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 shakdicaprio
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 92
Exposing phoniesPage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
man I agree with you anybody that dont take the time. to really know someone well enought. she as to be a phony oooo u want to expose ok let have the name you know just incase she stands one of us up how good can it get
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 94
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:20:33 PM
I still hope you called the police!! Of course, manners go out the window when we are talking about safety.

BUT with that said, just standing up someone without a valid reason is still RUDE.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 97
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:44:32 PM
Thank you Sienna, you said it much better than I could, and you hit the nail on the head!
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 101
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:09:36 PM
if she is bozonkers... you should be glad to be rid of her.... and keep it quiet so she doesn't come back and get crazy on your ass..

jeeeezzzzzuuussssss..... why does it even matter.... life is not defined by this one incident... her reasons are hers... so be it... doesn't matter... not a deal...

bottomline... the only person that knows why this person didn't show is the person behind the profile.... her fears?? a joke??? something she saw?? something she heard?? who knows... it will be one of lifes biggest mysteries....
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 102
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:49:43 PM
Hey, Sienna,

Yes, that was a great way to put it!! I think that woman is out in some field chewing on hay!! Good description.
 huhoney
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 103
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:56:58 PM
as a perpetually late person... i always worry this will happen! did you wait a while?
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 104
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:19:48 AM
I skipped a lot of pages and don't know where we're at here, but referring to the original post and the first page or replies...

Why is everyone defending this woman???

The man in this case is clearly the well-intended, earnest person who made a date and kept it, in good faith.

The Woman, right up until go time, allowed the man to believe she would honor the date and show up.

The Man wasted his time and resources in a tough world. He invested a degree of hope and faith that this system of meeting people was legitimate.

The Woman not only failed to show up, but did not let him know before his expenditure that she would not be showing up, for whatever reason. She then blocked him, without so much as a "sorry 'bout that!" and left him feeling like a total fool.

Why do we, more and more, defend people who are clearly WRONG?

I have no problem with mind-changing, cold-feet, and loss of interest. Nobody can be called wrong for that, but to some degree, when you enter a dialogue with another human being, it should go without saying that a certain amount of basic respect and decency exist.

This woman did not display basic courtesy, and therefore the allegation of "Phony" certainly applies. She undermines the entire good-faith nature of the system.

Yet people defend her. Meanwhile, there's one more Man out there feeling worse about the whole scene. The ripple effects from this kind of behaviour are staggering in the big picture.

But this woman? Angel! Probably pees champagne.

-Greg
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 106
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:34:33 AM
Well, I forgot the whole "Expose them" angle.

It's pretty much impossible as the above poster mentions. They'll come back.

I think your only recourse here is to just learn a lesson.

If you don't wish to be victimized again in this way, you have to learn to listen to your instincts.

1. Red Flags - Don't disregard them. I have a rule of three. Three Red Flags and I'm moving on. That may be too many, even.

2. Learn the basics of Psychology. Understand when someone is exhibiting symptoms of pahtology. (I learned a LOT just listening to "Loveline" over the years, funny and informative at the same time.)

3. Substance Abuse. If you are a drug user or heavy drinker, and/or you are hooking up with other drug users or heavy drinkers, understand that you are shooting yourself in the foot right out of the gate. Drug use and Alcohol abuse are signs of past truama and unresolved issues.

4. Get a phone number and a first and last name. If you cannot get these things, you are most likely dealing with someone who is fake, and/or so far removed from the basics of everyday life that some sort of trauma or issue certainly exists.


If you get a grasp on those four things, you'll be doing a lot better for yourself.

Our society produces a lot of broken people. I made many mistakes over the years thinking that damaged people "will come around" if only I show them some love. It just doesn't work that way. They need to help themselves and the sad truth is that they may very well go through life believing that they are okay and never get the help they need.

Be careful out there.

-Greg
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 107
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:36:01 AM
Sienna,

Yeah, I see that now, but wow, a staggering amount of people *are* defending her. I find it really disturbing.

