Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 _ApprenticeSoulMate
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 154
view profile
History
Age gap...Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
My late wife was 11 years younger than me and it didn't seem to make any difference to us. We had always just assumed that I would die first, but it just didn't work out that way. Enjoy each day that you are together regardless of age differences and tomorrow will take care of itself because you certainly have no control over it.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 157
Age gap...
Posted: 3/25/2007 9:50:48 PM

If i am going to have sex with a 27 year old or a 47 or 57 year old, i might as well choose the 27 yr with some maturity. That is if its not going to lead to anything more.


^^^^I think it's important to quote the entire quote. She clearly states that she would have sex with the 27 year old IF it was indeed, only sex and not leading to anything else.

~OT~ It's personal preference and right at this very moment, there are 5 active threads about women loving older men. Seems to me that it's a fairly even split: those of us who prefer younger, those who prefer older and those who maintain "age is just a number and it doesn't matter." A positive attitude and a little self-esteem will make or break any deal no matter what age someone is. JMO
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 158
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 3/25/2007 10:48:29 PM
I've heard that it's best to go no more than 10 years older or younger than yourself. Reason being that more one way or the other may cause too much of a generational gap where you can't relate to one another - i.e. music of your generation.


This has been my experience, too. My last long-term relationship (6 years) was with someone 13 years younger than myself, and though he was extremely intelligent and incredibly funny, I could just never fathom the sort of mentality that would allow someone to call in sick to work so he could spend 6 hours playing videogames with his friends.
My boyfriend before him was, interestingly, 13 years older than me, and that relationship seemed to entail an even larger cultural gap; he was an unbelievably nice guy, but he didn't like my music, he didn't get most of my references to current events, and thought my piercings were strange.

I think relationships with large age differences can work, but both people have to be on the same wavelength, and the larger the gap, the less probable that is.
 bcvalleyboY
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 179
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:36:56 AM

I believe that age is just a number - you are as young as you feel! However the question I have to ask is this: What the heck is up with all of the 20 somethings IMing older women for sex? I have asked around and it doesn't just happen to me. Heads up to you 20 somethings - not all women in their 30's and 40's are cougars looking for a younger man to sleep with, most of us are looking for the real deal.


well I lost my virginity to a woman that was 14 years older than my 19th birthday. I was not chasing her for sex, she was chasing me. I know lots of women in their 30 and 40 not looking for sex with the younger males in their 20's. Young males will have sex with an older woman, because the older woman is putting up the red light district siren, and not even realizing it sometimes. Women are at their sexual peak between 30 and 40.

My question is this, if the young guys are propositioning you older women, what are putting out there for them to be attracted to you older women? Maybe the real deal is with a younger guy, you never know.

The older woman that took my virginity was certainly not attractive, she got me drunk and took advantage of me. Yes I was one of the late bloomers at 19, and was willing to wait for the right woman. Call me old fashioned, and unusual for this day and age, I know that most young guys will do anything to get sex. Exercise reduces the urges.

Now for the age gap thing. Its up to the couple. I know of a few relationships that have lasted, one went 35 years of marriage until he died, he was 22 years older. A young couple I know that just got married, she is 19, he is 34, I don't see the age difference.

Celine Dionne's husband is 30 years older. if it is true unconditional love then age is not a difference.
 bcvalleyboY
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 180
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:43:10 AM

I believe that age is just a number - you are as young as you feel! However the question I have to ask is this: What the heck is up with all of the 20 somethings IMing older women for sex? I have asked around and it doesn't just happen to me. Heads up to you 20 somethings - not all women in their 30's and 40's are cougars looking for a younger man to sleep with, most of us are looking for the real deal.


well I lost my virginity to a woman that was 14 years older than my 19th birthday. I was not chasing her for sex, she was chasing me. I know lots of women in their 30 and 40 not looking for sex with the younger males in their 20's. Young males will have sex with an older woman, because the older woman is putting up the red light district siren, and not even realizing it sometimes. Women are at their sexual peak between 30 and 40.

My question is this, if the young guys are propositioning you older women, what are putting out there for them to be attracted to you older women? Maybe your real deal is with a younger man, you never know

The older woman that took my virginity was certainly not attractive, she got me drunk and took advantage of me. Yes I was one of the late bloomers at 19, and was willing to wait for the right woman. Call me old fashioned, and unusual for this day and age, I know that most young guys will do anything to get sex. Exercise reduces the urges.

Now for the age gap thing. Its up to the couple. I know of a few relationships that have lasted, one went 35 years of marriage until he died, he was 22 years older. A young couple I know that just got married, she is 19, he is 34, I don't see the age difference.

