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 sweetiepi
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 51
Fears In First MeetingsPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
For me, if i'm not at all nervous about the meeting, then i'm not really into the guy before meeting him. I usually worry about them not liking how I look or appearing awkward, if I don't worry about this, then I don't care what they think about me... meaning I am not into them.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 52
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Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:49:20 PM
I am scared the stuffing will come out of my bra

or that I will spit when I talk..

or snort when I laugh

or..WAIT!..these things are all part of my personality!...

Im not scared of nuffin!!
 MacNews
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 53
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:16:35 PM

My biggest fear about meeting is that I'll realize they look NOTHING like the pic(s) they shared


Exactly mine too, the pics are always "selective" in what they show.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 54
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 6/18/2007 9:29:42 PM
the guy thinking i'm too fat.
 mjfsarnia
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 55
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Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:39:17 PM
We all fear rejection...that's normal. Perhaps the worst thing about meeting people in person who you fist met online is, you have already invested in chatting online and perhaps over the phone. So the two of you have developed somewhat of a relationship prior to ever meeting, so if the two of you meet and it doesn't go as planned it's like a double whammy.

Mark
 hey.mr.man
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 56
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:13:33 PM

My biggest fear about meeting is that I'll realize they look NOTHING like the pic(s) they shared


I agree with that, fear of rejection is a given, and as far as who pays, I think it would be a non-issue that if I made the date, that I would pay. But, alas, haven't had a date yet, so I'll have to get back to ya!

 *blondie*
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 57
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Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 6/20/2007 1:20:53 AM
I tend to worry wether or not we will click in person like we did on-line. I get all sorts of butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I get so anxious over nothing and we end up having a great time.
 miss_claudia
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 58
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/9/2007 2:03:12 PM
I think it is more appropriate in my situation to say what fears dont I have.
The biggest one is fear of rejection. I always worry that they wont like me once we meet. Or that they will think I dont look as good in person as I do in my pictures. Lets face it, most people look better in pictures, and besides who puts an ugly picture on their profile?
Will I like them, or will I spend an entire evening with someone I do not want to be with? I have a hard time hurting someones feelings and would probably just grin and bare it!!
fear of the unknown. I dont like feeling uncomfortable and lets face it, first meetings are always that way.
Fear of being hurt by someone, is always an issue. People can seem like the greatest person online and turn out to be a rapist or serial killer. I had a girl tell me that she gave her phone number to a man she met online and it turned out to be a person in prison. They have access to computers too ya know.
I am also afraid that if I decide I dont want to see the person anymore, they will get mad and cause a scene.
Fear of the other person being married. There are alot of dishonest people online, and I would hate to think I was out with another womans husband!

Real life dating is alot easier, you usually know the person before you go out with them.
after reading this, I will probably never get another offer again LOL!!!
 KMC56
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 59
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/9/2007 2:13:43 PM
My biggest fear is that I will talk too much and not let them get a word in... I tend to do that when I am nervous. So I tell them up front...."If I am talking too much then please tell me to shut up".....Won't hurt my feelings......
 Bubba.C
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 60
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/9/2007 3:31:21 PM


I am scared the stuffing will come out of my bra
or that I will spit when I talk..
or snort when I laugh
or..WAIT!..these things are all part of my personality!...


Damn ~rain~ you are as funny as you are beautiful!

I'm glad that alot of other people have the same fears as I do. My biggest fear is that I will be so nervous that my mouth is not going to say the words that my brain is thinking. Just the other day, I met a lady who had no picture in her profile and she is gorgeous. So, I mean to tell her that "your description of yourself in your profile doesn't do you justice and you are much more beautiful in person than I expected."

However it came out, was all wrong. My mouth didn't say what my brain told it to. Whatever words I blurted out was responded to with "so you're saying I'm ugly?"

OMG!!! No!!!! Noooooooooo!!!! I thought for a second I was going to be wearing a Starbuck's hot mocha but she graciouly gave me a change to redeem myself. Sheesh, I'm so nervous on first dates that I need to figure out a way to start on second or third dates instead.
 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 61
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/9/2007 4:58:40 PM
That we won't have anything to talk about. That happened once and I thought I could talk to anyone.
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 62
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/9/2007 7:31:32 PM
Going to see a Rachael Sage concert and spilling my drink during the first set. Fortunately, that happened with my daughter and and it was her drink that spilled (that I was presumably responsible for).
 Lady_Loves_water
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 63
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/9/2007 10:33:50 PM

I'm glad that alot of other people have the same fears as I do. My biggest fear is that I will be so nervous that my mouth is not going to say the words that my brain is thinking. Just the other day, I met a lady who had no picture in her profile and she is gorgeous. So, I mean to tell her that "your description of yourself in your profile doesn't do you justice and you are much more beautiful in person than I expected."

