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 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 229
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Age gap...Page 6 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
1) I know loads of people who were not together for very long.
I don't know that many who are together for very long.
If I am going to spend the rest of my life with the same person, I want to know that she will be there in 20 years time, and not thing I am an old man, and me still appreciate her.
But if it is going to end at some point anyway, what do I or her care?

2) If there is something OK with a 40-year-old woman, and a 25-year-old man, this issue has been asked many, many times, and most posters say he is just interested in sex.
If there is something not OK with a 40-year-old man, and a 25-year-old woman, there is always the possibility of her having his kids.
So I can only conclude that being interested in a relationship with a woman is:
OK for having sex
Not OK for having kids

This issue already exists in most Westernised countries.
The birth rate is on the decline by moderate Westerners.
It is on the rise by religious fanatics.
Bye, bye, Western society. Say hello to religious fanaticism, persecution and war.

So I say, if you want to kill your society, that's your problem.
I'm going to enjoy my life.
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 231
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:05:22 PM
Angel, it's not just you.

40 seems to be perceived as a phase transition for a lot of people.

From reading women's profiles, I find that women in their early to mid 30's are reluctant to look at men in their 40's or even upper 30's. But women in their early 40's, often as young as 41, put 40 as the *lower* bound.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 232
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Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:11:07 PM
From reading women's profiles, I find that women in their early to mid 30's are reluctant to look at men in their 40's or even upper 30's. But women in their early 40's, often as young as 41, put 40 as the *lower* bound.


^
I agree ,
Although I admit ....I'm biased because I'm 41 .
But it is true that many women in their mid thirties seem to think 40 + is "old"
It really narrows the field for us 40+ year olds
I think that is because there is a huge change in perception of your own age from thirties to forties.
I get alot of attention form this 40 + age group ....which is great if we are a match .
I look quite young and I actually probably look out of sorts with some mid to late forties women. Like they are an elder relative or something along those lines.
It's the nature of publicly announcing your age on internet dating ....IRL you don't wear an age on your shirt , so that mid thirties do not think I'm too old.....sometimes even mid twenties don't .

But whatever , it's just one obstacle .....it ain't easy for anyone . (-;
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 237
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Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 9:00:56 AM
^
Ahh , you broke my heart )-:
Actually , I think that anyone under 35 is probably too young for me .Like I said within ten years.Certainly not under 30.
I think you need things reasonably in common , and for instance I can't relate to rap or hip hop ..except maybe eminem ...a little . (-:
I don't want to be misunderstood.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 240
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Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 11:28:39 AM
In 14 pages I am sure this has been addressed several times... it is not the difference in age that is an issue... it is the difference in life stage as well as mental and physical compatibility. Not sure you can put a number on that... it is relative to the individual.

I have my child, I'm not going to consider dating someone who still wants to have children of their own. That divider is a no-brainer. Beyond that, I need stimulation and challenge from partners in roughly equal doses to affection and consideration... that simply can't be measured by age.
 gizmosellschickens
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 246
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Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 10:59:00 PM
Me being 29 , for freindship age dont matter, but for a serious realationship the closer to me in age the better off. See, the rule is the lower end of the age limit 21 and the upper end 42. Still, staying within the same generation is key, and I would not date someone 10 years younger now days because some of us remember we have to borrow a freinds tape, or VHS tape to get a movie free, or when you waited 20 mintues to get on to websites. I dont know which generation I am now days because the younger kids I can relate too, and also the older ones remember some things that the younger people dont. Still, the older I get the more I lift the ceiling, and higher the floor goes hehe.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 248
Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:49:28 PM
Age gap all changes as you get older, at 20 you think 25 is over the hill and 15 is still a kid, but at 30, 22 might be acceptable and 28 is probably not a problem. At 40, 30 to 50 for a match is quite common and 15 years is acceptable. At 50 it's almost anything goes, by that time you've realised that age is just a number and everything else is much more important. The only real things that age has anything to do with is women and childbirth and old age increase in medical problems. Both of them can be altered with good health, lifestyle and fitness. Age has been a big problem in my search for the last 10 years because I've always wanted kids and can't or haven't figured out how to give it up. I was dating someone during my late thirties for a number of years that one day decided to inform me she was 12 years older than she was and kids was out of the question. I just thought she had lived a hard life in the sun on the California beaches. It took a few years to get over that, regroup and I then found myself left out in the cold by most anybody that wanted kids because I was too old. My number was too big. I don't have much problem in person but online a big number is a killer. I'm probably going to have to resort to an overseas bride where age difference is no problem like it should be. The only thing that really matters is happiness with whomever you're with. Most of us Americans have our head up our --- when it comes to this issue. It ranks right along with our desire for beauty and the use of age defying makeup products. I think it's all been drummed into our head by advertisers. . . . . . WAKE UP AMERICA, LOL
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 249
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Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:21:38 PM
I believe in 2 things:
1) Respect for the Law.
2) Treating other people with respect.
All other considerations are secondary.
 simply_peachy
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 251
Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:35:47 PM
For me that's tricky, especially in online 'dating'. While I have known people in my personal life who are 10 years my senior and I've been interested in, I get creeped out a bit by guys online who message me who are 10 years(or more) older than I am. I know that some of these guys are perfectly nice, but part of me just thinks, a) why are they interested in someone so much younger than they are? and b) What's wrong with them that women their age don't want them? <-- I mean no offense by this, and I know that it is illogical in some sense, but you can't help what you're gut tells you.

