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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?      Home login  
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 Runs With Wolves
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 51
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Nice to see you come down off that machine of yours DocDirt...



Love that quote "come grow old with me, best is yet to be." (taking notes )
 RockysMtn
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 52
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:43:32 AM
I can't say that being afraid of dating at my age is the problem. The idea that in order to have a long term relationship means marriage, acceptance of an established family and friends is just more than I am willing to do at my age. I guess I have become very selfish. I already have kids and grand kids. I already have done years of that scene. Somehow I can't help but feel like a substitute in that setting. Why is it necessary to combine all aspects of two lifes? Does having a meaningfull relationship mean you have to be together 24/7? At my age I am ready to make new memories formed on a relationship between me and a woman. Just think how cool it would be to be able to have a refuge away from your kids and grand kids when you are able, yet still be able to be with them for those special events without haveing to explain or justify the man in your life. Oh well, guess I am just a fool to think that people ever become mature enough to except the good times without haveing the strings from the past control their every move.
 maree12
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 53
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/24/2006 2:41:19 AM
Bike, yeah, I can see singledom looming on the horizon, and it scares me. I can only say that you have to just take each meeting as a SEPARATE experience, and not expect it to morph into a relationship. A night out with a handful of different people can, at least, fill your evenings, and your diary so that you do not look like a sad loser who has to spend every night at home in front of the TV
 bikesnblues
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 54
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/24/2006 6:27:07 PM
Wow! I've been offline for a few weeks, and so surprised, AND pleased, to see such a response to my thread! This is not a response to one particular comment...I just couldn't figure out how to get back in. I appreciate the responses. It seems to me, just by skimming thru, that the ladies are somewhat more comfortable than the men are, with trying to meet someone after a long time of "singularity"! Is that because we guys get more set in our ways as we spend more time alone?
Again, I was surprised and pleased to see this still going! Thank you all!
 Runs With Wolves
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 55
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/24/2006 11:42:27 PM
Welcome back bike n blues
 leo52
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 56
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:22:13 AM
Hi folks, I'm so new to trying to even date, ever mind type messages
I was married for half my life and have dealt with being alone in the past 2 1/2 years. I think I might be ready to at least try to meet a man, friendship first. I am scared and so out of practise trying to meet someone new - I think it gets harder when we're older yet still sexy. lol!
 hopscotch
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 57
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:06:27 PM
to bikesnblues yes there are a lot of us that feel the same way how do you take that step a little further its nice to talk on here but to acually go out is so scary when you have been out of it for so long how do you let someone into that space i can't i always back out how come can someone tell me that i really do want someone in my life but how do i get them there lol
 Jersey Woman
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 58
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:20:53 PM
Remind yourself that the first date is just a date. Think of it as spending a little time with a potential friend, not a potential partner. That might take the pressure off. Just be sure that the lady is also on the friend level too and not already thinking about the seating chart for the wedding. I've found that meeting soon after beginning to email and phone is the way to go. It keeps expectations where they should be.
 ABGirlxo
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 59
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 5:35:29 PM
If your afraid of dating go to some of the PoF functions. Get your feet wet that way. No pressure and you meet nice normal people.
 99c
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 60
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 5:36:59 PM
What is there to be afraid of going on a date?
 salamander000
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 61
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 5:42:00 PM
I wouldn't worry too much unless he or she drools white foam, or bears excessive scar tissue.
 sunshine2tan
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 62
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 5:47:21 PM
I surely do not have a fear of meeting....I have a fear of getting the boot from pof for posting somehwere that I am not sposed to.....ya know age is weird....I look in the mirror and feel that "yes" that looks somewhat like me....oh I guess it is me....it happens to us all no matter what.....and I look at those young fellas and think...wow I would love to hang with them....but the reality is....just that....
 Widow96
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 63
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 5:57:35 PM
In all fairness, are not we all "sizing each other up"? It's difficult at best to find two people that can get along in any kind of a relationship. Especially an intimate one. It's hard to find two people that click, and it takes time and lots of meets to do that. Don't be afraid of that process. If you don't do it, you certainly won't find a significant other!
 sunshine2tan
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 64
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:14:31 PM
I am never afraid to meet in person and I actually love it...to find a new friend is awesome....however.....I am "sized up" and deleted often......so I have decided to chat a bit more online before meeting in person...yah right....as if that will make a difference
 bcgal5
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 65
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:37:40 PM
Just finished reading some responses and actually got some good info for myself from all of them, as another over 45, alone for 13 years and darn afraid of that first step into the "dating scene". I have been to chat rooms and got the whole sex thing from guys I just wanted a decent conversation with. Why cant people just get together and see if they have the same interests and click? Like some others here, I sent out some "hellos" to show I am here but most didnt even respond and one wanted me and my friend to rent a campsite lol.
I dont want to give up and although fear is always going to be there as it is whenever there is a new adventure...I am ready and shaking for that first "date", get together,walk,coffee,or email.I just wish some people were more respectful thats all, its hard enough to put yourself out there and then be dissed by someone you dont even know. Good luck to all those 1st timers setting out for an adventure
 99c
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 66
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:46:51 PM
Excuse me for the way this has to sound, but I have been online for many years, since the first DOS browser, Gopher, made at the U of M. All it did was let you connect to a computer, search a directory and download a file. There were no web pages. I mention this as the starting point of Internet culture.

