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 AManofAdventure
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 51
Is a 9 year age difference too much?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I know it would be a big problem if I were 25 and she were 16, and no problem if I were 98 and she were 89. But I am 38, and she is 29.

At the ages you two are at, nine years age difference is no big deal. As long as you guys have the normal degree of things in common that a successful relationship needs of course. Oh and the same would be the case in reverse by the way if she was 38 and you were 29.
 blue0628
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 52
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:05:02 AM
Your focus should be on whether the two of you have good rapport and an understanding of what each other's desires and goals are. Are those met or can they be met and/or complemented by the other? The actual age difference is something that can either give your relationship more dimension or establish an easy excuse for not working out conflicts. You will choose by how much you value whatever you have already established between you.
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 53
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Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:27:56 AM
As long as both of you are over 18, only the two of you can decide this. As the poster above said, it's all about the rapport.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 54
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Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 9:37:40 AM
As you mature more and more, the age factor will turn gray instead of being so black and white as you have stated it.

When in your teens, a couple of years can make a huge difference in dating, maturity, and age requirements. In your 20's a few years will do the same thing. In your 30's most seem to think maybe five years difference is the best or you might be viewed as robbing the cradle or a cougar stalking the young......

Once you get to your 40's things open up much more depending on your maturity, fitness, looks, occupation, education, etc. The number of those that are in their 40's and look much younger are just as much as those that look their age or much older. Many of the activities that you frequent are also the same as those in their 30's, 40's, 50's and some 60's leaving a wide open group of potentials there to know.

Then the 50's comes along and some still have the "old way" of thinking that you should be in a wheel chair, bald, fat, thinking grand kids, etc., and this is so far from the truth. Most of us boomers are now heading in that direction and not accepting the "old" norms, staying in shape, exercising, starting new families, new jobs, more education, on and on, and thus for some the gap of age has now expanded even up to 20 years and many do not know what those ages are and who is what birth date.

I have dated those 10 to 20 years younger than I am, and some as much as 15 older, all have worked with attraction, chemistry and desire to know each other. Many other factors enter into it deciding long term commitment, and most end up being just friends or not workable, but for the most part, age was one of the last things to get in the way.

Just my opinion......
 AManofAdventure
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 55
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:40:18 AM
in the "good old days" it was usually the standard that men married 10 year younger women on average. same age marriages were unusual.

Then there were some "unusual" matches in my family in the "good old days" all of which lasted in happy marriages of fifty odd years or more where the man was between three and eleven years younger than the woman in the match.

Just go with what I call the ten-ten rule or the fifteen-fifteen rule depending on how comfortable you are with the range and how broad of a pool you want to choose from. (Making whatever exceptions you want from that rule for particular individuals or circumstances.) That is ten up and ten down or fifteen up or fifteen down for either party involved as we all presumably see women as much more capable than just being "dependent on men" and "cranking out babies": two reasons why the "rule" from the "good old days" was to some extent what it was.

And (of course) if those number dip below the age of eighteen, then freeze the bottom number at eighteen.
 antykathera
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 56
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:15:00 PM
love doesnt care about age i hope not anyay im in a similar situation good luck
 amaritaly
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 57
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 10:24:11 PM
I have dated guys who are 10 years older than me.
 AManofAdventure
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 58
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:44:02 PM
Yeah I'm just wondering what other people are going to think, mentioned to a couple friends her age and they were saying "oh you should find someone older what are you thinking?" But it's not an issue with us and I don't notice her being young when together. And she's probably more mature than I am!

I have a good friend who is my age who is engaged to a girl who is at most twenty-three. That is a twelve year age difference there. I am sure there have been some snickers (I know at least one person who has) but they are quite evidently meant for one another.
 jackster121
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 59
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Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:22:08 PM
I was 8 yrs. older than my second wife and it lasted 16 loooong years. LOl 9 yrs. isn't too bad she'll be 61 when you are 70, that should work, provided you are together that long.
 someotherdude
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 60
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 11/26/2008 10:03:31 PM
I hope not my last "special friend" was 21 and I am 37.
 stealth122148
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 61
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:38:07 PM
My sister married a man 10 years younger than her.

They will soon be married 21 years.

They are happy and still enjoy each others company.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 62
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:00:26 PM
The love of my life was 9 years younger. It wasn't too much for either of us, in fact, it was never even discussed to any real degree, it just was. Too bad fate/destiny or whatever can be so cruel sometimes ~ I'd still be with him and he'd still be 9 years younger.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 63
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:25:41 PM
Better than my 13 yr age difference. I was married to someone 13 yrs older. I typically date guys 7-13 yrs older. Sometimes there is a bit of a gap in interests, but it's OK.
 riotdorque
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 64
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:15:37 AM
My first husband was 7 years my senior.

It really just depends on each person's maturity level.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 65
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:32:31 AM
for me that would make him either 35 or 53... (typing it out to see it in print so i can think more clearly, lol)

um... yeah, i think that'd be fine - as long as all the right reasons (compatibility/outlook/attitude/interests/etc) were in place

neither is young enough to be my child or my parent, so why not?
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 66
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/3/2009 7:48:28 AM
Let's see, the time tested rule of thumb is half the man's age plus seven years so 19+7=26. She is close enough at 29. My grandfather was 16 years older than my grandmother (35 and 19 when married), my father 7 years older than my mother (28 and 21 when married) and my son is 12 years older than his wife (33 and 21 when married). My grandparents were happily married until they died within a few months of one another. My parents and son and his wife are happily married.
 Bigrockinguy
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 68
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/4/2009 11:53:54 AM
My parents are 11 yrs apart in age,and have been married for 47 yrs this year,so no age shouldnt be a major factor,as long as you both love each other,and have at least some interests togther.
 Whodoguru
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 69
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:32:27 PM
The difference isn't so much the number as it is the attitude. My late wife & I were 12 years apart and married for 20 years.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 70
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/7/2009 4:32:08 PM
No

I dated a woman half my age and we got along famously.

I don't think age means a thing - it is the 'mind-set' or spirit the person has.
 thecheekychick
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 71
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/7/2009 5:24:24 PM
its totally ok... If she is done with school, then you two can work out!
 uniquelyordinary
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 72
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:45:40 PM
I just read a fellow’s profile where he stated the ideal age of the women men should date is “half your age plus seven”. He got this from a local radio talk show host whose demographic is 18 – 34 year old males. Said owner of profile is 54 looking for a 34 year old lady. Give or take a couple of years.

Me? I just can’t keep those 92 year olds from beating down my door!
 SensitiveRock
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 73
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/9/2009 9:28:11 PM
Same here ... piece of useless trivia from a Men's Mag. Starting at 22 years of age, the youngest lady a guy could date and still be seen as socially acceptable was half his age plus 7. I would like to see that social demographic. So at 22, acceptable is 18 (11+7) and for a lady of say 40, that would be a guy of 66. Not so sure.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 74
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:36:36 AM
Judging from the fact that I have had an ex who was 16 years older than me, yes age can make a difference.
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 75
Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:41:10 AM
it's only a problem if your bank account cannot satisfy her.
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