That being said, at 23, I've had friends who are upwards of 30 and I've been interested in them, but I think that's because they're friends first, not just someone who's intentions you're unaware of. I will not date younger men, esp. through online dating, because I've had problems with maturity levels of past boyfriends who were 5 years my senior. I know this is faulty logic as well, because maturity level is subjective, but again, what can ya do?

That mouthful out of the way, while the age bracket may influence my decision to 'meet' someone from offline, when it comes down to it, as long as a man isn't my fathers age...you never know what can happen. It all depends on the particular scenario/situation.
 dannyebreeze
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 253
Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 7:08:44 PM
Having been there down that, my ex 14 years my junior, I can attest to this, men and women go through life changes in their 20's, especially early 30's, and in their 40's, where outlooks, goals, interests, etc. re-arrange and change somewhat in priority, long story short the age difference does become clear, five years at the most to kind of make sure the two stay on the same page.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 258
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 7:46:45 AM
My ex was 49, I've dated down to 23, people are people. If the two of you click, what does it matter.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 262
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 11:27:59 AM

Guys have always dated younger women so why now is it creepy? Creepy is the old women sexually exploiting the younger guy.
I tend to date yonger Ladies mainly becasue older women are way to mature women don't stop maturing so they let them selves go, slow down and become in general no fun they want you to act your age. Yonger women tend to still bounce thru life are not as mature and thus more fun to be around they don't want to go to bed at 9.
****************************************************************************

It's not creepy when old guys date younger women but it is creepy when old women
date younger men? Really? Creepiness isn't an age...it's mostly an attitude, and there
are creeps in both genders and all ages.

*turns the creep meter on*

watch out-mine just blew up.

After the lil' cutie half his age cleans out his wallet and he's having health troubles, that "way too mature woman" who has kept her health and her purse,will start looking damn good, but here's the problem-these "way too mature women" are not driven by a need to validate themselves with a husband anymore, especially one who is broke, decrepit,and probably paying child support on young kids. She's gonna either be enjoying the hell out of singlehood and autonomy, or she'll have a young fella that she at least gets her money's worth out of.
There-that's my "flip the script" response...inspired by a certain recent post(s) to this thread. Worst case scenario maybe, but well within the realm of possibility.
For the most part, I don't care one way or another about age gaps-for myself, the standard is that I don't date men young enough to be my sons, or old enough to be my dad. Everything between will be considered and decided on its' own merits- or lack of them. What other people do is up to them as long as no laws are being broken, or completely assinine behavior being exhibited.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 265
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 3:52:39 PM
Msg 365
It just goes to show you that a man's chronological years aren't necessarily an indication of maturity, fair-mindedness, or having gotten over himself.
I can only speculate that for some younger women interested in/willing to date older guys, is maybe she either has daddy issues or maybe those dollar sign colored glasses smooth out the ravages of time on his face.
I have absolutely no doubt that there are age gapped relationships that work well, but it's always been my experience and observation that long-lasting and stable relationships usually are with 2 people of similar background...part of which is being not too far apart in age.
If all you are looking for is to date around and whatever, then who cares if older men date younger women and older women date younger men? Why would it be "creepy" for an older woman to "sexually exploit"- younger men but "not creepy" for older men to feed off of younger women's energy and youthful looks?
Cindy O
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 267
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 7/19/2010 6:03:03 PM
Around here, there's what we call "the creepy rule." Anyone less than half your age plus five is considered "creepy."
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 270
Age gap...
Posted: 7/22/2010 7:11:03 PM
Bless your heart MrFication. Been there. Oh wait, still there. I may be old, but I'm not attracted to ancient either.