Before computers became relatively affordable, the people you met online were either professionals or students. Chat was congenial and respectful. Web pages were usually tasteful. But when the price dropped and computers became a fixture in every home, the Internet turned into a hunting ground for perverts to find their next target, victim or conquest. Now when you go to chat, chances are better than 50-50 the guy has his pants off and is typing with one hand.

You would hope people act at least as well online as they do in public, but this is not at all the case. The point is, it is practical to adjust your expectations, unfortunately, and take it for granted that chatting online is not a very good way to meet people. Think of it like going to the worst part of a big city and hanging out in a dive bar. That's about the size of it.

To find more respectable people online you can go to specialty chat rooms, and forums, where the registration process and the site policies discourage sexual play.
 sunshine2tan
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 67
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:52:54 PM
not afraid no.....but I know that there are many missing out when they physically prejudge me....and that is so funny....20 pounds ago.....and a work in progress....when I get to the point where I am in the shape I wish to be and healthy.....I just might just tell most then that show interest.....shove off....LOL
 margoe
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 68
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 7:26:26 PM
i think jerseygirl has the right advice-meet soon after you make contact- or at least talk on the phone. i've learned quite a bit from phone conversations , that I otherwise wouldn't get on the web. At my age , you learn to 'read ' a perosn bretty good by a phone call. Caught a few "phonies".
 sunshine2tan
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 69
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/25/2006 8:56:21 PM
bcgal we are on he same page.....any decent guys out there?
 LadyBlue3344
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 70
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/27/2006 1:47:49 PM
Hi Lostagain .... I Love your hair ... I have long hair as well and am in the middle of trying to decide weather to let it go grey .... or just stick with My natural red .... well it was natural when I was younger ... lol LadyBlue
 Tansi
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 71
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/29/2006 8:35:43 AM
"teebee" I tried to message to thank you personally for the kind words but your mail settings wouldn't accept.
It's not that I am afraid of the dating thing. It's that if I had a photo that looked more flattering some may actually go the profile. I'm a happy girl and it's because I stick my neck out. For all the disappointments I have had on here, I have had way more giggles. For the upsets and rejections in the real dating world, I have many more friends from taking the chance. Step out of your comfort zone, take a deep breath and do it. You can do it , you can do it.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 72
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/29/2006 8:41:37 AM
We all need to step out of our comfort zone at times in order to grow........

Just my opinion....
 starr236
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 73
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/29/2006 2:48:31 PM
I think you are absolutly right . As you get older, you get wiser and sometimes not a fun It was hard as a young teen thinking about rejection but now OHhhhh. But I have come to the conclusion Love yourself and be happy with who you are and you will be amazed how people react
 tkhoyt
Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 74
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well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/29/2006 8:15:45 PM
I know just what you mean. I've been going though that " what am I doing" thing. I was married for almost 34 years and I am petrified at the prospect of throwing myself out there again. There are so many ladies I would like to meet but as of yet I have had trouble breaking the ice. I know that if they just gave themselves a chance to talk to me, they would find I am interesting, funny and can be very romantic. The thing I hate is the "no reply" s@#t.
It feels like a put down. Besides that, It's f$%king rude.
 Tansi
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 75
well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:07:52 PM
Can't help but agree that it's rude. But you can take heart in the fact that "they" aren't getting resonses from some of the people they want them from either. So neener neener
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > well over 45, and and afraid of the dating game?