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 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 74
Second ChancesPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I can forgive and put things behind me very well , but that doesn't mean I believe in second chances. I have given people second chances before and it always ends up the same- with me kicking myself for giving them said second chance!
Depending on what they needed a second chance for , I might entertain the notion ,but if it's anything like lying,cheating,abuse etc, well no second chances available, so sorry sir!
 Sadie415
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 75
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 1:37:49 PM
Timing is everything for me. If it's too early in a relationship, forget it. Later on, if too much time goes by, forget it. I think it's easier to forgive someone if you were able to evolve and be yourself while in the relationship.
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 76
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 3:09:26 PM
It would depend on how I felt about the person. If I truly loved them of course I would give them a second, a third, maybe even a fourth. However if I didn't love them, then no I would not give them a second chance.
 Justlooking4u_77
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 77
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:21:29 PM
This is a hard question. I think if it is serious enough then NO they don't get a second chance. But if it was something small then yes by all means they should have one...everyone makes mistakes.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:25:21 PM
To a degree, everyone deserves a second chance.

Except for some things.
Cheaters, abusive people... no way in hell. They've shown their colors, and I want nothing to do with them.

But, if a woman was... negligent... not really committed to the relationship... didn't try to make it work... I'll give her another chance if she realizes what she's done (or not done). Sometimes it doesn't sink in that you're not being a good partner until it's too late.
 roxanachic18
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 79
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:23:24 PM
once its over his butt is out the door...there are no second chances
 crabstuffing
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 80
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:24:24 PM
Never had a 2nd chance that worked out favorably.
 BadBrain
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 81
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:33:07 PM
^^^^ I'd agree with that, so given my track record, I'd say when its over its over...
 Hervie1
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 82
Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:37:10 PM
Well..it really depends on what...but I've given dozens of chances in my life...sometimes there just comes a point where there is NO point anymore. I think "Deal-breakers" are exactly that though...can't get around them I'm afraid.

Did I mention the definition of stupidity?

Repeating the same actions again and again, and expecting a different outcome :)

I've never done that of course
 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 83
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:17:49 AM
[bump]

Yes, I'm dreaming of a second chance. I want to send her my words again and again, show up with flowers in a thunderstorm, write poems in the sand and mail them to her, and keep knocking until she cracks the door for me.

My contrition is absolute, the less on has been learned in the most painful of ways, the changes within are complete; yet into the night with hand unheld I must go.

Don't women want a man who wants to move the earth to be with them? I only want a second chance to try.
 Greeneyezz
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 84
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:32:00 AM
It would depend on what they did.

#1 biggest no no for me = "cheating" - NO 2nd chance at all ever.

All other problems, mistakes, issues, etc. would be on an individual basis & by "degree"...
 joanie23
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 86
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 12:07:44 PM
It depends on why the relationship failed, I think.

But if it was cheating I would say no, like the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
 Lovingmom1981
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 87
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:19:50 PM
I believe in second chances depend on why we broke up the first time. If you cheated on me then no. Cause if you cheated then you didn't want to be with me in the first place.
 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 88
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:04:40 PM
I would accept a second chance that would take years - she hit me that hard...right in the heart.
 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 89
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:14:14 PM
posh4
Are you perfect? Do you know anyone who is?
Have you never made a mistake? Know any flawless people?
Have you never repeated a mistake? Know anyone who has never made the same twice?
_____

Wishing for a second chance when the contrition is sincere is not too much to hope for.
Showing someone that you have turned that corner completely is impossible without one.
_____

To err is human. To forgive, divine.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:49:04 PM

(Msg 94) Wishing for a second chance when the contrition is sincere is not too much to hope for.


I have to wonder if the person you are hoping will forgive you really loved you to begin with. You may be much better off finding someone new.

