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 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 98
TOMBOYSPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

A girl acting like a guy is the definition of a tomboy.


Hm, really? You don’t have sisters, do you?


Male stereotypes are more proactive, while female stereotypes are more passive. Men are seen as active; doing things, working, enjoying activities. Women are seen as reactive; taking care of people/things/themselves, waiting for others to make plans or decisions. I don't really like girls who fall into that stereotype as one of these stereotypes is interesting, and the other is not.


Whoa…so you want a woman who acts like that stereotypical guy….? Or just like you? Sounds to me like maybe you want a well-rounded woman. Believe it or not, women can be “active, doing things, working, enjoying activities,” just like men without being “tomboys.” But maybe that’s the difference between “city” women and “country” women….”country” women actually DO STUFF.


If I spent an hour or more each day making myself look nice, I'd probably want my partner to do the same. Just like if I exercised and ate healthy, I'd want a fit partner like me. It just feels like we wouldn't click, yanno?


Yeah, I guess but maybe you should at least consider that unless she is a mirror-image of you (and a man) she’s probably gonna need more time than you simply because she’s a woman. City or country tomboy, she’s still a woman.


Same concept of a "city guy" vs a "country guy". A city guy can't (necessarily) hook a worm, but a country guy most likely can with the term "country guy".


I got the “city” v. “country” guy thing, but that doesn’t explain what a “city tomboy” is!


No, that's high maintenance of herself, if she takes too long doing it, slowing everything down, etc. A girl being "high maintenance" is more in the opposite direction of being laid-back, not having much baggage. Whether you have to tend to her to keep things normal, etc. -- or she constantly has things going on to take care of herself.


Ah, that makes more sense. I mean I can see where you guys are coming from, but a woman DOES have to take care of herself differently than a man, and it CAN be time consuming. My hair alone is gonna take way longer to take care of than either of yours simply because I’ve got lots more of it. Hair doesn’t just “happen.” You guys probably towel yours a couple times and walk away! (Actually I do like that about a man, because he’ll get the heck out of the bathroom and out of my way.)

I probably wouldn’t consider a woman who doesn’t spend much time on herself and acts like a guy a “tomboy,” but I consider me to be a “country” tomboy who takes care of herself; my view is just different I guess. :)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 99
TOMBOYS
Posted: 9/25/2013 1:33:17 PM

I got the “city” v. “country” guy thing, but that doesn’t explain what a “city tomboy” is!

A tomboy is in reference to a boy and what a boy is like to one degree or another, and adopting some combination of the habits, style, persona of a boy.

A city boy is a specific type of boy. A country boy is a specific type of boy. A tomboy points to boy, so therefore, a city tomboy points to the habits, style, persona, etc. of not just a boy but of a city boy. Hence, "city tomboy". Pretty simple.
 Ukulelord
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 100
view profile
History
TOMBOYS
Posted: 9/25/2013 3:58:21 PM
Yeah I don't care if she takes more time than me washing and drying her hair if she has more of it than I do. But if she's got 20 pairs of shoes and she can't decide which ones to wear then I get annoyed. That's what plain converses are for.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 101
view profile
History
TOMBOYS
Posted: 9/25/2013 5:14:18 PM
I didn't think that high-maintenance meant how much time she spent on herself or her clothes...that's not necessarily a bad thing...but I thought it referred to how much money a guy ended up spending on her in one way or another, or him "taking care of her".
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 102
TOMBOYS
Posted: 9/25/2013 11:52:17 PM
i'll take it a step further, and define "high maintance" as, you (the guy) actually sees most of it.

the more she spends on makeup, the less natural beauty she has to work with. still, the most beautiful thing any woman can put on her face is an engaging smile, and the second is an intelligent look.

the more a woman dresses to show off her body, the less interested she'll be in me. we just have a different philosophy--her looks are her success, mine aren't. After 4 decades on this planet, I know this simply doesn't end well, and the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. not saying it wouldn't be nice, but few women focused on looks grow up to look deeper--they do just fine going thru life on their looks. they get all the attention--and the breaks--they need.

to me, HM is also a reference to the personality. The woman who always calls you at work when you're busy, to mention some little problem that she should be able to fix herself--and then gets upset when you propose that simple answer, b/c you the guy just don't care about what's going on in her life. uh, you had a problem and i helped--how is that not caring? you should be happy it was easy to solve, there's so many more things in life needing your attention.

drama queens are HM, making mountains out of molehills. Finding trouble where there isn't. The hot mess who cruises from one problem to the next, b/c with her looks, someone always bails her out and its not like she had a high level of self respect to hurt anyway.

we all know women do some work to make themselves look better, and we appreciate it (even tho its not always done for us, but to impress other women in the social circle that she has it all-together). but "some work" can be hidden from us, not flaunted in our face. if she's still doing it as we're heading to the restaurant and there's no excuse for it, or its her life that's constantly a mess and she's dating us so she can have us be the adult for her and she can be 18 yrs old again...then that's HM. its maintenance above the regular, hence, "higher"
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 103
TOMBOYS
Posted: 9/26/2013 10:46:21 AM

I didn't think that high-maintenance meant how much time she spent on herself or her clothes...that's not necessarily a bad thing...but I thought it referred to how much money a guy ended up spending on her in one way or another, or him "taking care of her".

