?? If it turns out to not be what you were looking for then end it and look again.
 Mountin bareback
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 48
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:12:02 AM
I'm in total agreement with Sum1reel's initial post.


I dated several women on here and winnowed them down to one I plan on being exclusive with. If I went with the first girl I dated from here, I would not have met or gotten to know the other that I hope will eventually go further.


I didn't get intimate with any of the women I dated on here (much to one's insistance and eventual dismay), but went to work on see how many different levels we connect. All of them were terrific women, but they just weren't for me and I hope I can keep them as friends.
 Sweet Virginia
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 49
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:30:41 AM
If they call you every day and you spend most of your time together and they are still seeing other women after a reasonable amount of time, it's clear that you are the "meantime girl". Who needs that!!?? Time to move on. Especially when they haven't been upfront about it. As always, honesty is the best way to go.
 talldarknpolish
Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 50
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:53:00 AM
In my thirties now, I do not see a point in dating just one person at a time only to find out that they found someone else and never let me know (mainly because they were dating multiple men).

It wasn't like that in my 20s because I was far more idealistic about relationships, 'romance', and women. Which is to say I was less experienced LOL

Like telemarketing, this is a numbers game that nearly everyone seems to wants to end be with someone in a stable relationship instead of doing this everyday:

"Who wants to love me, does anyone want to love me today ... oh, okay ... I'll come back tomorrow". (Mike MacDonald, Canadian Comic).
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 51
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:57:24 AM
The strong will survive the datiing and get just reward, the weak will fall into the pits of mediocrity
 Scarlett63
Joined: 12/6/2005
Msg: 52
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:40:24 AM
Or they'll get the rose.
Scarlett
 ahhhh
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 53
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 9:15:13 AM
I hate when they do that!!!!! Calling me hon or sweetie after just meeting
 ahhhh
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 54
Dating multiple women
Posted: 3/5/2006 9:17:38 AM
I hate sloppy seconds
 CelticHeart27
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 55
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/19/2007 7:15:36 AM
OK, I've read throught this thread, and guess I have to agree with those who say you can date more than one person, so long as sex isn't involved. I would also say not to drag it out too long. If you're not interested, break it off or be friends, if you are, make it exclusive. It makes sense to hang out and get to know people before you get into anything serious, but dragging it out isn't fair to anyone. And 6 months is a bit extreme, don't you think?
That being said, I've messed up! I set out with the intention of taking it slow, not jumping into a relationship, certainly not jumping into bed with the first girl I met. But honestly I've never had enough luck with women to have more than one interested at once, so I have no experience. Short version: I did take that leap. We really just clicked, and we've been having an awesome time. I feel like since I made the leap I should give this girl my full attention, but now I've made a whole bunch of contacts with whom I've been having great conversations and I don't want to have to cut free all the new friends I've made. OK, I guess some people might think I'm hanging on in case things don't work out. I dunno, maybe there's some truth in that. I just don't know. There are a bunch of great girls out there that I'm gonna lose the chance to know! What do I do?
 CelticHeart27
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 56
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/19/2007 10:29:12 AM
Never mind, I think I've figured it out!
 sweetiepi
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 57
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/19/2007 1:17:53 PM
I feel yucky seeing multiple people at once, at least in a romantic setting. If I am having sex with someone (even if it isnt a monogamous thing on his part, or it is just "casual sex") I won't be having sex with anyone else.

I don't need to rush into things, but seeing multiple people at once just adds too much unwanted craziness to my life.
 Allritenow
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 58
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/19/2007 4:01:31 PM
Dating several folks is great for those who have the time. Some of us don't have time to date many different people, unless I see each guy maybe once a month.

I've done it but its hard because guy A calls all the time and wants me to spend my time with him, guy B seems interested in getting some but he's cool too, guy C calls some but I can't fit him in because of A's persistence, although I try.

:) Its a juggle I have a hard time with and choose not to do.
 rainbowronny
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 59
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/19/2007 4:14:06 PM
sum1reel

I guess, it depends also on what people call players or users, I think they mean people who are having sex with everyone they meet on their dates while others are truly meeting people and getting to know them without the intimacy.

I think that it is ok to date different people as long as it is mutual and there is no intimacy involved. Now, that having been said, keeping it without intimacy can be difficult. Then the people that you have been dating could be upset when you get around to telling them they arent the ones for you. It is a hard line between the ethics on this question, for both men and women. Good luck to all of you in your decisions on what u will do. And if you cant be good, be careful!! LOL
 tinydancer123
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 60
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/19/2007 5:36:12 PM
I'm not sure I share this theory that if you meet the right one you know straight away. I know I could meet someone and still keep on dating other guys. Not sleeping around, just dating but I know that I'd circle back to the guy that I like the best in time. I could date half a dozen guys in a few months and then slowly realise which one is best for me. I think rushing is off-putting.

