Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 169
How good mother's lose custody todays?Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

who..M(a)y I ask would ever want to get her deleted?

Of course, it wasn't her own behaviour and her repetitive suspensions from the forums that caught up to her... it must have been a man's fault.

hey My I....on a side note..regardless what your Ex wife did or does....it is really a low class move to call the mother of your children a whore.

I didn't... go back and read the post again. Her 3rd husband walked out on her because he felt she was having an affair.... it ends up that guy he suspected who was her lover is now her 4th husband.

^^^^Ughh who is liz?

A gnome who trolled threads

MyI you just accused ohwhynot46 of saying men are responsible for all women's behavior but earlier you said that a woman is guilty by association and responsible for a man's behavior. Isn't there a contradiction there?

I believe I stated she insinuates that women can do what they want, basically, and it's up to men to determine if she's being dishonest or fraudulent.
As well, some women are guilty by association if they choose to ignore the poor behaviour of men (insobriety, drug use, in trouble with the law). Meaning, they'll accept a man's poor behaviour as long as the relationship is in tact.

It only becomes an issue or safety concern for the kids and mother when the man walks away from the relationship and he has visitation rights.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 171
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 10:57:43 AM

Oh shit, I cannot believe I am about to defend MyI.....Oops...I guess I didn't really take your side after all, did I

^^^^I'm shocked..... patterned behaviours never change.

Obviously MyI, you felt that your children were fine living with their mother

I never questioned that. It's an issue of the creeps she started dealing with and dating. As they say, women usually date total opposite personalities as their ex..... it's their way of manipulating their own minds.

I do suspect though that you were so bitter and angry for years (still are judging from the way you post about your ex)

I'm angry that 15 years later her bullshit is still going on.... is she happy in her current marriage? Of course not. She's still living in the past.

So much of what you have posted over the years about your situation indicates that you are anything but a loving, devoted father to your children, in fact you rarely even speak about them.

^^^And you wonder why women lose respect from men.
Unlike you, I keep things most of my life private. Don't judge me based on your inability to keep private things private.

You are the male equivalent of trailer trash in my books......

Big deal.... your book isn't a best seller, if you know what I mean.

You do help with the stereotyping of angry single moms.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 173
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 5:26:14 PM

MyI, talking about our kids is not a bad thing, it is what parents who are proud of their kids do....

I'm very proud of my children especially given the crap they've dealt with in their life. But if you think discussing them on the internet is required as a means to validate my relationship and my capabilities as a father, then all I have to say is that you're starving for attention.

We can get into the philosophical aspect of using children and their personal lives, online, as a means to seek personal attention and self affirmation but I'm not an attention seeker, at their expense.

If I really want to make you appear as an ass for calling me trailer trash, I could expose some very unpleasant things my ex did to our daughters - and continues to do. But that would be exposing my daughter's personal lives... and I'm not about to do that.

What I will share with you is the fact that some of you speak like my ex does; behaves like my ex does; argues likes my ex does. And in the end, like some of you, you let someone dominate you at one point in your life and this internet is a means to fight back.

Contrary to your comments, and others, my daughters are in a safe, protective environment. We can walk through malls together with my daughters placing their head on my shoulder, without shame, because they know they are loved, provided for and protected........ that's all you need to know about my kids.

....talking only about our exes in a bashing way.....now that is a HUGE RED FLAG

Between my ex and her latest husband, they have five children. None of the children live with them. I think an explanation as to why the kids aren't living with them is self explanatory.

In a peculiar way, as I said before regardning some parents in these threads, they claim to be great parents and it's the kids who are all fvcked up.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 174
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 6:28:44 PM

Then pay for a DNA test and a polygraph test to determine if I am lying. Afterall, it's your responsibiility to know what the truth really is.


I have no need, as it matters not to me if you are a liar, and I don't need a DNA test to tell me who the father of my children is; I am 100% certain, thank you. My choices, your choices, anyone's choices are theirs, as are the consequences that might result.

