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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)      Home login  
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 Ailed
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 26
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have tried another dating service, and have found that it is with Internet dating similar difficult to find someone sincere enough to built a relationship. I wonder, if there is anyone out there for me. I am a bit disappointed. I have signed up here because it is free and I have nothing to lose.
I would like to know the percentage of successrate of people signing up with Internet dating services finding a long-term partner.
Where is my soulmate??????
 Magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 27
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 1:33:54 PM
Look at the bright side, Ted.

Things will keep getting better for you. Differential sexual mortality means that as we men age, our male cohort is dropping like flies. The sex ratio shrinks as the years pass. If you can wait, the women will come to you. Supply and demand will find lesser supply of men, and higher demand for them, which bids up the price.

Finding the right one will always be a challenge, but it should be getting easier, not harder.
 RapunzelRapunzel
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 28
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 2:11:04 PM
Good gosh-a-mighty! You better invest in one of those "Now Serving" number tab thingies like at the butcher shop, lol. Darlin' don't worry, you won't have much trouble getting nibbles.

Great pics by the way. Daaaaaang, next time I go to Vegas I might just STAY in Vegas, hee hee.

Ok, ok I'll be good. Honestly . . . I only had one successful internet meet in my life and the relationship lasted three years. Twas long distance, too. I've gone out with maybe four people from here, and another ten or so from other sites in the last three years. Just not much luck. No one's fault but just no click. What is odd is I don't tend to stay friends with them despite this, while I still correspond and even get together (not sexually) with boyfriends from as much as 20 years ago! Some people on the net seem to want to hop from one person to another for the next best thing, and if you can't serve that purpose then you aren't worthy of even friendship. Note I said "some." A week or so ago there was a thread here pondering the validity of a face to face connection vs the net, and I really am starting to think there is something to the fact that a person you meet in the "real" world is more likely to . . . well, I won't say connect, but at least attract or repel you on a level you can analyze and move from there on. Geesh, could that sentence BE anymore confusing, lol? What I mean is when I meet someone in person I know from the get-go if I am attracted to them, and I can read certain signals. Even if they end up not being perfect, or even for me, I can at least feel they've been straight up. An internet deal can lead you on for days and weeks before you know that, and the disappointment, if it occurs, is acute. People on the net also tend to be a bit more weird (sorry, ya'll gotta agree with me here, huh?) and that is why I don't maintain friendships with them. Has little to do with the physical, everything to do with them being quite bizarre, or more often RUDE!

So good luck, brave soldier! You will "meet" some great ladies here. I can't vouch for what they will be "in the flesh."

Rap
 galaxy-drifter
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 29
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:13:28 PM

." A week or so ago there was a thread here pondering the validity of a face to face connection vs the net, and I really am starting to think there is something to the fact that a person you meet in the "real" world is more likely to . . . well, I won't say connect, but at least attract or repel you on a level you can analyze and move from there on.


I would agree with the face-to-face comment. I for one am somewhat new on this web dating fiasco. But I have never had so many doors closed so fast in my life. Sorry to here, but somewhat comforting that’s it’s not just the guys that struggle on these web sites. I will admit that the web is no grocery store or Wal-Mart between 10 and 2 on Saturday. No one goes to clubs anymore. So Guess I’ll go to check out the cruise ships. Like soon!!

Sometime it appears a person is seeking the new model, no ageing what so ever, but with the experience of a lifetime, and lets not forget MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Mr. perfect, I cannot even believe my self that any guy could live up to some of these, wants, /demands.
At least in real life you have a chance to display charm, and flirt a little. The eye contact tells a lot if they are going to be a little bit of interested. But to ask most guys to express themselves in writing, whom are we trying to kid. Now the ladies are way much better at this, guess that what we get for not reading all those romance novels.
 RapunzelRapunzel
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 30
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:54:11 PM
I would agree with the face-to-face comment. I for one am somewhat new on this web dating fiasco. But I have never had so many doors closed so fast in my life. Sorry to here, but somewhat comforting that’s it’s not just the guys that struggle on these web sites. I will admit that the web is no grocery store or Wal-Mart between 10 and 2 on Saturday. No one goes to clubs anymore. So Guess I’ll go to check out the cruise ships. Like soon!!

Sometime it appears a person is seeking the new model, no ageing what so ever, but with the experience of a lifetime, and lets not forget MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Mr. perfect, I cannot even believe my self that any guy could live up to some of these, wants, /demands.
At least in real life you have a chance to display charm, and flirt a little. The eye contact tells a lot if they are going to be a little bit of interested. But to ask most guys to express themselves in writing, whom are we trying to kid. Now the ladies are way much better at this, guess that what we get for not reading all those romance novels.


