Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 86
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?Page 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Message 273...if a man is a cheater, it won't matter if he has one wife or 20, he's still going to cheat any chance he gets with someone he would want to have sex with. The idea that if you give him more sex or more wives will make him stay at home is woefully wrong. And no, not all men want other women or other wives, where do you get this stuff???
~~~~~~~~~~~

Women are just as likely to cheat, there's no men cheat/women don't, real life does not work that way.

Who cares if a man wants more wives or a woman wants more husbands? If they want that, let them go for it, as long as children aren't being sexually abused and all participants are willing, who cares. People keep spinning their wheels in the sand, yelling about plural marriages and gay marriages...let it go, it's not your business as long as it's between consenting adults. If people don't have equal civil rights, then marriage should not be allowed between men & women either.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 87
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/18/2013 2:17:25 PM
Man can't keep one women happy but wants four If USA will ever come to that I will whip I'm ass back to Poland where 97% of populaton is catholic n church would never approve it
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 88
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/18/2013 8:55:53 PM
^^^^ I might just join you. The USA is going sooooooo third world anymore. Used to be when I traveled abroad, I was always glad to get back to the US because we had so many more freedoms, and such a better life style. Anymore, I've found other countries to be more free, and have more appealing life styles, and that is very sad indeed.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 89
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/19/2013 4:53:45 AM
I just wonder how many women would fleed to other countries on never get married? Why I god earth I would want to share a guy with someone else? Or since is equality can I have four husbands too? Then I can divore e thir asses and live of spousal support. Can u dudes actually afford 4 wife's? And all of he kids. How would u like to be one of of four husbands. I undestand that there are still countries that man can do that n women have to cover theirs bodies n faces n can't live the house without husbands or father. But really are u guys are thinking about ur**** right now or would u guys want a future like that if u would end up having daughters? This is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I'm outrageged
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 90
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/19/2013 6:32:35 AM
Polygamy is fine for those who want it, I suppose, but I am adamantly opposed to religion-based polygamy as it is usually coercive and unbalanced. If it were equally about a woman having multiple husbands, or multiple husband with multiple wives, I see no problem. However, since most polygamy is based on flawed religious ideas, I am opposed.

I'm sure my wife and my girlfriend and her boyfriend agree!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 91
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/20/2013 11:23:44 AM
Oh good lord. The only people that enjoy polygamy is the men. The women in other cultures that have to deal with this type of lifestyle, often are very unhappy. A friend of mine from a country in Africa where polygamy is common, told me a story about her father having more than one wife. Her mother wouldn't talk to him for days on end, and apparently her mother even threw some stuff at him when he brought some other wife around. She was not liking it at all, and she eventually drove this woman out of the house. Only the men are served by polygamy. Women throughout history have been made very miserable by this time of marital arrangement. And this guy's acts of so-called chivalry, paying for things for you, etc., are all done to make you feel obligated. It's a form of manipulation.
 Insanity_Inc
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 92
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/20/2013 12:10:45 PM
I tried a polyamorous relationship once but I found that the amount of jealousy and competition between the two men who were my boyfriends was just too tough to handle. They both went into the relationship knowing exactly how it would be, but in the end it was too much for them to handle.

I have often considered being a part of a situation where there are multiple wives and one husband. I can see many more positive benefits than negative but I doubt it will ever happen as I cannot imagine finding people who are emotionally mature enough to thrive in such a relationship.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 93
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/21/2013 2:23:47 PM
Emotionally mature?

I find hard to belive that's at of mature ppl would be ok with someone else humping ur wife or husband u relly relly love. I see sharing partners very Immature as boys in HS do it with girls that are easy lol. But that my opinion.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 94
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/21/2013 3:50:52 PM
I can't imagine why anyone would want more than one spouse, but I don't think it should be against the law. I believe it's just a matter of time before laws prohibiting it are struck down.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 95
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/22/2013 9:27:21 AM
I just hope with wont become legal before I die

And I still can't see that this would be ok with any women to be wife number 2,3 or 4. U bring wife number two home n u get served with divorce papers in less than 24 hrs. I refuse to lie there all bymyself while my husband is doing someone else. How u guy would feel if u are laying there and some other guy is getting Ii on with u wife n u don't. It so out there. Ppl who do that or agree with that are sick in their heads but that's my opinion
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 96
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/22/2013 9:30:23 AM
The fact that something is legal doesn't mean you have to engage in it. It only means that those who don't believe in it don't have the right to put people in jail that decide to practice it.