Probably the same people who voted for Bush
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 109
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:47:34 AM
Amen, Some Honest Thoughts! You are a breath of fresh air!! I bet that most of those phonies DID vote for Bushboy!!

I am saddened that these people are defending this RUDE woman. She is rude, and did not learn the basics of manners. I still wish there was more emphasis in our society on proper manners.
 shore66
Joined: 5/23/2004
Msg: 113
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:19:42 AM

This woman did not display basic courtesy, and therefore the allegation of "Phony" certainly applies. She undermines the entire good-faith nature of the system.

Yet people defend her. Meanwhile, there's one more Man out there feeling worse about the whole scene. The ripple effects from this kind of behaviour are staggering in the big picture.




Women get stood up, too, you know. It's happened to me. Did I like it? No. Was I irritated? Yes. Did I waste a lot of time gnashing my teeth, and going on and on about how the guy was a phony? Nope, better things to do.
 wespauley
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 114
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:21:49 AM
So you got stood up. Big f*****G deal. Get over it. I bet I hold some kind of world record for getting stood up on dates. As strange as it sounds, I am usually somewhat relieved when they don't show up. I might be angry at first, but better to be stood up than to get involved with some psycho or flake that will play games and mess with your emotions. Now you no all you need to know about this girl: She isn't reliable. You want that in your life?
 4loorplay
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 117
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:37:11 AM
Sunfishone

Get a hunky picture make a new profile weasel your way to her,and do the samething back to her. Some people ???????
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 121
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 10:25:23 AM
Well, it's certainly true that there's a lesson to be learned for this man.

And I definately agree that Revenge or retribution is a bad idea.

As for this poor, defenseless, unrepresented woman....

She blocked the guy, and offered no apology...therefore the court finds for the Plaintiff by default.

-Greg
 Sasquatch2
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 122
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 10:31:31 AM
Sienna et al..


Thank God that our laws don't work like this.


What part of ^THAT^ ESCAPES YOU?

Rudeness is not illegal,

thankfully,in other cases,nor is free choice!

I change my mind about meeting you,you wanna sue me?!?

I see a few lifetime memberships in the offing...
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 124
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 10:40:48 AM
Sienna, I think this is just the way the world is going!

More and more people are just celebrating evil and nastiness and if someone is victimized, they are obviously weak and survival of the fittest.

The more we become this as a society, the more we don't deserve the comforts of a civilized world.

People at large are just animals, behaving like animals...sooner or later we will all be living like animals once again.

You nailed it about Sasquatch there, it is inevitable that the same scenario will happen to him as you say, he will be outraged and wonder if there's any justice in this world.

-Greg
 Sasquatch2
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 125
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 10:48:34 AM
..I'M not the one on a soapbox,people...