Your assertions are, as always, assumptive, and quite contrary to my posts as well. All PEOPLE should be responsible for their own behavior & choices, and they need deal with the consequences. That is what I firmly believe and have said so, quite clearly.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 175
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 7:55:32 PM
Getting back on topic..... If a woman looses custody she did something wrong!!! It is dang near impossible for a man to get custody if she doesn't.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 176
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 8:02:44 PM
I am sorry, but I disagree. More often than not, a man who seeks custody prevails. Personally, I feel that this is due to the fact that men who seek custody have more money to spend on an attorney. The legal basis, however, for the decision is a preponderance of the evidence to determine who would be the "better" parent. More & more, the courts are listening to the children. The only thing that is "dang near impossible" is to get custody if you don't seek it.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 177
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 8:11:24 PM

I am sorry, but I disagree. More often than not, a man who seeks custody prevails. Personally, I feel that this is due to the fact that men who seek custody have more money to spend on an attorney. The legal basis, however, for the decision is a preponderance of the evidence to determine who would be the "better" parent. More & more, the courts are listening to the children. The only thing that is "dang near impossible" is to get custody if you don't seek it.


The legal standard is what is the best interest for the child. I have been there and won both times.....after I agreed the mothers did not have to help support their children.
So please don't tell me it is easy or a case of who has the most money.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 178
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/24/2010 8:24:57 PM
I never said it was easy, but your post seems to indicate that it is about money. The truth is, when fathers bring action in court in an effort to attain custody of their children, they prevail at least half of the time. The legal standard is agreement of the parties, and in disputed cases, a preponderance of the evidence decides who is better able to care for the children. That less than half of children in single parent homes reside with their dad is a simple fact, although many theories can arise to explain. It is still a fact. There is a difference between custody and custody which has been contested and won. I still say it's about money, to a great extent, as far as losing/gaining disputed custody. That's the way the court is set up.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 180
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 7:22:52 AM
You would probably find a lot more support in this forum if your attitude didn't get in the way....just sayin'

You can't be serious.
There is a difference between getting support (a feel-good kinda thing) and getting the right advice. If you're suggesting I need your support and other virtual personalities' support as a means to remain on the favorites list in these forums, you need to get over yourself (again). I don't need support from people who are quick to b!tch at anyone who disagrees with them. Nor, do I need the support from a pompous ass who keeps referring to their higher education as something I lack. Nor, do I need the support from someone who permits an ex to walk all over them.
Thanks. But, no thanks.
Just because you're a mom that doesn't make you Dr. Phil(lis).

You mean the crap they were forced to endure because you made a decision not to fight to protect your children from what they had to deal with?

I fought.
You're speaking out your ass.

What is self-explanatory MyI is that you left your children in a bad situation and waited until they were old enough to decide to live with you

Some people are willing to make the dumbest assumptions... hence the reason I don't need your support. You'd be supporting the wrong cause.

So this is how you fight back for letting your ex into your life and dominating you, or hurting your children?

^^That's the difference between you and me. You do treat these forums as your battle ground. You're in these forums to prove you're a great mom by going so far as to suggest these forums are a great place to seek support - as long as the support makes you feel good. For me, I'd rather be told the truth as opposed to being told something just to feel good.

You don't like my use of "whore" even though that is exactly what a cheating wife is. Isn't that a control issue on your part? I think so. So, once again, why would I seek support from someone who wants to tell me which manner of speach I must use?

edit:
What benefit do I gain in securing support from a woman who posts this?:
I just don't honestly believe that men are better parents than women
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 183
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 4:00:20 PM

Yeah, keep telling yourself that when you've already said enough in these forums to demonstrate otherwise

If I've "said enough" to demonstrate otherwise, please bring those posts forward. And in keeping with your honest, sincere ways, don't be a hypocrate and pull some of your own strawman crap..... I'll be waiting.

You use that word a lot and not just in reference to wives that cheat

Again, please forward any such post where I use the word whore when not referring to a lying cheater..... I'll be waiting.