Celine Dionne's husband is 30 years older. if it is true unconditional love then age is not a difference.
 justforumsplease
Joined: 2/6/2007
Msg: 182
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:00:25 AM
:: ears raise ::

Did someone say "perverts"?
 bcvalleyboY
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 183
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:27:59 AM

You seem to think the 2nd scenario is natural and the 1st scenario involves perverts.


I could have mentioned that I did in fact date an older woman in my later years, and it was nothing to do with perversion. We did connect more on a spiritual level too. She was only 13 years older. the youngest I have dated is 9 years, and that was about 3 years ago..

If its real and unconditional, then its natural age will not make a difference either way. If its for perversion, then age is a problem I think anyway. Not to throw flames here, there are women that like the younger male for just sex. Age does not bother me, cause I have seen some good relationships last. I have been on both ends of the age range. Ideally you would think that someone close to your own age would be the way to go. Love is a funny animal.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 184
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 8:21:39 AM
my parent had 20 years age diference between them, my mother simply did't want a you boy
they where great parents, especially my dad, he was kind patient, and there for us
most of my friends dads, where drinking, and just basic ass.ols
i dont think there should be any problem with age
when i was 18 i met a very wonderfull woman who was a very beautifull 35 year old, she 'trained me to be a good lover' i think youn men and women should experiment with older
 bcvalleyboY
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 185
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 9:17:13 AM
arugula, t-baygirl the one that started the post about the younger men attracted to her, my gut feelings tell me that she is looking for the younger guys. I hear women I know women that want the younger guy, and that is quite normal I just feel that t-baygirl really wants it and stop lying to her self. I think that the only reason women go for the younger boys, is that they dont want to deal with a real man, they want a puppy to train lol

Prime example Cher and her boy toys.
 Miss__Magoo
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 189
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 1:38:19 PM
Well, well, well,........my favorite subject. The age gap question.

I, personally, don't think it is any problem having a relationship with one 2o years older or younger than yourself. My brother and his wife have a 20 year age difference and are very happy. Can you guess which one is the older?

But....now this is a big big but, if my 22 year old daughter were to come to me and say 'Mom, I got engaged to so and so - he is 44 years old! S**T would hit the fan.

I wonder why my thoughts go that way for her and not for myself? That is a good question, one that I am going to have to ponder for a while.

And my brother ? He is the older gentleman. Were there really any doubts? After all in the past, age gap relationships usually always the man was the older of the two (ie: Pierre Elliot Trudeau and wife Margaret). It is only just recently that women feel comfortable with dating younger men (ie: Ashton Krutcher and Demi Moore).

That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it - unless of course someone changes my mind :)
 bcvalleyboY
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 191
Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:17:25 PM

And the majority of these threads end up with men slamming women who say they like younger men,


I was not aware that men actually slam women for that. Only because I think its not right. I have dated way older than me, only because there was a connection, and not the age thing. Many of my friends never seen the age difference anyway. Me going as young as a 20 year old makes me shudder, 7 years younger than me would be my limit. I don t need to be a daddy figure either. No worries there about me going with your 24 year old daughter.

Now I have done the dating with women close to my age lately, some of which are looking for the rocking chair already. Maybe its a different climate where you come from Argulua. When my daughter sees me on a date with a woman three years younger and tells me that she is too old for me, there is something wrong. Dont get me wrong, I know lot of good women that keep themselves in shape, and they are the ones that are with someone already. I did date a hard body one year older than me, not from our town, and it was a pleasant date, we went for a two mile walk first before our meal. She kept herself in shape. So Iwould need to find a person that would be able to keep up to myself. I run sometimes when my knee allows me, I ride bike to work instead, and I just lost 5o lbs three years ago.
 misstdot
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 216
Age gap...
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:24:25 AM
Just my recent experience. with 15 years younger. too aloof
 bignymike
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 223
Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:27:53 PM
Here's how it work's:
If the lady doesn't mind; it doesn't matter! Afterall what is "it" exactly that a young man has that I don't? I have more experience, a better job, secure with myself, don't pollute my body the way I used to, self confidence, don't need any of that Viagra...
No, older and wiser, in shape guys are good catch's...!!!
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 224
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:39:50 PM
The_Champ_Is_Here
I don't want to get into everything you posted , and you may have some valid points in isolated cases , but I do not think women have it that easy at all ...... not by a long shot.

On topic ..
I think the ideal is for the guy to be a bit older , but age is not very important....however , most often you probably should be within 10 years .
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 229
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:56:51 PM
1) I know loads of people who were not together for very long.
I don't know that many who are together for very long.
If I am going to spend the rest of my life with the same person, I want to know that she will be there in 20 years time, and not thing I am an old man, and me still appreciate her.
But if it is going to end at some point anyway, what do I or her care?

