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 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 251
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POLYGAMY?Page 11 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
If you don't wan this type of commitment perhaps offer him the money back for the divorce that way you have nothing to tie you to this man. I don't think it's fair that he would be allowed 4 wived but you only 1 husband. A lot of religions and cultures allow this. I think it's down to your own personal choice and what you wanna do in this situation.
 TantraD
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 252
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 9/21/2009 6:56:13 AM
this thread was started 3 years ago!!

what did she do...??
 Kayo_is_Okay
Joined: 9/12/2009
Msg: 253
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:54:16 AM
You are stupid if you do it. You can't marry him when he is married to someone else in the States my dear. You will be abused and controlled not only by him but by her too. He wants his cake and eat it too.
 Deb2009
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 254
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:05:14 AM
Women have a I can change a man or I have to have a man in my life to make me whole.
That is why most women fail.
You may want to look at how you feel about you as a person then move forward from there
 wild1-1
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 255
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:36:56 AM
Most relationships like this they have a workable plan that everyone lives by for it to work. If he introduces a new person he has to discuss that with his other partners. All you have to do is ask him how it works for him and family.

I think this guy is only using the polygamy lifestyle as an excuse to be with more than one woman. The polygamy lifestyle worked well in Africa because of the economy blah....in America, no need for it.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 256
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:12:35 AM
I'm too selfish to share my man, but can understand how it may work for some people. I actually know a woman that's just entered an arrangement with two other women already in the picture all three sharing the one man.....this woman can just about have any guy she wants, but her choice was to be with this particular man regardless of the situation...she has her own apartment which he purchased, she gets to see him 2 nights or so a week and has the rest of her time to spend with friends or whatever else she wants to do...she recently had her 32nd birthday which the two women had organised for her, it was one of the best well planned parties i've ever been to...watching them mingle together you would never guess that all three are sharing the same man...no one feels cheated, and no green monsters lurking either....good for them.
 13karat
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 257
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:30:23 AM
I have to agree with you Arabianangel - althought I could not share or enter a polygamous relationship, I also understand how others can do it. I was offered a polygamous relationship a few years ago and turned it down.... after much discussion with the people involved.... and I know it could not work for me. However, it DOES work for some people. ALSO, what a lot of people are not looking at in this thread..... what if it was the woman with several men? I have a friend who is in that situation.... she was in a relationship with 2 men - living with both of them. She went to introduce a third man into the relationship, and the first one got very upset. She split with the first, and gained the third. It works for her... and her men.... and she is very open with all parties. Why not, if it works for you?
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 258
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:31:08 PM
Ok, when I first started reading this, I thought you must be 18 or 20, to be this naive. You want to know "how it would work?" It would work this way. He would have you and his supposed mistress (how do you know he's not really married to her?) and as many other women as he wanted to bring around. Can you really live that way?

You are not so good at sharing, but you don't care if he sleeps with her? If you are ok with him sleeping with her, what do you care if he wants another wife?? The "heart" in these matters is that the man gets to have a "flavor of the night" and you get your share of his affection when he's not giving it to one of the others. If you can live that way, go for it.

He said he wanted to marry you, and you said yes, thinking he was joking? You haven't said a word about how you actually feel about this guy, just that he likes to pay for your stuff. Have you done any research about where he comes from? In many of those countries (especially the ones where they can have multiple wives) a wife is just another possession, something that they own.

I would be very careful about this if I were you.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 259
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:40:23 PM
The only one that would miss me would be my mom but she wouldnt care as long as i was taken cre of........

This is not the '50s! We do not have to settle for any old kind of offer of marriage to just anyone, in order to be "taken care of." Take care of yourself, and marry someone because you are so in love with him that you cannot imagine living the rest of your days without him!

I think this guy is only using the polygamy lifestyle as an excuse to be with more than one woman.
What other reason is there to live this lifestyle??
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 260
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:52:20 PM
Prince Vlad, would you be willing to let a new "husband" or two join your "family?"

 mjouhar
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 261
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:34:59 AM
There is a polygamy dating site:
http://www.2or3or4.com
 scottdehart
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 262
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:03:40 AM
Ah yes, polygamy...where you can have many women......all with a headache.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 263
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:22:02 AM
polygamy: marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time

So a woman could have many men - all of whom are watching the game at the same time! Several of the poly relationships I know about consist of one woman and two men. Some I know do consist of one man and two (or three) women. It seems to work for them, but they share the same cultural background, which I think differs from the situation the OP has presented (and I didn't review the posts, sorry).
 brightestblue
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 264
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:59:17 AM
People! The OP confessed to this thread being bogus over three years ago. Or at least that's what I was able to glean from the following:


Well In my original crativity my "guy' was a muslum and can only have 4 wives. Thank you all that are open minded to the fact that not every life iss for everyone. I never ment to have people get so worked up all I wanted was their opinions of yes or no. I respect everyones views as their own and look forward to the day that we can all think out side the "BOX" that marriage is mainly a pice of paper controling you to the government not your SO and their ways and ideals of how we all should behave, or eles there would be no such thing as divorce. There are good and bad marriages all over this world it all depends on whom your with and how much respect you can have for each other. As in alot of arranged marriages they tend to usualy grow to love each other.
 PrinceVlad
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 265
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 1/10/2010 5:34:07 PM

Prince Vlad, would you be willing to let a new "husband" or two join your "family?"