Maybe my skin is thicker than yours?...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 128
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 12:56:27 PM
sienna Since when does someone being involved make them unqualified to comment on a thread? He IS in a serious relationship with me. And? There are several regular posters who are involved, some married. If you choose to not read our posts because you consider we're unqualified, fine.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 131
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 1:38:24 PM
sienna I still have single friends that come to me for advice that are frustrated. I wouldn't dream of giving advice like that anyway. I spent many years single before Sas and I got together. I remember it all too well, just because i don't have to go through it doesn't mean I can't relate. If it's something i can't relate to I don't post.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 133
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 4:12:42 PM
Is that right...HECK NO! Has it been done to me? Well not that exactly, I have had people who I was corresponding with just disappear. Many times over. I had one guy who "persued" me for 3 years with no meeting! Yes, I was on and off of a certain site. Put up a profile, got bored, whatever, took it off. I'm a direct, get down to it, meet or forget it. He had my email and phone no. But as soon as I'd put up a profile, bam, he'd be all excited, good to see you again, what's going on...blah blah gag...as soon as I'd try to pin him down to meet. POOF! Repeat cycle. I don't even want to begin to waste the time to think why. Doesn't matter, I commented to him the last time he did another "recontact" (which I did a thread about here). It's been 3 years, apparently not enough interest to meet, so.......see ya! Not mad not angry not bitter, but not going to waste my time either. I have first date horror stories that would make you roll on the ground laughing, not funny at the time, but laughed later.
It's noone's perogative to treat someone badly, but it happens. Sooner or later, internet or face to face. I've had phone messages unreturned emails unread. I just shrug it off. And most importantly, I didn't settle. I met Sas when I wasn't looking, really just not even interested in meeting or going out, I was into the forums and enjoying many wonderful people I'd met there. We just kind of bumped into each other.
Noone should tolerate behavior that isn't acceptable. Stuff does happen and at certain times with 4 kids at home, working and going to school fulltime I never stood anyone up. Ever. If I had to cancel because something happened, there was either an email or phone call or both. I would never subject anyone to sitting somewhere waiting for me. That's never happened. I have to live with myself so I treat everyone as best as I can with respect. I don't toy with people or their emotions and feelings for my amusement. I have better things to do. If I feel someone's toying with me, well hello I know where the block delete functions are and have no qualms using them.
Did that answer your question?
edit: Lazyboy...wasn't overlooking your question. Hmm...look at his profile and mine. Don't have to read the whole thing, he's better at doing the pic thing than I am.
 mari_sam
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 136
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Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 4:39:22 PM
This is but a playground for all to beware,
Not everything in life, you should make public and share
Live and learn is part of life
But never count on being the wife

Louse to one is friend to another
don't dis on my native brother.....
 hot4teacher
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 137
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 4:50:26 PM
I personally love those who you actually meet but then they disappear without a trace despite telling you they are very interested.
 smile with your eyes
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 139
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 7:01:02 PM
hey hey hey bring it down a notch ladies and gentlemen.

Jesus...it's obviously a full moon!

And for the record...mess with my mommy and daddy...I GET ANGRY!!!!

I'm all for a healthy debate but the general namecalling is starting to wear thin!!!!
 mparker1
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 141
Exposing phonies
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:38:56 PM
I sent a person a letter that I pre wrote, now grant it I should have read all of her profile. She has a hole page of things mostly showing off her intelligence witch I believe to be something she has prewritten. She complained that my letter was a classic example of, a copy and paste , and that I should read profiles first, and that I should'nt talk about myself, She blocked me after the insulting letter. I just want to say that anyone who insults you then blocks you is a coward. And if you think you are to good for average people then you shouldn be aloud to be on this sight. This is just my opinion thats all and thats supposed to be OK on here. this is what forums are all about, voicing your opinion. Thank you
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 142
Exposing phonies
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:49:05 PM
First off, never send money, money orders, or checks to anyone on here, no matter how long you have chatted with them, there are con artists all over the place, and they will sucker you in a heartbeat. Stay on your toes, and don't believe ANY sob story.

There are also people who get their rocks off by luring people to meet them at bars, clubs or restaurants and seeing if they can get them to show up. They sit in the back and laugh while you sit at the table for hours waiting for them to show. Yeah it's a horrible thing to do, but there are some really cruel people out there. How do I know this? Because it happened to me. The difference is, when I showed up at the club, I recognized the guy sitting with a group of his friends across the bar, when he was supposed to be meeting me AT the bar...his friends ratted him out that this was his standard procedure and they all usually got a good laugh out of it. He got a right hook this time. I think he learned a good lesson, my fist was sore for several days.

Don't agree to drive hours and hours to meet anyone. Make plans to meet face to face only after you have talked on the phone for a good length of time, and you have eliminated any red flags. Pay attention when you listen to them, a lot of times you can pick up on a lot of things that just don't seem right. And never put yourself in a dangerous situation. Remember, people on here can lie about anything and everything. Don't trust people blindly. Be on your guard at all times. Don't be so closed off that you are afraid to get to know someone, but be wise and wary. There are some wonderful men and women on here, but there are some batshit crazy ones on here too.

Good luck,
Beth
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