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Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 6
Cheating or not!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok, I gotta ask this question. When someone know's a relationship is ending, is searching for a new partner before you actually break up considered cheating?

I think so....If you're not happy with you're presnt SO,break it off before you start looking for someone else...

I think it's shows poor character to shop around while still with someone....Not to mention lack of morals....

Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:06:04 AM

Does a monkey let go of a branch without having a new branch firmly grasped?

Heck no.

There would be dead monkeys all over the jungle floor.

So, find that new guy first, if well, you want to be a monkey.
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 13
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 12:40:12 PM
like duhhhhhh!!!! even though you are on the way to splitz ville you are still tech. together DORK!!!
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 14
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 2:41:22 PM
not to put guilt on any one, but i say yes it is cheating.. why? becasue you made a promise to that person with your heart, body, and actions...until you end the relationship i belive thoughs are still in effect..that person have faith and trust in you.. it damages you, and that person... end it first..
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 15
view profile
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 2:45:55 PM
It is self absorbed and dishonest by any definiton let alone that of "cheating" I would suggest.
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 18
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 3:41:11 PM
Ditto on the lack of morals. Very poor taste.
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 20
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 3:56:00 PM
I couldn't imagine being with someone, then looking for someone new, getting all excited, then going back home to old faithful and put on an act. Couldn't do it.
I'd break up, sleep alone and jerk off for a few weeks, then head back out and look for someone new.
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 22
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:18:12 PM
If you know it's ending go ahead and break it off. That way you don't have to worry about it and the guy doesn't feel like you've been jerkin his chain for the past couple of weeks.
Joined: 2/13/2005
Msg: 27
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 3:09:09 AM
i would say that if you are just looking and not really dating or doing any other physical activity with someone, then it is not considered cheating.. is it right.. maybe, maybe not.. i guess it depends on the person.
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 28
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 6:17:51 PM

When someone know's a relationship is ending
yes but do both sides know?

many times this is not the case.. plus you destroy the person on the reciving end. and flood them with questions of .. was this going on all the time? for how long? was it becasue i left the toilet seat up a time or two? my my package to big?
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 29
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 6:32:46 PM
You should end the realtionship first if BOTH of you are not happy, and then start looking for somebody new.

But not before you end the realtionship because bascily that would still be like, you'r cheating on the other person because you never ended all ties with that person.

Make sure you KNOW how the other person feel's about the realtionship and if they are not happy and you BOTH know you will never be, happy with eachother than "both" of you should
find somebody who will make you "both" happy but could still remain friend's.
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 30
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 6:38:26 PM
hmm I dont consider it cheating...talking but touching..on the other hand is a different story...
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 31
view profile
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:58:10 PM
Well its certainly isn't right looking for someone before you break up, or seperate, but it isn't cheating unless you actually start seeing someone else. Then what happens later if you find out maybe you made a mistake? I mean can you be sure its over when you are wasting your energy on looking for someone new and shutting this person out instead of maybe trying to put a little of that energy into your relationship and see if it can't work, or at least make sure its really over? If it them break up and move on. Don't risk hurting them even more if they discover what you did, or are doing. Its not fair to them no matter what you call it.

As an example I was seeing this woman, we started sleeping together from the start of the relationship. We had spent some weekends together and I was, as she was also under the impression we were an item, dating exclusively. Well she had this male friend for years who was and still is crazy for her. When we got together she was recently divorced but hadn't been sexual with X husband in something like 4 years. She cheated on him during that time but in the last 2 years of the marriage. Well she never saw a future with these guys though they remained friends. But with me she saw a future or thought she did. And thought she loved me, but in order to be sure and make sure she wasn't just jumping into something or making a mistake she did somthing really stupid! I mean really stupid! She slept with the guy who had been crazy for her for years to see if there was something there which she had told before this she wasn't attracted to him anything more then mentally. Well she proved herself right. But when I found out, which I did, it created a trust issue. This is cheating in my book no matter what reason she did it for! And the fact she hide it from me made it worse. Even though some of you wouldn't consider this cheating you have to admit it certainly wasn't right of her. FYI I forgave her and we spent the next 3 years together, parted and are still best friends.

I don't know why some people jump from one relationship to another. I have always taken some time in between relationships even when I knew there was someone who was as they waiting in the wings waiting for me to be single again. Sure I know some of the reasons people do it, but it doesn't make it right. And to start looking for the next guy or girl in a failing relationship? What does say about you to the person you may hook up with if they knew or found out? I would personally avoid someone like this like a plague, or dump them because if they did it to someone else they may be able to do it to me.

