Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is "separated" single?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cegsfine
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 301
Is separated single?Page 13 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
floky, My kids dont know we date we dont tell them, they dont need to meet anyone i am not serious about.I cant have him removed unless he is abusive, besides he is a good dad, and we work different hours so we dont see one another much, we both just lead lives out side of our home. And yes any guy can call me at anytime. You all need to open your mind a little and see that people do what they have to to survive in this world. OMG if i could have ended it 3 yrs ago i would have, but with kids , a house and assets things dont go so smoothly when trying to split things, My kids will grow up just fine. I have dated b 4 and the guys I have dated are just fine with the situation, they know i am not inolved with my soon to be ex in any way but raisein our kids. We handle what we are delt in life and this is the way we are dealing with the situation. If ya dont like it then oh well not your life dont worry about it.
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 302
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 8:41:27 AM
There's another thread that asks the question, (I paraphrase), "How can I trust anyone that I've met on POF to remain faithful?" And another that asks, "How soon should we 'go all the way.' These are related to the issue at hand. Most of my input on this has been the fact that people
(a) aren't very trusting, and
(b) are sleeping together sooner than I think is prudent.
I think its unrelated to the label. Anyone I might sleep with will as likely as not have already met my kids. Anyone I might sleep with will have known me long enough to have an idea of the state of my relationship with my ex since anyone I might sleep with would, by definition, be in a committed relationship with me and might very well have to interact with the ex when I'm handing off the kids for a visit. That won't change when I'm divorced. That's an issue of having kids. Not sure how that earns me the 'snake' label.
As to the liability or fear of getting mixed up in something, in my juridiction, as previously mentioned, there are no legal aspects of note. You could just as easily hook up with a stockbroker who's about to get nailed for insider trading.

My handle refers to when I was in Ceg's position for four months. I'm keeping it now 'cause everyone's come to know and love me.

And I'll start a new thread to ask why "dating" is provided as a choice for marital status.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 303
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 8:54:05 AM
panaqqa - Your defination of single is totally accurate. I get a little annoyed with any Canadian Govt. or Canadian Banking forms that list only separated, divorced and single. (Happens a lot.) Even the Canadian Govt. and Banks can't get the defination of single correct by also give the option of selecting Widow/widower as a defination of a person's status.
Probably the forms were created by a person with baggage. Joking - ha ha.
 happycanuck2005
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 304
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 9:00:12 AM
Not having been thru this situation(still single),the person who signs the cheque,at least in Canada,is the man.It doesn't matter if the woman wants out first or not.Also,correct me if I'm wrong,but isn't there a time period(2yrs?) in this country,prior to divorce?.....JON
 happycanuck2005
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 305
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 9:17:04 AM
Happy your divorce happened within 3 months.There is a difference between Illinois and this country.There is a waiting time of 1 maybe 2yrs,before contesting
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 306
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:22:58 AM
seperated is still legally married

not into being someones rebound
 Bluesmanon45
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 307
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:27:03 AM
so what takes the "re" away from the bound? I dont get that particular connection really, I mean, one is legal, the other is emotional...at least to me.

You can go through rebound in junior high....you cant have a legal marriage in junior high (that I am aware of) and I would think that someone could learn through the years how to get through with the whole process of rebounding altogether, where you grab someone to fill a hole instead of grabbing your own shovel and filling it yourself. ya know?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 308
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:45:53 AM
happycanuck2005 - pls don't say that the person who signs the cheque in Canada is the man.

Where did that come from ??????????????????

Do you really believe that in Canada the man in the marriage does the banking and only the man does the signs cheques ????????

What could u be thinking to make a statement like that????????
 denimandlace46
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 309
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 11:59:40 AM
I was thinking the same thing moraima!
 wannashakeyourtree
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 310
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:32:33 PM
I try to keep my list of "redflags" to a minimum because I try to be an openminded person.