However it came out, was all wrong. My mouth didn't say what my brain told it to. Whatever words I blurted out was responded to with "so you're saying I'm ugly?"


OK, now tell them what you said to me exactly ........

BTW, he got a second date, so he must have said something right.
 jester1
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 64
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/10/2007 4:51:46 AM
Personally, I'm not nervous at all. I am who I am and tell it like it is and am very careful to not offfend anyone. I'm very sweet and loving and that is just the way I am. Perfectmatch "says" that I merit a second date with flying colors; also that I'm doing very well on online dating because I don't judge anyone immediately. That being said....WHY are you men so afraid to meet in person???? Coffee meetups are like a job interview; let's meet and do an "activity" together where we can be completely ourselves!!! Nothing ventured ; nothing gained! I'm ENFJ.
 denisedenise
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 65
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:51:21 AM
Drive by;
You meet in a large parking lot starting at opposite ends. You move slowly toward each other with driver side windows down. As you approach, if either of you does not like what you see, you peel out! If you like what you see, well you know what to do!





 raychass
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 66
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/10/2007 9:30:59 AM
Angel we share the same fear . I also worry ,but not to extremes , that they wont like me in person.
 BeccaJ1980
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 67
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/10/2007 10:14:17 AM
so i'm not the only one then..good...i have been talking to a guy on here for a little while, and i think i may be ready to meet him...but that scared me though. we have so much to talk about on here..and i am just afraid when we meet in person, i won't have anything to say..things like this are good for shy people like me, but meeting in person..that scares me..plus he's gorgeous, so i am kinda afraid of what he will think
Becca
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 68
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Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/10/2007 10:37:58 AM
The only fear I have in that situation is running into someone that's a great conversationalist....and turning a dialogue into a monologue. I did that once, and learned a good lesson on how stupid I could be at times.

Other than that, I have no expectations or fears. Typically, I want to show up with a blank piece of paper in my mind that I can sketch her perceived qualities as a perspective partner in as we talk and discover one another.

Since I crossed that romantic Rubicom, and stuck to "staying in the moment" on dates, it's been a blast. No labels on the women, and no pressure on either side.
 Paprikash!
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 69
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/10/2007 11:44:23 AM
It's comforting to know I'm not alone in my fears! :)

I've gone one four meet and greets from this site, and one follow up date. All the men lied about their height (which I am becoming resigned to since a male friend of mine said that men are incapable of giving their ACTUAL height. It's like some sort of big lie they all take part in...whatever.) Two of the men have old photos up that are at least ten years old.
 beachchick
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 70
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/11/2007 6:11:22 AM
I worry that they won't be who they've portrayed themselves to be. And I'm not just talking about pictures, I'm talking about pretending to be someone you aren't...pretending to have certain values and beliefs to make an impression, and then turning out to be a fraud.

I don't want someone to waste my time telling me that we have a lot in common if we really don't. I don't know why anyone would do that. If someone does this, it's very obvious right away that they aren't who they've said they were.
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 71
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Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/11/2007 6:22:59 AM
ASIDE from all the: what is he like, will he like me, am i wearing something stupid, how do i look, what he's expecting, etc 'fears'... Geez , i worry/freak about DROPPING/SPILLING FOOD ON MYSELF!!!
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 72
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:00:22 AM
OP, why would anyone worry about someone not liking what they see? It's what *you* yourself think that matters. No one will ever appeal to everyone, so we'll all run across people who aren't partial to our particular look, personality, etc. But if one is confident in who they are, then there's no reason to worry that someone might not like what they see; they either will or they won't, and it's no big deal, IMO.

The only time I ever got nervous was the first time I went to meet someone because it was something I'd never done before. After that, I didn't get nervous about it again.
 farmgrl4you
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 73
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/11/2007 7:17:54 PM
Hmm all of this "meeting an axe murederer" stuff gives POF a bad name!

WELL.........I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with POF and giving it a bad name---but liars do indeed prey on these sites. BELIEVE ME I MET ONE!!!
I met a registered sexual predator(registered in the state of ILLINOIS database) Had I not been very vigilant in my "investigating" of him --I or even worse MY CHILDREN could have been hurt. It has made me take a step back and not really want to date right away....it was a scary experience for a woman.
 happystone
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 74
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:15:34 PM
I am afraid I will get nervous and chatter too much.
 str8ahd
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 75
Fears In First Meetings
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:46:19 PM
Ha! It would take more than the prospect of a first date with someone I have absolutely no real world connection with to scare me! Yes, I've been a little nervous, I've wondered if I'm wearing the right outfit, I've been worried that I'll trip or something. Same as when I meet clients, no big deal & certainly not FEAR.
The only thing I'm afraid of is losing my teeth & that isn't likely to happen on a first date!
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