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 who_the_fox
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 126
How important is a THREESOME???Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Good call Evil

I am fascinated when men think it is completely natural to expect a woman to engage in woman on woman "action" but yet are absolutely horrified by the concept of man on man.

He wants me to eat clam, he has to suck back some sausage.

Oddly, they never see that as fair.
 who_the_fox
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 127
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:52:33 PM
sorry double post
 K_Dub1
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 128
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 5/3/2007 3:35:10 AM
Ha ha, well said!
 grendal
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 129
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:29:22 AM
It can be very important. People have to realize that sexual fantasies are very real, very powerful, and not easy to dismiss. Telling a person, "you shouldn't want that" or "that shouldn't be that important to you" accomplishes nothing. If a person is highly desirous of a threesome, he or she needs to be honest about it. That means recognizes that partners who have no interest in threesomes may not be compatible.
 grendal
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 130
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:30:37 AM
That's unfair. If he really wants a threesome and she really doesn't, maybe they aren't compatible.
 Fabulous Disaster
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 131
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:47:58 AM
I have fulfilled every sexual fantasy I have ever had with the exception of pulling a three way. Sad,... yes!

So therefore, it remains a fantasy that I must fulfill once in my lifetime. Pig man, …maybe.

But in making or expecting a life style of the sort is a different matter. I would have had a great of respect for my ex wife if she would have found it in herself to let go and not only experience something for herself but to also offer it as a “gift” to me. However, that said, none of my satisfaction or enjoyment for that matter would have come from what I may have wanted from the other person but more so the pleasure I would have received from the idea of my wife with a girlfriend. And I would have made sure she knew she was first and received most of my attention and that when it was over, it was over.

Whether it became more or not would have been her doing as my fantasy had been fulfilled. Any more would perhaps be seen as a bonus vs. and expectation.

So to this day, your question remains something that I fell and may continue to feel is missing from my life. At least that one time where I can feel like I have experienced everything.

The funny thing is that after my ex and I split, the first thing she did was run out and pull a whole slew of three ways with her best friends and their husbands. But she screwed me out of that dream for years.

Sorry if that makes me into some shitty guy. I’m really not.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 132
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 11:36:20 AM
I've had a few (both ways) and I certainly don't regret them..but I think when it comes to someone you're in love with/ in a realtionship with, it's better left as fantasy (mine were with good friends basically...lol, very good friends ;-). I think it's possible to have this lifestyle if you both agree...and there's a certain way people who do this look at things. That's not me, I wouldn't want to share my man sexually or be with someone else. The fantasy part of that is okay though (at least for me).
I think it's something everybody should try once ,lol..but not with a SO.
I agree that it brings trouble..or it would for me; a relationship is monogomous and incredibly special to me if I'm going to embark on it..no room for that (again ,except as fantasy). There are some rare people that can pull this off..more power to them. I also would never go into a 3-some with a couple tha was in a serious relationship.
Um...I think it is sad that he put this as an ultimatum. There's nothing wrong with it being important to him..but waiting til you're in love and have so much as stake was wrong of him in my opinion. Like blackmail. If a guy gave me any type of a an ultimatum like that , I'd tell him to f* off ...that's just wrong.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 133
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 6:14:21 PM

he stood by me, helped me, and we had a few intimate moments...but he still wants the lifestyle and I still don't. (there are many other reasons we are NOT together and I no longer love him) BUT I want to know...how many of you out there really want a threesome and would sacrifice someone you love for it??? IMHO, when there's love involved, it could only bring trouble? (except in the rare case where both want the 'triangle'....


Hell no way, I'm not going to compromise my value and integrity if a guy pushes for a threesomes.. Its immoral and disgusting.. How could you do that to someone you want to remain faithful in your entire life? Creates more confusion and heartache for both parties.

*shakes* Your ex should find someone who will fit into that alternative lifestyle. It's something that I won't do personally.
 JimmyPaige
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 134
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 8:26:16 PM
You did the right thing.
You weren't comfortable with his demands.

I personally have no interest in threesomes. One at a time is just fine for me.
This is one of those things I don't "get."
It's like anal sex....I just don't get it.

