Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Exposing phonies      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mft
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 76
Exposing phoniesPage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Post a Pic on your profile of yourself. Then we would be in a far better position to reply to your 'Original Post'.


How refreshing! What an idea! Actually post a picture of yourself, a recent one at that...think of the possibilities. Putting a face with the words..hmmm.

Maybe she got busted, looks nothing like she represented in picture or words? Or maybe she realized she didn't want to take the time out of her life on a gamble about you.

The simpler this stuff gets, there always seems to be someone out there willing to crud it up!
 sunshineface03
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 77
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 3:31:18 AM
^^^this probly wasn't the profile he used at the time, nor can we assume this is the picture he he had up at the time. You can change your picture everyday if you really wanted.

Reading the posts here though it looks like a pretty close minded (typical POF user) person here. He only wants people to tell him what he wants to hear and doesn't notice those other points of view that he doesn't. Its an attention thing...oh woe is me, feel sorry for me... Starting to look that way anyway.
 sunfishone2001
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 78
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 10:44:21 AM

Reading the posts here though it looks like a pretty close minded (typical POF user) person here.


No..... there's nothing at all closed minded about your post. No no no, not at all snobby either.
 MyKidsDadIAm
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:29:26 AM
Hey OP, welcome to Life 101. She came, she chatted, she teased, and she stood you up. Now move on.
 spincycle1963
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 80
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:24:20 PM
Naawww,I think she chatted,she went to the date,saw something she didn't like(she either didn't like you or felt unsafe),left(as is her right),ended contact.That's not phony...that's smart.
 lazyboy
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 81
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:50:05 PM

I think she chatted,she went to the date,saw something she didn't like(she either didn't like you or felt unsafe),left(as is her right),ended contact.That's not phony...that's smart.


She kinda deserved what she got...i mean, how could anybody not want to
view a pic before they go and meet? Hopefully this is a growth experience
for her.

NEVER EVER meet anybody who can't afford to put up a pic, or has an excuse
that their cam is broken; blah blah blah...it's all BS.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:50:10 PM
No, spincycle, nothing gives her the right to be so RUDE. Standing up to someone who has planned a date is plain old RUDE.

There's NO rationale that makes that kind of crass behavior acceptable!!
 lazyboy
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 83
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:56:50 PM
DW: if you showed up and you saw the most crazed looking dude you've
laid your eye's on, would you sit down with him?

The RIGHT? Come on, let's get real; if you refuse to show your pic, then
there's no warranty that your date is going to show up.
 terminallycute
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 84
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:58:10 PM
who are you to think that this person is phonie?

just because she wasnt what she seemed to you, doesnt mean that she isnt someone elses soulmate. Its really sad when we begin to judge those who dont caiter to our every need.

Stop trying to be a Hero to us all!

Forget about her and move on! Thats all you can do
 Sienna_leigh
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 85
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:00:03 PM
Uh lazyboy, get with the program - he DID indicate that they HAD exchanged pictures.

It's rude to stand somebody up, it really is. Yes, maybe she was nervous - maybe HE was nervous and had to psyche himself up all day to get the courage to follow-through and meet her, anybody ever think of that?

She chatted with him right up until before he left to meet her - giving him every indication that she'd meet him....then after she stands him up, she blocks him.

I remember my first few times meeting someone this way and I was horribly nervous, very close to throwing up.......and it did cross my mind the day before to email them and apologize and tell them I couldn't go through with it, that I was too much of a chicken, but I decided to bite the bullet and do it - but the point is, I wouldn't lead a guy on right up until the last minute and then stand him up, that's the epitome of game-playing, immature and rude. And what if she was too nervous to follow-through? What stopped her from being a decent human being such that she'd at least have the shred of courage it would take to email him and apologize for not showing up but explaining that she was too nervous - no, instead she just blocked him.

And what if she did meet him and could see him from a distance and didn't like his look - is that any reason to scurry off and leave someone waiting for you? I can't tell you how many times I've met someone who didn't appear like their picture and I knew the minute I saw them that I wasn't attracted and never could be - but I wasn't a b*tch about it. I'd just keep the coffee meeting short, big deal.

It's a sad day when we justify and excuse bad behavior.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:04:31 PM
If he was crazed looking, ie stoned or dangerous looking, I'd call the police. Then we would address it as a safety issue. If it's merely something not attractive looking, I would still be polite and show up. Then I would at least thank the man for his time, and explain that he's not a match. I think that would hurt less than just totally blowing the man off.

What ever happened to manners in this country?????? I wish we would put more emphasis on manners and etiquette in the schools so that kids can learn how to behave in a respectable manner (no pun intended!). I realize that is the parents' job, but some parents just don't have a clue. The schools should help out with this--hey our kids are our future. We should help them along the path of life.

Now I agree I was getting off topic, now back on---I just had someone that I was corresponding with here on POF hurt me badly by closing the account suddenly and with no further explanation. That really hurt. I Have no idea why, and I just wish I had some warning or an explanation. It is hurtful to do that. I'd rather be told that I'm not a good match for the person so I could move on and go back to instead of scratching my head and wondering why this happened. Closure DOES help!
 spincycle1963
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 87
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:06:54 PM
I met someone from the net once.He turned out be a psychotic schizophrenic.I cut off communication,changed my number and am moving.I don't owe him an explanation.And I don't want to hear his.That's not rude or krass.That's staying alive to tell about it.He was a total figment of his own imagination.When I told him I wanted to leave and he got out his pistol should I have told him that he was being inhospitable?And asked him to use his manners?
 spincycle1963
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 88
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:07:36 PM
P!ss on hoity toity....I'm alive.
 lazyboy
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 89
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:08:45 PM
Well then, let's just chalk it up to naughty girls & boys playing around. How do
you even know that the 'girl' wasn't actually a couple of 12 year old boys
playing around??????? If I shared with you what we did as kids you'd
be surprised...I was surprised we made it past our teens in one piece with
the stunts we pulled. We were NOT very nice but enjoyed a nice laugh
more than life.

 aftereight
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 90
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:14:14 PM
^^ serioulsy come off of it, it doesn't matter what they/it was. the point still is, it was very rude. cut this guy some slack.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:17:01 PM
That's why we have POLICE!! It's different when you are talking about SAFETY. I can understand in that case. But the majority of situations aren't because of mental illness, it's because of RUDENESS!!