2) If there is something OK with a 40-year-old woman, and a 25-year-old man, this issue has been asked many, many times, and most posters say he is just interested in sex.
If there is something not OK with a 40-year-old man, and a 25-year-old woman, there is always the possibility of her having his kids.
So I can only conclude that being interested in a relationship with a woman is:
OK for having sex
Not OK for having kids

This issue already exists in most Westernised countries.
The birth rate is on the decline by moderate Westerners.
It is on the rise by religious fanatics.
Bye, bye, Western society. Say hello to religious fanaticism, persecution and war.

So I say, if you want to kill your society, that's your problem.
I'm going to enjoy my life.
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 231
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:05:22 PM
Angel, it's not just you.

40 seems to be perceived as a phase transition for a lot of people.

From reading women's profiles, I find that women in their early to mid 30's are reluctant to look at men in their 40's or even upper 30's. But women in their early 40's, often as young as 41, put 40 as the *lower* bound.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 232
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:11:07 PM
From reading women's profiles, I find that women in their early to mid 30's are reluctant to look at men in their 40's or even upper 30's. But women in their early 40's, often as young as 41, put 40 as the *lower* bound.


^
I agree ,
Although I admit ....I'm biased because I'm 41 .
But it is true that many women in their mid thirties seem to think 40 + is "old"
It really narrows the field for us 40+ year olds
I think that is because there is a huge change in perception of your own age from thirties to forties.
I get alot of attention form this 40 + age group ....which is great if we are a match .
I look quite young and I actually probably look out of sorts with some mid to late forties women. Like they are an elder relative or something along those lines.
It's the nature of publicly announcing your age on internet dating ....IRL you don't wear an age on your shirt , so that mid thirties do not think I'm too old.....sometimes even mid twenties don't .

But whatever , it's just one obstacle .....it ain't easy for anyone . (-;
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 237
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 9:00:56 AM
^
Ahh , you broke my heart )-:
Actually , I think that anyone under 35 is probably too young for me .Like I said within ten years.Certainly not under 30.
I think you need things reasonably in common , and for instance I can't relate to rap or hip hop ..except maybe eminem ...a little . (-:
I don't want to be misunderstood.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 240
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 11:28:39 AM
In 14 pages I am sure this has been addressed several times... it is not the difference in age that is an issue... it is the difference in life stage as well as mental and physical compatibility. Not sure you can put a number on that... it is relative to the individual.

I have my child, I'm not going to consider dating someone who still wants to have children of their own. That divider is a no-brainer. Beyond that, I need stimulation and challenge from partners in roughly equal doses to affection and consideration... that simply can't be measured by age.
 gizmosellschickens
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 246
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 10:59:00 PM
Me being 29 , for freindship age dont matter, but for a serious realationship the closer to me in age the better off. See, the rule is the lower end of the age limit 21 and the upper end 42. Still, staying within the same generation is key, and I would not date someone 10 years younger now days because some of us remember we have to borrow a freinds tape, or VHS tape to get a movie free, or when you waited 20 mintues to get on to websites. I dont know which generation I am now days because the younger kids I can relate too, and also the older ones remember some things that the younger people dont. Still, the older I get the more I lift the ceiling, and higher the floor goes hehe.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 248
Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:49:28 PM
Age gap all changes as you get older, at 20 you think 25 is over the hill and 15 is still a kid, but at 30, 22 might be acceptable and 28 is probably not a problem. At 40, 30 to 50 for a match is quite common and 15 years is acceptable. At 50 it's almost anything goes, by that time you've realised that age is just a number and everything else is much more important. The only real things that age has anything to do with is women and childbirth and old age increase in medical problems. Both of them can be altered with good health, lifestyle and fitness. Age has been a big problem in my search for the last 10 years because I've always wanted kids and can't or haven't figured out how to give it up. I was dating someone during my late thirties for a number of years that one day decided to inform me she was 12 years older than she was and kids was out of the question. I just thought she had lived a hard life in the sun on the California beaches. It took a few years to get over that, regroup and I then found myself left out in the cold by most anybody that wanted kids because I was too old. My number was too big. I don't have much problem in person but online a big number is a killer. I'm probably going to have to resort to an overseas bride where age difference is no problem like it should be. The only thing that really matters is happiness with whomever you're with. Most of us Americans have our head up our --- when it comes to this issue. It ranks right along with our desire for beauty and the use of age defying makeup products. I think it's all been drummed into our head by advertisers. . . . . . WAKE UP AMERICA, LOL
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 249
view profile
History
Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:21:38 PM
I believe in 2 things:
1) Respect for the Law.
2) Treating other people with respect.
All other considerations are secondary.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >