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 Forget Me Not
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 751
Is separated single?Page 31 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Oh and I just wanted to add that living in the same house is not single. My stbx lived in the garage for 3mths and I didn't consider that separated and ready to date even though stbx WAS dating but hey he started "dating" while we were still sleeping in the same bed .
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 752
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:36:27 PM

I've gotten to the first date with two women from here who have told me that they are no longer in my dating pool for a second date because they've gone back to old boyfriends.

Feeniks, STOP trying to be reasonable and logical! Don't you know all separatees are weak-minded, and all "single" folks are upstanding citizens?
 Trying2FindU2
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 753
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/13/2006 3:18:41 PM
I hope you are being sarcastic, bike_man. I for one am currently separated, and I do not find that it is a weak-minded state. Because of the he11 my STBX put me through, there is NO way I would EVER go back to her. Besides, I am better off now than I was all through the marriage. Remember, it is great to be single, but not all singles are upstanding citizens. I have seen singles on this site who are NOT. Don't mean to slam on you in particular, but generalizing an entire group, come-on....
 vancityguy604
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 754
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:02:19 PM
The question isn't " Is separated single? " the question is " define separated? "

SEPARATED

a)To set or keep apart; disunite.
b) To space apart; scatter: small farms that were separated one from another by miles of open land.
c)To sort: separate mail by postal zones


My point is that you can classify yourself as being single if you are separated and not wanting to work things out with your " ex " ,however I wouldn't consider myself single if there was still a chance of working things out with my " ex "

SINGLE

a) Consisting of one part


Now ask yourself are you single...

Love and thoughts from,
Drew 3:16


lol :)
 ronscons
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 755
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:54:50 PM
Legally separated does not mean you are free- you cannot enter into a marriage, lots of places you cannot get new insurance, property rights are in doubt- why lots of places you cannot even get a vasectomy if you are separated- this separation thing is a limbo foolishness thing designed to only let lawyers get their blood- it should probably be altogether gotten rid of completely to be replaced with a six month cooling off period after filing -then a legislated divorce and final splitting of property etc. Separation is complete and utter nonsense!
 ronscons
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 756
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:03:27 PM
Puppy love123-I hope you didn't pay that lawyer- re; separation- just try and sell a house even entirely in your own name when separated- you can't
 Pi
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 757
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:49:32 PM
No. But seperated is.
 goddess23
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 758
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:06:20 PM
ronscons ,I think you need to check out the law before you can speak of it. You are right on 2 counts, 1 when seperated you may not remarry until divorced, 2 you need you ex to sign on the dotted line to sell your home, but thats it. So if someone is not wanting to remarry what is the trouble. I actually dont understand why so many people on here are so narrow minded about alot of stuff and this is no differnt. When 2 people end a relationship married or living together , it is over unless your heart says differnt. So seperated is single if your heart has finished with it. Oh and by the way there is no real seperation agreement anymore hasnt been for years in canada, the date you are seperated is the date you put on your tax form , thats it thats all.
 Bearmun
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 759
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/15/2006 6:39:34 PM
OK so Seperated is still leagly married;So What If both have gone their seperate ways and he/she is dateting;I see nothing wrong with Him/Her(You) dateing.Just because nither one of you have went to the expence to hire an attorney.No Big Deal--UNLESS--You and Your Current SO Deside to marry then a Divorce Is A Must.The person /persons who want date a seperated man/woman just isn't with it and not living in the 21st century in my opinion and that is only my opinion and YES Everyone has an opinion and if they disagree with mine that is ok that is their right and I respect them for exercising that right.I'm not Slaming/Slandering or putting anyone down they have a right to their opinion.So They Don't agree with me --So What-- no big Deal.
 Bearmun
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 760
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:01:09 PM
I Think your post is the most senable thing I've read so far here.I think you are probably doing the right thing.Although I'm Sure that there are some out there that would Disagree and say you still have a thing with your wife.After reading your post I doubt that you do.In my Opinion it is very noble and responcable thing you are doing.I say go for it Take care of the kids see the x has a good job to help support them.Stick with it Friend no matter what anyone else thinks or says.You are Quite A Man and have my Respect and Admiration
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 761
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:41:51 AM
Where the hell are you people getting your legal advice from?

