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 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 49
Exposing phoniesPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Yes I am upset that I got played, and I wanted to know if anything could be done about people who ABUSE this site. Yes, I got mad, but that doesn't mean that I was not taken advantage of. I am not the one who did something wrong

It seems you are seeing your Point of View only, not the overall Picture, as that would include numerous variabilities such her getting wet feet.

Are we gonna expose and ban someone because of the possibility she deliberately played you?

Do we even have the right to drag her on the carpet and make her accountable for her No-Show?

It would be scary if we did.

Obviously, I was hurt. At what point did I say anything hostile? If you read my posts, you will see that I say I don't want revenge, I want to expose her as a phony.

We have absolutely no concrete facts other than what you claim that she is a phony without instituting an investigation., which ... we cannot do under these circumstances. She has the 'Right' to not participate because it would amount to an undue intrusion into her personal Life.
In short, we cannot do what you ask for ... not possible under these circumstances.

But whatever, she is still a phony, and I don't like that, and I don't want it to happen again, or to anyone else. I wish something could be done about phonies.

A wish not grantable under these circumstances. If she had attempted to physically injure you, or anything else that would point that she may be dangerous, then we'd look at that in another light. There is no rule here at POF that states anyone has to show up for a date.

sounds like you invested too much (intellecutally) in this date..... before you even arrived.

Exactly ... you may be moving too far ahead of yourself.

My conclusion is that women constantly complain about insincere men, but woman cannot accept that many women are also insincere.

Women? Everyone is different. They don't all live in the same Hive and talk about you before coming out to see you for a date.

the guy is looking for some understanding and compassion. if you have nothing nice to say then dont' say anything at all. only a moron sits back and picks on a person for saying what he feels.

Re-read the Thread. He wants to expose her as a phony. There is no such thing here on the Forums.

2) people tend to respond on the forums by calling you a whiner, even if you have a legitimate complaint.

Its not a 'legitimate complaint' in respect to POF taking any Actions against anyone. This kind of thing happens daily at any dating site.

Bottom line ... you got dumped, and she can do that any way she deems suitable.
 Ratero-park-man
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 54
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:20:23 PM
{It seems you are seeing your Point of View only, not the overall Picture, as that would include numerous variabilities such her getting wet feet.

Are we gonna expose and ban someone because of the possibility she deliberately played you?

Do we even have the right to drag her on the carpet and make her accountable for her No-Show?

It would be scary if we did.}


Hey on Plentyoffish anything is possible...Anything.
 aftereight
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 60
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 9:27:42 PM
how does changing one's profile make them a phoney?

anyway I don't unerstand why people are coming down so hard on this guy, I bet if it were a woman posting this thread all the open arms and offered shoulders to cry on would come out. that is shittttty to have someone lead you on like that. still you can't start a "warning" thread about someone.

OP: having a section on a dating site to report bad dates is a bad idea, what goes on between two people is strictly between those two. and you cannot form a public "complaint box" to report people who you've had a bad date with.Imagine all the people who would lie and say bad things about others simply out of spite because they were dumped, ignored or told they were no longer interesting. it would be chaotic.
 bewitchingsecret
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 61
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 10:15:19 PM

....cannot form a public "complaint box" to report people who you've had a bad date with. Imagine all the people who would lie and say bad things about others simply out of spite because they were dumped, ignored or told they were no longer interesting. it would be chaotic.


I'm beginning to think that there is one ~ gotta talk to PoF about why they forwarded it all to my inbox
 kimmys_place_2
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 73
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:53:12 PM
yeah maybe she DID show up but you didn't see her. When she saw you, she may have decided she didn't like what she saw and bailed.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 75
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:38:50 PM
I think standing up a date like that is very rude. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I went through that humiliation a couple of years ago, and six months later I saw the twerp's name in the engagement listings in the paper! I feel sorry for the woman who married him.
 mft
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 76
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:44:19 PM
Post a Pic on your profile of yourself. Then we would be in a far better position to reply to your 'Original Post'.


How refreshing! What an idea! Actually post a picture of yourself, a recent one at that...think of the possibilities. Putting a face with the words..hmmm.

Maybe she got busted, looks nothing like she represented in picture or words? Or maybe she realized she didn't want to take the time out of her life on a gamble about you.

The simpler this stuff gets, there always seems to be someone out there willing to crud it up!
 sunshineface03
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 77
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 3:31:18 AM
^^^this probly wasn't the profile he used at the time, nor can we assume this is the picture he he had up at the time. You can change your picture everyday if you really wanted.

Reading the posts here though it looks like a pretty close minded (typical POF user) person here. He only wants people to tell him what he wants to hear and doesn't notice those other points of view that he doesn't. Its an attention thing...oh woe is me, feel sorry for me... Starting to look that way anyway.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 82
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:50:10 PM
No, spincycle, nothing gives her the right to be so RUDE. Standing up to someone who has planned a date is plain old RUDE.

There's NO rationale that makes that kind of crass behavior acceptable!!
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 86
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:04:31 PM
If he was crazed looking, ie stoned or dangerous looking, I'd call the police. Then we would address it as a safety issue. If it's merely something not attractive looking, I would still be polite and show up. Then I would at least thank the man for his time, and explain that he's not a match. I think that would hurt less than just totally blowing the man off.

What ever happened to manners in this country?????? I wish we would put more emphasis on manners and etiquette in the schools so that kids can learn how to behave in a respectable manner (no pun intended!). I realize that is the parents' job, but some parents just don't have a clue. The schools should help out with this--hey our kids are our future. We should help them along the path of life.

Now I agree I was getting off topic, now back on---I just had someone that I was corresponding with here on POF hurt me badly by closing the account suddenly and with no further explanation. That really hurt. I Have no idea why, and I just wish I had some warning or an explanation. It is hurtful to do that. I'd rather be told that I'm not a good match for the person so I could move on and go back to instead of scratching my head and wondering why this happened. Closure DOES help!
 aftereight
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 90
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:14:14 PM
^^ serioulsy come off of it, it doesn't matter what they/it was. the point still is, it was very rude. cut this guy some slack.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 91
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:17:01 PM
That's why we have POLICE!! It's different when you are talking about SAFETY. I can understand in that case. But the majority of situations aren't because of mental illness, it's because of RUDENESS!!

It's inexcusable unless you are talking about safety. I Hope you called the police when you had the guy pointing a pistol at you!!!!

With that said, I have been on the receiving end of being stood up, and it HURTS. Sorry, it's RUDE and there are no excuses. I wouldn't hurt a fly, and this jerk later came up with a lame excuse. So I hung up on the brat and went back to fishing!
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 94
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:20:33 PM
I still hope you called the police!! Of course, manners go out the window when we are talking about safety.

BUT with that said, just standing up someone without a valid reason is still RUDE.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 97
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:44:32 PM
Thank you Sienna, you said it much better than I could, and you hit the nail on the head!
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 101
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:09:36 PM
if she is bozonkers... you should be glad to be rid of her.... and keep it quiet so she doesn't come back and get crazy on your ass..

jeeeezzzzzuuussssss..... why does it even matter.... life is not defined by this one incident... her reasons are hers... so be it... doesn't matter... not a deal...

bottomline... the only person that knows why this person didn't show is the person behind the profile.... her fears?? a joke??? something she saw?? something she heard?? who knows... it will be one of lifes biggest mysteries....
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 102
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:49:43 PM
Hey, Sienna,

Yes, that was a great way to put it!! I think that woman is out in some field chewing on hay!! Good description.
 huhoney
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 103
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:56:58 PM
as a perpetually late person... i always worry this will happen! did you wait a while?
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 109
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:47:34 AM
Amen, Some Honest Thoughts! You are a breath of fresh air!! I bet that most of those phonies DID vote for Bushboy!!

