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 sassyvgirl
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 676
Is separated single?Page 28 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)

I feel being seperated is recovery time....Remembering who you were and who want to be..

Theropy..........And you never know what can happen...


I agree with that....however, I do understand that there are sometimes extenuating circumstances that keep people legally married for longer than they would like...I just don't beleive that money should be one of them...just my .02
 zadsghost
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 677
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/20/2006 2:31:51 AM
For the las time. Separated means it's over. The fat lady (my ex) sang. With the exception of some usless piece of paper, it's done with. I'm happier now then I have been in a decade. I used to think that this would be a bad thing. Now I'm learning to take time for myself. Which is something that I had totally forgotten how to do. I'm not going back. The agreement has been written. What's going to change during the year that I HAVE TO wait before the divorce is finnal?
 carcar68
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 678
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/20/2006 12:59:55 PM
Good one Christina!!! I agree with you.
 red1
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 679
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/20/2006 3:03:46 PM
I dated? a guy for 2 years who was seperated , not willing to pay for the legals was what I got told but he also uses it as an excuse not to get serious about the women he dates or for them to think they ahve a future with him, he is dating someone else and wants to break up with them so is telling them he is out of a job and his ex is taking his house off him. Funny as it may seem I do wish she would and divorce him as well, then he would not be able to use her as an excuse to stay emotionally single.
 edm_liz
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 680
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:01:33 PM
my divorce cost me $175 dollars, and an afternoon of paperwork. If they don't bother getting a divorce, there is a reason they are hanging on to that person....and it's creepy.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 681
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:05:59 PM
"What's going to change during the year that I HAVE TO wait before the divorce is finnal?"

A year from now, you can look back and see for yourself what has changed. You will probably be surprised.
 zadsghost
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 682
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 12:14:32 AM
^^^^We seperated two years ago now (verbally). Legally, because we only sold our house a few months ago. We can not actually divorce untill Jan 2007. We are as done as done can be. It's the law that's in our way now. Everything has been divided. Joint costody of the children has been settled. IT'S NOTHING BUT PAPER!!!

You also have to keep in mind, that laws change for one province to another. (and for you Americans here, I'm sure that they change from one state to the next.)

I'm just geting a little tired of the ones that think that you can just go out and get divorced tomorrow, and it's all done with. The law is horribly slow.

 KrissiNJ72
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 683
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 12:40:44 AM
I'm technically considered "seperated"...I haven't slept with my kids' dad in over 5 years or had any other relationship with him other than for the sake of our children..I have very young children and don't think a divorce/ custody battle is what they need right now...We all do what we feel is best in our lives but that doesn't mean we don't deserve the right to move on..so long as you are honest.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 684
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:33:36 AM
How can separated be single when almost every sentence separated people write contains the word "We". When we become I, then you are getting a lot closer to being healed and ready to move on.
 mai_ling
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 685
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:18:30 AM
separated=separated
divorced=divorced
single=single
widowed=widowed

separated doesn't not mean single and does not mean divorced.
 nicodomeus
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 686
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:41:56 AM
Coming from a marriage broken because of this same question, I am somewhat biased on the subject. If you are seperated, and are sleeping with someone new, IT IS STILL CHEATING!!!!

It still hurts your spouse when they walk in on it, it's not fair to them. Bottom line, if your seperated, and you want to start a relationship with someone new, at least give your spouse a heads up first, and go through the divorce.

It's sad, really.....it's not just the married couple that get hurt, we're grown up and can take care of ourselves. It's the children that now have to deal with the decisions that were made, and they depend on their parents to look out for them...

