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 AUTHOR
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 258
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History
Age gap...Page 14 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
My ex was 49, I've dated down to 23, people are people. If the two of you click, what does it matter.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 259
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 8:03:50 AM

My ex was 49, I've dated down to 23, people are people. If the two of you click, what does it matter.

I can only answer for my own self: I don't want someone watching me grow old, nor do I wish to watch someone grow old without me. Hence? I have a VERY limited age range of what is "age appropriate" for me. To each their own. JMO
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 260
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 9:11:30 AM

Guys have always dated younger women so why now is it creepy? Creepy is the old women sexually exploiting the younger guy.
I tend to date yonger Ladies mainly becasue older women are way to mature women don't stop maturing so they let them selves go, slow down and become in general no fun they want you to act your age. Yonger women tend to still bounce thru life are not as mature and thus more fun to be around they don't want to go to bed at 9.


It's not creepy when old guys date younger women but it is creepy when old women
date younger men? Really? Creepiness isn't an age...it's mostly an attitude, and there
are creeps in both genders and all ages.

*turns the creep meter on*

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 262
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 11:27:59 AM

Guys have always dated younger women so why now is it creepy? Creepy is the old women sexually exploiting the younger guy.
I tend to date yonger Ladies mainly becasue older women are way to mature women don't stop maturing so they let them selves go, slow down and become in general no fun they want you to act your age. Yonger women tend to still bounce thru life are not as mature and thus more fun to be around they don't want to go to bed at 9.
****************************************************************************

It's not creepy when old guys date younger women but it is creepy when old women
date younger men? Really? Creepiness isn't an age...it's mostly an attitude, and there
are creeps in both genders and all ages.

*turns the creep meter on*

watch out-mine just blew up.

After the lil' cutie half his age cleans out his wallet and he's having health troubles, that "way too mature woman" who has kept her health and her purse,will start looking damn good, but here's the problem-these "way too mature women" are not driven by a need to validate themselves with a husband anymore, especially one who is broke, decrepit,and probably paying child support on young kids. She's gonna either be enjoying the hell out of singlehood and autonomy, or she'll have a young fella that she at least gets her money's worth out of.
There-that's my "flip the script" response...inspired by a certain recent post(s) to this thread. Worst case scenario maybe, but well within the realm of possibility.
For the most part, I don't care one way or another about age gaps-for myself, the standard is that I don't date men young enough to be my sons, or old enough to be my dad. Everything between will be considered and decided on its' own merits- or lack of them. What other people do is up to them as long as no laws are being broken, or completely assinine behavior being exhibited.
Cindy O
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 263
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 1:28:04 PM
When I got back into the dating scene I had just turned 50. At this time of my life my personal preference is 3-4 years younger at the most, up to 10 years older in the upper range.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 265
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 3:52:39 PM
Msg 365
It just goes to show you that a man's chronological years aren't necessarily an indication of maturity, fair-mindedness, or having gotten over himself.
I can only speculate that for some younger women interested in/willing to date older guys, is maybe she either has daddy issues or maybe those dollar sign colored glasses smooth out the ravages of time on his face.
I have absolutely no doubt that there are age gapped relationships that work well, but it's always been my experience and observation that long-lasting and stable relationships usually are with 2 people of similar background...part of which is being not too far apart in age.
If all you are looking for is to date around and whatever, then who cares if older men date younger women and older women date younger men? Why would it be "creepy" for an older woman to "sexually exploit"- younger men but "not creepy" for older men to feed off of younger women's energy and youthful looks?
Cindy O
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 266
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:23:32 PM
Tough to put a number on it, as we all are different in are likes and dislikes. An adult, for sure...I am generally attracted to someone older than myself. If the guy was pushing past the late 50's, I likely not be interested. Cannot give you concrete numbers, as people behave differently and some age faster than others, plus act older/younger than others the same age. The young youthful at heart, it what I like.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 267
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 6:03:03 PM
Around here, there's what we call "the creepy rule." Anyone less than half your age plus five is considered "creepy."
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 268
Age gap...
Posted: 7/20/2010 7:54:06 PM
"The Creepy Rule", good description. I like it. Yes, it creepy if one of the two or both are creepy
Still, I leave it open to the acception rule. Different strokes for different folks. The youngest I have dated was a few years younger then myself. The oldest was eighteen years difference. More than likely I would not date someone too much older than this, but I am open to the acception. eastwood969 had written about "whether or not you find someone attractive based on their age". Let's say I met someone and I did not know their age, we clicked and went out. Then I find out their age and they were much older than me. Based on this new information I would still go out for another date and see what happened. Differences on age gap can be a hinderance or an inspiration. I liked the different views I would receive in conversations when I dated an older man. His outlook on life opened up my eyes to things I had not thought of and it was very inspirational. Furthermore, since we tend to mature faster than males; being with someone older has its benefits. I met someone who was in their 30's and she was with a man thirty years older than herself. I do not know the couple, but the community said they have children together and she is pregnant again, that they appear to be in a genuine relationship.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 270
Age gap...
Posted: 7/22/2010 7:11:03 PM
Bless your heart MrFication. Been there. Oh wait, still there. I may be old, but I'm not attracted to ancient either.