I don't choose my friends in such a narrow minded view as i've learned to love them in spite of my faults...why would I choose my partner any different???
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 311
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:51:52 PM

Single is single, the person has never married.
Divorced is not single - you were married at one time.
Widowed is not single - see divorced above.
Separated is not single - you are still married.


uh..

single is single - correct

divorce is not single - incorrect.. i'm divorced and last i check I dont have some man hanging off my ass.. that constitutes me as single..

widow is single - see above..

seperated is not single - ok i'll give you that one too..
 Vorax
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 312
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:05:28 PM
vorax, the point of a thread is to say what you think. you have done that, which is your right to your opinion even if it is wrong..Read your first 3 sentences, conterdictory. I do not have any baggage and I trust people until I am given a reason not to.I DO NOT HATE MEN.You are wrong to assume otherwise.NO I WOULD NOT DATE OR TRUST A SEPARATED OR MARRIED MAN as I said there is no future in it. I was married a long time and had a good happy marriage until he died of cancer.


I am curious, you say I contridicted myself, yet I fail to see how.

You make this claim amongst your own blatant contridiction -- you say you trust people until given a reason not to, but then say you would not trust a seperated man. Therefore contridicticting your first statement because you didn't qualify it with any act that he made which would have disuaded your trust.

You claim I am wrong, but you are the one speaking from guestimation and supposition. It is you who are wrong. I speak not from rumor or third hand knowledge, but from first hand experience. I am a seperated man and I know what my situation is and I know my marriage will never be rekindled. You only speak from fear and mistrust. It's your right and priveledge to act on your fear and doubt, but don't think they make you right.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 313
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:16:33 PM
dacainaru: You tell 'em. I couldn't agree more. I paid a lot of money to have that "single" title back in my possession. I get the distinct impression someone up a post or two has a nasty attitude about his own status.

Unless I am married, I am single.

I do have one question......what about Anullments? Would those people be ~ invisible???? Anullments mean it never happened, but we all know, to get an Anullment it did happen, but it didn't happen for long, or is that it didn't happen for real??? Hmmm...I think I'm still single!!!
 panaqqa
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 314
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:22:41 PM
@ yourdelights ^^^ :

Perhaps the reason I am single at 42 is that my fiancee of 4 years died of leukaemia a few years ago. And perhaps the 10 or so women who respond to my profile weekly see though my brand of humour and are curious. And perhaps, just perhaps, forums are not the place for personal attacks.

@ dacainaru ^^^ :

I stand by my assertion. Once you were married, your single status ended. For the rest of your life. If you take a cucumber and put it in brine it becomes a pickle. And if you remove it from the brine it does not become a cucumber again - it is still a pickle no matter how long you wait.
 stoppingin
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 315
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:44:35 PM
No, separated is still married. Why would anyone who is serious about a relationship want to put her self in a situation like that? Its too easy for him to return to the wife.....I won't date any guy that is married, separated, or less than a year divorced. I did that for awhile and I got really tired really fast of only talking about the ex....no matter what I did to change the subject, somehow the ex was always a part of the conversation. I'm not going there again...
 yourdelights
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 316
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:52:33 PM
Sorry to hear about that......I jumped to a conclusion...but I still think your outlook on this subject is out to lunch.

Single, divorced, seperated for a long period of time, widowed are alll single....there are no significant others in their lives. Period.
 yourdelights
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 317
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 2:03:00 PM
Why in the heck does everyone figure its so easy to go back to their wives? WHO IN THE HELL WANTS TO DO THAT???????? Or women go back to there husbands?

There is usually a good explination as to why they are seperated.