 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 272
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Age gap...
Posted: 7/24/2010 4:00:59 PM
I was at a dance party last night with a bunch of mostly college aged dancers and the girls started talking about creepy older guys. There's one guy older than me who hangs around with this dance crowd but he's a really good dancer and definitely not creepy. However, there *is* a problem with certain older (i.e. 50+) men on the dance floor. I don't know what it is, but most of them come off as creepy. The young girls *really* do not like dancing with them and were complaining to me about it. It isn't just their age, it's their vibes. Mostly, they don't seem particularly predatory but more needy than anything. They latch onto girls instead of mixing around and then the girls don't know how to get rid of them. They were asking me for advice. Where are the cool older guys? Probably found a girlfriend and quit going out.


I've thought about this and have narrowed my age range.

What would I, as a 46 year old man, have in common with someone in their teens and 20s?


Well, conversationally I can find areas of common interest with people of *any* age if they are intelligent and interesting. I was invited to a dance party last night where I was one of two people over the age of 30 (the other guy being in his 60s - I'm 57.) This wasn't a public event where anyone could walk in, it was a private party. Besides that I'm a good dance partner, I take a genuine interest in the people around me. One guy was telling me about the research he's involved in, another girl was telling me about the various places she's lived. A few of us had an engaging conversation about bicycling. However, I'm not there looking for a date. Relationshipwise, the wider the gap - whether it be age, culture, whatever - the more cautiously I'm going to proceed.

BTW, I hang out a lot with a 14 year old musician and we have more in common than I do with a lot of people my age who gave up being interested in life about 15 years ago.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 273
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:04:52 AM
When someone is "in heat" the age difference doesn't matter.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 274
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:06:17 AM
Northern:

Its just as creepy to see 50 yr old men with 30 yr old women or even younger but if you are in heat nothing matters like having something in common.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 278
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 12:50:26 PM
Hey, I'm 29 and my husband is 49.


20 years difference. My late husband is 20 years my senior, and some women friends or newly acquainted are curious > an ashamely asked is it still standing ? My reply is I make it stand , curious friends - my husband is this age --younger than your husband blah blah" ( my sex life is private and sacred and I don't want to be a party conversation) I answered them pissily, to thread a little needle of a limp thread wet the end to make the thread stand and shoot it to the hole of the needle and if I can do that successfully, what more of a wenie of man that has bones and alive, that shut them up. Geesh, Some women have no bounderies,

I do clothing industries...

msg380 that is a turn On---- on laughing ............................
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 279
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 4:33:15 PM
Txrose:

I don't have leathery nasty 40 something skin that makes me look like an old lizard. Boy do the men in their 60s look ancient with that look but yet again my mom is 65 and I'm 45, she didn't wait until middle age to have me so the men in their 60s would be daddy looking to me.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 280
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:21:39 PM
Demonleather.....you sure are picky. .....................................................................
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 281
Age gap...
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:32:38 PM
A big age gap is nothing but a fantasy. Why waste time on illusions? It makes perfect sense to date someone close to one's own age or a few years up or down. However, women (usually) mature earlier than men so if an older man starts dating a younger woman it doesn't even raise an eyebrow - depending on HOW much younger of course.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 283
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History
Age gap...
Posted: 11/12/2010 2:25:25 PM
Four years ago, I was 52, and a 20 year old female clerk made it very clear that she would like to go out with me. I look, and probably act 10 years younger than my age, and she knew how old I was. She said that age didn't matter. I was very flattered that major sparks could fly between a man of my age, and someone so young, energetic, and very attractive. I politely thanked her, but declined.

Weeks later I heard her talking on the phone with one of her friends. The drama that was in her life would be enough for a Weekly Situation Comedy, or a Drama Series on television! Hearing about her particular life and challenges, plus her phone conversation, I realized that I didn't want to raise her, or her daughter.

This was the first of 3 separate 20 something women, who, in the space of 3 years, have showed an interest in dating me.

For me, there were too many differences in where we each were in our lives, interests, accomplishments and values. I'm more settled, and probably too set in my ways to deal with at least one drama scene a week ... isn't that what television is for ?

My parents were 7 years apart in age, as were my Grandparents. My most compatible relationships have been with women who were about 8 years younger than me, including one relationship where we bought investment property together and talked about Marriage. Thru the past 20 plus years, an approximate 8 year age difference is what's worked best for me.

If I were considering a much younger woman to date, I would probably not date someone who was younger than 38. For the record, yes I have dated older women but none of those dates have ever worked out for me.
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 285
Age gap...
Posted: 11/12/2010 10:34:11 PM
18 to 88 it doesn't matter to me. if we enjoy each others company i say go for it.
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