I used to know some swingers years ago. Very weird people.
Weird sh** was always happening to them. Things were just "off."
I remember going to one of those parties and thinking how sad and fu**ed up they all seemed to be. I don't remember if I knew ahead of time what was up...I think maybe it was sprung on me. I didn't stay long.

Funny, because I'm a very sexy dude. But I believe in love, real love.
I'd be deathly afraid of STD's as well.
And you can't tell me that jealousy never happens in these situations.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 135
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/5/2009 8:29:01 PM

How important is a THREESOME???

Depends on the hotness of the two guys involved, naturally.
 CruiseBrewsScrews
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 136
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 2:47:31 AM
To me this had nothing to do with threesomes, and everything to do with hitting the exit door. He set up a situation that almost any lady would pass on, and thus, "gives" him a reason to not man up and settle down and be responsible.
A classic.

On the other hand, what exact is the big hang up on a threesome?

News flash, nearly every guy has this fantasy.
Never, ever be suprised by this request. Ever.
This has to be the #1 most common fantasy.
If its important to him, it will get in the way, until its "crossed off the list".
And threats of a MMF versus the FFM won't scare the dedicated ones.

Now I have scratched this itch.. so I could probably live without another one.
But I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind sometimes...
 L5377
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 137
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 3:21:19 AM
You just started dating a great lady. You're out for a nice dinner, concert, easy conversation, very pleasant. She invites you back to her place. Jackpot! You walk in, she introduces you to her roommate, who's just as hot as your date. Your date seductively asks would you like a glass of wine? Can't say no. On the sofa, you're in the middle, your date on the left, roommate on the right. Is it getting warm in here or is it just me? Your date leans into you, grabs your head with both hands and gives you a deep 30-seconder. Roommate, not to be outdone, reciprocates. You're toast, buddy. Your date starts to unfasten the buttons of your shirt while roommate simultaneously is taking your belt off. There is no guy on the planet that will say I think I left the oven on and I'm really sorry but I have to leave.
 BACHELOR02
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 138
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:08:16 AM
This is just conjecture on my part, but it sounds like this guy wanted out and used the threesome issue to bail, knowing you wouldn't go along with it.
 L5377
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 139
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:13:41 AM
Sorry, it was just a hypothetical scenario and I was having some fun with it. If this had happened to me, I would be dead now from a cardiac arrest and my epitath would read: 'He died doing what he always wanted to do'.
 Kamal_416
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 140
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:51:17 AM
OP,

How important is a THREESOME???....give him what he wants or you will end up in here and being lonely like some of the chicks in pof with depressing profile.
it will start with something like this "just got out of a relationship...".
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 141
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:21:35 AM

And threats of a MMF versus the FFM won't scare the dedicated ones.

That's not a scare tactic, that's an honest answer - he may see two women, but I see two guys. Who's right? Who's more apt to live their fantasy out? What if you both keep it a fantasy?

I've heard from men who have had threesomes they're great but not if one of the women is their spouse or SO. Why? Jealousy/ego - the women know each other better having all the same equipment, and the guy is left on the outskirts looking for a way in. I guess this isn't such a big deal if he's the star player but not if he's one of the crew.

In my MMF fantasy, I don't know either of them. I don't want an SO involved, it's all about me and I can't focus on me with him around. Plus a bisexual guy is only hot as an extra, not a staple. ::::

See the thing is when men say they want threesomes they never mean another man involved. Why do men always assume all women are bisexual. I see nothing wrong with bisexuality, but I just am not in the slightest bit sexually attracted to women. I sometimes wish I was as a lesbian, as another woman would be far easier to deal with then a man. Don't get me wrong. I love men, but they are cracked and have bizarre ideas. And by God never let one try to decorate your house unless he is gay. You will end up with motorcycle wheels on your walls.

LOL....who knows why they always think two females. I guess because it's what makes sense for them. That's usually the problem with stuff like this, it's assumed it'll be about him. The face would be priceless though when the other guy shows up. He'll remember to clarify it the next time he brings it up in conversation for sure.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 142
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 9:06:12 AM
A threesome is of course a staple of sexual fantasy for many men, and for many women too, whether MMF or FFM. Fantasy fulfillment can be hugely important for a couple, but what the OP described wasn't a fantasy, it was an ultimatum, possibly designed, as some have said, to get out of the relationship, as he likely knew she wouldn't go along. Nor should she have, when it was proposed as a threat.