You don't convince me or many other people who read your posts

Many other?
Either you're a total whack job or you have your little quarrum (I can probably pinpoint who they are) with whom you assume they represent most other posters' opinions in the thread. I'm focussing on the word "many"

None of my friends in the real world are "yes men/women"

Unless you work with them you have no idea what kind of personal politics they play. It's absolutely foolish to assume you know that about ALL of your friends. That's simply an arrogant conclusion. In fact, from what you've posted in other threads about your abusive ex, you were a "Yes" woman for quite some time. Which also brings to question how you can be so hypocritical by concluding I never put up a fight when, through your own admission, neither did you..... until things went a little too far. I also question your unwavering devotion to your kids during that time.

You are the king of strawman arguments so you might want to look it up on the internet if you don't know

^^Here we go again. Keep suggesting you're a superior intellect if it makes you feel good.

You THINK I am in these forums to prove I'm a great mom.....shows how little you know me.

You can't dispute the fact you do talk alot about yourself and your great skills as a mom.

Sadly MyI, what you have to say about me and many other posters just comes across as personal attacks for the sake of an attack

Let me say this. I used the term whore when referencing a cheating wife. But, in true dramatic fashion, several of you single moms took ownership of my application of "whore". Several of you kept sarcastically referring to yourselves and "All women" as whores. In a previous post I made it abundantly clear that I was not calling any of the female posters a whore...... but some of you women (drama queens) kept referring to yourselves as whores for emphatic purposes.
As a reminder, here is something I posted a while back:

Some women use sex because of an abnormal lack of self esteem and a loss of emotions from years of being abused, molested, neglected. Others use drugs, commit suicide and have severe anger issues because of such abuse. In my opinion, I couldn't justify calling a primiscuous woman a whore because I'm not certain what state of mind she is in and/or what her past history is. It's quite possible we should feel sorry for her.

A mother who cheats an entire family through false claims of paternity may very well be a cause for young girls growing up and using sex to feel accepted, wanted and loved..... all those things the bio-mom (whore) hasn't displayed.

I do understand many things a woman goes through. But I don't understand why some of you women adopt the application of "whore" onto your selves.

Either way, I'm not going to alter my posting style just to make you feel better. For you to expect me to change for you is another sign of a frail, narrow minded woman avenging her years of low self esteem and lack of confidence.

Your need to continuously respond to my posts strongly suggests I am right about your anger issues. You've even taken it upon yourself to speak for others..... hooooraaaay!.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 184
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 4:37:42 PM
MyI, as I've said to you before, you reap what you sow. It is you who started making things personal here, based on stating your assumptions about other posters as if they were facts. You are, in fact, guilty of word twisting, over & over, and you certainly seem to have an agenda. soul is likely the least gender biased, most neutral and fair of the posters here. Saying that one doesn't honestly believe that m,en are better parents than women is not that same as saying that women are better parents. Parenting is not measured by gender alone. Most of us comprehend quite well the statement. Your comprehension, however, seems ever to be skewed toward argument. Give it a rest already!
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 185
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 5:52:52 PM
Give it a rest already!

You may want to consider taking your own advice.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 186
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 6:01:51 PM

It is you who started making things personal here, based on stating your assumptions about other posters as if they were facts.

You are dead wrong.
Read post #229 - my first post in this thread. The closest I came to making it a personal post was this:

There are many women posting that the ex was a drunk, users, angry, a convict and irresponsible

That was a general comment from all of the threads I've read over the years. But a member of the posse' made it personal in the very next post (#230)... and then the rest of the posse joined in.

Your asssessment of me really applies to your posse'

Anything general I say seems to be taken personal (whore, for example)... because of that it does become more personal than it should.

