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 AUTHOR
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 26
I will review your profile... Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Kaeto,
Not much I can add to yours. It is pretty well-written, concise. You give a good description of yourself and what you are looking for. You don't need to state your age in your opening line as it is already stated in the upper part of the profile.

A couple more pics would be nice.... other than that, I would say you are good to go!

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 27
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:47:34 AM
McLove,

Just a couple of suggestions:

My kids come first with me above all else, so if you don't like kids don't bother reading the rest of this

I think this sounds a bit better:
"My kids come first with me above all else, so I am hoping to meet someone who is understanding of the commitment that comes with fatherhood."

Even though I do have a sense of humor I don't find enjoyment in other people's suffering.

How about:
"I do have a sense of humor, but never at the risk of hurting another's feelings"

Just looking for a woman that can have a civil conversation. Even when we disagree, yelling and screaming isn't my scene.

or:
"I believe in open communication and that honest, open discussion is the key to resolving even the smallest disagreements in a relationship."

I am tired of all the high school games, always hiding things when not needed. I want something real and sombody that can be real.

I think you should just take this out. It's an over-used line, the "no games" thing. NOBODY wants games and EVERYBODY wants someone REAL. I think it goes without saying.

All the above suggested changes are simply to change some of the negativity that was coming across and give your profile a bit more of a positive feel.

Hope that helps.

Good luck!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 28
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:53:36 AM
JP -
Not bad but needs a bit of fleshing out. You say you are outgoing and humourous.. can you give us some examples of that? Some funny or interesting little stories about yourself that reflect those parts of your personality? You must have some from teaching all those little kids!!

Your pics are ok - not great, but ok. If you could get one as clear as your main pic but with a big smile, that would be perfect.

Oh, and I think it's against the rules to put your email address on your profile, so you might want to take that out.

Good luck!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 29
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 8:00:23 AM
Goode -
Ok - A few things here:

First of all, typing in all CAPS is a big no-no. It's hard on the eyes and it's considered to be "shouting". Please re-type in lowercase and capitalize where necessary.

Next, please cut and paste your profile into Word or some other program with a spell-checker and correct all your spelling errors.. there are a lot of them. For example "freind" should be "friend", "deminish" should be "diminish". Spelling COUNTS! Your grammar needs a little work too.

Your pics are not great. Try having a friend take a couple of good clear shots of you SMILING and perhaps taking part in an activity that you enjoy... DJ'ing perhaps??

Just a little work and you should be all set to go!

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 30
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 8:09:11 AM
Crimson -
Pretty good profile.. just a couple of small things:

I would take out this line:
Hows it going everyone? I'm doing just fine. So... You want to know a little bit about me eh? Where to start... well,

It's an unnecessary sentence.

You mention your sense of humour.. it's always nice to read a little example of that to demonstrate your funny side. Anecdotal, funny or interesting tidbits will make your profile stand out from the rest and show your unique personality.

Your pics are not the best. Pics are usually the first thing people look at before deciding whether to read or not. I would switch your main pic for the one showing your smiling face and perhaps add a couple more of you.

Good luck!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 31
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:04:45 AM
JP -
Ouch!! That must have hurt!! LOL, is that the reason she is now an EXgf??

Much better and nice pic!!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 32
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:19:03 PM
Avinash-

Wow.. you are very brave, venturing out into the online dating world so far from home! But I think you could add a bit more SPICE to your profile. It's pretty bland... Tell us why you came all the way from India to study at Princeton! What are you studying? You havent said much about the type of woman you are looking for.. what could she expect on a date with you? Be creative, let your personality shine through... be unique and make yourself stand out from the millions here!

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 33
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:27:21 PM
Well.. CandyAss, I'm stumped on this one! You are cute, young, single, well-spoken, funny and seem genuine! I don't know why they wouldn't be knocking down your door unless it's just a small market in Brantford! The only thing I can see that's missing is what you are looking for in a potential date.. what are some things you find attractive/appealing in a woman.

Other than that, all I can say is keep trying, be patient and I'm sure the right one will come along!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 34
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:38:39 PM
Witty -
I'm an easy going, funny, nice guy. Maybe thats why I can't seem to meet my speacial someone. lol.