I've been down this road with my ex-wife, and when we mutually discussed fantasies, this was one of hers (and mine), and we agreed to explore it together, as well as other scenarios too. Not a damn thing wrong with that either, and I'd do it again with the right partner, provided she was interested as well. And if she wasn't comfortable with the idea, that would be OK too. In those types of situations I think its best to let the woman lead, and I would never dream of using such a scenario as a make or break guideline for the relationship.
 whatIlikeaboutyou
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 143
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/6/2009 9:39:48 AM
he lays on me that he isn't willing to get married unless I'm willing to have a threesome, once a month!


I wonder who he thought the third wheel would be and if he was already doing something with her and wanted you to join in.

Perhaps I would have cheekily told him that would be fine but I'd also require that I have a FMM threesome with a man of my choosing too. Fair is fair.

Also, call me selfish but I would have agreed only if I could be the piggy in the middle

On the other hand I would in all seriousness probably just refused to marry him since being blackmailed into deviant sex is outside the terms of any marriage I would participate in.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 144
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/7/2009 1:21:21 AM
He told me his side of the story and it goes like this:

He's horny, he's horny and, oh yeah, he's super horny
 Quaestor
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 145
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/7/2009 1:37:37 AM
For me, MFM makes more sense for men than FMF - women are multiorgasmic and men are not. I have tried it both ways and it seems to work best when the woman is the centre of attention. Having done the FMF thing with two bi women I felt like a spare wheel. Plus men are less likely to become emotionally involved.
 steveneddy
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 146
How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/9/2009 1:06:27 PM

Ok, now I'm addicted to this forum! But this is another thread for a topic I've always wondered about for a LONG time.... 8 yrs ago I was engaged to the man I consider the love of my life. Upon meeting him, he casually told me a threesome was a fantasy of his...of course all men dig that and would love it..Well, fast forward to "I love you's", buying a house together, getting pregnant, and then engaged and having a son...and then.. on my birthday dinner, he lays on me that he isn't willing to get married unless I'm willing to have a threesome, once a month! Mind you I have a rock on my finger and a 9 month old baby (and a son from a previous marriage) at home..Because we have a son together-we are still in contact..in no way shape or form 'together', but forever connected. I would not compromise my lack of interest or curiosity in women and didn't agree to his 'terms for marriage/threesomes so we broke up...I still stand by my decision, don't regret it, but wonder...
During my life threatening illness, he stood by me, helped me, and we had a few intimate moments...but he still wants the lifestyle and I still don't. (there are many other reasons we are NOT together and I no longer love him) BUT I want to know...how many of you out there really want a threesome and would sacrifice someone you love for it??? IMHO, when there's love involved, it could only bring trouble? (except in the rare case where both want the 'triangle'....
[\quote]

You are the perfect example of stupid chics.

Just from what you wrote here if I were in your shoes I would have ran.

But you had sex, had a child, got engaged....wow, you must have really bad judgment.

You should have seen this coming. The way you tell the story I see a woman that was too desperate for a relationship (son from another relationship) and needed to find someone to fill the gap.

Maybe some counseling would be in order before you totally ruin your two children

You aren't a loser but you really need to evaluate your judgment thought process.
 SFLTracey
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 147
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/9/2009 9:29:23 PM

he lays on me that he isn't willing to get married unless I'm willing to have a threesome, once a month!


Girl, that is some BS. Not only is he giving you an ultimatum he is telling you how often it should happen. What a prick.
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 148
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/10/2009 1:46:47 PM
I was in a poly relationship for many years.

Threesomes are over rated. Been there, done that, big whoop.

Maybe it's just me, but I like being able to focus my attention on my lover and having hers on just me.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 149
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/11/2009 11:44:11 AM
Is it really? Maybe for some.
As far as I can remember there was not a dull moment, blank expression in eyes and moist skin said it all. Yep, one to one
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 150
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How important is a THREESOME???
Posted: 9/11/2009 1:20:46 PM
Well, to me, it's something that I would just like to experience before I die but, in the great scheme of things, it's really not that important either. So while a FMF threesome might be one of my top fantasies, I would definitely not sacrafice a loving relationship for it either, ever.
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