I don't think my image is any less tainted than theirs... but they'll differ on that assessment because they're good mothers and I'm a very bad father... just ask them
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 187
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 6:41:58 PM
I, for one, didn't say that you were a bad father, but that you ought to be a bit more understanding, and a bit less judgmental, given the scenario your own description of your history portrays. Many of us post on the same threads, and are pretty familiar with each other. You are a standout, as far as pointedly directing your comments at the personal situations of other posters, regardless of "post #229".
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 188
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/25/2010 9:54:05 PM
ohwhynot46 you wrote.
Despite what many think, a good mother can lose custody merely by the fact that a father files. So many state that custody automatically goes to a woman, but, from I can glean, when a father files for full custody, more often than not, he prevails. My personal belief is that he likely has more money for an attorney. I have long held the belief that, whether it be divorce or custody dispute, the one with the most cash for a lawyer will prevail, and I have yet to see evidence to the contrary.

I tend to think that bad mothers don't lose custody because the fathers of the children of bad mothers don't often file for full custody. Winning or losing custody is not the same as having custody. The vast majority of custody is not contested, whatever the reason. Lest we forget, the legal basis for determining custody isn't the test of " good" or "bad", for the most part. Let's not make this into something it isn't.


The numbers is not anywhere most of the time. This says less than 10% of fathers get full custody. I myself was very fortunate to get both of mine. I had a few friends that filed for custody and none of them got the children. Many of them have very deep pockets and it did them no good.
This is from a legal website. So the info should be accurate.



CUSTODY FOR FATHERS

Child custody for fathers following a divorce is one of the most important aspects of a dissolving marriage. Throughout history the legal presumptions about child custody for fathers has changed significantly. Before the twentieth century children were regarded as the property of their father. Under common law, child custody for fathers was commonly awarded, as children were considered a father's rightful property. A major shift occurred after this period in history, as family courts came to favor mothers in child custody cases. It was presumed that under normal circumstances, children did better when placed in the sole custody of their mothers.

This paradigm of thought shifted again after experts and lawmakers discovered that custody for fathers was worthy of equal credence. The legal system began to understand that, in many cases, children benefited most from having both parents in their lives growing up. Many family courts still hold the belief, however, that the primary caregiver during a marriage should remain the primary caregiver after a divorce.

As a result of this view on custody for fathers and mothers, moms are still awarded custody in seventy percent of all child custody cases. Joint custody for fathers and mothers is awarded about twenty percent of the time. Family law statistics show that sole custody for fathers is awarded less than ten percent of the time. Statistics from 1991 indicate that forty percent of all child custody cases allowed no custody for fathers, barring them from both visitation and access rights.

Currently, family law judges will award custody rights contingent with the best interest of the children involved. Sole or joint child custody for fathers will be awarded when a judge determined that the child would benefit most from that type of custody arrangement. Joint custody for fathers and mothers allows each parent to share rights and responsibility for the child(ren) as set forth in a parenting plan. A parenting plan will detail the rights of each parent with regards to who will make the major decisions affecting the child, who the child will live with, where the child will spend his/her weekends, holidays, summers, etc, and other legal and physical custody issues.

There are a number of factors that the family court will evaluate to determine custody for fathers and mothers. The family court will often hear the testimony of children at any age, though special discretion is applied when younger children are involved. In addition to the wishes of the child the court will often entertain testimony from a psychologist who has evaluated the child custody case. This expert will base the recommendation on any or all of the following: history of abuse or neglect, past parenting history, household stability, time available to dedicate to raising a child, personal behaviors, and other relevant factors.

Custody for fathers can be an uphill battle when the family court system automatically favors maternal custody rights. To locate a divorce lawyer in your metro area click into your state below.
 lynaudio
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 190
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/26/2010 8:45:16 AM
Post #9 in "full custody and how” thread


<div class="quote">When I walked out on her and moved into my own apartment (eventually), she became the b!tch from hell. She cried the blues and began her rampage to make me out to be someone I was never was. She had male friends wanting to beat me up (for no specific reason). I ignored her and that insenced her more - she needs to drama in order to validate her existence.

