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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 26
Divorced and dating, the later yearsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Excuse me??? Do I look "old"?? OP - please take a look at my picture, do you see saggy, wrinkly skin, and where I'm hunched back?? God almighty, you're two years older than I am, and you look 10 years older than me..

It doesn't matter if you're young or old; short or tall; heavy or slim; rich or broke; what matters if you are a negative, critical person, who would want to date you... OP - I suggest you ask yourself this personal question, and that would be: would you date you? Face the music bucko, everyone of us will age, some of us will do it kicking and screaming all the way to the plastic surgeon, others will age with grace and dignity...

If you're over the age of 21, you will have some "baggage" or what I prefer life experience... Anyone out there saying differently, that in itself is a red flag!

Dump the anger, dump the negativity, embrace age and most of all have fun!
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 27
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:08:34 PM
Um, quite frankly....Women mature faster than men...And from what i have seen, women age much more gracefully than us guys
 Social Butterfly5
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 28
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:25:36 PM
Personally, just recently separated and I'm window shopping at the moment but to be truthful window shopping is just getting lame. I miss the comforts of what I had. And I hate the fact that because he left, that I am also left with this baggage because of his decision.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 29
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Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:42:12 PM
Actually, my experience after a mid-life divorce has been exceptionally positive. It took perhaps six months to really get back to being 100 percent, but once that happened my life took off like a space shuttle lift off.

I'd never been a very self-confident person, and was always the type of man that wound up with women that had typically been interested in me for months - except I was totally clueless. That centered on my low self-esteem, and was probably my greatest self imposed limitation.

After I dropped that, it became so much easier. I'd never gotten flirting, and suddenly realized I was really good at it - and enjoyed it. I'd never really enjoyed shopping for clothes for myself, and discovered that too. I developed my own style, and it works for me.

For the first time in my life, I started approaching women who were strangers. I took an active approach, and found it was a lot easier than I had ever expected. Avoiding "pick-up" lines, I started listening to my heart, and saying what I felt.

Did I get rejected ?


Most of the times those rejections were not that bad. Surprisingly, I'd say about 50 percent of the time I get a yes, and that's with a complete stranger.

I've never had a "bad" date, and have met and dated a fairly large number of women, more than I had in the entire rest of my life.They ranged in age from about 29-45, and I've had a lot of good conversations - and great times.

I just haven't found someone that feels the same way I do about things. That will come, and it's simply a matter of time.

Like life, dating and the success you have with it begins with the approach you take with it. If you are just looking to get laid, or want someone in your life because you are lonely - it typically won't be that rewarding.

If you just enjoy people's company, and life - then you start to rock !

Good luck.
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 30
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Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:56:25 PM
I actually find women after forty to be exceptionally interesting. They typically have a much better understanding of their sexuality, and are much more comfortable with themselves.

I've always been like that. When I was in my mid-twenties, I dated a woman that was in her mid-thirties. She really opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I've never considered dating to be about reproduction, since I never really wanted children.
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 31
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 3/29/2006 7:13:49 PM
OP - some of us have good jeans and some of us have good genes! I have great genes, but my other jeans don't quite look like they did when I was 20 years old... That's the least of my concern, because for the wonderful wisdom that God has granted me and also life's experiences, I wouldn't trade these "later" years in for the earlier years.. We can either view dating and getting older as opportunity or as a challenge.. It goes hand in hand with the glass is either half full or half empty..
Joined: 10/24/2007
Msg: 32
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:01:49 AM
I know this is an old post...but I wanted to respond...
spenthan or tommhan or Tommy...did you not read your respones back in 2006? Evidently not. Go back ..... check 'em out agian...especially these 3:

Only meaning to point out that sometimes people have lots more baggage than
they seem to think they have.
Nobody is going to be perfect and a person has to be realistic to find a comaptible
partner.... not base them on dreams and hopes but reality too
Okay, so first of all...guess what! To me, you look old. To me, most people your age look old. Why? Cause you're getting OLDER!! And I don't mean hag in the dilapidated house with 50 cats old; just mature. Also, since when is being "mushy" solely a female characteristic? I have been out with guys who have gotten so lovey-dovey romantic it made me want to vomit; and I can also safely say that they were about as OUT of touch with their feminine sides as they could get. Also, why is it unattractive for a woman to tell you what she wants? No one wants to get into a relationship with someone whose characteristics turn them off. They're doing you a favor by telling you what they want. Because it may be quite possible that they don't want....YOU! I think dating will become much less of a challenge for you when you realize that you cannot have the mind of a 20-yr old in the body of a 50-yr old. If you want to have a friendship and relationship with somebody, you're going to have to look past the physical, accept someone for who they are and MOST IMPORTANTLY...GIVE 'EM A CHANCE!

P.S. Everyone has baggage, it just depends on how they deal with it. You're
**lol .... is that Natalie?
As far a “baggage” goes, much of that is life experience and a good thing. Sometimes we improperly label someone having a poor attitude about the opposite sex as having too much baggage and that probably reflects as much back on us as on the person we are talking about.
**the last part bears repeating " that probably reflects as much back on us as on the person we are talking about. "
** I'm not being mean ... I'm not 'wacko' [red flag when a guy uses that term -- but I didn't pay attention] ... I'm serious about the things these people said being able to help you if you will/can open your eyes to it!
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