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 jaybird1921
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 324
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship? Page 4 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
I can only speak for my self. I think it is wonderful when two people can meet and develop chemistry so fast. Don't know why women seem to think that sex on the first date makes them a slut. It is just the opposite with me. If they care that much about me to have sex, it makes my love for them greater.
 neocompleat
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 325
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 5/9/2007 6:53:16 PM
i seriously do not get the folks in relationships, that troll on dating sites...

i know, they have ALL made lasting friendships here, etc...

the real reason is, they troll just incase they can trade up... so horrendously and overtly obvious....
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 340
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:46:55 PM
No.
Met my ex in a bar, we went to her place and-
got divorced 14 years later.
We still talk, I'm her financial advisor and POA.
 Refinedsillyguy
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 341
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:54:05 PM
hahah great story..
Ya it just goes to show. If two people really like eachother, and want a relationship. Then sex on the first date doesnt change anything. Although, It would be harder to develop a trusting friendship. The key to long lasting relationship.
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 343
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2008 11:36:44 PM
What type of relationship would you be seeking- if other than possible FWB type or a one night stand...then YES! YES! YES!
 Chagal116
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 344
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/10/2008 12:28:41 AM
I'm glad that I follow my rule of getting to know somone first.... Having experianced both sides of that fence, there is lust, or chemistry whatever you want to call it then there is like, and Love. I chose the Like - Love route.... lasts longer. I found if you really don't know someone you can find yourself with issues you didn't want . Having sex with someone you really have feelings for only makes it better..... I don't think you know enought about a persons motive even if there is chemistry on the first date.....That makes them want a second date, doesn't it?
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 351
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2008 6:49:10 PM
I'm not taken, speak for yourself, not everyelse, I certaintly wouldn't be caught dead bumping uglies with some one on a first all the way on up to a committed relationship where the actual deal is sealed, why don't ya start with getting to know the person first, I don't think it will necessarily ruin it, but I wouldn't jump the gun to early, for me that means low standards
 dannyjc123
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 352
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2008 7:52:31 PM
I don't think having sex on the first date ****s up anything for the man its the woman that starts thinking maybe He thinks I am a hoe or less of me or something stupid and all comes down to how ****ing serious you really are and secure she feels. I know there are a lot of guys that will just think if she gave it to me easy on the first date then... and I thats the the type of guy that don't really think much of himself. Not me. There is a story that i omitted because i don't think its ready for public forum but at least i am giving my honest conclusive opinion. If you want the full version ask.
 Noebelle
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 353
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2008 8:34:53 PM
Yes yes and yes sex upon meeting someone for the first time makes you a whore and yes, it destroys all potential for a meaningful and lasting relationship.

Yep.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 355
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:00:24 PM
This is a very good and interesting question and I've come to the conclusion that YES, having sex too early, i.e., on the first date, might ruin one's chance. I can only speak from my own experience but anybody who's been "in the game" long enough will know. I also think that having sex on the first date too many times will make you expect that EVERY time.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 361
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2009 3:43:01 PM
My last GF and me we had a major make out on the the first date and had sex on the second date. That first time we had sex wasnt realy good lol.. We been togher for over six years. We broke up for a reason that had nothing to do with sex. We realy hit it off on the first date and sex was just what we felt like. It never even crossed my mind to think of her any less for having sex. If anything all i could think of was what a great girl and she enjoys and likes sex as much as i do... A man cant ask for more. It also showed that sex would be good. If you have hang up about sex to start with how much better would it be later??? Its not as im going to date a virgin and i hope she had sex and enjoy sex.. SO no a woman is not a slut cause she enjoy sex. If we have things in common and sex is good then i want her in my life.

Alex
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 366
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:38:08 PM
having sex soon after meeting is a voluntary and thought out act. if a man you meet is not a man you could imagine yourself married to that does not mean you immediately throw him overboard. he may have some other uses...sex, knowledge, advice , money, help around the house. marriage is a long-shot. few men are any good at it anyway. throw away the fairytales and start living.
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 371
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/2/2009 11:14:24 AM
I have 5 brothers, who all say, sex on the first date is great, but the woman is considered a slut who would sleep with anybody.