 *ScorpioSweetiepie*
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 271
Age gap...
Posted: 7/24/2010 1:48:10 PM
Hmm. I don't usually date guys my own age or younger. Maturity is a fact, but mostly I would have to say because they have very young children. Mine are 18 and 19. I'm not interested in the battle betweens ex and child. It isn't fun.
I mainly seem to be attracted to men about 10 years older. I would honestly say 13 years would be my maximum. Pretty sure my parents would kill me if I showed up for xmas dinner with someone their age.
All in all its what or who is on the inside of them that matters most. Age is only a number.
But young kids is a deal breaker. Unless he is a widow maybe. Sounds harsh. But I've been there once before and that was enough.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 272
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 7/24/2010 4:00:59 PM
I was at a dance party last night with a bunch of mostly college aged dancers and the girls started talking about creepy older guys. There's one guy older than me who hangs around with this dance crowd but he's a really good dancer and definitely not creepy. However, there *is* a problem with certain older (i.e. 50+) men on the dance floor. I don't know what it is, but most of them come off as creepy. The young girls *really* do not like dancing with them and were complaining to me about it. It isn't just their age, it's their vibes. Mostly, they don't seem particularly predatory but more needy than anything. They latch onto girls instead of mixing around and then the girls don't know how to get rid of them. They were asking me for advice. Where are the cool older guys? Probably found a girlfriend and quit going out.


I've thought about this and have narrowed my age range.

What would I, as a 46 year old man, have in common with someone in their teens and 20s?


Well, conversationally I can find areas of common interest with people of *any* age if they are intelligent and interesting. I was invited to a dance party last night where I was one of two people over the age of 30 (the other guy being in his 60s - I'm 57.) This wasn't a public event where anyone could walk in, it was a private party. Besides that I'm a good dance partner, I take a genuine interest in the people around me. One guy was telling me about the research he's involved in, another girl was telling me about the various places she's lived. A few of us had an engaging conversation about bicycling. However, I'm not there looking for a date. Relationshipwise, the wider the gap - whether it be age, culture, whatever - the more cautiously I'm going to proceed.

BTW, I hang out a lot with a 14 year old musician and we have more in common than I do with a lot of people my age who gave up being interested in life about 15 years ago.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 273
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:04:52 AM
When someone is "in heat" the age difference doesn't matter.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 274
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:06:17 AM
Northern:

Its just as creepy to see 50 yr old men with 30 yr old women or even younger but if you are in heat nothing matters like having something in common.
 MarriedMommy
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 275
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 7:22:55 AM
Hey, I'm 29 and my husband is 49
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 276
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 10:49:03 AM
^^^ So what? People have opinions, and some are of the opinion that your situation is creepy. That's all it is, not a personal attack on you or your relationship.