Please take that line out.. it's sounds sad and negative. That's NOT how you want to start out! The "poor me, I'm a nice guy but no-one wants me" lament is not what women want to hear. They would much rather you tell what makes you a funny, "witty" or nice guy. Give us some examples that demonstrate who you are.

I appreciate that you are a quiet, reserved person but you really need to rev this up a bit because there's not much there right now that's exciting or intriguing.

Give it another try and I'm sure you will be more successful.

Good luck
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 35
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:46:09 PM
OK Foo-

Your profile is pretty good. But personally.. I never read poems or songs lyrics that people put in their profiles.. I think it's just a waste of space and when it takes up SO much space it tends to make me think that the person just couldn't be bothered to write more about themselves. Soo.. I would take that out.

Also, that pic of you having beer poured down your throat is NOT attractive or appealing at ALL. In fact I think that it may scare some women away. I would get rid of that too.

Hope that helps!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 36
OOOH! MY TURN!!!
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:53:50 PM
Pinko -

You are looking for someone with a "light-hearted sense of humour" but your description of yourself makes you sound very intense, serious and like someone who doesn't know how to relax, and laugh and enjoy yourself!
It's WAAAY too heavy on the politicizin' and not enough on the socializin'! How's THAT for a rhyme for ya! LOL

Lighten up a bit and tell us why you're fun to hang out with .. you ARE fun to hang out with..right??

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 37
OOOH! MY TURN!!!
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:04:48 AM
Pinko - much better and more fun to read.

Good luck!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 38
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:54:21 AM
TodayIsTheBeginning -
Couple of "negative" things I think you should take out.
- I hate this part....
Yes, OK.. lots of people don't enjoy writing about themselves, but no need to say it.

- I do not tolerate abuse...
Change it something sounding a bit more positive as in "I believe in treating others with compassion and respect"

- If you're looking for headgames or money bye-bye....
Just delete this entire sentence... too many people say this in their profiles and it's really just a given.. NO-ONE wants someone like that! It just sounds bitter and negative.

Other than those points... do a spell check, you have a few spelling errors.

Hope that helps.. good luck!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 39
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:00:28 AM
16Hours -
Wow - GREAT profile! A nice read, funny, intelligent and unique. I like it!! I really can't see anything wrong with it. If I had to be picky, I would say again, as I have said to others, take out the reference to anything negative.. like "whirlwind burnouts, games" etc. I really dont think its necessary to state that.

All in all.. you could be the Poster Boy for how to write a great profiles!!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 40
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:05:52 AM
Brad -
It's WAAAAAY too long! You have written some good stuff here, but there is a LOT of detail that you don't need to share right away. Save something to talk about on your first date!

For example.. all the detail about your kids, your music prefernces, your travel, etc. What you have written is all interesting and tells a lot about you. But I don't think many people are going to sit and read the WHOLE thing.... leave her wanting to know more, instead of telling your whole life story here!!

Also change your main pic to the one with you alone. The one you have now with your buddy is okay, but I don't think anyone should use a group shot as their main pic.

Hope that helps!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 41
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:13:07 AM
Rare Breed-

First of all.. get a pic of YOU alone. A lot of people look at the pic first and if it's not clear right away WHO you are in the pic, they just move right on. Your other pics make NO sense at all, what is with the pic of a warehouse or something? Get some more pics of YOU and take out the junk.

Second, your heading "nothing but trouble"... change that.. it's not exactly a good selling point is it??

Third, take out the reference to you being 25 but acting like a 12 year old. No woman wants a grown man who acts like a little boy.

Finally, saying you are stubborn, have a temper and an "I don't care attitude" isn't going to win you any fans either. You need to change THAT right away.

Say more about what you enjoy doing and your interests and what you are looking for in a woman.

Your profile needs some work if you want to be successful here!

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 42
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 11:09:15 AM
OK well.. you asked for input.
Yes, there are shallow people everywhere.. we all KNOW that.

One review... thats it.