No that is forbidden by G-d not by me. Our view of marriage is based upon our faith, thus to call it a marriage it must conform to the definitions of our faith.

As to fair or not fair, I don't ask or care. I make an offer that is acceptable to my G-d, myself and my existing wife. Other than my future wife/wives it is no one else business and thus I don't seek their opinion.
 perplunged
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 266
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 3/7/2010 7:06:09 AM
I feel the best thing you can do is follow your higher spirit. If you quiet your own mind completely ( not easy to do for most people) than your own higher spirit can guide you.
If you quiet your mind frequently--- even for brief moments throughout the day-- you can 'feel' when your higher spirit sends you messages and promptings---- could be through books, people saying certain things, nature, certain movies. Almost any source could send you guidance if your heart and mind are open.
As for those women dealing with it. It is more of a collective mindset. The more a person thinks of others instead of only themselves---- the easier it is to share. --Art
 Lucky_57
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 267
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 3/7/2010 8:30:04 AM
Approximately 1000 years ago, a famous Jewish scholar, Rabbi Gershom, formally banned polygamy and reinforced the then current monogamous standard. Also at that time, the monogamous standard was officially sanctioned into Jewish law. An edict was then enacted that outlawed polygamy for all eternity, which was binding on all European Jewry. This law and edict are still in place at present and have been the absolute Jewish norm for more than a thousand years.
 AndrekaJean
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 268
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 2/23/2013 4:43:07 AM
Men are nature ..natural born polygamist.I am sorry to bust ur bubbles women.There r 12 women to every 1 man.What does that say? So even if u believe u have this 1 man bargained to just u or that 1 women for the rest of his life.Women r out of they're minds.I wish we had polygamy marriages allowed worldwide.This would stop alot of divorces and keep families together.PPl dont get involved in polygamist marriages due 2 moral reasons.It is more of a means of survival.Not allowing the Government to provide for single attached families whos offsprings r from the man.I totally endorse Polygamy.I know I may get alot of responses by women.But most men know what Im talking about.Even if she believes she has this man all to herself..which we all (women)would love.Truth is..they r still going 2 cheat.So atleast when they cheat,they dont go out of the marriage and do this he keeps himself between his wives.Unlike the infedelity that goes on out of control today..where married men freely go 2 strip bars or picking up hookers, searching for his need.Although I dont approve of that.But what can women unknowingly do 2 stop this?Either way you r still sharing your man.Get use to it.If hes not cheating now..most likely hes going to or already has atleast once in a lifetime.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 269
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/17/2013 3:48:48 PM
Didn't that Jeffries guy have like 60+ wives .
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 270
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/17/2013 4:07:46 PM
Kayo_is_Okay wrote:


You are stupid if you do it. You can't marry him when he is married to someone else in the States my dear. You will be abused and controlled not only by him but by her too. He wants his cake and eat it too.


Actually, with the rise of Islam in the USA, it will not be long before polygamy is accepted, and the laws changed.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 271
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/17/2013 5:37:02 PM
Message 273...if a man is a cheater, it won't matter if he has one wife or 20, he's still going to cheat any chance he gets with someone he would want to have sex with. The idea that if you give him more sex or more wives will make him stay at home is woefully wrong. And no, not all men want other women or other wives, where do you get this stuff???
~~~~~~~~~~~

Women are just as likely to cheat, there's no men cheat/women don't, real life does not work that way.

Who cares if a man wants more wives or a woman wants more husbands? If they want that, let them go for it, as long as children aren't being sexually abused and all participants are willing, who cares. People keep spinning their wheels in the sand, yelling about plural marriages and gay marriages...let it go, it's not your business as long as it's between consenting adults. If people don't have equal civil rights, then marriage should not be allowed between men & women either.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 272
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/18/2013 2:17:25 PM
Man can't keep one women happy but wants four If USA will ever come to that I will whip I'm ass back to Poland where 97% of populaton is catholic n church would never approve it
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 273
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/18/2013 8:55:53 PM
^^^^ I might just join you. The USA is going sooooooo third world anymore. Used to be when I traveled abroad, I was always glad to get back to the US because we had so many more freedoms, and such a better life style. Anymore, I've found other countries to be more free, and have more appealing life styles, and that is very sad indeed.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 274
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/19/2013 4:53:45 AM
I just wonder how many women would fleed to other countries on never get married? Why I god earth I would want to share a guy with someone else? Or since is equality can I have four husbands too? Then I can divore e thir asses and live of spousal support. Can u dudes actually afford 4 wife's? And all of he kids. How would u like to be one of of four husbands. I undestand that there are still countries that man can do that n women have to cover theirs bodies n faces n can't live the house without husbands or father. But really are u guys are thinking about ur**** right now or would u guys want a future like that if u would end up having daughters? This is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I'm outrageged
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 275
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POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/19/2013 6:32:35 AM
Polygamy is fine for those who want it, I suppose, but I am adamantly opposed to religion-based polygamy as it is usually coercive and unbalanced. If it were equally about a woman having multiple husbands, or multiple husband with multiple wives, I see no problem. However, since most polygamy is based on flawed religious ideas, I am opposed.

I'm sure my wife and my girlfriend and her boyfriend agree!
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