Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is "separated" single?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 denimandlace46
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 401
Is separated single?Page 17 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Very well said Bandito!
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 402
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/4/2006 9:18:20 AM
Thank you denimandlace46
 denimandlace46
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 403
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/4/2006 9:22:19 AM
You're very welcome and you can call me denim. Saves on the hunt and peck typers! LOL
 1HiddenGem
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 404
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/4/2006 9:25:15 AM
if there not legally devorced its no biggie but if they were still living with them then not a fukn chance...
 MT Heart
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 405
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/5/2006 3:38:15 AM
Well I dont understand the difference between separated and divorced.Once you have made that decision isnt it just pretty much over? If someone wants to stay with thier partner why then leave and do the legal thing..OK maybe you need a reprieve to think things over before you decide to leave.Well then take time think but in my book dating is not giving you the time you need to mull a very big decision over its just saying hey I am here look at me am I single or am I married?
Then you have the other side of the picture I am still married left my "X" over 5 years ago.Why you ask am I still married? One reason was we had a son that would soon be 18 (he is now 19)And neither of us wanted to start a big issue with all that child custody B.S. and I left the state.Why am I "stll" married if my son is of legal age you ask? Believe it is not about love or uncertainy it is about the money.I cannot afford it even doing it myself. Why am I here on POF well I really do not consder myself married after so long and unfortunantly there is no law as with common law that says if you are out of the house,state and life of the one you married for so many years you are divorced.
This has posed a problem with someone I met his religous views which is ok by me but if you really care about someone in my situation either wait or help.Dont throw it away because you think God will strike you down if you have feelings for someone who is by all laws married but in thier heart of hearts thinks its been way to long to even think of it in those terms.
 yourdelights
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 406
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/6/2006 6:45:31 AM
curious...why does your profile say divorced if you are seperated?
 Caramel4Vanilla
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 407
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/6/2006 8:02:04 PM
In answer to the original question posted....No, separated is not single and
no, I wouldn't want to involve myself with someone who is separated and not divorced or even someone newly divorced.
Having not been married yet, I darn well deserve a fair chance and dating someone who isn't legally free or who is acting like he just got out of jail is not a fair chance.
 sunshine2tan
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 408
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/6/2006 9:27:49 PM
Oh yes.....that is the fresh start want.......
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 409
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/6/2006 9:38:04 PM
I'm very cautious about those that are "Seperated"...everyone has their own terms for saying it, but each case is different or the same depending on how it came about. Not only that but the emotional level is still in the air if it was just fairly recent.
 gen76
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 410
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/7/2006 9:52:18 AM
I left my husband and spent one year just seperated with no legal action by either party before I really started another relationship. Then I spent the next 5yrs legally seperated before my divorce was final. Papers had been filed but without him agreeing to ANYTHING and always asking for continuances it took a long time. I guess everyone's situation is different. For me I would have spent 5 lonely years while the courts drug their feet. I am glad someone gave me a chance even though I was not legally divorced. If not I would not have had my youngest child. Not to mention I would have been very lonely.

However learning about the situation is important. You don't want to get involved with someone and end up hurt. I think I would have to take it slow and find out the circumstances between them and the ex. Get a better idea of how serious they BOTH are about permanently ending the relationship.
 Sorah2006
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 411
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/7/2006 10:05:11 AM
I won't date a man if he is still living in the same house as his spouse... regardless of whether or not they are separated.

If he is living on his own and separated, then I have no problems with it... even though he is technically still married in the eyes of the law.

When I was separated, I got my legal separation done within 3 days so I was legally separated before I started dating but for some people, it is more complicated.

My current b/f has been moved out of his marital home for almost a year but still fighting for legal separation. His next court date is Sept 2006-- which would be well over a year since he moved out. I don't think he should be expected not to date just because she is unwilling to cooperate. He has a lawyer who is fighting for him but it still takes time.
 lindarella
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 412
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/7/2006 6:52:16 PM
"Would you wish to involve yourself with someone not legally divorced? Whether they may be emotionally or physically apart or living in the "other" room or "basement" to spare the children or to save expenses.....Viewpoints welcome..........."

No, no, no, no, and no. Being separated IS still being married. You cannot be a little bit married, just as you cannot be a little bit pregnant.. tsk tsk.
I would not date a separated man.
 yourdelights
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 413
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 12:32:54 AM
I feel awful sorry for all the women/men on here that say they wouldn't date someone who is seperated.

Everyone has a different story. If it is a recent thing I can understand or if they live in the same house but if its been years apart etc, and you still pass them by.... you may be passing up your soul mate. But you'll never know, becasue you won't give them a time of day. Your loss!
 I Spy
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 414
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 12:36:40 AM
Separated people would like to think they are single. They think, therefore they are.
 aegean_odyssey
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 415
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 3:33:51 AM
I have emphaticaly stated before in this forum that Separated is not Single
in the eyes of the law in USA and elesewhere and also in the eyes of the Church
or ANY religous belief/faith

Havong gone through a long Separation/Divorce 20 years ago and Recently being Widowed
I have some unique perspective..

but I am not here to debate that again but to say this:

that in the time this forum has already been active,,
and during the overall time it likely will contiue
YOU ALL COULD HAVE BEEN DIVORCED.........legally
 wikkidd
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 416
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 4:53:07 AM
Separated can be interpretated in many ways...i have been "separated" for five years..if i wanted to rekindle any sort of relationship with my husband i would have done so already...to me "separated" means that exactly "separated"..and not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well...we are not on the same page...Just as people "living together" will argue that marriage is only a piece of paper...so is divorce...though i will not disclaim that that piece of paper holds a lot of weight legalwise...
When you are filling out the application on POF...you are only given so many choices...sometimes you fall right in the middle of answer A and answer B...so you do what you feel is right at the time and hope someone gives you the opportunity to explain it...
Well that's just my 2 cents...
 vanilla-kisses
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 417
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 5:40:24 AM
In my opinion seperated is not necessarily single. A person can be seperated but still emotionally attached. Single is when the papers are signed and you are free and clear.
 PrincessSE
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 418
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 6:37:36 AM
*****"Would you wish to involve yourself with someone not legally divorced? Whether they may be emotionally or physically apart or living in the "other" room or "basement" to spare the children or to save expenses.....Viewpoints welcome..........."

No, no, no, no, and no. Being separated IS still being married. You cannot be a little bit married, just as you cannot be a little bit pregnant.. tsk tsk.
I would not date a separated man.********

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I totally agree...I would NEVER ever date a separated man. Must be divorced as that is considered single. NEVER if they shared the same home still, for whatever their reasons were..




 Cougar In Training
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 419
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 7:19:56 AM
I agree with you. Someone is usually still hurting when there is a separation. People need time to heal or you would be the replacement. You need someone who wants to love you
 sara1
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 420
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 7:25:45 AM
It takes time to get divorced.And money.If they dont live together they are not together. Period.Its just a piece of paper.Like marriage is.What is the difference between being legaly married and living common law? Following that logic does that mean we should date guys that live common law but didnt sign anything?Ok, I am exagerating now...Anyway, answer is yes...separated means just that, separated..
 wikkidd
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 421
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 8:14:25 PM

NEVER if they shared the same home still, for whatever their reasons were..


I would think its better to consider yourself "separated", live under the same roof with the understanding that you are just sharing a house "for whatever the reasons are"..than to be running around behind your spouses back and cheating just because you're not happy in your marriage but circumstances will not allow for you to move forward right at that moment...
 BrownEyedGurl17
Joined: 1/24/2006
Msg: 422
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 8:23:25 PM
Like everything else in life I think it depends on the people involved... personally I have only been separated (physically) for 8mos, but emotionally its been quite a bit longer. People stay 2gether for MANY dif reasons... u have to find out a persons reasons for their situation b4 u judge them. Meeting someone who is legitimately single or divorced does NOT guarantee that that person is any more ready/able to commit than anyone who's "just" separated.
 lakelady51
Joined: 6/28/2005
Msg: 423
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 8:33:02 PM
No, separated is not single. My ex moved out of the house while I was @ work one day. He left me a voice mail stating he couldn't live with me because he was having some problems and wanted "his space" so that he could work those problems out with a therapist. He continued to come back home on a regular basis, but never spent the night. He constantly gave me the impression that he was working on himself and wanted us to get back together. Well, I checked his cell phone records (on-line...because he was such a creature of habit with his passwords). Was I ever surprised! He had been talking to a woman dozens of times a day for ages. So, I will never date a man who says he is separated. Until it is legal, there is no telling what his situation is nor what he is telling his wife.
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 424
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/8/2006 8:35:15 PM

that in the time this forum has already been active,,
and during the overall time it likely will contiue
YOU ALL COULD HAVE BEEN DIVORCED.........legally


Well, no I couldn't have, Baja. I could if I lived in Florida, I guess, but I can't for another six months because I live in Canada. (which certainly isn't a good enough reason to want to live in the USA, LOL) So if I was in Florida, I'd be ready to date but since I'm in Canada, I'm not.

On a different note: as I work on my taxes, I think: "The advantage to getting the divorce finalized is that I don't have to extract the ex's 'taxable income' numbers from her in order to do my taxes. Then I realized that, no, I'll have to get that number from her til the kids are 18 in order to calcualte what she has to fork over for child support. So even after divorce, the financial tie continues.
 wikkidd
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 425
Is separated single?
Posted: 4/9/2006 6:13:33 AM

Until it is legal, there is no telling what his situation is nor what he is telling his wife.

You are speaking from a wifes point of view..and a valid point...however most people do not go from being married to being divorced without being separated first...
If a woman is going to get involved with a separated man..then she is going to have to understand that that is exactly what he is "separated" not "divorced" which you are correct...means two different things. I assure you "divorced" men do not deceive and hurt women any less than "separated" men do...the title does not absolve them from that....
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is "separated" single?