It's mostly a religious thing, and our constitution protects a person's freedom to practice their religion.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 97
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/1/2013 10:27:43 AM
larissan04

Oh good lord. The only people that enjoy polygamy is the men. The women in other cultures that have to deal with this type of lifestyle, often are very unhappy. A friend of mine from a country in Africa where polygamy is common, told me a story about her father having more than one wife. Her mother wouldn't talk to him for days on end, and apparently her mother even threw some stuff at him when he brought some other wife around. She was not liking it at all, and she eventually drove this woman out of the house. Only the men are served by polygamy. Women throughout history have been made very miserable by this time of marital arrangement. And this guy's acts of so-called chivalry, paying for things for you, etc., are all done to make you feel obligated. It's a form of manipulation.


I totally agree with you...

98% of the time in these situations it is all about the women catering to the man an his wants an needs,,never mind about what the women may want an it will be hell or high water if 1 of the women decided she wanted to bring another man into the mix or have somebody for herself when the "hubby" is busy rotating himself around with the others O that would be the end of the world..you see it isnt an probably never will be about a woman having multiple husbands or even mail order husbands its all about how to cater to the man an pump out kids..

an yes with certain men some cant handle 1 mentally emotionally an phsyically how they would bring in 3 or 4 to deal with is ridiculous..

ive watched a few episodes of the show sister wives an read the dirty truth blogs an i saw first hand without even knowing much about the show at first that you could see an tell that those women are all miserable in that situation an the guy is a selfish jackass.. even beyound the fake smiles kisses an oh we are so happy..its obvious they want out an he is tired of most of them but seems to show a lil favor towards the brown haired 1 i belive she was the last wife to join on
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 98
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/1/2013 10:42:49 AM
If by polygamy one means two women at the same time in the same bed in a LTR, I would try it. But I doubt it would work out, someone would always feel left out. I am not keen on it if it meant always trying to juggle two women and resolving jealousy.

I would not want to be a second man in such a relationship.

Even if I am willing to try it, I have no idea at all if I would like it or it would work out.

I think a lot of modern polygamy in the USA involves 1 woman and 2 men but not living together.

Thailand outlawed polygamy in the 1930s, I doubt as puritanical and with the old fashioned christian values the USA has, if it were ever legal it wouldn't be for 50 more years.

I am a sceptic about how well this works IRL, even though it might work for a few years.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 99
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/1/2013 11:20:11 AM

However, since most polygamy is based on flawed religious ideas, I am opposed.

i believe it goes deeper than that, and that whatever religions have managed to survive simply institutionalized the instinctive social organization that came before. there's a strong evolutionary basis for polygamy, same for humans as elsewhere in the animal kingdom. it's a self-enforcing system in which only the strongest genes are allowed to be propagated. men have millions of sperm, women have only a few hundred eggs, so it's evolutionarily practical to group women around men to maximize the chances of creating offspring strong enough to survive. women evolved as full participants in this selection process. monogamy is a cultural construct, a luxury that a species can get away with when it's eliminated most of its competition. and it serves men, since in a monogamistic society, women will mate with resource-poor men they'd never consider in a polygamous society.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 100
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/1/2013 11:26:33 AM

If by polygamy one means two women at the same time in the same bed in a LTR, I would try it. But I doubt it would work out, someone would always feel left out. I am not keen on it if it meant always trying to juggle two women and resolving jealousy.

Actually, it's not necessary for one to always feel "left out" in that scenario. Taking turns isn't as difficult as some think. When I was involved in that lifestyle, I actually enjoyed the times when I was "left out" for whatever reason. I guess I like "me" time so giving them "their" time worked well, and sometimes it was just nice to be there on the 'fringes' so to speak, as well. In my experience, the whole triad thing worked best when all three people took the time to spend one-on-one with each other participant, as well as spending time as a triad.

