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 Tyna
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 26
Cheating or not!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i have to say that it is cheating because if you "know" the relationship is about to end, then i say end it.....if you believe there is a chance then that energy that is being used to check out other prospects should be invested in trying to make it work otherwise its only fair to terminate it!
 leafslady
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 27
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:46:28 PM
If you want to end the relationship..then do it before going on to the next one.

To do otherwise is simply gutless..
 Gem38
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 28
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 2:58:33 AM
Yes it is. End it.
 Scousekiss
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 29
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 3:04:29 AM
Hmm i dont think so.. as long as its just searching.
 rutheone79
Joined: 2/13/2005
Msg: 30
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 3:09:09 AM
i would say that if you are just looking and not really dating or doing any other physical activity with someone, then it is not considered cheating.. is it right.. maybe, maybe not.. i guess it depends on the person.
 jimi77
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 31
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 6:17:51 PM

When someone know's a relationship is ending
yes but do both sides know?

many times this is not the case.. plus you destroy the person on the reciving end. and flood them with questions of .. was this going on all the time? for how long? was it becasue i left the toilet seat up a time or two? my my package to big?
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 32
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 6:32:46 PM
You should end the realtionship first if BOTH of you are not happy, and then start looking for somebody new.

But not before you end the realtionship because bascily that would still be like, you'r cheating on the other person because you never ended all ties with that person.

Make sure you KNOW how the other person feel's about the realtionship and if they are not happy and you BOTH know you will never be, happy with eachother than "both" of you should
find somebody who will make you "both" happy but could still remain friend's.
 lsmatrix
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 33
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 6:38:26 PM
hmm I dont consider it cheating...talking but touching..on the other hand is a different story...
 ModelingAgent
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:58:10 PM
Well its certainly isn't right looking for someone before you break up, or seperate, but it isn't cheating unless you actually start seeing someone else. Then what happens later if you find out maybe you made a mistake? I mean can you be sure its over when you are wasting your energy on looking for someone new and shutting this person out instead of maybe trying to put a little of that energy into your relationship and see if it can't work, or at least make sure its really over? If it them break up and move on. Don't risk hurting them even more if they discover what you did, or are doing. Its not fair to them no matter what you call it.

As an example I was seeing this woman, we started sleeping together from the start of the relationship. We had spent some weekends together and I was, as she was also under the impression we were an item, dating exclusively. Well she had this male friend for years who was and still is crazy for her. When we got together she was recently divorced but hadn't been sexual with X husband in something like 4 years. She cheated on him during that time but in the last 2 years of the marriage. Well she never saw a future with these guys though they remained friends. But with me she saw a future or thought she did. And thought she loved me, but in order to be sure and make sure she wasn't just jumping into something or making a mistake she did somthing really stupid! I mean really stupid! She slept with the guy who had been crazy for her for years to see if there was something there which she had told before this she wasn't attracted to him anything more then mentally. Well she proved herself right. But when I found out, which I did, it created a trust issue. This is cheating in my book no matter what reason she did it for! And the fact she hide it from me made it worse. Even though some of you wouldn't consider this cheating you have to admit it certainly wasn't right of her. FYI I forgave her and we spent the next 3 years together, parted and are still best friends.

I don't know why some people jump from one relationship to another. I have always taken some time in between relationships even when I knew there was someone who was as they waiting in the wings waiting for me to be single again. Sure I know some of the reasons people do it, but it doesn't make it right. And to start looking for the next guy or girl in a failing relationship? What does say about you to the person you may hook up with if they knew or found out? I would personally avoid someone like this like a plague, or dump them because if they did it to someone else they may be able to do it to me.

Maybe my view is considered narrow minded by some. But hey it is my opinion only after all.

Be well,
John
 CountrySugar
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 35
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 8:20:30 PM
If it's ending and you both are aware of that, then what's the hold up, end it, and move on..Then begin your search..
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 36
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 8:52:53 PM
You may even find somebody better and find somebody who you acturly, click with and care about more than you ever thought was possible.

It's not "easy" moveing on or getting over somebody but maybe you do deserve better,
because as well know each and everyone of us deserve's to be H.A.P.P.Y.



Best of luck to you and with,
you'r whole situration.
 hee_haww
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 37
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:05:46 PM
End your relationship with the other, and then move on,that way you would not have to consider it cheating ,as you would then be single. LOL... Are you the someone that knows ?
or is he the some one who knows? How many people are doing this? a couple a million i bet
I grow so tired of the human race itself as the*** we are.Even the Doves stay with their partner for life.
 froghoney
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 38
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:36:06 PM
cheating is if your still with that person, at heart has nothing to do with it, if that person thinks your still together then you are. how would you feel if soemone did that to you
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 39
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:59:12 PM
"froghoney"


we ALL have been done this way and we all know how it feel's to have
somebody we love/care about cheat on, us or sleep around on us.

and some of us even turn around and do the same to the one who's cheated
or has slept around on us because, we think "well he/she did it first so why can't i".

but we all learn the hard way and we do thing's before it's truly thought out all
the way and instead of, not doing the same as they did we just do it because
most of us figure that will "SHOW" the other one how much it truly hurt's.
 Sienna_leigh
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 40
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 10:03:53 PM
Of course it's cheating - if a person feels their relationship is ending, then be an adult and end it officially - then pursue someone else. This seems like a no-brainer to me. It's incredible how people can try to look for convenient loopholes to sneak around and be deceitful.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 41
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 10:18:31 PM
cheating and sleeping around is one of the stupidest thing's that could
ever go on in any of our live's cheating, will never get us anywhere.

be honest to YOURselve and to the ONE you love and
who you, are with do not hide thing's from him or her.
 ousu
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 42
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:06:57 AM
Sign of weakness, perhaps... incapacity to take responsability - like at job: you take a task and when you do not feel like anymore you just let it be unfinished, no matter what will be consequences from other people's perspective. - At least very self-serving and often also cowardly.
 alwatts
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 43
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/24/2006 4:19:13 AM
I'll agree to rude and disrespectful. Let me add to it inconsiderate and self-centered. As it was done to me recently, she said "I should have told you sooner" (over the phone), amoung other things. Sure, i was at an emotional loss and i told her how i felt. I said " aren't you feeling any pain from this?" and she said the only reason she felt any pain was because i was feeling hurt. So, all i could really say was, I'm not going to be the one to stand in your way, i'm not going to call you up and i won't just be dropping by. CHEATING, i just don't know, don't really want to dwell on it anymore and i kind of like the idea of things were just moving on. aw
 LiL Bohemian
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 44
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/24/2006 6:11:21 AM
Its definately cheating...

Rebounding BEFORE they have even left the first relationship?

A person is either in a relationship or they are not. If its not working, or is ending, then end it. Nice n clean.

Then the departing partner is free to look for someone else.

Only co-dependant people who cannot be alone will do the 'overlap' thing. And if they are that needy who would want to be with them anyway? Only another unhealthy person.
 Leesa911
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 45
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:56:25 PM
Cheating is cheating as long as you are persueing another person or looking to pursue another at the same time as you have a viable relationship going on with someone else. PERIOD!!!
 Leesa911
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 46
quote
Posted: 4/6/2006 9:44:00 PM
you might need some intense personal "therapy" after all of that
 bruiseviolet
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 47
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/6/2006 10:08:08 PM
ususally a person leaves the relationship at least two weeks before they tell the other person. IF you're in a relationship you don't want to be in anymore JUST END IT and then go find someone else. why the heck are you worrying about it being cheating? Just friggen end it and move on. You shouldn't even be worrying about this.
 profesor
Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 48
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/6/2006 10:33:13 PM
the end is niea. what u want is wht u get. but thew other in the relation should be given the time to adjusty
 wondernurse
Joined: 11/3/2004
Msg: 49
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/6/2006 11:46:08 PM
Yep...it's cheating alright.
 PamelaRae
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 50
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/6/2006 11:58:37 PM
You already know the answer t0 that: You have not ended it and you are 'cheating'.




Uhhh....
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