just try and sell a house even entirely in your own name when separated- you can't

and

there is no real seperation agreement anymore hasnt been for years in canada,


Either one, or both, of you may be right but I doubt it. My ex owns a house that neither the bank nor I have ever laid eyes on. I'm fairly sure that if she decides to sell it, she will be able to without my signature. I'm almost as sure that the money I just paid a lawyer to have my ex's name removed from the mortgage and title on my house was so I could sell it when I wanted to, otherwise what was the point of that bill? And between the two of us, my ex and I , we spent about 5 grand on lawyers and a mediator who produced a 15 document entitled "Mediated Separation Agreement" which lays out division of assets, child custody and support, and all the rest. And it rolls over into a divorce agreement when the time is up. So my paperwork is done. Done like dinner! It may be different in your juridiction.
 Lovingmom1981
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 762
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:54:29 AM
Well I think it depends on the people. I was not divorced yet but dating a guy and he helped me with my divorce. But my ex had been gone for months before I started dating. So I would say its single it depend on how you view it!!!!! But I also was in the prosses of getting my divorce.
 DriverKen51
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 763
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Is separated single?
Posted: 6/16/2006 3:43:31 AM
Seperated is NOT single. There are a lot of emotional changes one has to go through AFTER the divorce is final. I go by the one year rule, NO dating the first year after the day the judge signs the papers.
 Cupids_Desperado
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 764
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/17/2006 7:09:42 PM
Well Try this: Im Seperated, I Classify myself as Single for 5 years now. I will never be with her again and I would have my Divorce tomorrow if not for one thing.

I Have a Court's Blessing.

I have a child living with me I call my Son ( He is not Biological but has been with me since he was 1 Im the Only Dad Devon has ever known ) Devon is 12 - If I divorce before Devon is 13, My Ex-wife Loosing Custody of Devon to me being his Dad Through Marriage.

I Loose Devon Back to My Exwife - Ex... A Drunken, Abusive Father he has not seen since 1 Ive remained Married to her for 10 years. The kids ( Daughter 9 and Boy 12 ) rarely Visit her and I fear for Devon's Life if had to return to him.

So what should I classify myself as ( Just unlucky ? )

No I dont... ( Seperated - Divorce Pending a Date of a 13 year old - SINGLE to be... )
 a bit nomadic
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 765
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/17/2006 10:51:24 PM
I haven't read all 32 pages of this thread, but thought I'd put in my two cents anyway.
Isn't it really about the person you are considering dating? I was "separated" for just over a year before my divorce was final, and dating during that period helped me emotionally during that period, but I certainly wasn't ready for a serious relationship, so it was good for me but probably not good for anyone who might have wanted to form something serious with me. But other people are probably in a much different place emotionally from that: everyone is different just as every marriage/divorce is different. The danger is always there that they will go back to their spouse, but that could happen whether the divorce is final or not (and there is no guarantee that they might not meet someone else anyway, just as in any relationship--they are all risks). However, I think that the one great barrier for me in dating a separated guy would be if he was living in the same house with his wife--that, for me, would be a deal-breaker, whatever the financial situation, etc. Whether I trusted him or not I couldn't handle it (and I'm not particularly inclined to jealousy), and it is hard for me to imagine how anyone could. Wouldn't it have to be an issue, somehow, in a negative way?

 azsunshine72
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 766
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/17/2006 10:58:05 PM
That's such a hard question. I knew someone who is separated for over 5 years. My question is then why not get divorced?

But the bottom line is NO!!
 sassypeach67
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 767
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:01:42 PM
go online to mydivorce dot com i believe it is....file the paperwork yourself!!
 Nature23
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 768
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:02:55 PM
I'm in somewhat the same place. I was emotionally separated from my husband. But some how thought that the love that we had would magically repersent it's self. Well you can see just how far that got me. I'm 23 years old and going though the same thing my mother went through with my dad. Oh God, for me to be so young and go though all this for this man. Well, all that I can say is pray for me cause I'm going to need all the help that I can get.
Now it's not hard to sleep but it's hard to be not just lonely but now alone.
 goldenphoenix
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 769
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:27:12 AM
It depends on your comfort level. I personally feel that a person hasn't moved on, be it physically or emotionally, unless they are divorced. Moving on for another person is also not right. You divorce because you want to, not because someone else wants you to. I would like to be with someone who is free!
 goddess23
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 770
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/21/2006 10:49:57 AM
Feeniks you are right and can have a lawyer draw up papers and do all the legal work as i have also done, but you dont have to, to be seperated by law here in canada. It is by the date you say on your income tax and that is legal. Now i cant say for sure about this home your wife owns but i do know what my lawyer told me that i can not sell my new home without his signing.
 Simplifying my life
Joined: 9/16/2005
Msg: 771
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:57:33 PM
I'm new to this forum, and no I haven't read all of the previous 32 pages of posting....but I'm willing to put in my 2 cents.

