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Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 1
POF liar or not?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Here I am again back on POF to ask for opinions on my situation.
Chatted for 6 weeks on here with someone before meeting them. Met this fellow and really hit it off, had alot in common and we liked each other. Continued to date until we both decided to take profiles off POF. He assured me on several occasions that he was not dating anyone else only me and didnt need to keep his profile on now. I have been putting everything I have into this relationship so it would continue and progress. The last time we were together he mentioned the fact that he was still in contact via email and msn with old girlfriends. I thought this was odd because he told me that his ex's all cheated on him and broke his heart. So why in gods name would you want to stay in touch?
Anyway, something just didnt add up. I checked Lava life and found that he has just moved his profile to there and has recently updated his picture. I phoned him immediately and told him that he had lied to me and I knew about his Lava life profile and obviously he was still keeping feelers out, I must be filling in time until someone better comes along.

He was obviously upset and assured me that he was leaving the door open incase him and I didnt work out becasue thats how it always happens for him based on past. Thought it was too soon to close the door on other profile. Said he was never going to meet anyone while with me just if we didnt work out or I dumped him. He then took his profile off Lava, said he cared about me and wanted to continue seeing me? Is this guy playing me or is he just insecure about being alone and fears the worst....that I will dump him like past girls?
Appreciate any feed back.
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 2
view profile
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/20/2006 7:43:25 PM
Hey there...

I've been in this situation, and I know how much it sucks !!!
You want to trust him, and the stories he gives you in a warped twisted way make sense !
Be strong....he's obviously a player and waiting around for the next woman to come along, meanwhile keeping you on the burner until she shows up.

Maybe I'm wrong....and for your sake I hope I am....but I just know that I've been there.

good luck !!!

Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 3
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/20/2006 7:55:29 PM
I once had a crazy boyfriend that I did not meet on a dating site. Apparently while I was asleep or in the other room he was checking out his profile on other dating sites, and had his picture posted on the "hot or not" website. Unfortunately, he was not smart enough to delete the history list. When I confronted him about it, he said that it wasn't him but I am awfully suspicious so I must be cheating on him. Then I dumped him. So, happy endings for all!!

The point - this guy may be a closet homosexual like the young man I am talking about above. Or he may have self-esteem issues like aforementioned male. His excuses are crap and you should definitely take a step back and analyze where this is going.
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 4
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/21/2006 8:41:30 AM
I feel that if he's a one womans man he'd have no need to have his profile up anywhere on the internet.
If things don't work out between you two, it's not like the dating sites will be gone should you both go separate ways.
How can one concentrate and give 100% to someone they claim they want to be with when there constantly giving attention to other websites, and giving woman the green light as if you don't exsist.
I'm quite sure when he gets a response he's not saying ummm, I have a girlfriend, or I'm interested in this girl.
Doesn't sound like he's ready for a serious relationship.
wishing you well in whatever decision you make.....
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 5
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/21/2006 8:59:48 AM
I agree with messsage two but I would stop seeing him. he has already PROVED he lies so why try to brow beat a confession out of him ?
Just walk without a word... he does not even deserve an explaination in my eyes.
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:09:08 PM
girl!!!! attention here please!!! let him take his lave life and enjoy, he is soooo playing you, don't email him or any contact, let him wonder about where you have gone!! do you really want someone you have to keep tabs on? surely not!!!
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 7
POF liar or not?
Posted: 4/2/2006 10:57:08 PM
I have to agree that if you made a mutual decision to take down your profiles, you should rethink your opinions of his character. If he took the new one down what's to say he didn't just move sights or change user names. In a relationship trust is of the utmost importance, I would hope he no longer enjoys yours. I think should I make this agreement with a woman, and I were to find her profile somewhere, I would end it right then and there. Life's way to short and the pond is far to full to waste time on questionable people.
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 8
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:24:45 PM
How about this one...a guy I was seeing has his profile up and says it's his DAUGHTER doing it. He says he isn't looking and doesn't even have the password to log onto the site.
Sooo...I created a profile with a friend's pictures and just VIEWED his profile...He makes first contact, we have a nice little chat on the IM, gives me his Yahoo ID and actually CALLS "me" at my work number (that he didn't know)... Guess what... It wasn't his daughter on the phone.
He said it was deceitful...I say I played the player. BUSTED!!! Ahahaha.
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 9
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:44:07 PM caught him and all your doing is prolonging the inevitable...why put yourself through all the pain and suffering your surely destined for? Why in the hell do people ask for advise they all ready know the answer me

Read the "Laws of Attraction"
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 10
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:09:42 PM
My goodness, my guy did the same to me and eventually I learned he was married to boot!, even though he professed his love for me daily and even sold his house, apparently to move up to where I lived. He also kept up contact with old girlfriends he seduced also while married and I discovered that he was leading them on too.

You are lucky you found out now....bail and don't look back. I wonder if he's the same guy I went through this with??????
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 11
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:15:19 PM
Funny.....I just had almost the same thing happen to me recently.

I was dating a guy for 3 months, things were real good ( I thought ) and yet I had this nagging "gut" instinct that something wasn't quite right. I have never been an online profile stalker, but something just told me to double check on his motives. He told me the only time he comes here is to read and delete messages.

Lo and behold I found out, in a very painful way, that he was still actively pursuing other women here. That hurt alot. If he had only been honest and told me he was still looking then I would have had more respect for his honesty than finding out that he had openly lied to me.

