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 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 28
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
darkm.
i have enjoyed some of the things you have said alot about the alpha male triats, but have not agreed with all you have said.

i am not feeling very sharp today, but what i was trying to point out when using the word whore was that so many women market themselves to men in such a sexual way because that is what society basically tells us to do. so why are we so confused when we are treated disrepectfully because men are told they don't have to respect a whore.

everyday we are bombarded by companies trying to sell us products based on our insecurities (how to be prettier, skinnier, bustier, sexier, better in bed, hotter than her...) and if that isn't bad enough, some rock and rap music really promotes that a womans worth is all about her sexualness and nothing else. i mean i have seen bits of the videos... it's nothing but tits and ass everywhere, like a herum, all waiting to serve "him".
hey, i know that is a guys fantasy and that is fine...and a womans fantasy is about the knight in shining armor...and we all have all of these images swimming around in our minds all at once....
it's all quite unreal...and so are alot of our expectations.

it seems like women resent being treated like a sex object, but at the same time promote it ...
(which could possibly tangent off into a discussion about power and control issues really easy)
men hate being the bad guy, but are also sick of kissing major ass to get some of what they mostly want.
lol
i think i am in a fairly cynical mood today.
lol

all i know is there are alot of mixed messeges from both genders going on.
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 29
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/13/2007 4:01:09 PM
i for one don't enjoy taking care of my kids by myself, i feel like my ex left me in the trenches and went on a pleasure cruise.
lol
but at the same time i knew he was making a big mistake that he would regret too, and he does, but he didn't figure it out untill way later and it was too late for us than.

when i date, i feel i am lucky if i meet a guy who is half way decent to me. trying to think about meeting a guy that i like that would be willing to relate to/parent/be a good male role model for my kids, and be an asset to their lives is such an overwhelming proposition...
really, it scares me to trust someone that much.

i've dated all types of guys and the so called together ones weren't any more respectful to me than the stranger guys i seem to have more of an attraction to.
i look for a good heart and soul and mind.
someone who's views on love and respect are similar to mine.
been fooled alot too.


 ace76
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 30
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/13/2007 6:43:45 PM
Sorry, but women DESTROYED chivalry.

Ever since our youth women have scoffed at, turned your noses up and have been offended by us opening doors and doing all of these niceties we went out of our ways for you.

Not to mention, women who did enjoy them, tended to run after the men who ignored them and treated them terribly, so it seems bad all around to do anything remotely resembling it.

You did it to yourselves, ladies.

You didn't want it, so you don't have it.
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 31
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/13/2007 9:18:01 PM
sad story sparticuss

tv and internet needs to die.
this is how people are being fed the info that is causing them to become so freaking neurotic, paranoid, and crazy.
it's all subjects too.
i personally can't stand the whole germ-a-phobic trip...and it's all to sell pesticides which aren't good for the palnet and create super germs instead...
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 32
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:47:01 PM
i'm surprised that last post didn't get all sorts of flack.

i personally think it is quite beautiful when a man can be truely vulnerable with me.
letting down our guards and putting away our power trips is a big part of what true love means to me.
i mean, the word power can be looked at so many different ways.
in some sense, nobody should ever give up their personal power.
mutual respect..that is what so many have said on here.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 33
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:05:50 PM
Honestly....

Women happened to committment and chivalry..

All these women gripe about how they want a man who is chiverlous and honorable and respectful.. (not to say anyone in particular or anyone in this thread) but are they??

Traditionally..women where chased..dated..courted..

Women had no means of getting around unless a man picked them up and took them out..

No man laid a hand on a women until vows were spoken (or at least it was never spoken of if it did happen) other then to kiss them..

Now women are independant..we are able to get around on our own, work, buy a home and rent our very own dates..just as men are.. So what's a man to do??

He SHOULD still practice chivalry..it is not a dead art...

WOMEN should expect it and should react accordingly...

If a man opens a door, smile and thank him...that's all he wants.. (really..thats it!)

Be honest..as should he..

Treat him how you want to be treated...