I am saddened that these people are defending this RUDE woman. She is rude, and did not learn the basics of manners. I still wish there was more emphasis in our society on proper manners.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 128
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 12:56:27 PM
sienna Since when does someone being involved make them unqualified to comment on a thread? He IS in a serious relationship with me. And? There are several regular posters who are involved, some married. If you choose to not read our posts because you consider we're unqualified, fine.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 131
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 1:38:24 PM
sienna I still have single friends that come to me for advice that are frustrated. I wouldn't dream of giving advice like that anyway. I spent many years single before Sas and I got together. I remember it all too well, just because i don't have to go through it doesn't mean I can't relate. If it's something i can't relate to I don't post.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 133
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 4:12:42 PM
Is that right...HECK NO! Has it been done to me? Well not that exactly, I have had people who I was corresponding with just disappear. Many times over. I had one guy who "persued" me for 3 years with no meeting! Yes, I was on and off of a certain site. Put up a profile, got bored, whatever, took it off. I'm a direct, get down to it, meet or forget it. He had my email and phone no. But as soon as I'd put up a profile, bam, he'd be all excited, good to see you again, what's going on...blah blah gag...as soon as I'd try to pin him down to meet. POOF! Repeat cycle. I don't even want to begin to waste the time to think why. Doesn't matter, I commented to him the last time he did another "recontact" (which I did a thread about here). It's been 3 years, apparently not enough interest to meet, so.......see ya! Not mad not angry not bitter, but not going to waste my time either. I have first date horror stories that would make you roll on the ground laughing, not funny at the time, but laughed later.
It's noone's perogative to treat someone badly, but it happens. Sooner or later, internet or face to face. I've had phone messages unreturned emails unread. I just shrug it off. And most importantly, I didn't settle. I met Sas when I wasn't looking, really just not even interested in meeting or going out, I was into the forums and enjoying many wonderful people I'd met there. We just kind of bumped into each other.
Noone should tolerate behavior that isn't acceptable. Stuff does happen and at certain times with 4 kids at home, working and going to school fulltime I never stood anyone up. Ever. If I had to cancel because something happened, there was either an email or phone call or both. I would never subject anyone to sitting somewhere waiting for me. That's never happened. I have to live with myself so I treat everyone as best as I can with respect. I don't toy with people or their emotions and feelings for my amusement. I have better things to do. If I feel someone's toying with me, well hello I know where the block delete functions are and have no qualms using them.
Did that answer your question?
edit: Lazyboy...wasn't overlooking your question. Hmm...look at his profile and mine. Don't have to read the whole thing, he's better at doing the pic thing than I am.
 mari_sam
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 136
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 4:39:22 PM
This is but a playground for all to beware,
Not everything in life, you should make public and share
Live and learn is part of life
But never count on being the wife

Louse to one is friend to another
don't dis on my native brother.....
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 142
Exposing phonies
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:49:05 PM
First off, never send money, money orders, or checks to anyone on here, no matter how long you have chatted with them, there are con artists all over the place, and they will sucker you in a heartbeat. Stay on your toes, and don't believe ANY sob story.

There are also people who get their rocks off by luring people to meet them at bars, clubs or restaurants and seeing if they can get them to show up. They sit in the back and laugh while you sit at the table for hours waiting for them to show. Yeah it's a horrible thing to do, but there are some really cruel people out there. How do I know this? Because it happened to me. The difference is, when I showed up at the club, I recognized the guy sitting with a group of his friends across the bar, when he was supposed to be meeting me AT the bar...his friends ratted him out that this was his standard procedure and they all usually got a good laugh out of it. He got a right hook this time. I think he learned a good lesson, my fist was sore for several days.

Don't agree to drive hours and hours to meet anyone. Make plans to meet face to face only after you have talked on the phone for a good length of time, and you have eliminated any red flags. Pay attention when you listen to them, a lot of times you can pick up on a lot of things that just don't seem right. And never put yourself in a dangerous situation. Remember, people on here can lie about anything and everything. Don't trust people blindly. Be on your guard at all times. Don't be so closed off that you are afraid to get to know someone, but be wise and wary. There are some wonderful men and women on here, but there are some batshit crazy ones on here too.

Good luck,
Beth
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