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Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 798
Is separated single?Page 16 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Old Girl--- he's playing you like a fiddle--He has you,and the girlfriends he doesn't have to commit to because he's still "married' ---Why would he even want to remarry ??? he's got it made and it's not costing him--and he's not loosing anything---

Hate to tell ya,, In my book--your still married
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 799
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/4/2006 4:50:26 AM
It depends on who you ask. The person who is separated will say "yes," but to anyone dating them, it is an escapable fact that the separated one is not yet completely available.
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 800
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/4/2006 7:00:25 AM
I was sepertated from my ex husband for 3 years before we got offically divorced, cuz i didnt have the money to and i had no reason for it i wasnt dating anyone seriously. He was dating a girl for 2 years then asked me if i can go with him to file for divorce so he paid for it all ha ha. I dated a few guys in that time and they didnt seem to have a problem with it. Now if things got serious then sure i would have found a way to come up with the money. As long as you are not still inlove or hoping to work it out at some point i dont see anything wrong with dating while seperated ..I concidered myself single once we split cuz i knew there was no way we where getting back together.

I wouldnt say no to a seperated guy as long as there is no chance of him getting back with her. I been there and i know how hard it is to get out there and date when seperated.
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 801
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/4/2006 7:17:27 AM
Have i wished some (more than can fit in a breadbox) separated guys were single? Yes.
Would i become involved with some separated guy? No.
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 802
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:40:02 AM
While in college studying family law, we had this question on an exam. Married = married. Divorced = no longer married, with a decree signed by a judge. Separated is still married. Under the law, without a bill of divorcement [decree], you are still married. And I learned the easy way that staying married "for the children" only hurts them worse in the long run. Children are so intelligent and perceptive, and so many adults fail to credit them with that. They know the score. It is far more hurtful to see their parents miserable and trapped in an arrangement "for the good of the children".

If you are separated, you are married. If you think not, wait and see what happens if there is a medical catastrophe. Your spouse will have to sign consent papers. Your estate would pass to someone you don't love anymore. These are all things you need to consider.

Off the soap box and the track it veered into.
 sweet kisser
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 803
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:19:03 AM
When I left my ex-husband (we are now divorced) as soon as I walked out that door with me and the kids I considered myself no longer married. The marriage was over and done with and I had no intention at all of ever going back. So, I don't agree that all men and/or women are considering going back with their ex and are just looking around for anything that they can get. Sure, there might be some that use that as an excuse or a ploy to get into someone's bed....but there will always be that type of person around. Give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are honestly looking for a new relationship and are indeed totally finished with the former one. Why do we mistrust people so much? Why do we always assume the worst? Look for the best in people instead. Maybe I"m a dreamer or totally naive.....but I prefer to trust than to mistrust.
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 808
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/7/2006 2:07:03 PM
I would not go out with a man who is "separated"...separated does not mean free. He may be free in his heart of hearts, but legally he would be committing adultry...that's why we cannot marry someone without first being divorced from our last spouse. If I can't marry him, I certainly would not invest time and energy into him. Not that I would marry anyone, but I would not spend time with someone already married...hense...separated still equals legally tied to someone...married.
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 809
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:26:17 PM
intelligently put,no one could have said it better!
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 810
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:30:20 PM
intelligently put puppet master,no one could have said it better!
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 811
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:44:27 PM
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 812
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 8:08:00 PM
Mark of the beast is right Val' :(
Time after time you see "I want someone honest" which I totally agree with btw. I'd rather be real about it and list seperated and not have to explain LATER to someone that took the time to write me and say "well I'm not really divorced yet..." In my mind doing it like that should be a bigger red flag then someone listing seperated right off the bat.

I think if it says seperated, why not just write and ask questions? If they don't respond with answers that work for you then move on. Whatever happened to benefit of the doubt? I'm starting to feel like I live on a different planet.

Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 814
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:01:18 PM
My question. I am dating a legally separated guy. He has been separated for almost two years. He says he's waiting for his ex-wife to claim divorce so he can give her the least amount of money. He says he doesn't want to initiate divorce because she'll run off with like half a million dollars. I asked him when he thinks he'll be divorced? He estimates 1-2 years from now. He is very bitter cuz she left him for another man. No kids. what's the big deal about money? It seems he and his ex are trying to see who will blink first. Do I believe this money excuse for not filing for divorce?
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 815
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:24:01 PM
Separated is SEPARATED. It's not divorced. If you are not free to marry, then you are not single. Look it up in the dictionary if you can't grasp the definition. It isn't that hard!

As far as I'm concerned, if he/she does not have that divorce decree, then I will not date them. Period
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 816
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 8:57:21 PM

Separated is SEPARATED. It's not divorced. If you are not free to marry, then you are not single. Look it up in the dictionary if you can't grasp the definition. It isn't that hard!

If your only goal is to marry, then better date only single people, but if what you want is someone that is really FREE, "divorced" may not be that different from "separated" because of all the remaining duties that often remain after divorce (children, custody issues, child or spouse support, etc.). On the other hand really SINGLE people (meaning never married) diminishes quickly with age.