It's inexcusable unless you are talking about safety. I Hope you called the police when you had the guy pointing a pistol at you!!!!

With that said, I have been on the receiving end of being stood up, and it HURTS. Sorry, it's RUDE and there are no excuses. I wouldn't hurt a fly, and this jerk later came up with a lame excuse. So I hung up on the brat and went back to fishing!
 shakdicaprio
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 92
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:17:43 PM
man I agree with you anybody that dont take the time. to really know someone well enought. she as to be a phony oooo u want to expose ok let have the name you know just incase she stands one of us up how good can it get
 spincycle1963
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 93
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:18:08 PM
You're right.I should have said,"Quit pointing that gun..it's RUDE!"But my WITS took over my manners.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 94
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:20:33 PM
I still hope you called the police!! Of course, manners go out the window when we are talking about safety.

BUT with that said, just standing up someone without a valid reason is still RUDE.
 Sienna_leigh
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 95
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:38:04 PM
Um, spincycle - obviously your experience is CLEARLY in a different category than the Original Poster's, wouldn't you say? ..so I'm not sure why you're being all snotty and hostile. Of course you had every right to break off all contact with someone who was deeply mentally ill, who had a weapon and who scared the hellouttaya...but in the Original Poster's case, the chick didn't even have the class to meet him as she stated she would. Apples and oranges here.
 lazyboy
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 96
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:43:13 PM

Apples and oranges here.


......or nuts and bananas...mmmmm....possibly the fruit variety also. Potato or patatoe.

I know it's time for dinner now.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:44:32 PM
Thank you Sienna, you said it much better than I could, and you hit the nail on the head!
 spincycle1963
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 98
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:56:29 PM
I'm not being snotty...I'm joking around...I'm glad to be here(I shoulda put laughing guy icon on posts)I truly believed I was not going to survive that and I am still processing what happened.IF I can find a way to laugh about it..I'm going to.My point about the original post is if the woman pulled up and her instincts told her to get the hell out of dodge...she is right to.
 sunfishone2001
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 99
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:01:42 PM

Naawww,I think she chatted,she went to the date,saw something she didn't like(she either didn't like you or felt unsafe),left(as is her right),ended contact.That's not phony...that's smart.


People like you were discussed on the first couple of pages. It's funny how you assume, that there must have been something wrong with me, so she got scared and left. People seem to assume that the man is the crazy one, or the pushy one, and women cannot be in the wrong. It's a shame that you met a schizo, but that really has absolutely nothing to do with my situation. She was the one acting bazonkers. She was the one who insisted so strongly she wanted to meet me I was the one who had every reason to believe she was not right in the head. But I made the mistake of trusting her, and then I got played. It's not the end of the world, but it's not right, and I was mad.


How do you even know that the 'girl' wasn't actually a couple of 12 year old boys
playing around???????


EXACTLY LAZYBOY!!! THANK YOU!!! You FINALLY understand!!!! That is why I started this thread in the first place.... to EXPOSE those people who are not for real. Someone said that other dating sites actually have reviews on people, similar to ebay reviews (positve, negative, etc). I think it could work for this site too, and all dating sites. I think there are too many phonies on dating sites, who are here to mess with people. They are out there!!!! I am sick of it!!! And I'm sick of having eggs thrown at me when I go for a walk! There are people who have fun by making other people miserable. It's not right.


maybe HE was nervous and had to psyche himself up all day to get the courage to follow-through and meet her, anybody ever think of that?


Thank You Sienna!! You are a very nice lady. Yes, I was nervous. And the reason this made me so mad was because it wasn't over and done with instantly. We planned to meet 5 days in advance. I made sure I didn't schedule anything for that time. And for 5 days I was looking forward to meeting her, and I was pretty nervous and excited the whole time. I haven't met with someone in quite a long time. It was something to look forward to. I told friends that I was finally meeting with someone.

Whatever, I don't really care if people sympathize or not, I just told my story, hoping that maybe something could be done over time to stop phonies, and now I'm responding to whatever people say. If what you say is dumb, then I will not respond well. If what you say makes sense, then I will respond well.
 Sienna_leigh
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 100
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:09:25 PM
Spincycle: sorry, I guess I took you the wrong way. Sorry for what happened to you.

So sunfishone - you said she was chatting with you, right up until you left to meet you. Was she being her usual self when chatting then? Was she definitely leading you to believe that she'd be meeting you? I get the impression that this is the case. That's what makes her so nasty - that she played you along right up until the last minute. If she'd had any class, she'd have at least given you some lame excuse then - to prevent you from wasting your time and nerves to go and meet her. She's a b*tch and I don't care if she was nervous, how much nerve does one have to have to drop an email and say "I'm very sorry, I really wanted to meet you but I'm too much of a chicken - I'd feel more comfortable to wait a bit and get to know one another better before we take that step -- OR -- I don't think this way of meeting someone is for me"

The fact that she blocked you and didn't even give you the opportunity to ask what happened, and the fact that she didn't even have the decency to offer an explanation or apology proves she's a cow, shame on her.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Exposing phonies