However, in my opinion there are time-management issues in trying to maintain more than one or two romantic relationships, especially when not in the same household. Thats a major reason why I didn't go for the more open poly style - for me, it was just too much work. For whatever reason, two females and one male just seemed ideal to me.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 101
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/1/2013 3:53:56 PM
A doctor friend of mine told me the fastest growing religion in the USA is Islam. If that's true, polygamy and sharia law are not far behind.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 102
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/1/2013 4:14:46 PM

If that's true, polygamy and sharia law are not far behind.

Not every Muslim is a polygamist, and not every Muslim lives under Sharia law or even wants to.
 Vesta_ceres
Joined: 4/5/2013
Msg: 103
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/2/2013 6:04:57 AM
People have deliberately misinterpreted the Qu'ran, in this regard. There's not a solitary man on earth who can manage either four consecutive wives or four wives concurrently, unless you have a super penis and wealth.

The man who wants such an arrangement can't merely use his wife as a breeding sow, though that's how. He must be able to take care all of their financial, sexual, and emotional needs. Alas, this is impossible, to give one he must give to all, and keeping his first wife as a gem. The children are countless and often neglected by the father in favor of newer children from younger, more sexually pleasing wives.

In Pakistan, it's one wife at a time, and like Saudi Arabia, when a man divorces the wife with whom there was a written contract and a substantial piece of property, cash, or jewelry offered, at the time of marriage, he pays through the nose when he divorces her; he must give her and the children, a suitable home, income, and security. This is in some jurasdictions where divorce isn't allowed, why some men resort to falsely accusing their wives of adultery to break the contract, even if it means she dies for something she had not done.

I agree that not all Muslims agree with this.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 104
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/2/2013 9:00:54 AM

Christ_on_a_crutch
it serves men, since in a monogamistic society, women will mate with resource-poor men they'd never consider in a polygamous society.

Interesting point. I once read an article with a similar viewpoint, wish I could find it again, but I can’t seem to come up with the right search terms.

The basic idea was that women have very high standards when it comes to men. They all want men who are

1) Tall (6’0” or more)
2) Handsome (regular features, good teeth, flat abdomen)
3) Successful and Established (above average income, respected in the community, own their own home, etc.)

The article was addressing the question of why some women (young, attractive, single women) choose to engage in affairs with already married men. The answer was that there weren’t enough of the “desirable men” to go around, so these women would rather try to take away another woman’s husband then “settle” for a less desirable man.

Which feeds right back in to the point made by Christ_on_a_crutch, monogamy is very helpful to men who are less desirable. Dragon_bits made a similar point recently in another thread, where he stated something along the lines of “women should marry short men, as the short men would be less likely to cheat on them”.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/2/2013 9:34:35 AM
Our current welfare system supports defacto polygamy....
Consider many welfare mothers who have several children each with different fathers and no child support
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 106
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/3/2013 4:06:01 PM
quite a few of my girlfriends, had a couple of other guys while with me , I guess that is polygamy, she even ate dinner with the other's family . Bad for me.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 4/26/2013
Msg: 107
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/4/2013 9:39:45 PM
The math alone doesn't work for me. Assume the gender split is roughly fifty fifty. If one man has four wives then there will be three men that will never get married.

Having 75% of the men single could be destructive to the fabric of society. Wouldn't prostitution and rape increase?
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 108
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/5/2013 6:15:31 AM
The math does not work out on a large scale if you assume it's mainly about one man and several women, but certainly can work on a small scale even then. Besides, polygamy does NOT have to be one man and several women (polygyny) - it can be one woman and several men (polyandry). Plenty of people already do this in polyamorous relationships, or where there is more than one of each gender. It could still balance math-wise.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 4/26/2013
Msg: 109
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/5/2013 7:06:05 AM
Polyandry would balance that, but you don't see a lot of discussion about it so it didn't cross my mind. It's funny how culture would block such an obvious solution from occurring in my mind.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 110
view profile
History
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 5/5/2013 6:10:02 PM
4ms4me wrote:


Not every Muslim is a polygamist, and not every Muslim lives under Sharia law or even wants to.


True, however, at the rate that big corporations and the government are handing out H1B, L1 and student visas to anyone and everyone from SW Asia like candy, it would be unwise to discount the fact that there will be more radicals among us.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >