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 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 276
Is separated single?Page 12 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Separated is still married and if the wife will have them back they will go home. Married men say they are separated when they want to play. They want sex period. To cheap to pay a pro when there are so many charity whores who will give it away. If it's there they will lie to get it. Never date a married man. If he is ending a marriage he will be getting a divorce, and I would damm sure have to see the papers before believing him. Live and learn girls. THERE IS NO FUTURE IN A SEPARATED OR MARRIED MAN. There are lots of single guys out there,why waste your time and be stressed out over some jerk? [ I am just trying to be honest here and mean no harm to you ladies here on line.] and THINK
 cegsfine
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 277
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:20:27 PM
Hold on I am separated from my hubby and have been for almost 3 yrs but we also still live in the same house but not by my choice thats for damn sure. There is no possible way i would stay married to this man and could never ever go back to him, the divorce is still on going but he wont move out and I cant afford to yet. And yes i consider myself single as well do my kids see there mom and dad this way. We dont bring dates to the house and dont talk about it, well we try not to but it tends to come up in arguements......lol But I explain my situation to anyone who shows interest in me and can guarentee them i wont be stayin with my soon to be ex. So I dont see separated people as a red flag at all. I am totally honest in tellin others where I am in my situation. So please dont say all separated people should be a red flag, sometimes you are just in a situation that you are tryin to get out of but the other party wants to make you life hell for as long as they can b 4 they cant any longer......lol
 checkin-u
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 278
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:42:46 PM
wow, feel your pain there, dont see how you can manage (and for 3 yrs) to be living in the same house...oh HELLLLLLLL no.....im not so sure id want to date some separated guy still living with his ex...yeah, seems like lots of drama.
 rwedonealready
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 279
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:45:47 PM
I think it all depends on the situation.
If there are kids involved, there are many other, more important factors that will be involved.
No kids, I don't see the excuse.
With kids...everyone's situation is different and it might not be so bad.
I still don't believe a piece of paper saying 'divorce' means everything....but that's just me.
 someonesmermaid
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 280
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:54:02 PM
DESIGNING WOMAN - I admire the fact that you ALWAYS stick to your guns. Admirable.

My view is a little different....
When you split, you split. Someone leaves the house and ultimately, there is one party terribly scorned. To get a divorce right away is emotional and financial suicide. In many cases, it's more advantageous to allow some time to pass (my parents waited 26 years before heading to chapters to file their own divorce). It cost them a mere $120.00 each rather than the tens of thousands some pay when angry and hasty. The way I see it is that if you're planning to marry another, get the divorce. Being seperated is just as solid as being divorced without the headache of barristers, therapists and creative accountants. Once it's over, it's over.
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 281
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:42:36 PM

Separated is still married and if the wife will have them back they will go home. Married men say they are separated when they want to play. They want sex period. To cheap to pay a pro when there are so many charity whores who will give it away. If it's there they will lie to get it.


You have a sick opinion of men in general. Have you considered counselling?
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 282
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 10:54:30 PM
^^^Her view soundsl like all seperated men are like when Wilma throws Fred out of the House and he has to go sleep over at Barny & Betty's....funny, I don't remember Fred trying to date

 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 283
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:13:16 AM
I think she's gotta date out of the trailerpark.

And you, Bandito, have gotta date, period. Your profile says you want to, but you say here you don't. Book a babysitter and get some air, man. My kids are teenagers but my 14 year old daughter is scouting the moms at the stables for me. Wants to find me a woman with horses. LOL.

And I'm still curious what 'dating' means as a 'marital status'. I always thought it meant either 'widowed-but-don't-want-the-negativity-that-comes-with-the-label-and-implied-emotional-baggage' or 'married-but-an-open-marriage.' Personally, I wouldn't date either one of those. But I think someone is living in a glass house and shouldn't be casting stones.
 zig02
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 284
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:09:10 AM
Well I've now read the entire thread - all 12 pages - and my opinions on the "dating while separated" topic have changed completely. Goes to show that POF can be educational...
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 285
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:34:30 AM
That could be a new thread: Does anyone have their mind changed by reading the forums? I thought we were only doing this for the entertainment value.

Seriously, I have to admit that the thread on successful women dating "down" changed my mind on that subject. Fortunately, that increased the size of my pool. Has your pool shrunk or grown, Zig?
 blu_eyed_gal
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 286
Is seperated single? - cegsfine
Posted: 3/29/2006 4:26:01 AM
^^^ditto that definately
 Vorax
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 287
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:30:29 AM
Separated is still married and if the wife will have them back they will go home.


Oh come on!!! Men dont' leave women?? I was the one that left, not my wife. She couldn't "have" me back, because I don't want her!



Married men say they are separated when they want to play. They want sex period.


WRONG - I hate man-hating generalizations.

FYI - Men cheating won't say they are seperated, they will say they are single to avoid all the questions. Think about it. Only a stupid man would claim on a site like this to be seperated to fool around.



To cheap to pay a pro when there are so many charity whores who will give it away. If it's there they will lie to get it. Never date a married man. If he is ending a marriage he will be getting a divorce, and I would damm sure have to see the papers before believing him.


Thanks for sharing you baggage - stop generalizing



Live and learn girls. THERE IS NO FUTURE IN A SEPARATED OR MARRIED MAN. There are lots of single guys out there,why waste your time and be stressed out over some jerk? [ I am just trying to be honest here and mean no harm to you ladies here on line.] and THINK


This whole post backs up my theory - Don't date anyone that wouldn't date someone who's seperated because they have serious baggage and trust issues!!


PS: Completely OT - blu_eyed_gal - OMG your hot!! :)
 Alex_HUN
Joined: 8/13/2004
Msg: 288
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:40:28 AM

Would you wish to involve yourself with someone not legally divorced?


If her name is not Angelina Jolie, than I wouldn't make such an exception....prefer singles that never have been married yet
 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 289
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 2:46:06 PM
Cegsfine, No offence meant towards you .We all make our own decisions.Yeah,sure but I bet it is pure hell for the kids listening to you two argue.3 years to get a divorce, and he won't leave so maybe you should have him removed from the home and get a life cause the one you stated you are living sure doesn't sound like it would be very good for you or your kids, or your husband either. Just the same you both are still married and have no business dating others. Not very good role models for your kids. If he is making your life hell it is because you are letting him get by with it. It will continue as long as you let him get by with it. Good luck!
 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 290
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 2:54:42 PM
stillin limbo, I do not have a sick opinion of men. Just sick jerks like you need the counselling.
There are a lot of good men out there. What I said is true about a lot of separated and married men. Just read some of the profiles on this site. You are just smarting off because I got you pegged.
 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 291
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 2:58:15 PM
bandito, Cute. I had to laugh!
 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 292
Is seperated single? - cegsfine
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:14:18 PM
mr m Thank you for your post. At least I know someone out there uses thier brain.
 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 293
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/29/2006 10:36:28 PM
vorax, the point of a thread is to say what you think. you have done that, which is your right to your opinion even if it is wrong..Read your first 3 sentences, conterdictory. I do not have any baggage and I trust people until I am given a reason not to.I DO NOT HATE MEN.You are wrong to assume otherwise.NO I WOULD NOT DATE OR TRUST A SEPARATED OR MARRIED MAN as I said there is no future in it. I was married a long time and had a good happy marriage until he died of cancer.
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 294
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:26:09 AM
'widowed-but-don't-want-the-negativity-that-comes-with-the-label-and-implied-emotional-baggage'


What a lucky guess. I didn't actually read your profile, floky. That was aimed in Thai's direction and I'd still like an explanation for the meaning of "dating" when its given as a 'marital status.' You, at least, have the honesty to state your circumstances.

However,
I trust people until I am given a reason not to.I DO NOT HATE MEN.You are wrong to assume otherwise.NO I WOULD NOT DATE OR TRUST A SEPARATED....


fails my IQ limits . But I won't be asking you out anyway because I'm going to adopt what I think we should name "THE VORAX RULE" (
Don't date anyone that wouldn't date someone who's separated because they have serious baggage and trust issues!!


And if you look back, you'll see good manners all around for most of 12 pages until someone weighed in msg 277 with "charity whores' and "jerks" and more.

Kudos to Vorax for showing more restraint than I care to.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 295
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 5:18:13 AM
floky - You sound like a great person, and I love your sense of humour and your intelligence.
 blacksheep29
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 296
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 5:41:02 AM
I think "seperated" is a relative term, I mean come on, if the couple is still living together, are they truly seperated? Personally, I've been seperated from my husband for 7 months now. But, when we seperated, I left him and moved myself and our children into our own place. I won't ever live with him again, and I don't sleep with him, or spend time with him unless it's a school function, or some such thing for our children. So, I think something like that would be truly seperated, and yes, I consider myself single. Now, if I was still living with my husband, or sleeping with him, or dating him, then no, that wouldn't be seperated or single. Just my opinion.
 panaqqa
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 297
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:09:57 AM
On the original topic...

Single is single, the person has never married.
Divorced is not single - you were married at one time.
Widowed is not single - see divorced above.
Separated is not single - you are still married.

Anyone who has ever been married in their entire life at any time is not single. Period.

As to people having red flags with people who are separated, well in some cases they should have them. You can never know before it happens how the divorce is going to go (if in fact they want to take that step). If it turns from being uncontested to being nasty, then a new boyfriend/girlfriend can easily get dragged into the proceedings. Imagine, if you will, a lawyer arguing in court that a woman needs less or no alimony because she now has a boyfriend who can support her. So the new boyfriend gets dragged into court to provide income statements, list of assets, etc.

Who needs the drama?
 angelab
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 298
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:20:37 AM
^^^
That's exactly why I won't respond to separated people.

There are too many nasty situations that can spring up with it... A relative of mine dated a woman (who is now his wife) while he was separated from his former wife, and they actually had to be all hush hush and stealth about keeping it a secret until the divorce was final because she was constantly trying to get evidence that they were together to bring up in court to get more money out of him... And they were fifty friggin years old at the time. I don't have the time or the energy to deal with that stuff.

And no, if you're separated you're not single because you're still married. Date people if you want, but the legal stuff binding you and your former husband/wife is still there.
 yourdelights
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 299
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:23:52 AM
Single is single, the person has never married.
Divorced is not single - you were married at one time.
Widowed is not single - see divorced above.
Separated is not single - you are still married.

Anyone who has ever been married in their entire life at any time is not single. Period.

With that outlook is it possible that is why you are still single at 42?

Actually I just read your profile, now I know why you are still single at 42 lol.
 cegsfine
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 300
Is seperated single? - cegsfine
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:29:30 AM
You are so very wrong. I have a soon to be ex who wont leave the house and i cant force him to, I was a stay at home mom for most of my married life and just started working when we decided to get divorced, So i dont make the kinda money that is necessary to support me and my 4 kids alone, i need child support and to sell our house b 4 i can get out, and if I was still sleepin with him then i wouldnt be gettin divorced, i cant stand the man any more and i dunno about you but i dont sleep with guys i cant stand. And i sure as hell dont need nor want a sugar daddy I am just going to start my life dont need another man tellin me what i can and cannot do, Its just a situation i am stuck with for now but better be freed from it soon, So dont make guesses about why i am still in the house, all ya had to do was ask, i am very open and honest about my situation. And yes i am not interested in dateing a married man so of course i will put that in my profile. I am separated, go ask the courts if I am or not. I know there are people who wont see why i am stuck but the smart ones will understand the situation, the others just havent been in my situation so cant judge me. Once i made up my mind we were done i stopped sleepin with him.
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