So in one one way or another you will end up finding only "attached" people in your age range. There is no escape to it. (Not my case, fortunately, since I am divorced, without children, and without any remaining ties, but I am probably in the minority . . .)
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 818
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:27:39 PM
It's kinda BS when people say theydon't have the money to get divorced when they are separated. it really only costs about $50 to file yourselves if you both don't have any arguments. People stay "separated" to keep their options open.
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 819
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/12/2006 4:41:36 AM
ARe you all on f^%$n glue????? With the yahoos on this site you are questioning people who aren't legally divorced????? I am separated and getting married again is the FARTHEST on my mind especially after meeting the men ON THIS SITE so far and anyone who has never had a committed relationship has NO RIGHT to question my status, you should be glad that MOST of us are honest enough about it.....and YES I said MOST.....the REST are the ones you should be attacking!!!!

and for your information a PROPER Divorce can run you $600, with no fights, you must of gotten your $50 divorce at the same place you got married.....
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 820
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:13:58 AM
To Atomik, I meant if my boyfriend files for divorce he will lose half a million dollars, cuz here in Ontario Canada, the law says half of all assets go to the ex-wife. He's already lost his entire house to her, as a legallly separated guy. Now, he's fighting for his life savings, pension plan, life insureance, and the amount of alimony to give her. So the divorce is taking so long cuz of all the negotiations. His ex is determined to squeeze him of all of what he's got. So if he files, she ccan ask for the moon and the stars. If she files, he can negotiate down what he gives her.
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 821
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:24:41 PM
and when you go on and on and on about how all separated people are nothing but trouble.....its not because they are separated.....its because they are idiots.

I love people who blame circumstances on why relationships don't go right....."its because he/she was only separated"....Oh yah....the day the divorce happens they turn into faithful, loyal, WONDERFUL ready for a commitment, type of people.....SURE.

Unbeeeeelievable. If they are an idiot while being separated, they will be an idiot once divorced. Better come up with better reasons why your relationships fail.
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 822
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:33:46 PM
I was legally separated for 4 years before filing for divorce. To me "separated " kind of gives the impression that there may be some hope for reconciliation - kind of like a trial divorce.I would imagine that most would feel better about dating someone divorced as opposed to separated- it eliminates a lot of doubts..... I didn't feel right about starting dating until i was divorced-and wouldnt really expect to start a new relationship while still technically married.
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 823
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:40:06 PM
its maybe only $50 to START the process - but i can tell you firsthand - its close to $500 from start to finish-thats an uncontested divorce- you do the paperwork yourself /serve papers all that good stuff etc. contested, with a lawyer - a lot more than that..........
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 824
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:49:03 PM
^^ oh yes..a LOT more....
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 825
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:49:24 PM
No. Period. And if he says he can't get divorced because of money issues, then he has to decide what is more important to him, being with someone he loves or parting with his dollars.
 isle of beauty
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 826
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:53:38 PM
lol i agree with you a hundred percent ... especially when he doesn't support his kids .. a dead beat dad .. i tend to call them sperm donnors.......... why spend money to get some papers signed... have been seperated for year about 5 years and it's gotten to a point whre i say that i'm single.. cause there is no emotional or physical ties.. after all he's done he should pay for the paper work doing enough with the kids to have to spen more money .. so when i say i'm seperated it means legally devorced .... cause devorced is cut all ties from the heart .. the paper work is pure breaucrat.. governments way of paying for people on welfare

so the next person who says that they are seperated don't shut them out .. allow yourself to hear their story cause i share the same story and in my eyes i'm single
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 827
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:12:03 PM
I am legally separated, going through the hell of an embittered divorce right now. In my eyes,I would never, in a million years take back my ex. Not for reasons of starvation, or otherwise. So yes, I am single. I have my life, and it does not include him, other than the occasional court date, and the bucks I shell out to the lawyer.

On the other hand, I have a friend who is separated, and is still quite hung up on his soon-to-be-ex, and he, in my humble opinion, is not ready for another relationship, in any way shape or form.

It depends on the person, and where their head is at. Legally separated, in the eyes of the law, is the exact same thing as a divorce, with the exception that you are not free to remarry. Seeing as I would not marry the prince of Whales without a pre-nup, that is not of consequence to me. Is my heart available to love and accept love? Hell yeah!
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 828
Is separated single?
Posted: 7/15/2006 5:43:43 AM
No. Separated is not divorced. I recently went through this, against my better judgement I might add, and even tho we truly cared for one another and I can honestly say loved one another, it did not work out because of his divorce proceedings which were very complicated and included custody issues. There was too much that needed to be finished in his marriage before he could focus on a new relationship. It was a hard decision, but I had to walk away because I really felt that he needed to figure out what was best him and his children without the pressure of a new relationship. We stay in touch and will be friends forever because of the deep connection we had, I will never regret this experience, because he made me believe in love again but I would not get involved with someone who was only separated again.
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