All things are equal now..or so it's claimed..


If that is true all we have left is to judge each other based on who we are and how we treat each other..

Chivarly is more important now then it ever was...

WOMEN should understand that..and thank a man when he is nice to them..

If a man is not acting in an honorable fashion and you stick around..that is no longer his fault it is YOURS..you allow it..

Don't allow it and it will change..or he will move on..

As i've posted in other threads..

Some things should remain traditional..

Dating is one of em..
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 34
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/16/2007 2:49:22 AM
You got to understand. A$$holes like conquest, a hooker or escort service girl isn't a challenge, they like to prey on girls who have some sort of values and devalues them, that's an A$$holes goal in life.
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 35
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/16/2007 3:08:30 AM
It is pretty bad when the president of the country is a lying jerk, selling us out for political power, with no respect or regard for any of us.

Men are just following in the footsteps set by the popular men, the old playboy guy, yuk, and the old fat bald guy with the twinkie on his arm, movies, music videos, commercials, and such.

It must be very confusing to men and women now that the roles for relationships are so blurred, the man is no longer the head of the house, sole provider, competing in the workplace for jobs, (not only women, but other countries) must bring on fear, fear makes people act differently. they may resent women, yet women were forced into the work place during war and continued to work to help get the family further ahead. It may have all sorts of reasons, no respectable leadership, no good role modles.. think, we pay sports stars and actors millions while teachers make next to nothing, the man that discovered that the earth was moving off its axis and it would cause a cold snap that would end civilization, and designed a lasor that fixed it, makes 40k a year!!!! IT is messed up for sure.

I still use my manners, I am proud to be ethical and honest in an industry filled with crooks and liars, I am proud that I am kind, and good and have recently decided to stop racing the rats, i dont care what color the grass is, nor what the jones have and am designing a lifestyle that brings all of the goodness and beauty in and leaves the greed and envy out.

brainwashing can work both ways...I rebel against the society the way it is...

I wont date a illmannered "gentleman" that askes my chest size in the first conversation, I just block them. If they get the message, great, if not, there are.... Plenty of fish....
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 36
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/16/2007 3:22:14 AM

IMHO women don't respect chilvary. I lot of women say that they want it, but in reality, when they get it, they don't appreciate or cherish it. Women have forgotten how to be submissive. Too many women want to be head of the household. When you have a God fearing man and he lives his life according to God's will, then as a good woman, you should submit to him and allow him to be the man of the house. Now the man is suppose to love that woman as he loves himself. But with so many women scorned, they have the attitude that they are not going to allow this man to abuse them like the others. So it becomes a domino effect, with neither wanting to give. If we all would go into a new relationship with a clean slate, not caring around the pain and anger from the past; chivalry would not be dead.


WRONG... God's will states clearly how a man and a woman are to live together, as a team, with love, respect, kindness and a wife is to be the same.

Dont blame women for being scorned by all of the dishonest abusive men, they are hurt, looking for the man described in the bible. Both want to give, but if a man starts swinging his "I am the man, do what I say, NOW" bs, it ruins it, but if the man would just realize that he is the man of the household...(definitions are most likely different here) and be sweet and a true partner without being abusive, there would be no need for the woman to feel that she is not going to allow this one to abuse her too.

I do like what you say about the clean slate, and agree totally. I just feel a lot of men may take the "man of the house" role a bit far and think it means boss, one who decides all things, his word is law, and woman must do everything he wants and says, that is just not at all what the bible says or means....
you know?
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 37
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/16/2007 3:35:02 AM
yea sure, if you did any of those things you would be a better person instead of coming across as a sarcastic liar... that thinks by going so far to the extreme, it makes rudeness, lying acceptable?? Is that your message??
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 38
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/17/2007 8:07:34 PM
pelandor
i think you speak a big truth there.
this does not apply to all men and all women of course, but i agree that the behavior you describe is the overwhelming trait in most women ages 15-30, and has been for at least 50 years.

i think historically speaking tho, women have been treated very shabby tho.

it's just kind of sad really.
humans on power trips can just be so unkind.
this is why, and it has been said often in this thread that respect and decency to all really is more vital than ever.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 40
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/19/2007 8:55:12 AM

(Msg 139) most women are absolute pigs- truly they are-


And they say men are pigs, too. Hmmm, does this mean maybe, just maybe, we're finally getting together?