I agree that just because she takes a while (like many women can) -- no, that doesn't fairly label her as high maintenance. High maintenance is a relative term.... to the point where he'd have to keep pushing her to get ready and/or it being as much as a burden on him -- much like it can be a burden to console her about things or help manage her baggage (in the metaphorical sense).
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 104
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/15/2014 12:29:12 AM

I think that I've always been a tomboy. Always hanging out
with the guys and doing 'guy' things. Maybe it's because
I grew up around men mostly and had zero female influence,
other than my dad's occasional gfs. I like guys and I like having
many guy friends. I've had three female friends in my life and it
ended up badly and I dont feel the need to make female friends
ever again. You might say that it was an experiment of mine and
that it went wrong.


Anyway, do guys LIKE tomboys ?


Yes men do LIKE tomboys.
Maybe not everyone but Unless you're a really old school, chivalry type of a guy, I can't any reason why a guy would not like a tomboy.
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 105
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/15/2014 2:09:27 PM

 BLoNDeANGeL845
And I agree w/ SKIES on this too, in fact, I think she made a point (IMO), perhaps unintentionally, the more feminine a woman presents herself, the more masculine the men who like her are.



hotdogshop100
The amount of makeup you use has nothing to do with how masculine a man will be.



BLoNDeANGeL845
Agreed, it is an overall presentation of yourself in behavior & look of masculine or feminine that attracts who you attract...
I think that if you are saying masculine men like/prefer masculine women, your are naïve in that respect.


BLoNDeANGeL845,
Do you ever proofread what you write?
Not sure how you could think that hotdogshop100 was suggesting that masculine men like/prefer masculine women.
She said the amount of makeup you use has nothing to do with how masculine a man will be.
So feminine men are also attracted to women with make up or not.
Masculine men can be attracted to women with make up or not.

YOU BLoNDeANGeL845 are the one who stated "the more feminine a woman presents herself, the more masculine the men who like her are"

It is naive to think that all masculine men prefer women with make up.
It is also naive to suggest that I am not a masculine male because I prefer women with no make up.

BLoNDeANGeL845, you seem to think that wearing make up means you are more feminine.

http://fashionplaceface.com/beautiful-girls-with-no-makeup/

http://www.healthyhobbit.com/9-tips-look-beautiful-without-makeup/

You are the perfect example of some people on hear that either don't read everything, don't absorb what they have read and/or jump to conclusions and accuse people instead of simply asking if the person in question is actually taking a position that you are assuming.

Please stop and ask….otherwise it turns into a flame war.

……………
From the "Coffee Date" thread
Dan198508,

Relaxed as ever.
Had you read every post, you would be sending these directions to those that attacked me for a harmless post.
Please reread everything and think about it.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 106
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/15/2014 3:34:40 PM
"Please reread everything and think about it"

yes take your own advice

re-read that thread put ur thinking cap on.

you missed a few things...

I'm not bringing them over here to feed the troll ether!
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 107
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/15/2014 5:09:00 PM
Personally, I much prefer so called "tomboys", if I come home from work and say lets go out for supper, I expect her to be confident enough to GO FOR SUPPER, not spend 15 minutes on make-up first.

I agree, as has been mentioned, high maint. can be attributed to many different things, none of which I find appealing in a woman.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 108
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 5:49:39 AM
^^MtnMan, I think TOMBOYS are awesome. There are a variety of people in the world, each as unique as snowflakes.

A man, depending on where he lives, his socio-economic status & how he was raised, etc. is going to have a preference for a certain type of woman. IMO, if he digs a TOMBOY, he should go for that type of woman.

But on the same hand, if a man digs a medium or high maintenance woman, his choice(s) should be applauded equally as well.

Every man has his own preference...

If my man says: "let's go out to dinner," he expects & appreciates the 3-5 mins. I spend putting on a lipstick & running a comb thru my hair.

There's a lid for every pot :0P
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 109
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:27:19 AM
Not all so-called Tomboys have an androgynous look. I'm a Tomboy and have been that way all my life. I used to catch snakes and lizards in the woods while other little girls played with dolls. I fly a plane and am a licensed pilot. I play golf, and enjoy many activities that are usually the territory of men.