Trust a Bama boy to exhibit such grassroots insight. Frankly though, I DO find the internet to be a veritable playground of the great unwashed. I have never encountered such rude, low class men in my life, and hey, I was raised just two hippity skips from sharecroppers so it ain't like I'm some snob when it comes to the working class. Has nuthin' to do with that. Professors, waiters, garbage men, candle stick makers . . . they all have their moments. In the words of a fellow Over-45er, "I don't want to get off on a rant here but..." the stand-up, cell-phone blocking, passive-aggressive "this is your fault" shenanigans of the over 30 set have boggled my mind. It's like, "C'mon, join our high school games!" Have you menfolk found it to be so with women? If so I am heartily ashamed of our sex.

Truthfully if a man can at least spell he doesn't have to write a romance novel to me, in fact if his words are too flowery they seem waaaaay rehearsed, or borrowed. Fortunately I make my own money, so that isn't a major factor either, but don't expect me to buy you beer while you dodge child support, lol. But with the net men seem to be looking for Pamela Anderson with her own yacht, lol. If we don't idolize them and want to have their babies, and let them tell us what to do every second of the day, and show up looking like a twig in designer clothes . . .we somehow don't measure up.

Then again, I could be wrong, I don't know.

Rap
 galaxy-drifter
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 31
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 4:05:37 PM
Now this is getting Funny!!!

Or has it been all along!!


And let me say I meant no offence to anyone, no did I have anyone in mind. there are some really sweet ladies on this site. Now my bases are covered and I'm out again darn!
 RapunzelRapunzel
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 32
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 4:15:36 PM
No, no, no, you are not getting off that easy.

Tell your horror stories.

Ted needs to know. It is your cyber-civic duty.
 maree12
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 33
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/15/2006 5:07:12 PM
I am now 48, and just going back into the dating game after 10 years with someone who was my soulmate for the first three of them. Certainly online dating is easy, you just sit on your a##e and rummage through the eligible men, but, because the NET is world wide, you discover that your soulmate does not just live in the next suburb, the next state, but in another country.
I met my last man (the perfect man, so how will someone else ever measure up?) through a Singles magazine, and when he originally wrote to me, I saw that he lived a good 20 miles away from me, so I thought, not a hope there, but I replied, and it worked out.
It is much better to look in the "Friends Seeking Friends" columns in your local newspaper, you have a better chance of actually meeting then, because, it seems like, to me, that no one wants to spend an hour travelling to meet someone who they consider might be totally unsuitable (in looks mostly).
I never met any of my previous relationships through a chance meeting at a party, club, or dance.
 artfuldodger00
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 34
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/17/2006 11:22:09 PM
hey gang ,
let me just say this about that.... first : hey there .. here kitty if all older women looked as good as you there would not be a problem !!!..hell id even try a few of the old lines out on you if i could remember any????. and second : is it me or do women seem to get older sooner . i mean women in general look much older than guys the same age . honestly some are just plain shot out looking. now please im just being honest . dont bomb me with emails that implicate me in some terrorest plot to undermine all women. but really the ones ive seen at 35 look 50 and at 45 look 65 .i hope this has just been my perception . this has been going on for some time now . course i did do some mind altering substances as a young lad maybe i......... what were we talking about again????? where am i.....? p.o.f. what the hell is that?????
 charlie_girl
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 35
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:05:03 AM
I enjoy meeting people both on and off the internet, with both presenting different and similar challenges. I do agree however, that this is the easiest way with more to choose from. I do not agree, as someone else mentioned, that one should not show their photo. Nor do I agree that a couple sincerely interested in getting to know each other better, should email for 2 months! Two or three emails and couple of phone calls should answer all questions, enough at least, before taking the meeting. I'm here to meet someone, not to have an email buddy.




off topic:

artfuldodger:

..is it me or do women seem to get older sooner . i mean women in general look much older than guys the same age . honestly some are just plain shot out looking. now please im just being honest . dont bomb me with emails that implicate me in some terrorest plot to undermine all women. but really the ones ive seen at 35 look 50 and at 45 look 65 .i hope this has just been my perception . this has been going on for some time now ...


Yes, it's you... your perception. And seemingly, in my opinion, a narrow one.
 magicfingers1
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 36
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/22/2006 2:20:04 PM
Days of whine and roses..........or...where is the love?
I wonder if the staff ........at any of these online dating sites...... actually take the time to read what the actual customers say amongst themselves...I would be willing to BET... they don't!..and if they do it is just "the way it is"..is the common attitude! To a degree, this is true, but most of the sites are structured in such a way that it lends itself to alienation and deception.

Take for instance all the ridiculous screenames that are used....either they are significant , or they are not!. Then silly profile question like...... Turn-ons?-.... Turn-offs?.....my ideal first date?!.. (Can you say junior-high)?............. But back to the user forums.........The ratio of men to women is hotly debated ........but ranges from 6 to 1.. to ...20 to 1! ..........All the men are crying about either total lack of response from the women they e-mail, or they complain about not getting anyone to meet with them in the "real" world.

