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 thewifey
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 784
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship? Page 40 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
I had sex with my husband and all boyfriends the first date
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 785
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/6/2011 5:21:45 PM

I had sex with my husband and all boyfriends the first date



I'm fairly sure you could have worded that MUCH more betterly

When I first read it the thought that crossed my mind was "wow, that must have been some night"
 billdasailor
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 786
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/6/2011 9:16:41 PM
I believe so. so far my experience with women is that they have always wanted sex either immediately or on a second date. none of those relationships ever worked out. I suggest waiting unless that is all you want.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 787
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 1:49:07 AM
^^^What you mean is that since sex on first date hasn't worked for you ...women should hold out on YOU... your experience isn't universal!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 788
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 11:41:26 AM

I believe so. so far my experience with women is that they have always wanted sex either immediately or on a second date. none of those relationships ever worked out. I suggest waiting unless that is all you want



To be completely honest, if everytime I'd had sex with somebody early on it never went anywhere I'd be more focused on what I was doing in the sack that was putting them off really

Except where its been an agreed one night thing thats always led to either a fair amount of repeat performances or some form of relationship with them, so if you've been getting a completely different type of outcome I wouldnt say its linked to how quickly you've had sex unless you tend to look down your nose at those women because they wanted to have MUTUALLY consenting sex with you

If that isnt the case, then perhaps you need to make a better first impression between the sheets so they actually want to have seconds
 Athletics89
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 789
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 11:49:53 AM
The only time I have ever had sex with a woman on our "first date" was with my now ex-fiance' (Lisa). But Lisa and I had talked for 6 weeks prior to me flying out to Los Angeles to meet. We already knew we would be spending the weekend at Lisa's house. We were together for over 4 years.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 790
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 1:00:25 PM
I would like to place a vote......for no


 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 791
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 1:33:18 PM
I believe so. so far my experience with women is that they have always wanted sex either immediately or on a second date. none of those relationships ever worked out. I suggest waiting unless that is all you want.

That seems a little strange. You would really feel it wasn't a good idea to have sex with a woman on a first date, but if she was willing to, you'd stand a better chance by telling her to wait? Well, ok. That seems rather counter intuitive and contrary to my personal experience, though.
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 792
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:21:51 PM
I may be feeling a bit snarky tonight, but this whole thread idea just reeks of someone holier-than-thou trying to keep up an ancient religious tradition of staying a virgin until your wedding night. Sex happens. When and where depends on the couple.

It may not be on the first date, or the second, but there just isn't too many people nowadays that will buy a car without a test drive. Waiting for it may be noble to instill upon a teenager, most of us 30+ somethings have already driven a few vehicles, and would rather NOT be screwed (literally) with a lemon.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 793
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:50:36 PM
Most of my relationships started with sex BEFORE the first date!

Those that pay attention won't be surprised...most others are gonna seize up....project and assume....I'll get the popcorn....
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 794
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/8/2011 1:19:00 PM

…there just isn't too many people nowadays that will buy a car without a test drive. …would rather NOT be screwed (literally) with a lemon.


Wow. That is so incredibly romantic.
 GeekedNow
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 795
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/8/2011 5:55:23 PM
intresting read just before bedtime.

my friend from college had sex on the first date and he is still married to her 15 years later. Conventional? no but very little about people in my orbit are very conventional. I will say this though, if you have things in common and get along dont let the sex or not sex yet get in the way please.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 796
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/8/2011 5:59:18 PM
It's funny how you hear SSSOOO many say that a relationship isnt about sex; then make SUCH a dramatic stressful decision making process out of whether or not to have sex.

If it feels right; and there is no reason to not go forward with your passion, why the heck not right? If you have an answer to that question, which sounds right to you; than it's solved, no sex!



Decision made

P.s. I'm going to place a vote for 'no'.

 Robert wants you
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 797
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:32:04 PM
Although it is wonderful to have sex, the hormones released tend to mask our rational mind from seeing the obvious faults and shortcomings of our partner. When a relationship is based on just those chemical reactions with a few other positive traits, we likely will find that they dwindle over time and we have little left to hold together a strong bond of a relationship.

I always try to hold out for a half a dozen dates and ideally, I would wait until we both were firmly committed in marriage. The reality is that my dates don't want to hold out and if I didn't show my affections in a sexual way, they would likely move on.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 798
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2011 12:05:36 AM
If you're both That Open about personal topics, you probably _Should_ invest in a relationship..!!
_I_ would..!!
 StoneB2006
Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 799
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2011 8:24:00 AM
My two longest relationships (10 yr marriage & 4 yr relationship) both started with sex on the first date. So I would say no.
 Eddie1962150
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 800
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2011 3:50:39 PM

…there just isn't too many people nowadays that will buy a car without a test drive. …would rather NOT be screwed (literally) with a lemon.


Here we go with that reference to a test drive again. As far as I am concerned anyone who dates me and then wants to base our relationship on sex or the performance there of, Has to have mental issues. A screw loose if you will. Anyone who bases there relationships on sex or the performance of it has very skewed thinking. People in general base their relationships on sex. Then later on wonder why they can't keep a man or woman. You screw yourself. If you base your relationships on sex they will fail eventually.

So far I have not seen one poster on this thread say that they are still in a relationship that started with sex on the first date. So far most of you have said the same thing. You have had sex on the first date. But none of your relationships are still going. You have said that they lasted X amount of years or months. So far none of you have offered any proof that you can have sex on the first date and the relationship last a life time. Because it will not. It will fail eventually because you base it on the wrong thing.

Where is the love? Where is the commitment? It sure isn't between your legs. I don't know about the rest of you. But there is way more to me besides what's swinging between my legs.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 801
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/9/2011 6:29:45 PM
If you base your relationships on sex they will fail eventually.

You're 49, divorced and looking for a relationship. How many of your relationships which started out with NOT having sex on the first date failed? Looks like 100% so far.

So far I have not seen one poster on this thread say that they are still in a relationship that started with sex on the first date.

What a surprise. This is a dating site, so most of the people here are here because they aren't in a relationship. Either you think everyone here had sex on the first date of their last relationship, or you left off the part about not seeing anyone say that he/she is still in a relationship that started off with not having sex on a first date. Is that because the people here who didn't have sex on the first date are still in relationships but here looking for dates or because thier relationships didn't last, either? I'm going t guess the latter and that you are just prevaricating, but let me know if you think it's the former. On the other hand, a number of people have said they've had relationships that started out with sex on the first date (like the guy who posted just above you) that have lasted longer than the 6 years you listed in your profile as your longest relationship. I'd think that would be a more relevant comparison.

But none of your relationships are still going.

Neither are yours, unless you're in one now and still out looking for dates.

You have said that they lasted X amount of years or months.

See above for comparisons to your own relationships.

So far none of you have offered any proof that you can have sex on the first date and the relationship last a life time. Because it will not.

Is that based on your own experience forming a lifelong relationship?
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 802
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/19/2011 2:21:53 PM
How's your relationship with yourself? Do you value yourself?Do you respect yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you often take risks w/ your life ie willing to ruin your health w/ a stranger's std? You don't owe me the answers, might want to ask yourself those things :)
 CasperImproved
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 803
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 11/20/2011 12:14:45 AM
OP? I maybe a bit old fashioned, or maybe because I'm not a serial dater, but I can't relate to the question.

Unless I was between the age of 17 and 21, I wouldn't even want to have sex on a first "date". If you have sex on the first date, in my mind, it's not a date. It's a booty call. And no, I wouldn't respect you in the morning.
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