In my case she was the one to leave to be with someone else. If she wanted to go she can pay for the legal fees, I already let her have anything she wanted. I left the house for a week, and let her pack & take anything her heart desired. Would I allow her to come back HHHHHHEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOO! We haven't even spoke since the day she left 4 1/2 years ago.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 318
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 2:04:38 PM
vorax - When you get a little old and wiser, you will look back and realise how wrong your opinion in your last post is. Shedding baggage takes time. We all are guilt of thinking we are ready for our next relatioship before we are. Thank God, time heal all (if we let it).
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 319
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 2:06:02 PM
YD: I agree, but I wonder what a "long period of time" is. To some, a week my be a long period of time. The reality is: if you get involved with someone merely separated, you are putting yourself at risk. I have a rule about divorce/separated men: if they aren't completely on their own for at least a year, it's not going to happen. First of all, I don't want to be a rebound, second..there is a lot of drama that goes on during a divorce, I don't have any interest in knowing all the dirty little details.
 cee4
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 320
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 2:11:34 PM
Separated = I'm not interested. Period.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 321
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 2:15:04 PM
Uh Hmmmmmmmm!!!!! Is it me, or are we now in the Christians R Us forum????? What is that about??????? I didn't sign up for Christianity 101. Hmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!! Wrong thread dear, you may want to stay on topic.
 Vorax
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 322
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 2:59:06 PM
Well Moriama,

First, I'm 34, not exactly a child and you know nothing of my situtation.

To everyone else:

Here's why I take so much offense to this entire thread.

My wife cheated on me, 3 years ago. This is why I am getting a divorce.

I spent over 2 years, living in a seperate room from my wife. I did this to give her time to get on her feet and get a job before I left her and the kids. She did finally get a job, and I left her the house, agreed to pay $2200 dollars a month in Child support and $400 a month in alimony. I moved out one week after she was employed. I payed $30K dollars cash that month so all debts would be covered and I would have my own place to live. I did these things ONLY for my kids.

Now I am leagally required to wait another 10 months before I can file for divorce. I have been alone for over 2 years.

Now, had I been cruel to my kids and just up and left, I would have been *legally* seperated and DIVORCED right now....and all you ladies would think -- He's divorced, now he's viable. When infact, I would have screwed the future of my kids for myself.

So in my case, I am being punished for being honest (actually saying seperated in my profile) and for doing the right thing (opting to make sure my kids are ok first).

This is why I don't like reading the "don't trust seperated"...or..."avoid serpated" -- get to know the people, not their label
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 323
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 3:47:56 PM
vorax I learned alot more from the age of 33 until 50, and am still learning very day, which is such a blessing. Being separated is a terrible time for all involved no matter how hard we work to do the right thing. My issue is not with separated people as my heart goes out to them. My issue with not dating a separated person, is that I can't be part of the healing process. One thing I have learned is that, I along with everyone else has to deal with the problems of life myself or I will never learn anything. I see nothing wrong with separated people dating separated people. Each offering comfort to the other. We all need company from time to time. Single and separated people live totally different lifestyles, lifestyles that the other at that point it time would not be comfortable being part of.
 ChefGlen
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 324
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 3:53:08 PM
Hello,

I am legally separated. Personally I think its just a way for Lawyers to make more money.
I now have to spend $1500 more dollars to call the 30 page document I already have a divorce document which I only need if I re- marry, which is un likely. My main point is that don't cast someone aside because they are legally separated. There is a big difference.
A legal separation is pretty much a divorce document. If there is no legal separation document I would be careful. In the eyes of the law you are married baby.Financially the original document still stands which is the mariage document. Contractually the biggest mistake anyone could ever make in my books. I don't even think it has anything to do with religion. What people do to people in the name of mariage I think God would say I did not create that institution man did.
Good Peace and Good Will toward Man ! not in the hearts of mariage break ups I believe !

God Bless..

Glen
 Bluesmanon45
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 325
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/30/2006 4:04:16 PM
Contractually it is a matter of written law, and that varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction if you are talking about dating....some states let you date as soon as you can prove a different dwelling as your permanent residence, other states count it infidelity until you get papers and you are legally liable for that behavior. Legal law is legal law and differs widely from state to state and country to country.


So after having said all that, it's still not a good idea to date until the emotional issues are settled in everyone involved, even if there is no legal liability to consider. Bitter emotions make legal fees staggering, and that is the very least of the long term consequences of them.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is "separated" single?