I think that most of us here are serious in wanting a trusting relationship with someone, and yet these "players" continue to ruin it for the rest of us.

Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:25:06 PM
The only mention of time that I saw on here is 6 weeks of internet chatting. To me, that doesn't count. How long did you actually date in real life before this happened. I realize that he was still dishonest about things no matter how long it was, but if you had been dating less than a few weeks, I'd cut him some slack on this. You just can't know something will last until a while in. However, he could have easily hid the profile without deleting it.
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 13
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:45:08 PM
Dear, (and I use that as an endearing term, not a sexist term so don't go womens lib on me). Ha Ha Ha !!! That's just to put you at ease. Seriously, Dump the jerk !!! Guys like him play you ladies all the time, and make it hard on the decent non players to catch a break with a woman. If he truly wants it to work he'll get off all the sites and work as hard as you to make your realationship work. Relationships are based on trust. He already is showing that he doesn't trust you or his own commitment to the relationship. After reading your message I believe you to be an intelligent, and sincere
woman. Don't let this guy take you for a ride. Good luck !!!! Remember, There are good ones out there just waiting for someone like you to give them a chance.

Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:57:14 PM
Lately, it seems that all I've been talking to are guys like you just described. They say they are looking for a ltr, but how can you get to know someone when your on several dating sites and constantly on pof???
Please guys, give someone a chance and get to know each other to see if something can grow. You just can't do that by talking to many people at the same time. Gosh, how can you keep track of who your talking to and what information your sharing.
He totally sounds like he's playing you. Move on, don't continue to feed his over-inflated ego.
And guys, if you only want to be on these dating sites to keep on saying "NEXT", then be man enough to state that on your profiles. Stop leading unsuspecting people on, saying one thing and doing another. NOT COOL.

Thank you, and good luck in your search.
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 15
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 6:45:12 PM
The op posted this almost a year ago and isn't on here any more...strange that this was brought back to life when she isn't even here for advice...I wonder if she ditched him though.
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 16
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:07:13 PM
Just because he was dating you and joined another dating site doesn't mean he is a player. A dumbass yes, but doesn't mean he is playing you.
Were you exclusive? Did you have an agreement not join or delete profiles from other dating sites?
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 17
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:20:15 PM
I don't understand how so many people get into lying about themselves. Especially on an internet program. If you have such low self esteem that you need to make up a story about yourself, you have much larger problems impeding your dating world than just meeting people. Sorry to hear that there are fakes in the POF Pond, but there are good people in this world too. Good people may be harder to find, but they are worth the effort.

Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 18
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:27:27 PM
Profile should only be removed when you & he marry (period).
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 19
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:47:17 PM
I have been around the block a few times. I was not even looking for this guy to cheat,well I found him cheating. I told him I saw his profile after he said he would take it off. He was very angry that I caught him when I was not even looking.He said he did not want too see me again . I would say this guy wanted the best of both words. A guy like this should be dumped. When someone tries to make you believe they are not seeing anyone, that could be a warning that he is a liar. Hopefully, you have learned something from this. When something sounds to good to be true, it usually it not tru. Thanx
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 20
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:40:54 AM
You guys should just end it now. You obviously don't trust one another - you're insecure about him leaving you, and he's insecure about making any committment to being in a serious relationship with you.

The only thing that could change any of that (if it's at all meant to be changed) would be incredibly OPEN communication. Where you're honest about your fears, but you can't do that if you're not being honest with yourself.

If you think about how you're feeling about this... about being in a relationship with someone you don't trust, then take some time for YOU and think about if that's what you want to feel when you've committed yourself to someone. If you can't get past it, then you need to do some serious evaluation about how you view yourself, and what you think you're worth. I'm going to assume your worth more than being with someone who is a liar (whether or not it's the truth).

I'm in the same place. You have to learn how to trust yourself before you can learn to trust other people, and that means listening to the voice that's whispering to you "something doesn't feel right about this...".
 marj spirits
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 21
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:03:59 AM
hi..he isnt fact hes so confident he has guts for doing so....the perfect description for that guy is that.he's a liar...womanizer too i guess..if he does respect you and love you he will do everything to please you..and wont hurt you..well these dating sites are just dating sites i mean if he is really inlove with you...these doesnt matter at all for him now that he have you.erasing and leaving these dating site wont hurt at all as long as youre doing it for the one you love...should have been that way but hes doing the opposite....his excuses are not acceptable for a a one man woman like me..i know u are too thats why u feel that way...were on the same situation and you know what these kind of men dont deserve us...there are far better in store for us..dont cry girl you can make it.....God bless
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 22
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:11:23 AM
It's possible he's just insecure and afraid you'll dump him, and wants to keep his options open.
 Flipper Jones
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 24
POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/27/2008 7:22:09 PM
OP: What does your heart tell you?

I don't think I'd trust him, I've seen it to many times.....actions speak louder than words. If he cares he'd take the risk, and if you break up with him then he can start looking again. Maybe I'm old fashioned.....but that's the way I'd do it.
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 25
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POF liar or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:08:27 AM
Sounds like a liar to me. He's obviously not 100% committed to this relationship if he's making back-up plans already. It's a bad sign when someone does this in the early stages of a new relationship. Wouldn't he have needed time to get over his ex's before moving on to someone new if was truly broken hearted over them? Seems like he was the one doing the hearbreaking with his revolving door approach.
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