In my eyes, separated is not single but, dependent upon the circumstances, it does give you the right to date and/or go into a new relationship. I certainly couldn't see dating someone who was separated but still living in the same home as their 'ex'. Even if they are only living together because of financial reasons, there are too many issues arising daily when you share the same residence.

Case in point; I have been separated for 3.5 years. We do not have a legal separation document signed yet (not but for trying...I'm just determined our younger child should receive the same benefits our older one did when we were living together). My ex, and although we are not divorced...yes, he is my ex, has been living with another woman for 3.5 years. I have dated, and even had a one year relationship and feel completely comfortable in doing that.

Our marriage is over, it's just the legal and paper work that need to be completed. I will change my profile to divorced, when that stage is complete. And I would even venture to say that 5 years after the divorce, I would have no problem marking myself as single in any forum where specific legal definitions are not required.

So, there are my 2 cents...although they are Canadian so I guess that's what 1.5 cents?
 laceylilkitty
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 772
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/21/2006 4:17:15 PM
WELL I THINK IT ALL DEPENDS ON ALOT OF THINGS ..NO OFFENSE TO ANY MEN OUT THERE....BUT I WOULD BE REALLY CAREFULL DATING A MAN WHO IS SEPERATED OR AT LEAST VERY CAREFULL ABOUT INVESTING YOURSELF IN THEM UNTIL YOU KNOW ALL THE FACTS.....AS SOMEONE WHO IS SEPERATED RIGHT NOW FOR THE LAST YEAR ...MY X HOWEVER WAS SEPERATED FOR YEARS ACCORDING TO ALL THE WOMEN HE WAS SCREWING AROUND WITH USING EXCUSES ...EVERTHING FROM HIS WIFE IS SICK RIGHT NOW AND ITS JUST HIM HELPING OUT WITH THE KIDS TO THE OLD I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE HOUSE SELLS THING....AND IVE DATED SOME THAT HAVE SAID THE SAME THING TO ME BUT ARE STILL WITH THIER WOMEN .....WHAT IS SINGLE ANYMORE ANYWAY .....LETS FACE IT THE DATING SCENE IS A TRICKY THING AT THE BEST OF TIMES.....
 Beckeroo
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 773
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/21/2006 4:56:30 PM
I think separated can mean a lot of different things sunshine2tan... For me, it just means my relationship is being tested, for someone else it could mean the relationship is actually over or on the verge of it, or they are trying to work it out over time.

I personally, don't think I would involve myself in that situation... I would wait until the person became single... Definitly less stressful.
 Feeniks
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 774
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:54:50 AM
^^^ no offense intended, Beckeroo, but separated doesn't mean temporarily not seeing your boyfriend. No. I wouldn't get involved in that either. Separated, in my area at least, means having legally divided assets and financial responsibilities and child custody and is a very significant step towards getting out of a dis-functional marriage. I don't know anyone who has gotten as far as formalizing the process who has backed out. I don't know why the law here bothers to set such limits. I would expect that anyone at that stage has had at least one unofficial split before getting to that stage. Wish I lived in Florida.

And in other news, the Supreme Court of Canada has today confirmed "no fault" divorce. So 'infidelity cases' 9message 790) can't really be said to exist in Canada. (Not that that is any concern of mine, for the record. LOL)
 ronscons
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 775
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 6/23/2006 4:21:55 AM
Goddess23- go ahead and talk about affairs of the heart- very laudible and gracious but it cost me over $60000.00 in legal and court costs, 13 lawyers in two provinces in 3 levels of courts, at least seven lien notes of various kinds, 3 separate bank account seizures during a so called "seven year legal" separation, my son[12 yrs old at the time] and me spending a night in jail[1988] - yes I am somewhat bitter and yes it damn near broke me and yes I probably have baggage over it but that being said its finally over [actually has been for 10 years now]- it is damn hard to think of affairs of the heart when your power was cut off for non-payment because of a bank account seizure- What I am saying is MAKE SURE ALL YOUR AFFAIRS ARE IN ORDER- cause when you least expect it, screwups will occur and judges and lawyers make LOTS of mistakes and it is usually the client who pays- I say no more! The record speaks for itself.
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