Hey, that reminds me of an old, old song. Remember this one? It's by Friend and Lover
It's called Reach out in the Darkness.

I think it's so groovy now
That people are finally getting together
I thinks it's wonderful and how
That people are finally getting together

Reach out in the darkness
Reach out in the darkness
Reach out in the darkness
And you may find a friend

I knew a man that I did not care for
And then one day this man gave me a call
We sat and talked about things on our mind
And now this man he is a friend of mine

Reach out in the darkness
Reach out in the darkness
Reach out in the darkness
And you may find a friend

I think it's so groovy now
That people are finally getting together
I thinks it's wonderful and how
That people are finally getting together

Don't be afraid of love
(Don't be afraid) don't be afraid
Don't be afraid to love
(Listen to me)
Everybody needs a little love
Everybody needs somebody
That they can be thinking of
So reach out

Reach out in the darkness
Reach out in the darkness
Reach out in the darkness
And you may find a friend

I think it's so groovy now
That people are finally getting together
I thinks it's wonderful and how........
(http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061209151228AATmjY7)
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 41
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/19/2007 10:45:47 AM
i love that song! and i love that attitude.

we're all different,with all sorts of thoughts going through our minds at any given time, and so i try hard to remember to give people the benefit of the doubt and to not think the worst of them if there has been some strange or unpleasant interaction between us.
i learned to be much more compassionate and respectful of others when i put myself in their shoes.

manners, politeness, decency...to any and everyone...it's good for the heart.
everyone here has been hurt or disappointed by someone, but it is our own choice what we choose to do with those feelings...turn them into bitterness, or learn from it all which keeps the heart open and loving and kind.
 JMars
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 42
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/19/2007 1:44:07 PM
Commitment went out the window when our soceities began to emphasize the individual good over the collective good.

As for chivalry being dead and women women killing it; guys, the code of chivalry was born out of the preChristian warrior ethic of the peoples of NW Europe. It was about how men should behave, formulated by men for men, and geared to earning the respect of one's fellow man. Women were never central to it. They crept into it as a result of being the physically weaker sex, and the code of chivalry demands that the strong protect the weak.

If anything killed chivalry, it was men allowing women to define and validate their sense of their own manhood.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 44
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/20/2007 10:56:21 AM
I recently spent time with my son and his girlfriend. He turned 21 a few days ago. He spent most of his evening ~ opening doors, pulling out chairs, getting drinks and basically ~ making sure his girlfriend and myself were having a good time. I guess that chivalry is alive, if it was taught and appreciated in return. I am a little stunned when I meet men my age or older who simply have no clue about the little things that some of us have taught our sons.

I don't know who's to blame, but for me, I am chivalrous and I want that returned. If he can't walk beside me into an establishment, if he doesn't feel the need to hold the door open to that establishment, I don't feel the need to see him again. I don't care about car doors, or pulling out my chair, but I WILL NOT follow some man ~ no matter where we are. When he forgets to treat me like a lady, I forget to answer my phone.
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 46
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:02:23 PM
This is what happened with committment and chivalry...

1. Women in many cultures wanted to break away from what they preceived as male domination/determined roles (which some of them were and should be dealt away with while some still upheld).
2. Too many men used these concepts as weapons of control and a means to justify their less than honorable and honest actions.
3. Women who believe that they are independent and to second guess every action of the male portion of the society, has forced men to adapt to a if you want to be equal with us, you will be equal all the way (and I agree, and it is also the natural evolution of society as we move away from the sensibilities of the old in order to justify and qualify the foolishness we stand for today).