You have asked to be forgiven. If the person has such difficulty doing so it does not look good for the long run. Surely you don't want to spend the rest of your life making amends.
 shiftywil
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 95
Second Chances
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:39:18 PM
Hell someone should tell my ex to give a second chance. She barely even gave me a first one. We dated, married, we got pregnant, her immature mind told her that it was my fault that she got pregnant so she denied me any ......any..... And that led into fights, I got angy, the kid soon was born, and I rarely came home, she one day told me that I was no longer the man she fell in love with and would rather sleep with another man than to be with me I told her fine pack her shit and leave " Go to your Mothers " She had called me on the phone that night and threatened to kill haer self and my son while driving. I knew she would not but the threat intended was not good, so I took him away for a while she got better, grew up and things in her head is good. Now she is an extremely beautiful,intelligent,mature(at times), and great mother. The only thing is she will not give me a chance. She gives all her other f-ed up bf's all the chances they can get but the one who should count the most and is doing the best; I get crapped on.
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 97
Second Chances
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:54:32 PM
Second chances have never worked out for me.

Even if I stay with the guy after he asks for a second chance, I don't have any feelings for him anymore. For me there's no going back emotionally......that's something that can't be forced.....either it's there or it isn't.
 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 98
Second Chances
Posted: 6/16/2006 11:05:13 PM
All I was is a second start. The potential was so amazingly high. UGH!
 LaylaRose
Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 100
Second Chances
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:17:02 PM
sometimes things spiral out of control to the point that any second chance is closer to a snowball's chance in hell. But I never say never...because every time I do I end up eating my words.

My last love is lost to me. He and I were as close to perfect as I could imagine, although not without our issues, or we would still be together. The issues are insurmountable and prevent any future happiness for us as a couple...but I still wish him well and hope he finds his happiness in the arms of another.
 Greeneyezz
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 101
Second Chances
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:42:26 PM
Msg:101 Shiftywil

Hell someone should tell my ex to give a second chance. She barely even gave me a first one. We dated, married, we got pregnant, her immature mind told her that it was my fault that she got pregnant so she denied me any ......any..... And that led into fights, I got angy, the kid soon was born, and I rarely came home, she one day told me that I was no longer the man she fell in love with and would rather sleep with another man than to be with me I told her fine pack her shit and leave " Go to your Mothers " She had called me on the phone that night and threatened to kill haer self and my son while driving. I knew she would not but the threat intended was not good, so I took him away for a while she got better, grew up and things in her head is good. Now she is an extremely beautiful,intelligent,mature(at times), and great mother. The only thing is she will not give me a chance. She gives all her other f-ed up bf's all the chances they can get but the one who should count the most and is doing the best; I get crapped on.


Been there/done that, almost the same circumstance's but a little different - it ain't worth it dude,

let it go and find someone who will love/accept & respect you as you are.
 Greeneyezz
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 102
Second Chances
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:45:23 PM
LaylaRose

My last love is lost to me. He and I were as close to perfect as I could imagine, although not without our issues, or we would still be together. The issues are insurmountable and prevent any future happiness for us as a couple...but I still wish him well and hope he finds his happiness in the arms of another.


you're a sweetheart!
 Trishnaa
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 103
Second Chances
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:52:05 PM
Ha ha ha that's hilarious....

Sometimes hypocrisy is just too funny to believe it.

~*Flavia*~
 cherrytree1
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 105
Second Chances: A Specific Case
Posted: 7/13/2006 3:43:18 PM
Some people on this thread are saying it is conditional upon the circumstances. So, I will give my situation and ask for people's imput.
For several months I maintained an intense on-line relationship with a woman who lives far away. She said she was willing to re-locate so that was not an issue. During this time, I had alot of debts and could not afford to go and see her. Recently, I have gotten a job promotion and am now making alot more money. Problem solved? Now she will not speak to me or return my letters although in an e-mail, I explained my situation has changed. Someone has advised me to give her a few months to get over her hurt feelings before I approach her again on a purely friendly basis. We both had good intentions but it didn't have a chance to get off the ground. Do I deserve a second chance or does she? Is this worth pursuing? Any constructive comments appreciated.
 DonnaB
Joined: 7/7/2006
Msg: 106
Second Chances
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:33:32 PM
If both people have taken the time to sit back and look at what mistakes they both made, And if they still love eachother and have honestly learned from their mistakes, then sure
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