When I commit to someone there's no way I'm going to just bail for a weak reason later so I want to take my time and choose the right one by getting to know him. I don't want to see him and talk to him every day or even a few nights a week. I want to go out with him and have a great time and then digest what happened. I won't rearrange my life around someone I just met. I want to see through the madness that is infatuation to clearly assess if this guy is good for me and if something keeps attracting me back to him and he's still there when I do then he's the one for me. If he can't be patient and allow me my freedom while we are just dating I don't think Id want to be married to him.

I don't want to get married in a romantic swoon of overwhelming gut wrenching emotions only to realise lust was blind and now I'm enmeshed in something that is painful. I think if people took their time and remained non committal longer they would have a better chance of a lasting realtionship but that's just how it works for me - everyone is different I suppose.

I know it's hard when you like someone and you don't feel they are "yours". It causes some anxiety but forcing them to be exclusive when you harldy know them is only imposing your anxieties on them which can't be a great way to act in a realtionship. Maybe it's more mature to cope with your feelings on your own and be patient. If you're a match they'll be back.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 4:41:26 AM
If you have multiple possibilities, explore them all. Would you refuse to go on a job interview just because one company agreed to interview you? Of course not! You wouldn't know yet if you wanted to work there - or if they would even make you an offer!

Few people know after a couple of dates if their date is someone they want to see exclusively. If you believe that you can know, then you're probably about to make another poor relationship choice that will end prematurely or badly. Unless you've had many relationships or dated dozens of people, I doubt that you have the experience to choose well, quickly.

I am not advocating becoming intimate with multiple partners - I am advocating exploring the compatibility issues carefully before ruling out good prospects on a whim. It really isn't difficult to keep the individuals distinct.

Perhaps people who are adamantly against dating multiple people are fearful that they won't measure up against the competition, so refuse to compete. Just a theory, but it may generate some interesting rebuttals!
 Markhamgirl
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 62
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:26:12 AM
Hi,
I keep hearing this term "A Player". What exactly is that, please enlighten me. I am being serious here. Thank you.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 63
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:32:46 AM
The problem isn't the men that date multiple women, but the men that tell a woman she is the only one, when that is far from the truth.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 64
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:35:05 AM
They should be upfront about the fact that they see other women.
Getting caught with another woman and saying that you never asked is nearly as bad as actually telling her she is the only one when she isn't.
 fingsuperwoman
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 65
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:07:52 AM
Nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as your are honest with them about the fact they aren't the only one you are seeing.
 vosche
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 66
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:39:22 AM
~pushing her way to the front of the line~


i disagree here .....

what person with any substance is gonna volunteer to be second or third choice for anyone????
i dont care how you spin it, no one is gonna volunteer to be dogged like that.

if you're dating, date the person, not the whole world!

just cause you can something doesnt mean you should!!!

if the person isnt the one for you, then for god sake stop stringing them along! i can guarantee you wouldnt stand for it were you in that person's shoes. why waste thier time and your's when you could be out there looking for the ONE , instead of playing emotional games.
 -lebanese-lion--
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 67
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:46:57 AM

I am glad a lot of guys are opposed to it.

Makes it easier for me. Thanks


yup... thats right OTB....


sorry if it offends you everybody, but if you cant handle dating multiple dating partners, then dont do it. i dont sleep with everyone i date. hell. not any of them really. i prefer to have a trusting and good relationship before i go having sex with someone.

but i will continue dating multiple ladies until i find the right one here LOCALLY!
 Foruminator
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 68
Dating multiple women...I'm 2nd worst guy ,lol
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:50:36 AM
Way cool idea...........what about women and the six week rule......
 Foruminator
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 69
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:56:27 AM
Right , I know of a story...............
 BeachGirlatheart
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 70
Dating multiple women
Posted: 5/20/2007 11:08:23 AM
Honesty is the best. If you are upfront from the beginning it leaves little room for misunderstanding and you get to make the decision if being one of many is what you are willing to accept.

Personally, I concentrate on one person at a time. I have had a weekend where there were two different dates. those were all first meetings. Had something clicked with one of them, then I would be cancelling my other dates. That person that may feel like a potential match is then given my complete attention in order to really get to know them and decide if there is more there to keep persuing.
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