To be honest with you, that second sentence is far from true. You can be very chivalrous and all those things above and still be wild and crazy. If you don't think so...Try having a romantic lunch in a secluded field and then seduce her into making love to you right there on the blanket in the middle of broad daylight during the meal. Or better yet, take her to a fancy restaurant and then in the middle of the meal, and then before desert, tell ask her where you two should met after giving her a hot kiss and firm groping. Chivalrous does not mean virginal, I am rogue and knight rolled into one.
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 47
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What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:03:07 PM
jmars
#142
amazing post.
calm, direct, and probably the real truth of the matter.
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 48
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/22/2007 3:26:08 AM
Oh my god! Just stopped laughing. Are you serious.

Guys don't cheat. One and a half times as many women sheat as do the guys. And a full 80% of all divorces are instigated by the wives, 10% by the guys and 10% by mutual agreement.
So forget this business about guys cheating. It's nothing more than an old spinsters tale which has gotten all the soft headed girls paronoid about cheaters.

Respect is something that is earned. It doesn't come automatically just because you happen to be female. The female junkie, who gives her one year old son heorin shots, so he'll sleep all night, while she goes out on the town. (Fact. Not hypothetical) Do you really think a girl like THAT deserves any respect at all? She thinks she does!

Let MEEE tell you about a little thing called chiviarily. The real thing I mean. Not the Hollywood version.

Chivialry was a code of violence, concocted by some of the most barbaric of the crusader knights. Most of these knights were actually criminal gangs in western Europe and the Kings wanted to get rid of them but didn't have the armies to do so.

They fobbed them off onto the holy land by getting the Pope to promise them absoloution for all their sins if they died on crusade.
The code of chivalry involved raping and murdering only Muslim women and only raping Christian ones. And even then, only raping married Christain women. It was a papal code to try to justify mass murder, rape and canibalism. On a few occasions Muslim babies were spit roasted and eaten..
 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 49
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/4/2008 5:51:56 PM
WOW, I only got as far as the first POST on this...and yes it does still exist. I married one and they are far most sexier than any of the " new age men" I am sooooooo disenchanted with what is considered relationships, love etc now days..and I am not from the dark ages. I strongly admire men that know how to be a man. My son is 29 years old makes me one of the proudest mama's alive. He is respectful, takes the man's role......and treats his wife the way a woman should be treated.........takes the leadership.great dad..... Is he a dud.no ...cute as all get out, and an E-8 in the Army........ etc. But he has been taught to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Even religion aside, any man that treats his lady with respect and puts her first will find that she does the same and the rewards are awesome. There are exceptions as always....but the reson I have seen most relationships fail is one persons selfishness and unwilling to give of themselves..only a taker.
I have definitely been hurt by them ...takers.......but they hold no reflection on the kind of person I am. God help me if I ever forget how to do unto others as I WOULD have them do unto me. I think Chivalry is NOT DEAD !!!!!!!!!!!
 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 53
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/4/2008 8:45:15 PM
"What a turn off... The bible says men should look for a woman who works hard with her hands... IE::: not helpless. A woman that expect such amenmities is a user. And shoot.. why can't she pay for my meal :) lol. how sexist.'