Here is a list of actual excuses posted by anonymous visitors to a popular free dating site.

no time...funeral just came up...having surgery...recovering from surgery...appointments...business meetings...relative had baby...have a job...going to the gym...looking after grandma...looking after relatives baby...phone out of order...scared...emotional distress...seeing friends with benefits...can't bring the dog...no cash...too far...too tired...can't make up mind...personal crisis...will meet in future...too soon.... you deserve someone better...and............... (last but not least..i couldn't make this up!) the dog ............ate my car!
 charlie_girl
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 37
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/23/2006 3:57:48 PM
Speak for yourself.

As for me, I believe that it ain't over until it's over, and until that time actually does come, I plan on enjoying life's banquet.
 PrettyWoman1952
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 38
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/23/2006 4:03:22 PM
tedsme: I certainly wish you well. You are a very attractive man and seem to have your head on straight. I'd certainly enjoy your company! Kathy
 JA of OC
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 39
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:47:31 PM
The older we get, the smarter we are (hopefully) and yes, this does narrow our choices. For me, I see what I failed to avoid in the past rather quickly.
 3rd rate
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 40
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:56:19 PM
It's not only challenging, it's impossible outright. The best that can be hoped for is to be initially mistaken for someone better, enjoying what few sparks can be had from a well worn stone and a smither of flint. Then, cold rushes back all a round like water drowns a man.
 classact504
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 41
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:51:43 PM
I think dating at 49 is even more fun then when I was younger. Maybe I am just not as uptight about the whole dating scene as I was when I was younger.

What hasn't changed as that most men want to talk about sex after one date. Sorry but if I have to sleep with you to get a second or third date you are too shallow for me.
 cdn_guy
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 42
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:01:48 PM

For me, I see what I failed to avoid in the past rather quickly.


Dunno, maybe it's just me ... but I think that sentence should be sitting in a book of quotations, somewhere. Good work, ja of oc

cdn guy
 southgatez1
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 43
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:28:43 PM
Hey
all I can say from my experience is GOOD LUCK!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 44
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/9/2006 10:16:54 PM
...Indeed it is. You'd think as we mature it would get easier, we would have perfected this whole dating thing....not so. I've been out of the dating arena for too many years to mention and things have changed. Theres all these rules and books and talk shows....when to call, how long to wait, who should do the pursuing, its gets complicted. It doesn't help when you've been brought up from the old school, things are done differently today. Look where I am, happily tapping away on my computer hoping to meet my match. How crazy is that? If someone told me 10 years ago that I would be on a dating site .........


...maeflowers
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 45
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:52:06 AM
You are a very confusing man. In your post you say that under 30 is too young for you, but in your profile you say you are looking for women between the ages of 22 and 52.
 beachesofnc
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 46
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/10/2006 7:13:02 AM
Hey tedsme...did anybody ever tell ya you look like "Tool Man Tim"? I always thought he was hot ! Anyway, I hope you're not into this internet thing seriously looking for the love of your life; you'll be disappointed. Rather, come into the forums, chat a bit and look at it with the attitude of making new friends and getting to know people. I have learned to keep my expectations low and that way I'm not as disappointed as often. I have talked to some great people and made some pretty decent friends; but as of yet, I haven't found "the one". Good luck to ya !
 horselady48
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 47
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/10/2006 12:44:43 PM

If someone told me 10 years ago that I would be on a dating site .........


I couldn't agree more. I got talked into this by some friends because I was a workaholic & not getting out to meet people. That's all changed now. I'm dating & it's definitely CHALLENGING but a necessary means to an end
 b_michael
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 48
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:53:30 PM
What if...
Now that we are older, we are set in our ways.
We are less willing to compromise on what we are willing to accept in a mate.
We have a hard time picturing ourselves with someone else afte X years with another.
We compare any new person with our idealized ideal mate.
Our idealized ideal mate doesn't exist.
What then....???
Do we grow old alone? Do we finally realize at somepoint that someone is better than no one? I've got questions, who's got answers?
 cdn_guy
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 49
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:52:29 AM
Wise words, greeneyedlady -- and so nice to see you back posting again and stopping by to visit us here. I couldn't agree with you more. I fumbled my way through words something to that affect when I wrote out my profile. Let's just get together, like a couple of friends would get together ... pick a place to meet, both people bringing a few ideas on what to do to the table and see what happens. The first date to me (and geez, it almost feels intimidating calling it that) ... the first date is just a continuation of getting to know the person. The friendship has usually already been established through e-mails, phone calls, and the like and getting together in person is just the next step. I have no problem (really) with going to a concert together if that's what my 'date' really wants to do, but mostly I'm there to meet her and to talk with her and in venues where the 'house' entertainment takes centre-stage, this is often difficult. So I say, let's just put us both together in the same spot at the same time, each with a few ideas on what to do and let's see what happens. If there's a chemistry thing going to happen, we'll have no trouble finding something pleasant to do.

cdn guy
 Halfevl333
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 50
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:07:54 AM
Well I have had a lot of luck meeting nice women near my age here. Have a ton of female friends..unfortunately they live across the country in one direction or another... There are some very nice ladies here..just have to either let them come to you or you find them...

You are a nice looking guy so should have far less trouble getting women than I did..

Good luck

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