In regards to the kids, she created a lot of problems by making unreasonable demands (as was her policy with most people she hated) for me to pay her cash under the table as well as pay the court ordered support payments and buy the kids clothes. It got worse. She kept crying "Broke!!" (we both were but my circumstances don't count - as usual) and kept taking it out on the kids while, at the same time, undergoing breast augmentation, buying a wardrobe to accomodate bigger breasts all in preparation for travelling to the west indies and southern states where there were topless beaches (she showed the kids photos of her at those topless beaches)..... all while collecting social assistance.

The kids had no idea what to think other than to believe mom. So, me being patient, I let her act like an idiot for years knowing darn well her behaviour (karma) was going to slap her in the face eventually..... and it did.

There were too many acts of betrayal by their mom based mostly on the behaviour of her violent, abusive and alcoholic (fourth) husband... whom she supported. It eventually got to the point where the kids walked out on her - just like I did.

We've had it a bit rough in our house because the environment they were raised in with their mom and her other marriages was not good. It's been a work in progress and still is. I'm glad the kids are with me because they now have a safe environment, a protective father and a relationship with an adult that does not involve drug, alcohol use and the violence associated with those kind of a$$holes.

Gee My I, I don’t know where we ever got the idea that you abandoned your children in a less than desirable situation. Maybe you should pick a story and stick with it. Once you post on the internet, it’s out there forever.

And although I don't take the term "whore" personally, I still find your foul mouth offensive and childish.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 191
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/26/2010 5:11:59 PM

Gee My I, I don’t know where we ever got the idea that you abandoned your children in a less than desirable situation. Maybe you should pick a story and stick with it. Once you post on the internet, it’s out there forever

Where does that quote suggest I abandoned the children?
The marriage was miserable. I worked 7 days a week, for the most part, in order to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. My ex did as little as she could do. All she could say was, "You don't understand." In which I believed she simply didn't know how to bullshit well enough.... she has improved immensely in that respect.

The kids lived in an environment where the parents did not get along at all.... someone had to leave. Given the fact she was a stay at home mom, she had the kids. Children's Aide Society was actively involved throughout the years and because there was no violence directed at the kids, they had no legal recourse to hand the kids over to me.

If it was her (a woman) leaving, you'd most likely reply, "I don't blame her."

And although I don't take the term "whore" personally, I still find your foul mouth offensive and childish.

Too fvcking bad about my foul language... it's a trailer trash thing.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 192
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/26/2010 8:20:54 PM

The numbers is not anywhere most of the time. This says less than 10% of fathers get full custody. I myself was very fortunate to get both of mine. I had a few friends that filed for custody and none of them got the children. Many of them have very deep pockets and it did them no good.
This is from a legal website. So the info should be accurate.


As I said, it depends on where you get your numbers from. Less than 10% of men HAVE full custody, but, of those who file for full custody, fathers prevail more than 70% of the time. There is a difference. Also from a legal site: men who are found guilty of (not accused, found guilty of) domestic abuse are likely to seek custody. So? I have many times stated my belief that mere statistics are not proof of anything, even if they are indicative, to an extent. Quantitative accuracy does not equal qualitative accuracy. The qualitative is subjective, no matter how one measures it.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 193
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/28/2010 6:46:26 AM
Wow izzbeth, having a hard time adjusting to hormone injections since the operation much?
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 194
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/28/2010 9:03:03 PM

Less than 10% of men HAVE full custody, but, of those who file for full custody, fathers prevail more than 70% of the time. There is a difference. Also from a legal site: men who are found guilty of (not accused, found guilty of) domestic abuse are likely to seek custody.


Talk is cheap...why not tell us where this legal site is?

Because fathers prevailing 70% of the time is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard.