I don't think all women think of chivalry as being taken care of like that. I worked very "hard" with my hands, my heart, .....all of me......but I also knew that literally my husband would have laid down his life for me and I for him. Those were never just words to either of us. We preferred each other over everyone else. I had an operation 11 years ago, and no nurse could have ever been as good to me as he was.
He was sick for several years before he died, and I took care of him 24/7. Was it hard and exhausting , yes,,,,,,,,,,did I ever regret one minute of it.........only wish God had allowed me take care of him much longer.
Many times because he could see the toll it was taking on me.he said it would be OK to put him in a facility where he could be taken care of and make it easier for me. My answer was always...not as long as I breathe.
Even when he was at his weakest and using a walker or a in a wheelchair..........he either still wanted to open the door for me, hit the handi-cap tab for the door to open to allow me to go in first. I didn't and usually had to stand behind him with the walker to make sure he didn't fall backwards. He
He would never in all our years together let me walk on the outside of the sidewalk.........it was his job to be my protector.
I actually used to always tell him I could things myself, that I didn't require to be protected like a child. He always told me, I didn't need to be, but it was an honor for him to be able to. After that, I never questioned why.
Even the last time he left our home, I was very ill and going thru a lot of tests, he could hardly move and insisted that he stay there to take care of ME in case I needed him. His son took him home for a few days, he ended up in the hospital because he fell. As sick as I was, I went to the hospital, sat with him through-out the whole time before he died on our anniversary. I was sometimes so weary I could hardly stand up, but I was there. If I even left to go to the bathroom..he kept begging the nurses to find "his baby".
Just before he died his son brought me flowers in that my husband had ordered that day for our anniversary. Til the very end...........he put me first.
He was no weak man in any sense. He was a Union President three times, former AAA ballplayer, most stubborn, bull -headed man I ever knew. He would give you the shirt off his back.....but try to take it..and you got it in bloody shreds. Anything he believed in , he stuck to.
Still his priorities were straight where his wife, his help- mate were concerned.
He was from the south which might explain some of his feelings toward how to treat a lady, but geography really has little to do with how a man is inside. One of the things that always amazed my friends and family was that he spoke so highly of me even when I wasn't around. Even when we were arguing........he kept it our own private "dirty laundry".
I have a pretty intimidating profile up,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but I have done that to eliminate a lot of men that only want to waste my time and their own. I am not looking for another " him"......but I sure am not looking for a cheap imitaion.
Chivalry is still alive and well, and us over fifty.........we remember.........and most of us are not willing to "settle"
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 57
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/5/2008 12:03:28 AM
Wow...thanks for the write up OP....I've often wondered that myself. As for Tungsten's comments...it's not about the modern woman needing to be treated on equal ground...men just aren't expected to do ALL the work anymore...now it can be about about both parties equally treating each other with utmost respect, consideration and not to mention pampering ;)
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 60
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:55:22 AM

Chivalry has nothing to do with independence. I am a independant woman, I don't need anyone to take care of me. However I love when a man opens the door for me, pulls out my chair, and treats me with respect.


Very well said!! And for the man a few posts above who commented about a woman treating him to a meal once in a while; Been there done that and i have noooo problem doing that! A woman can still be independant but still would LOVE a chivalrous man. I know i would.
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 61
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:11:13 AM
I think that it has to do with how societies have evolved. Chivalry had nothing to do with being a good person so much as society at least in the US and albeit in other countries were more influenced by institutional and government constraints.

Companies had pension plans that you were vested in after a period of time. These plans had to do with the times that offered less choices and were restrictive. There was no such thing as moving your IRA from one company to the next. Annuities that were not fixed were the popular choice at that time which penalized you if you adjusted your plan. And people were taught in generation that you go and work for a employer for thirty years and do retirement for that same company. This seemed to be similar to the initial idea of marriage.

You obtained property a wife who had no choices rights or privileges aside from her duties as a wife and to her husband. Her viewpoint and perspective were short sighted with no career or to assume interest of her own aside from her duties as a wife or mom. And I'd like to think that the thinking was also similar to government foreign policy which at that time was less global and focused on protectionism.

Tariffs and embargos were a way to disallow competition with the idea that competition would decrease domestic quality of life rather than increase aggregate value of goods, services, and GDP.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 63
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/5/2008 11:51:23 AM
"Chivalry is basically the code of conduct that men of "QUALITY" live by. At one time, chivalry was common place among men, "

OR.."HYPOCRISY" was..

men who SAID they lived by this 'code', then did their 'cheating' and their 'bad behavior' on the sly..


e.g., ca. 1960, was John F. Kennedy 'chivalrous' when he 'did' dozens of women on the sly from Jacquie, his wife?

I believe it was common knowledge that a number of famous men, including many US Presidents, cheated on their wives..however in those days the press tended to be their lackeys, and kept this behavior more "under the radar", helped to sweep it under the carpet..
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