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 43
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:13:07 PM
Amy-

You're a cute Yorkshire lass with a cute profile. I dont see anything problem with what you have presented here. You're 20 yrs old, get out there girl and meet some people and have fun!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 44
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:24:59 PM
Welcome To My World -

ummmm... What "world" is that anyway?? Some far off planet you are from?? That has to be the MOST bizarre profile I have read in a long time. WTF is all that about your Grandmother and your cousin Ray (whom you seem to have some strange obsession with) and the cottage and fishing and peasants???? And WHAT is an "MLT/Doffer"????

No pics and a bizarre, rambling story that really has no point. I don't even know where to start.. all I can say is sorry, you are beyond my help.

I think the mother ship is calling....
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 45
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:30:17 PM
Ex Vike -
Pretty good but it's a little choppy and hard to read. I would try making full sentences, starting with capitals and ending with periods instead of all these............... in between every statement. Break it up into a couple of paragraphs with proper punctuation and lose the reference to "doesn't play games" It's an over-used and meaningless statement, who DOES want that??? (God I get tired of repeating this!)

Good luck!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 46
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:37:10 PM
Bzyby27-

Wow! Finally! Someone who GETS it! If I had to post an example of a well-written, intelligent, snappy, interesting and GREAT profile.. I would pick yours! You convey your personality really well. You are concise, straight-forward and paint a clear picture of yourself and what you are looking for! Only thing I would say could be better would be to add a couple more pics of yourself to go along with that great image you have presented with your words.... Great job!
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 47
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:48:57 PM
Last Romeo -

It's not bad it's just TOOOOO long! Shorten it a LOT. Take out the lists of love, hate, goals, admire, etc. You can condense all these into general statements and save the detail for the first date! You want to have something to talk about when you meet right? So don't give it all away here... just write enough that makes her want to MEET you to learn more.

Personally I dont care for profiles with all the silly emoticons, they are distracting and unnecessary. I would delete those.

Your third pic should be your main pic as it's brighter and much better than the others. Also, I think it's against the rules to post your email address, so you might want to take that out.

Hope that helps!

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 48
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:58:43 PM
LeoWyatt-

Hmmmm, well I see problems here for sure.

1) You are unemployed (but at least you are honest about it so thats a plus I suppose)
2) You are looking for an Intimate Encounter but you talk about holding hands and kissing in public and you want children.. which I don't think exactly matches with what you are looking for.
3) You want someone who shares your interests which are listed as fishing and reading and listening to the rain... not exactly a big range there huh?
4) Are you planning to have this Intimate Encounter while on a fishing trip but with a few books to keep you occupied if the fish aren't biting and it's raining???
5) You can't spell.

I can't help you... it's just too much work, and it's not my job.

Good luck.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 49
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:15:42 PM
FilmScorpio -

Wow- for someone who says he's an editor.. I would have thought you would have done some SERIOUS editing here! I hate to break it to you, but NO-ONE is going to sit and read through these lists, and lists and yet MORE endless lists!! Who cares???? Why all the detail about your heritage going back generations?? Again.... who cares??

It's ALL just LISTS!!! And it's BORING!! This, for example:

The greatest films are from the silent age, 30's, 40's, and 50's. The 60's had many good films, the 70's had a few less, and the 80's even less. The number of quality films made in each decade has been in steep decline since the 60's, and current movies these days are mostly all trash and crap.


Come on guy!! You wrote ONE measly sentence about who you want to meet and the rest is just boring, mundane blathering about YOU and YOUR lists!!!

Please... for an supposed English Major and playwright/screenwriter SURELY you could do better than this YAWNFEST??

I give up.

P.S. I hope you find my review of your profile as amusing as you did my review of Leo's. Somehow I doubt it.
 LizBets
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 50
I will review your profile...
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:29:44 PM
Holy mother of god... IF she gets through your excruciatingly LOOOONG "LIST-LIKE" description of yourself, she won't be able to TAKE anymore! She'll be ASLEEP!

Having a list of 2 or 3 favourite movies or books is ok and gives enough of an idea of your tastes.. but YOU??? You list the entire library!! I'm telling you NO-ONE is going to read ALL THAT.

I'm tired now.
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