Maybe my view is considered narrow minded by some. But hey it is my opinion only after all.

Be well,
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 33
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 8:52:53 PM
You may even find somebody better and find somebody who you acturly, click with and care about more than you ever thought was possible.

It's not "easy" moveing on or getting over somebody but maybe you do deserve better,
because as well know each and everyone of us deserve's to be H.A.P.P.Y.

Best of luck to you and with,
you'r whole situration.
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 34
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:05:46 PM
End your relationship with the other, and then move on,that way you would not have to consider it cheating ,as you would then be single. LOL... Are you the someone that knows ?
or is he the some one who knows? How many people are doing this? a couple a million i bet
I grow so tired of the human race itself as the*** we are.Even the Doves stay with their partner for life.
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 35
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:36:06 PM
cheating is if your still with that person, at heart has nothing to do with it, if that person thinks your still together then you are. how would you feel if soemone did that to you
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 36
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:59:12 PM

we ALL have been done this way and we all know how it feel's to have
somebody we love/care about cheat on, us or sleep around on us.

and some of us even turn around and do the same to the one who's cheated
or has slept around on us because, we think "well he/she did it first so why can't i".

but we all learn the hard way and we do thing's before it's truly thought out all
the way and instead of, not doing the same as they did we just do it because
most of us figure that will "SHOW" the other one how much it truly hurt's.
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 38
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/23/2006 10:18:31 PM
cheating and sleeping around is one of the stupidest thing's that could
ever go on in any of our live's cheating, will never get us anywhere.

be honest to YOURselve and to the ONE you love and
who you, are with do not hide thing's from him or her.
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 39
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/24/2006 4:19:13 AM
I'll agree to rude and disrespectful. Let me add to it inconsiderate and self-centered. As it was done to me recently, she said "I should have told you sooner" (over the phone), amoung other things. Sure, i was at an emotional loss and i told her how i felt. I said " aren't you feeling any pain from this?" and she said the only reason she felt any pain was because i was feeling hurt. So, all i could really say was, I'm not going to be the one to stand in your way, i'm not going to call you up and i won't just be dropping by. CHEATING, i just don't know, don't really want to dwell on it anymore and i kind of like the idea of things were just moving on. aw
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 41
Cheating or not!
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:56:25 PM
Cheating is cheating as long as you are persueing another person or looking to pursue another at the same time as you have a viable relationship going on with someone else. PERIOD!!!
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 42
Posted: 4/6/2006 9:44:00 PM
you might need some intense personal "therapy" after all of that
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 43
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/6/2006 10:08:08 PM
ususally a person leaves the relationship at least two weeks before they tell the other person. IF you're in a relationship you don't want to be in anymore JUST END IT and then go find someone else. why the heck are you worrying about it being cheating? Just friggen end it and move on. You shouldn't even be worrying about this.
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 48
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/7/2006 12:24:52 AM
Lucky you Pam. I agree that it's cheating. No different from being married to somebody and "cheating" before you file the divorce papers. Cheating is cheating.

Besides that, who would want to start a relationship with somebody who is already dating somebody else?
Joined: 6/17/2004
Msg: 49
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/7/2006 2:38:29 AM
I don't think it is... I've been "tecnicaly" in a relationship for almost two years... If you feel it isn't gunna work... Do what i've been tring to do... shop around... as long as you don't do anything... BUT if you are going to break it off... the only thing you need to worry about is the other guy
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 50
view profile
Cheating or not!
Posted: 4/7/2006 7:35:22 AM
Looking for someone else if you aren't happy before you have had a chance to communicate what you need from the person you are with, is scuzzy.The problem isn't always the other person and they may not have any idea what your needs and desires are.How well was it communicated? Hopping from relationship to relationship doesn't teach a person very much and leaves a trail of pain behind. It isn't always just finding the right person but also becoming the right person.To say it wasn't the right one can be justification and evasion of personal responsibility of the choice to care and failure of personal growth in the relationship.When you have turned over every stone and you know you have done everything, you will be able to deal not only with yourself but the hurt you will cause another person. In the end, you are the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror.Have dignity and respect for the other person and for yourself.Take it from an old bird like me!!
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