They say it is a double standard that they can live with, and women should have more respect for themselves.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
 enginebuilder55
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 375
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:36:04 PM
Let me thinik???? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!! why ruin a friendship that might turn into a relationship?
 Yankee_Girl
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 378
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:36:31 AM
No. While I don't think I'm the only woman who has sex on the first date, I may very be the only one who admits it.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 382
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:16:38 PM

I have 5 brothers, who all say, sex on the first date is great, but the woman is considered a slut who would sleep with anybody.

Would they think the same of you if you did it?


They say it is a double standard that they can live with, and women should have more respect for themselves.

I've had great relationships with women I've slept with on the first date, each one was a great, intelligent, engaging woman with plenty of self-respect and made up their own mind about when and with whom they slept with.


Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Meaning what? Sex is a commodity to be traded for marriage perhaps? After all, 'good girls' don't do it it without a ring on their finger?

To judge a woman in the fashion your idiot brothers have is just stupid. Their collective hypocracy is breathtaking.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 385
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:09:59 PM

This hackneyed saying claims that all women are chattel. I think we're rather more dynamic than a docile cow.

Sadly there are many women who still view themselves in this way, particularly the ones who measure their prospective mate's love and affection in monetary terms; 'he obviously doesn't love me unless the ring is expensive, or the wedding is huge, or the house is big, or he doesn't buy me enough trinkets'.

This attitude demeans both these women and the hapless men who buy into this arrangement.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 388
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2009 6:06:01 PM

I have never met a man who married a woman he slept with on the first date.

I did.


I bet if there is one out there, they didn't stay married...

We were married for 12 years, produced 3 beautiful sons and we remain friends.


Okay folks, I am sure I will get slammed for this one, but I really believe this.

Not at all, you have your preferences, as do all of us, I share many of them, from reading your profile, and not others.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 393
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 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 397
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:01:29 PM
These double standard topics annoy the hell out of me..... Why is it that (many) guys say that sex is just sex, but then place so much importance on when a woman will have sex or how many she has had sex with.? If it's "just" sex, as they say, then why do they think of women who indulge on the first date as skanks?

I can't understand the mindset of "If she fvcks on the first date she's a slut, but if i fvck her on the first date, i'm not. Or the "I could never trust a woman like that!!" WTF???? How is it the woman is untrustworthy for first date sex with you but you arent?? Kinda blows my mind.

I guess these threads sort out the narrow minded, archaic type of men a sexually liberated woman wouldn't waste her time with though..
 Refinedsillyguy
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 403
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/9/2009 10:59:36 PM
very true, having sex with someone, is the most intimate thing you can do. How is a couple supposed to know how well they will get along with eachother. Unless they have sex.

Altough, I must say.

Me personally, if I really like a girl, and want to have a relationship with the girl. I wouldn't have sex on the first date.
And for guys out there. If a girl says they really want to. Tell them you don't want to rush a good thing.

Relationships formed out of sex on the first date, are formed of a physical/sexual attraction only. It only a matter of time, before it turns into friendship, even if the sex hasn't slowed down.
 mercedes8
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 406
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/10/2009 7:53:11 PM
NOT having sex drove me crazy!!!! I wanted to pull my hair out!!!! I've been dealing with this issue for years....and guess what people....I finally had my pipes cleaned!!!!!! If it don't work out and move on, but don't forget to use condoms appropriately (Sooooo important). Now I'm free of this curse and I'm hungry 4 more Now I can finally get some peace and quiet and most importantly.....rest

Ding dong the wicked witch is dead, yeehawwww!
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 407
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:27:24 PM

This is my point. Have you ever met anyone who did that and stayed married until they died?

Well I haven't met too many people who are still together no matter what point in the dating process they slept together. If there's chemistry right off the bat I have no problem with it and the relationships I've had in the past have involved varying timeframes with regards first intimacies, so it's no hard and fast rule. It boils down to how it all feels between the two people concerned.


I suppose that means you got divorced?

Our divorce had nothing to do with when we first slept together, it had everything to do with attitudes towards money and the fact she found religion halfway through the marriage.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 412
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 3/14/2009 2:48:07 AM
If sexual compatibility is important to you because you plan on having it at least somewhat frequently in the relationship? Then it makes sense to rule out all deal breakers as quickly as possible. No point in wasting a bunch of time on someone you cn't tolerate in bed!
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