I happen to like women slightly older than myself for various reasons but age gaps are not really a problem if the two people are honest with themselves and each other. Age is more than "just a number" (one of my all time least favorite cliches) but it's not impossible to work things out if the desire is there to be together)
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 277
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 11:26:24 AM
Hey, I'm 29 and my husband is 49

YOU GO GURL!! Yeah.. My rule is "NO WALKERS"... you have to make it to the bed unnasisted,.. (that means WITHOUT a power chair!) If you got duct tape holding your boobs or your butt in place,.. it's a deal breaker (because I have sensitive skin, and duct tape is a severe irritant ( the adhesive.. don't ask me HOW I know either) If you have TIGHT fitting dentures,..ok..NO soaking on the nightstand! Not so wrinkled you look like a topigraphical 3-D map of Both Appalachian AND Rocky Mountain chains.. If you sneeze, and blow a dust cloud from between the legs,. it's over... Other than that,.. Bring it on! Hey I lied about MY age on My profile,. AND I can get away with it! (I didn't say WHICH way,. I may just be Cougar hunting )
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 278
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 12:50:26 PM
Hey, I'm 29 and my husband is 49.


20 years difference. My late husband is 20 years my senior, and some women friends or newly acquainted are curious > an ashamely asked is it still standing ? My reply is I make it stand , curious friends - my husband is this age --younger than your husband blah blah" ( my sex life is private and sacred and I don't want to be a party conversation) I answered them pissily, to thread a little needle of a limp thread wet the end to make the thread stand and shoot it to the hole of the needle and if I can do that successfully, what more of a wenie of man that has bones and alive, that shut them up. Geesh, Some women have no bounderies,

I do clothing industries...

msg380 that is a turn On---- on laughing ............................
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 279
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 4:33:15 PM
Txrose:

I don't have leathery nasty 40 something skin that makes me look like an old lizard. Boy do the men in their 60s look ancient with that look but yet again my mom is 65 and I'm 45, she didn't wait until middle age to have me so the men in their 60s would be daddy looking to me.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 280
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:21:39 PM
Demonleather.....you sure are picky. .....................................................................
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 281
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:32:38 PM
A big age gap is nothing but a fantasy. Why waste time on illusions? It makes perfect sense to date someone close to one's own age or a few years up or down. However, women (usually) mature earlier than men so if an older man starts dating a younger woman it doesn't even raise an eyebrow - depending on HOW much younger of course.
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 282
Age gap...
Posted: 11/5/2010 2:47:04 PM
The great love of my life turned out to be 12 years older than me. Who would have guessed!
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 283
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 11/12/2010 2:25:25 PM
Four years ago, I was 52, and a 20 year old female clerk made it very clear that she would like to go out with me. I look, and probably act 10 years younger than my age, and she knew how old I was. She said that age didn't matter. I was very flattered that major sparks could fly between a man of my age, and someone so young, energetic, and very attractive. I politely thanked her, but declined.

Weeks later I heard her talking on the phone with one of her friends. The drama that was in her life would be enough for a Weekly Situation Comedy, or a Drama Series on television! Hearing about her particular life and challenges, plus her phone conversation, I realized that I didn't want to raise her, or her daughter.

This was the first of 3 separate 20 something women, who, in the space of 3 years, have showed an interest in dating me.

For me, there were too many differences in where we each were in our lives, interests, accomplishments and values. I'm more settled, and probably too set in my ways to deal with at least one drama scene a week ... isn't that what television is for ?

My parents were 7 years apart in age, as were my Grandparents. My most compatible relationships have been with women who were about 8 years younger than me, including one relationship where we bought investment property together and talked about Marriage. Thru the past 20 plus years, an approximate 8 year age difference is what's worked best for me.

If I were considering a much younger woman to date, I would probably not date someone who was younger than 38. For the record, yes I have dated older women but none of those dates have ever worked out for me.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 284
Age gap...
Posted: 11/12/2010 5:37:02 PM
I hesitated with my Current GF because of our age gap....but she's been less drama, more mature, more secure and more loving than any other woman I've been with!... and she's way more fun too!
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 285
Age gap...
Posted: 11/12/2010 10:34:11 PM
18 to 88 it doesn't matter to me. if we enjoy each others company i say go for it.
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