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 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 233
Is separated single?Page 5 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
^^^denimandlace46, that just proves you are a goddess worthy of any man's affection
 LossMyMarbles
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 236
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:38:47 PM
Yes, if you are living a separate life from that of your spouse.

It really is such a touch and go situation. Everyone's situation is different. I'm sorry for those who were lied to or hurt by people who weren't really separated or emotionally unconnected to their spouse enough to be dating.

Honesty is so important if you are dating some one who is separated or you yourself are separated. You really have to get to the bottom of things before you get involved. Tons of questions to be asked and answered.

Don't judge some one who is separated and dating or dating some one who is.........some day you may find yourself in the same sticky mud puddle and you'll see how being REALLY separated is no different from being single. It sucks.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 237
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/27/2006 8:02:06 PM
I will never date a separated (not single) man. I will not get involved in the drama of that lifestyle. People need time after divorced to learn (and heal) who they are as a single person.
I have been single for several years now. I can't believe the difference in how I have change since I was married. Those growth years (not being involved with anyone) where invalueable in becoming the person I am today. Knowing that you can handle anything life throws at you as an independant person is an amazing thing.
 LossMyMarbles
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 239
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:02:05 AM
Nah, the only thing on my list left to do is change a tire.......other than that, I can take care of myself.
 johnnyboy:down not out!
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 240
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 1:00:45 AM
no it's married and seperated. you're single when you divorce...
 checkin-u
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 241
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 3:35:11 AM
can do alot on my own, ex was in the army for a good chunk of our marriage so I had to. Sure there are still things I don't do..like change the oil....*shrug*..19.95 at speedy lube
Why is it that a piece of paper can 'define' whether or not you're emotionally ready to date. I'm sure a lot of people need time to figure out who they are or what they want or time to heal. Ive been doing a lot of soul searching for years. Just finally realized what I had to do....

I think it's more of an individual issue anyway.
 rainskiss
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 242
Is seperated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 4:44:57 AM
Seperated more then 6 months is single.
If your relationship/marriage is bad enough you've had to seperate, then something somewhere has died, and granted there is a few exceptions to the rule but its safe to say, its pretty much over. Sometimes for couples its harder to let go of the familiar even if its fighting and misery then to step into the unknown. You can't bring back whats dead, you can try and make each other miserable in the process, but it generally don't happen.
So yes, if they are seperated 6 months or more, not in marriage counciling, then yes I will date them and be open to more.
Bridgette
 thai_paradise
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 243
Is seperated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:54:23 AM
Really, I agree about divorce being similar to being single. It's amusing how some peole try to rationalize cheating by saying they're separated. This applies to men who say they're 'emotionally separated' or 'we don't do it anymore' or 'we're not sleeping in the same bed'...I mean who cares, you're still entangled with your significant other. Being separated doesn't even come close to being single unless it's a legal separation and you're going through the divorce proceedings and not turning back.



no it's married and seperated.

you're single when you divorce...
 p0340tom
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 245
Is seperated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:02:42 AM
NO!!!!!

How long, after divorce, do you wait before you start calling yourself single again?
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 246
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:12:12 AM
I would not get involved with a married man.. irregardless of if they are seperated or not..

I actually met this guy who had posted himself as single.. at our coffee date he causually mentioned he wasn't divorced yet.. when asked why he said I see no reason i'll do it when something better comes along.. not saying that all guys are like this..

however, when I was done with my relationships I got out of them completely before getting involved with anyone else.. becuase lets face it.. a legal marriage is still a marriage and makes that person unavailable in certain aspects..

I want whoever I get involved with to be available both emtionally and otherwise.
 Bluesmanon45
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 247
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:16:01 AM
Nope....separated is baggage, nuff said.
 PrettyWoman1952
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 249
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:16:29 AM
Stillinlimbo: Thank you for your immature response to my morals. It's men like you that I steer clear of! I won't lower myself to mess around with a married, or "partially married" man. Enough said!
 thai_paradise
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 250
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:39:36 AM
he has none, that's why. what a snake.
 bikebowman
Joined: 3/28/2005
Msg: 251
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History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:46:01 AM
Nope...separated is not single.
Pretty simple
Cheers
 viceguy1
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 253
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:57:56 AM
@designwoman