Sorry, sometimes different situations are okay, like when the other person dissapears, I can't imagine the pain that would cause, but a cheater is a cheater, no matter what. Being seperated is just an excuse some people make.
 nicodomeus
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 687
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:48:05 AM
on a side note, once the steps are taken to end the marriage, and both parties agree that it's actually over and time to move on, it's okay to start looking. It's been over a year now for me, and I'm only just now starting to come out of my shell. No, i'm not divorced yet, but will be by the end of the summer. what a loaded question....
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 688
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:36:39 AM
^^^^^ Wow. That was a sharp U-turn. So you thought a "trial separation " was going to bring you closer together and he saw it as the beginning of the end. I did the "trial " part three years ago and should never have backed away from the process at that time.

@Edm liz
my divorce cost me $175 dollars

As devilwoman stated, your budget divorce is only good if you both agree on all terms. Furthermore, I would have my doubts as to how legally binding it is without having advice from a lawyer (and a voucher saying you have) so there's no danger that one party can claim to have been tricked, or signed under duress.
 dee-licious trouble
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 689
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 10:22:13 AM

Coming from a marriage broken because of this same question, I am somewhat biased on the subject. If you are seperated, and are sleeping with someone new, IT IS STILL CHEATING!!!!

It still hurts your spouse when they walk in on it, it's not fair to them. Bottom line, if your seperated, and you want to start a relationship with someone new, at least give your spouse a heads up first, and go through the divorce.


from this i can only assume that you would still be living with your spouse?...
A) legally, if you are separated, it is NOT cheating, or does not constitute adultery, or else a divorce would be a hell of a lot easier, as with adultery and/or cruetly, you need not wait the year to get a divorce.
B) if you are still living with your spouse, then you are not REALLY separated. and i agree that it would hurt.

However, as a separated woman, as i've stated many times before, i believe that because of my own personal circumstances, as with EVERYBODY else's personal circumstances, it makes each situation individual. if you are living with your spouse still, you obviously still love them enough to tolerate them. personally, i couldn't do it, which is why i asked him to leave. my marriage ended because of infidelities (not on my part) as well, but my now ex and i have agreed that we're done, and that we are free to move on with our lives.


i don't know why i keep coming back to this thread, as the ignorance and narrowmindedness of some people just...AARRGGGGHHH...
 zadsghost
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 690
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:44:56 PM
How can separated be single when almost every sentence separated people write contains the word "We". When we become I, then you are getting a lot closer to being healed and ready to move on.


Look... when you have children, you still have to raise them as some form of a team. Therefore, divorce or not, there is still a "we". GET IT! I will still be using the word "we" a year from now when the divorce is complete. Mature people can do things like that.

But there was another good point made just a few posts back.
On this site, only single is truely single.
You could not truthfully use the term single if you were seperated, DIVORCED, widowed ect.

I can not emphasize enough, that seperated IS NOT the same as married.

(Sorry... I hate it when people try to tell me how I think.)

ps
Hey... since we're nit picking over simantics;
Only a plural can seperate (as in "we"). "I" can not seperate.
 Wildcrazyfan
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 691
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/23/2006 1:56:54 PM
dear auntie,,,,im separated over a yr my hubby left for a crack ho...been 14 mnths now...im on ssi..i cant afford one neither can he,,,we dont talk or see one another..im moving on ..im a strong lady,,have health problems,,,but im not waiting forever....i want to find a loving n careing man...i want to be loved for who i am...not what he wants me to be....i find myself saying im free so to speak...yes i could find a lawyer who may help me...but he wanted to cheat not me...he can pay for it...or.....i will if it comes down to it...i tell all about this and im honest and open...when the time comes down to a man wanting me for a ltr or marriage i will push it on then....but plz understand this...i want to be loved again ...so this is a hard answer i know...im single and im moving on...a piece of paper does not say i still love him..i dont...i made a mistake he was 16 yrs younger then me and i was blinded....what does that make me...not a hoe for sure...now what?.....lol
 carolinanurse
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 692
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/23/2006 3:21:15 PM
There are reasons for not getting a divorce. My ex was militay retired. and I want to keep the benifits. I have no plans to remarry.. and if I develope a serious relationship and change my mind, I will get a divorce. Ex does not need or want a divorce.. and we have lived apart 11 months with no problems. There was no support or alimony since we both had good incomes in the state of North Carolina.. we neither pay..I have been honest with any prospects that I have met.
carolinanurse
 mofo8578
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 693
Why not bring up a regular 'bloke'?
Posted: 5/24/2006 7:05:30 PM
So what if Sir Paul didn't sign a pre-nup? In my eyes he's still obligated for child support, but other than that, screw it. The simple (yes, simple) fact of being married shouldn't give all rights away to what you've accumulated over the years outside of that. Far too many woman (I know I'm gonna regret saying this, lol) beleive they deserve half of their husbands assets, even though they (the woman) had nothing to do with accumulating those assets. I'm all for splitting an empire built together, but I'll be damned if I'm responsible for a womans lifestyle after she decides to leave. If she wanted to maintain that lifestyle, stay with who you had it with.

*disclaimer*: I do not think of all women this way, only those who are guilty of it.
 mofo8578
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 694
Don't blame your "money grabbing" lawyer.......
Posted: 5/24/2006 7:07:51 PM
you picked him/her.
 mofo8578
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 695
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/24/2006 7:11:52 PM
"What ever happened to separation meaning that the couple is just not living together but still working on trying to fix the relationship?"


Whatever happened to two people calling it quits, and not have the gov't or morality police step in?
 hondaboy1972
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 696
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/25/2006 6:56:58 PM
hello there. being seperated is tough. everyone has there opinions on here and they are all good. mine is every person is different. i give everyone the benifit of the doubt. thats me. i am a very honest guy. yes seperated should be single for me. she left me, and now i am moving on. trying to find someone. now it's up to the next lady to trust and believe me that what i say is the truth cause i have no reason to lie to her. I wonder if there is a person out there for everyone how would you know that, maybe that person could be seperated and they just brushed them off cause of that word seperated. this was my first time doing this and if you write back , how do i get it. i am not to smart with these blogs so i need help lol
take care bye
 1sttime
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 697
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:01:01 PM
ok so he has a girlfreind..with three kids that arent his...has been with her for over a year...lives with her and them...when do i and my kids "live"...she is still married to her husband wont give him an annullment(even though she was a principal at a catholic school)..husband will only sign off on papers if he doesnt have to pay me to "take care of the kids (all of which are his)and to add insult to injury takes her and her kids on vacation (-he paid for rather we paid for.),hasnt taken our kids (i have)on any vaca in two years (although he has gone on golf vacations etc..with "buddies"
I think you whould look at the person..i cant help it if my husband is a self centered jerk..whos only issue is getting "out of it"(twenty years three kids etc)until I sign off that he can basically go play "stud muffin"..I wonder if he realizes that burt muffins usually get tossed...

His loss, as many have said...

Brains looks and a great rack....

Id say its time to play...batters up
 sunshine2tan
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 698
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/26/2006 7:43:48 PM
hey girl....I have tried to compose a reply to you 3 times and each time I press delete....I was married for 23 years as well....you sound like a great person....one of the things that my Dad always said....."Happiness is the best revenge"....to stick to topic.....I might get shot or called a hypocrite but you go girl....batter up....your kids deserve you to be happy!
 mythic_morpheus
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 699
Is separated single?
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:09:46 AM
I just wanna say that too many people base their opinions of others on experiences with other people....not everyone is the same that's what makes us all unique.
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 700
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Is separated single?
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:38:05 AM
NOPE seperate isn't fully single......

-Divorced.... has finality..........
-Seperated.. has some major baggage... ups and downs...... to get to the finality....

I've gone out with 2 guys that let me know they were seperated...
The 1st we were dating very seriously
The 2nd I stated I would ONLY be friends...... I learned from my 1st! LOL

I recently went out with someone that said they were divorced... but there really weren't..... still had drama from finishing up the divorce.....

So NO I won't date someone that is seperated..............
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