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 Astrido
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 723
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Is separated single?Page 17 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Separated means you and your 'spouse' are living apart from each other, while you have a spouse you cannot be single ... thus you are still married if you are separated.

What it means to 'most' isn't really relevant, but then again 'most' don't seem to care about 'most' things anyway. 'Most' seem to make up their own rules along the way and then just complaining about the consequences of their poor choices.

Just my two cents.

Remember ... what goes around, comes around ...

PS: It's spelled separated ... not seperated
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 726
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/4/2006 1:09:42 AM
NO being separated is still being married in the eyes of the law. Nope.

I won't date a separated guy either, among many other things. I know. Picky picky picky. But guess who will be happier in the long run. You guessed. ME!
==========================

How long a run design???

Five years? Or twenty five years?

Whenever you choose to be picky always remember that although the man shortage is a myth the supply of men , willing to committ after the damage done to them by the last divorce , does diminish.

A lot of hetro Aussie women these days are turing to lesbian relationships because of it.
 TruGen
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 728
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:32:33 AM
Been there, done that. The short answer is no, separated is not single. Single is single, divorced is single, widowed is single, but any version of married is married. I dated a "separated" guy, and on our one year anniversary he had sex with his wife. He's been separated two years now, and that's plenty of time to get a divorce; I mean he's not Donald Trump. If they're still married, they're hanging on for some reason. And they won't be quick to tell YOU what that reason is.
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 729
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/7/2006 7:24:15 AM
No Trugen, I respect your opinion, but I've had different experiences. Widows who on the surface are ok but emotionally are a wreck. Single ladies who tell me they aren't seeing anyone else but are dating multiple guys simultaneously. Separatees who were unusually emotionally balanced. Divorced women who were extremely spiteful over their X.

Each situation and everyone is different, it's easy to make the short answer to try to simplify things in our minds, but life is much more complex than that.
 dream_girl1963
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 731
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/10/2006 9:52:46 AM
Well I fall in the seperated category here. I haven't seen my husband in almost 5 years. I can't get a divorce for monetary reasons, and I have a protection order that keeps him from killing me. So should I be deprived from dating? I have one last childe that lives with me that is 16 and is hardly home. So am I to go on living my life alone because I found out to late that my husband had a psychological problem? I think not, life goes on.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 732
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/10/2006 10:07:30 AM
I have to agree with that bike_man, every circumstance is different. The divorced women still extremely spiteful over their X, maybe should look at their part in it and move on. Widows, well, I can see still having emotional issues after losing someone you love, especially to unexpected death. I've met single women who yes, lie, or on the flip side who are single just because they are emotionally unstable to begin with and their relationships don't last. And I've known some people, both sides, who were well balanced and "emotionall divorced" if not legally on paper.

I think there's a matter of time, I could certainly see a man being seperated, and both of them dating and having that "emotional divorce", while keeping the legal marriage so the kids have his insurance from the job. If they are mature about it and emotionally over it, I'm not so sure thats a big negative (unless, as someone posted, you want to marry them, then its obviously an issue).

To me its more an issue of that "emotional seperation" rather than some legal boundry. Although I would still argue that no, seperated is not "single", in they eye's of the law anyways, and I've been in a relationship with someone seperated, who wasn't really over with things emotionally, so I would be very cautious of it again... but I think you can be seperated and "emotionally single", even if not "legally single".
 Ginger-ann
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 733
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/10/2006 12:03:34 PM
I am seperated now for nearly a year . Did not date during this time took a while to recompose myself and now feel ready to start dating . I just want to take a break from dealing with negativity for a while that is why have not gone through with divorce quite yet . Need some positive focus for awhile. Is it wrong to take a slow approach to the change in my life? Everyone has own speed for things, but I definately see no reconciliation in our future , and decided to evolve myself in the dating expirience. It definately says SEPERATED on my profile so no games here.
 Darkwolf46
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 734
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/10/2006 12:12:29 PM
I throw my vote in with the "depends on the situation" contingent, as I think it is possible to be separated and move forward while things get taken care of - although maybe it is a 50/50 proposition. Probably some people can't move on and are waiting for their spouse to return from Vegas with the stripper, but, can be done. We have to be careful about making generalizations about relationships, I guess. I agree with what SG64 said about being "emotionally separated".....I think that's the key.

You can't start a new chapter if you're still in the same old book. :)
 Forget Me Not
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 735
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/10/2006 7:06:01 PM
Sometimes there are legitimate financial reasons for staying separated. For example- While I'm still married on paper my ex is still covered by my company benefit plan.

That would be the reason no divorce has been filed here too. I need the health insurance, I have some ongoing health issues that need taken care of and won't have a plan upon divorce. He has moved on with the woman he left me for and I'm not stupid enough to want him back so the marriage is for all purposes over and done.

Since I have no intentions of getting remarried quickly (out of a 25yr long relationship) I don't really see the need to hardship myself in order to have the "right" to date.
 Darkwolf46
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 737
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 3:12:55 PM
Sorry, Wolf.......holy smoke! I hear that! But, you know, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes they jump back.........
 chicky63
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 739
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:34:22 PM
Ruckus i feel the same way. Some people even though they were devorced still marry the same one after time has gone by. Life does go on weather you are with that person or an other. Seperated legally or not if they are not living together trying to get on with their life you might as well make the best of it. That is how i feel. I have been seperated for over a year and he lives in anothere state then i do.
 Nemafish
Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 740
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 11:01:07 PM
Nope... separated isn't single. Divorced, widowed, never married - that's single. Anything other than that is some kind of married and wouldn't be something I'd consider. "My wife doesn't understand me" is one of the oldest lines in the book.
 placenamehere
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 741
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 11:04:19 PM
No I wouldn't. But then again I don't like or need any kind of drama in my life. I might invovle myself after only speaking to the other person in the marraige (b/c that is what it still is) and made sure they understood my intentions. That way it may not feel so wrong and you may still get some much need days of our lives type drama.
 Trying2FindU2
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 742
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:17:27 AM
Like many others have stated already in this thread, in my opinion, it really depends upon the situation whether or not to date someone who is separated. In my case, my wife had not one, but two affairs. I tried to work things out with her after the first affair she had with a mutual friend, and thought we were back on track. I even started to trust her again, and we were seeing a marriage counselor. Boy was I wrong. The only thing she changed was her tactics. With the second affair, she told no one, and found a guy at the gym we went to. She is so skillful at lying, that I think she even believes them herself sometimes. Needless to say, she is going to turn 40 this year and has issues wanting to party and feel young again. Both times she told me I had done nothing wrong, and that she just needed the excitement. Well... I'm not into sharing my partner with anyone else, and I have already pushed her out of my mind. The divorce should be finalized soon, and I am moving on. I will never take her back because how she treated me, when I was doing everything possible to make things work. I would hope that many women on this site could understand this situation, and give my profile a serious look. Instead of just moving on when they saw the word "separated". I would rather be truthful from the start than lie and put that I am already divorced. My two cents...
 justshrimpie
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 743
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:24:45 AM
I would never date a man that is just "separated" because he is still married. If he is seeing someone while still legally married it would be cheating and I don't want any part of it.
 rainskiss
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 744
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 12:21:04 PM
Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to afford divorce just like that. So yes If I was sure he was done with his ex and this wasn't just a cooling down period I would.
 Trying2FindU2
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 746
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 1:57:31 PM
Good for you, feylass... Stick them with the legal bill, they deserve it...
 missthang99
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 747
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Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 9:06:29 PM
if the other person is living with thier ex forget it u never know what happens behind closed doors and it is not worth the trouble and the head ache besides there are many men out there as well as women so find someone who is able to move on
 FitAznCdn
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 749
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:56:39 PM
Ask yourself these questions?

Do I want to be with someone who can't get his butt out of the house just to save expenses? Do I want to be with someone who is not financially stable? Do I want to share paying his bills, alimony and family maintenance? Do I want myself get tangled in this drama and issues? Am I this desperate knowing there's lotsa fish in the sea?

Think girl, think!!!
 Forget Me Not
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 751
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:54:28 AM
Oh and I just wanted to add that living in the same house is not single. My stbx lived in the garage for 3mths and I didn't consider that separated and ready to date even though stbx WAS dating but hey he started "dating" while we were still sleeping in the same bed .
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 752
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:36:27 PM

I've gotten to the first date with two women from here who have told me that they are no longer in my dating pool for a second date because they've gone back to old boyfriends.

Feeniks, STOP trying to be reasonable and logical! Don't you know all separatees are weak-minded, and all "single" folks are upstanding citizens?
 Trying2FindU2
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 753
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 3:18:41 PM
I hope you are being sarcastic, bike_man. I for one am currently separated, and I do not find that it is a weak-minded state. Because of the he11 my STBX put me through, there is NO way I would EVER go back to her. Besides, I am better off now than I was all through the marriage. Remember, it is great to be single, but not all singles are upstanding citizens. I have seen singles on this site who are NOT. Don't mean to slam on you in particular, but generalizing an entire group, come-on....
 vancityguy604
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 754
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:02:19 PM
The question isn't " Is separated single? " the question is " define separated? "

SEPARATED

a)To set or keep apart; disunite.
b) To space apart; scatter: small farms that were separated one from another by miles of open land.
c)To sort: separate mail by postal zones


My point is that you can classify yourself as being single if you are separated and not wanting to work things out with your " ex " ,however I wouldn't consider myself single if there was still a chance of working things out with my " ex "

SINGLE

a) Consisting of one part


Now ask yourself are you single...

Love and thoughts from,
Drew 3:16


lol :)
 ronscons
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 755
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Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:54:50 PM
Legally separated does not mean you are free- you cannot enter into a marriage, lots of places you cannot get new insurance, property rights are in doubt- why lots of places you cannot even get a vasectomy if you are separated- this separation thing is a limbo foolishness thing designed to only let lawyers get their blood- it should probably be altogether gotten rid of completely to be replaced with a six month cooling off period after filing -then a legislated divorce and final splitting of property etc. Separation is complete and utter nonsense!
 ronscons
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 756
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:03:27 PM
Puppy love123-I hope you didn't pay that lawyer- re; separation- just try and sell a house even entirely in your own name when separated- you can't
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