...Nailed it..
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 254
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 8:18:23 AM
You are totally missing the point to what I meant by being independant. Sure both men and women need to learn to do all the everyday things. That's part of being an adult. What I was refering to was being perfectly comfortable living alone. Making all decisions alone with no one to be your sounding board. Facing serious illness or threats to your well being with no one to lend a helping hand isn't easy. I have no living family member left, so it's all up to me. Run to get married again, so that serious problems can be shared - I don't think so. I would only get into another relationship if it made me and the other person very happy in all ways. I have dealt with running business and daily life married or not. The difference now is that I know that I can (and have faced) all problems, and crisis of life alone and being comfortable doing so. I enjoy travelling alone as it gives me time to truly get involved with different cultures. Most people just don't seem to want to try that. I won't bore you will a list of the crisis that I have faced. I will say that testifying in two criminal trials against a dangerous offender was one of the most challenging, especially since I watched many people who didn't have the courage to testify. Yes, it was a little nerve racking living alone during those two years. I did however learn that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Sorry for the rant and hope you now know that I meant independant independant in all life crisis.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 256
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 9:42:48 AM
What I was taking about was being single and independant.

If he wants to get remarried then he can do what is necessary, Is what you said.

I certainly don't want to argue with you on this issue, and you sure are entitled to your opinion. I just figure that doing the work necessary to become legally single is the responsibility of the person who isn't single. It is just the way I have choosen to live my life.
I sure wouldn't be dating someone who expected to make me responsible for their issues. I am way too busy taking care of my own responsibilities and having time left over for fun.

Each to his or her own of thinking.
 thai_paradise
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 258
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 9:48:39 AM
just because you know how to use French phrases it doesn't make you less of a snake
 Carol27
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 265
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:05:36 PM
No, separated does not mean single.

I didn't date when I was separated for over a year. I felt that as long as we were legally married, I didn't have the right to do anything with another man. JMHO.
 Revision 26
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 266
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:14:12 PM
I am amazed at how many people my age (25) are divorced. WTF were you people thinking?
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 269
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 1:09:42 PM
I just love how quick to judge people are around here, specially on what is perceived to be a poor excuse or not. Until you walk in someone else's shoes it is unfair to judge people so recklessly.

Me personally, I am just waiting for the 1 year seperation period to complete so I can file my divorce papers. I can however understand why other people may not be in a position to do the same and it be unfair of me to judge them one way or another.

I am all for people making personal choices in who they date. My issue here is using legal status to determine who is "dateable" is rather short sighted and unfair.

Bandito
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 270
view profile
History
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 1:29:21 PM
Bandito

Legal status is only a small percentage of why I won't date a separated man. In a few years, chances are you will look back and realize that you weren't ready to do anything other than casual (if any) dating at all during the your separation. You will see the issue from the other side of the coin. If you are looking for a lasting relationship, dating someone who is rushing into the next relationship is a mine field that isn't worth getting involved in.
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 272
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 3:17:42 PM
@moraima thank you for the advice I am not dating because I was smart enough to know I am not in a position to date yet. The issue goes far beyond my legal status and pretty much has to do with my children who I have custody of. They are a higher priority and need a lot of time to adjust. However, that is my decision and I would like it to remain my decision

The fact is anyone exiting a long term relationship shouldn't go out and rush into another relationship even if you weren't married. I agree totally that this is just being irresponsible...called rebounding.

I don't prescribe that anyone go and "rush" into a relationship. I am a big proponent of "baby steps".

Bandito
 Bluesmanon45
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 273
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 3:18:10 PM
Legal is legal....court is court....half is half

Emotional is emotional....done is done....ready is ready, and they aint ever the same thing.

You can have all the resolve in the world, you can fall madly in love with someone, unfinished business is unfinished business. I are one. Say whatever you like, if the legal stuff isnt taken care of, court's coming sooner or later. If the emotional stuff isnt taken care of, something's coming sooner or later. I dont like where Im at in mine, but I tend to fix things I dont like. This state has a way of making that incredibly difficult for people already barely making it, but where there's a will there is a way.
 floky
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 274
Is separated single?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:05:05 PM
Separated is still married and if the wife will have them back they will go home. Married men say they are separated when they want to play. They want sex period. To cheap to pay a pro when there are so many charity whores who will give it away. If it's there they will lie to get it. Never date a married man. If he is ending a marriage he will be getting a divorce, and I would damm sure have to see the papers before believing him. Live and learn girls. THERE IS NO FUTURE IN A SEPARATED OR MARRIED MAN. There are lots of single guys out there,why waste your time and be stressed out over some jerk? [ I am just trying to be honest here and mean no harm to you ladies here on line.] and THINK
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