But i wish it were true....or i wish I had known it as i would have changed my living arrangements 12 years ago...I would have contested or gone to court 8yrs ago....but then I listened to the advice of a couple of lawyers then ad a few since...and they all had much different advice that what you suggest is facts....and I would suggest...your assertions are a load of dung!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 195
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/28/2010 11:10:21 PM
I suppose one could look it up state by state, but nearly all of the states have a "gender bias commission", which has determined (ALL of them, btw) that more than half of men who seek some form of custody, whether full or shared, achieve their goal. The reason that only 10% of father have full custody is due, in part, to the fact that the role of primary caregiver is continued after the dissolution of the relationship, and the majority of men do not dispute this. This an issue where the genders agree, by & large. The men who post here are not indicative of the majority. Most men do NOT seek custody of their children, plain & simple. It doesn't mean that they are bad people, or bad fathers, but it does seem that they hold to the notion that women are better suited to the role. If you disagree, well, I say that your contention, when addressed by the court, will be heard. If you were the parent who took care of the child during the day, fed & bathed them, drove them to their doctors appts. activities, etc., you are very likely to continue in that role. If you weren't you are not likely to suddenly assume that role, and force the child to adapt. Does that not seem fair to you? If a lawyer suggests that you not proceed, I suspect that he/she has ascertained that you were not the primary caregiver prior to breakup of the relationship.

If you have a problem with the notion of primary caregiver as the basis for residence and/or primary custody then argue that, but it is the basis for custody decisions, and more often than not, even today, that role is performed by a woman. I would assume that the men who file for full custody were either primary caregivers or men who can prove that their child's mother is unfit. To be honest, I don't see a problem with that. Lest we not forget, we are not saying that a parent who does not have full custody shouldn't have access to their child(ren). We are talking about full/primary custody.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 196
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/29/2010 6:10:35 AM
I am sorry, but I disagree. ohwhybother.

We get that regardless of whatever we bring to the table.

Somehow you just seem to disregard pretty much everything no matter of its validity.


Most women who lose custody are not good women, it just takes too long for the right people to notice.
Ohwhybother, you've shown time and time again that you have a really tough time showing any empathy at all for kids or men.

Quit apologizing, very empty coming from you.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 199
view profile
History
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/30/2010 7:17:33 AM

ohwhynot, perhaps you are missing the point that Tealwood and others are trying to make....many men don't seek joint physical or primary custody because they are strongly advised against it by the attorneys. That will skew the numbers/stats that you are looking at.


soul, you are, as ever, the mediator. I am not missing the point, but the delivery of such is a complete turn off, and I react, I even enjoy seeing the view "rise to the occasion" & showing their true nature. Forgive me.


The argument that you make about primary caregiver prior to / following dissolution of a relationship retaining that role is valid IMO when one is considering what is best for the children. At a time of so much change, maintaining some consistency for them is important and ensuring they still receive the same level of care post breakup as they did pre breakup can achieve that.


The role of primary caregiver is the basis upon which attorneys will advise men against seeking full custody. Notably left out was the part of the atty./client discussion where these parents were asked "who brings the kids to school?"; who makes them breakfast?"; "who changes their diapers?"; "who takes them to the dr?" Those things DO matter, when we talk about custody, regardless of why it was that one parent more than the other performed the parental duties. That a change in the parenting roles is necessary is not on the government, it is on parents, and I do believe that we are seeing it. It is a good thing, and is evidenced in the increase in shared custody. If you love your kids, be involved in their care, both before & after a relationship with the other parent ends.


Perhaps the issue for men who want to make the change lies in how they participate in their children's lives before a breakup occurs. Where is it written that women have to be the primary caregiver anyway? I know I did get annoyed at times with my daughter's father because he just assumed that I would look after making/getting our daughter to/from medical appts, that I would take time off my work to care for her when she was sick (even when she is in his legal custody). When we were together, it was just assumed that I would bathe her, change her, feed her and when I asked him to, most of the time he didn't want to. Now that he and I share custody, he has stepped up to his responsibilities more and assumed most of the responsibilities that come with being a primary caregiver (which he is 50% of the time). For some reason though, he has yet to take the intiative when it comes to medical issues and still defers to me when she is not feeling well.


Exactly.
 lynaudio
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 200
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/31/2010 9:47:51 AM
I am in complete agreement with everything stated in both posts #276 and #278.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >