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Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 751
Is separated single?Page 31 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Sorry, Wolf.......holy smoke! I hear that! But, you know, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes they jump back.........
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 752
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 3:20:10 PM

Separated is married ... legally, morally and in every other sense of the word. There's a reason stuff is left undone and it's usually not the kids.

If you're 'separated' friend is in the hospital you can't make any decisions for them, their spouse can and they can even refuse you visitation. If they die you get nothing, their spouse gets it all

Absolutely untrue, at least in Canada. The ONLY difference between seperated and divorced is the ability to remarry. That is it....asked my lawyer. If you are legally seperated with a signed legal document your ex has absolutely no rights to anything whatsoever.
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 753
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:34:22 PM
Ruckus i feel the same way. Some people even though they were devorced still marry the same one after time has gone by. Life does go on weather you are with that person or an other. Seperated legally or not if they are not living together trying to get on with their life you might as well make the best of it. That is how i feel. I have been seperated for over a year and he lives in anothere state then i do.
Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 754
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 11:01:07 PM
Nope... separated isn't single. Divorced, widowed, never married - that's single. Anything other than that is some kind of married and wouldn't be something I'd consider. "My wife doesn't understand me" is one of the oldest lines in the book.
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 755
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/11/2006 11:04:19 PM
No I wouldn't. But then again I don't like or need any kind of drama in my life. I might invovle myself after only speaking to the other person in the marraige (b/c that is what it still is) and made sure they understood my intentions. That way it may not feel so wrong and you may still get some much need days of our lives type drama.
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 756
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 12:59:01 AM
erm I don't think I'd even consider dating a guy that lives in the same house as his ex, wife or not. Divorce can sometimes be dragged out because of the other person refusing to sign documents etc. I assume others just don't bother cos they're just happy to be away from the other person. I would prefer not to see a guy who has been married. I think u are either single or attached I would naturally assume some1 who said seperated was suggesting this on a temp level xjx
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 757
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:17:27 AM
Like many others have stated already in this thread, in my opinion, it really depends upon the situation whether or not to date someone who is separated. In my case, my wife had not one, but two affairs. I tried to work things out with her after the first affair she had with a mutual friend, and thought we were back on track. I even started to trust her again, and we were seeing a marriage counselor. Boy was I wrong. The only thing she changed was her tactics. With the second affair, she told no one, and found a guy at the gym we went to. She is so skillful at lying, that I think she even believes them herself sometimes. Needless to say, she is going to turn 40 this year and has issues wanting to party and feel young again. Both times she told me I had done nothing wrong, and that she just needed the excitement. Well... I'm not into sharing my partner with anyone else, and I have already pushed her out of my mind. The divorce should be finalized soon, and I am moving on. I will never take her back because how she treated me, when I was doing everything possible to make things work. I would hope that many women on this site could understand this situation, and give my profile a serious look. Instead of just moving on when they saw the word "separated". I would rather be truthful from the start than lie and put that I am already divorced. My two cents...
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 758
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:24:45 AM
I would never date a man that is just "separated" because he is still married. If he is seeing someone while still legally married it would be cheating and I don't want any part of it.
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 759
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 12:21:04 PM
Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to afford divorce just like that. So yes If I was sure he was done with his ex and this wasn't just a cooling down period I would.
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 760
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 12:51:04 PM
Being from Ontario, I have a legal binding agreement that says I have no rights in the ex's life and he has none in mine. I am waiting for his girlfriend to buy him his divorce (just another legal document) and they can get married. Saves me money and time.
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 761
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 1:57:31 PM
Good for you, feylass... Stick them with the legal bill, they deserve it...
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 762
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 9:06:29 PM
if the other person is living with thier ex forget it u never know what happens behind closed doors and it is not worth the trouble and the head ache besides there are many men out there as well as women so find someone who is able to move on
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 763
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 9:59:53 PM
This is such a judgement call. You either have to trust the person who is telling you they will not go back to their ex, and take that risk, or walk away from it and ask yourself if it is the right thing to do. I'm so bad at this one. I want to give the other person the benefit of the doubt when they say "I will not be going back". I've been burned once though by this, so I'm more leery, which perhaps makes me seem aloof at times.

So on paper, separated isn't single, but 9 times out of 10, I'll follow my heart and my gut on whether or not I get involved with that person. I'd rather risk it than ask what if.
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 764
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:56:39 PM
Ask yourself these questions?

Do I want to be with someone who can't get his butt out of the house just to save expenses? Do I want to be with someone who is not financially stable? Do I want to share paying his bills, alimony and family maintenance? Do I want myself get tangled in this drama and issues? Am I this desperate knowing there's lotsa fish in the sea?

Think girl, think!!!
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 765
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:58:25 AM

You either have to trust the person who is telling you they will not go back to their ex, and take that risk, or walk away from it and ask yourself if it is the right thing to do.

I've gotten to the first date with two women from here who have told me that they are no longer in my dating pool for a second date because they've gone back to old boyfriends. Now, granted, they could just be saying that so as not to hurt my feelings but I like to think that I'm selecting women with sufficient integrity that they would just say, "Sorry, no spark. " (God knows, I've heard that enough recently, too. LOL)

So where, then, is the risk of turn-around different? A woman, classed as 'single', who maybe just recently dumped a boyfriend that she'd been with for three or four years? Is she any more likely to return to him than a woman who has ended a marriage and is tied up in the legal timeframes of that process? From my perspective, the one who has taken the effort to initiate legal paperwork to end a relationship is cutting the ties more firmly than someone who tells his or her lover, "I don't want to be your boyfriend/girlfriend anymore." Click the heels of your ruby red shoes together and BINGO there you are? Nah. I like to see paperwork going in and paperwork going out. And in my jurisdiction, legal separation papers are sufficient paperwork to satisfy me. Once the lawyers have gotten their pound of flesh, that pretty well seals the deal, IMHO.
 Forget Me Not
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 766
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:54:28 AM
Oh and I just wanted to add that living in the same house is not single. My stbx lived in the garage for 3mths and I didn't consider that separated and ready to date even though stbx WAS dating but hey he started "dating" while we were still sleeping in the same bed .
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 767
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:36:27 PM

I've gotten to the first date with two women from here who have told me that they are no longer in my dating pool for a second date because they've gone back to old boyfriends.

Feeniks, STOP trying to be reasonable and logical! Don't you know all separatees are weak-minded, and all "single" folks are upstanding citizens?
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 768
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 3:18:41 PM
I hope you are being sarcastic, bike_man. I for one am currently separated, and I do not find that it is a weak-minded state. Because of the he11 my STBX put me through, there is NO way I would EVER go back to her. Besides, I am better off now than I was all through the marriage. Remember, it is great to be single, but not all singles are upstanding citizens. I have seen singles on this site who are NOT. Don't mean to slam on you in particular, but generalizing an entire group, come-on....
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 769
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:02:19 PM
The question isn't " Is separated single? " the question is " define separated? "


a)To set or keep apart; disunite.
b) To space apart; scatter: small farms that were separated one from another by miles of open land.
c)To sort: separate mail by postal zones

My point is that you can classify yourself as being single if you are separated and not wanting to work things out with your " ex " ,however I wouldn't consider myself single if there was still a chance of working things out with my " ex "


a) Consisting of one part

Now ask yourself are you single...

Love and thoughts from,
Drew 3:16

lol :)
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 770
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:54:50 PM
Legally separated does not mean you are free- you cannot enter into a marriage, lots of places you cannot get new insurance, property rights are in doubt- why lots of places you cannot even get a vasectomy if you are separated- this separation thing is a limbo foolishness thing designed to only let lawyers get their blood- it should probably be altogether gotten rid of completely to be replaced with a six month cooling off period after filing -then a legislated divorce and final splitting of property etc. Separation is complete and utter nonsense!
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 771
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:03:27 PM
Puppy love123-I hope you didn't pay that lawyer- re; separation- just try and sell a house even entirely in your own name when separated- you can't
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 772
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:49:32 PM
No. But seperated is.
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 773
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:06:20 PM
ronscons ,I think you need to check out the law before you can speak of it. You are right on 2 counts, 1 when seperated you may not remarry until divorced, 2 you need you ex to sign on the dotted line to sell your home, but thats it. So if someone is not wanting to remarry what is the trouble. I actually dont understand why so many people on here are so narrow minded about alot of stuff and this is no differnt. When 2 people end a relationship married or living together , it is over unless your heart says differnt. So seperated is single if your heart has finished with it. Oh and by the way there is no real seperation agreement anymore hasnt been for years in canada, the date you are seperated is the date you put on your tax form , thats it thats all.
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 774
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/15/2006 6:39:34 PM
OK so Seperated is still leagly married;So What If both have gone their seperate ways and he/she is dateting;I see nothing wrong with Him/Her(You) dateing.Just because nither one of you have went to the expence to hire an attorney.No Big Deal--UNLESS--You and Your Current SO Deside to marry then a Divorce Is A Must.The person /persons who want date a seperated man/woman just isn't with it and not living in the 21st century in my opinion and that is only my opinion and YES Everyone has an opinion and if they disagree with mine that is ok that is their right and I respect them for exercising that right.I'm not Slaming/Slandering or putting anyone down they have a right to their opinion.So They Don't agree with me --So What-- no big Deal.
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 775
view profile
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:01:09 PM
I Think your post is the most senable thing I've read so far here.I think you are probably doing the right thing.Although I'm Sure that there are some out there that would Disagree and say you still have a thing with your wife.After reading your post I doubt that you do.In my Opinion it is very noble and responcable thing you are doing.I say go for it Take care of the kids see the x has a good job to help support them.Stick with it Friend no matter what anyone else thinks or says.You are Quite A Man and have my Respect and Admiration
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is "separated" single?