Although I keep my hair long and wear light make-up, I'm not much of a girly girl. I never wanted kids and have zero maternal instincts. I have been told by a few men that I give off a masculine energy, although I've never had any trouble attracting men.

For fun, I took this little test below, called "Do you think more like a man or a woman?" and I scored 100% male.

http://en.what-character-are-you.com/d/en/755/0.html
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 110
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:58:11 AM

There's a lid for every pot :0P


I prefer athletic women. And have dated super high maintenance women as well as low maintenance women.

These are my perceptions from my own experiences so they are not absolutes. Wearing make up or dolling yourself up does not necessarily equates with high maintenance. Yes, many of the Barbie doll types ARE high maintenance, but not all of them are like that. There are many women that were tomboys as kids or even college, that then flowered into incredibly attractive women. My girlfriend is a tomboy and a geek and super low maintenance. Yet she also enjoys the idea of going to the Ballet and decking out, even buying new lingerie, a super awesome dress, new shoes, the works. And the day of the event, have a pedicure or even have her hair done. I encourage that because I enjoy the whole debauchery process, the going to the super expensive restaurant, then showing up at the event all deck out and looking at other people decked out. I love the decadence of it. To see and be seen. The whole shallow as you may call it nature of the whole thing.

There are as well, women that look like Tomboys are super high maintenance, they just happen to be in a different way.
One thing I have experience is that it's that girl that dolls up and looks like a million bucks, the one that doesn't mind getting all muddy and nasty in some sporting even, a run, or a bike race and changes right there in a parking lot.
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 111
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 9:53:34 AM

Personally, I much prefer so called "tomboys", if I come home from work and say lets go out for supper, I expect her to be confident enough to GO FOR SUPPER, not spend 15 minutes on make-up first.

I agree, as has been mentioned, high maint. can be attributed to many different things, none of which I find appealing in a woman.


Your post oldfashmntman wass pretty well what my thread about non-stereotypical genders was about.
Yet some people freaked out?


Non-stereotypical genders

The other day in a cafe I paused to look around at the patrons that filled the venue.
A mix of students studying, coffee dates, a family and a variety of couples. One couple caught my interest They were lesbians and I could not help but notice their appearances. No make up and plainly dressed.

Curiously I asked myself why more straight women don't don such appearances. The lesbian couple weren't super models but they were not unattractive either. It made we wonder if the lengths that women go to don appearances are because they feel they have to appear that way to attract men? Or do the fashion magazines make them feel that they need to appear that way? Or is it a competition of appearances with other women?

Regardless, it made me daydream of a world where ALL women did not wear any make up. I think that would be awesome. It certainly would make for a more honest presentation to the interested party.

Aside from appearances, I guess I could say that I am attracted to tomboys. Tomboys being the non-stereotypical female.

Hmph.
What would a non-stereotypical man be like today?
I could almost say that non-stereotypical would also be the gender that doesn't follow the fads and fashions of the day.
Presently, if you're a man wearing a beard. Yup you're being stereotypical of the fad/fashion of the day.
Other stereotypes would be…I hunt/fish/own a quad and a 4x4 truck and are a sports fanatic <- more of a spectator than participant.

Anyhow, I know there out there and I just wish there were more because the stereotypes are really boring.


Just watch how some people fly off the handle over this harmless post.
Despite those people deleting the thread that this post started, it was reposted in The Coffee Date.... and the fanfare of posts commenting on it has been quite entertaining.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 112
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 11:33:33 AM
Just watch how some people fly off the handle over this harmless post.
Despite those people deleting the thread that this post started, it was reposted in The Coffee Date.... and the fanfare of posts commenting on it has been quite entertaining.


Obviously many others didn't agree with your assessment or it wouldn't have gotten voted off. Not all Tomboys skip the makeup, and not all women that skip the makeup are Tomboys. You didn't even touch upon hairstyle or manner of dress, nor did you make any mention of lifestyle other than your reference to lesbians. Some lipstick lesbians do wear makeup, yet they are not trying to attract men.

Stop pretending that this is about Tomboys, because it isn't---it's about your personal dislike of women who wear makeup, along with your desire to slam them. Plus, if you had bothered to do a thread search on makeup, you would have seen that your thread subject was redundant. That alone was reason enough for deletion.
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 113
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 3:39:27 PM
Sorry I didn't waste my time to write a 5 page essay to satisfy your needs halcyon_skies.
I could have added but like you said, 10 people voted to delete it.
But it still lives because people are still talking about it .... like you.


Stop thinking you know me.
Rather arrogant of you.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 114
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 4:28:47 PM
Yes I thought high maintenance meant a lot of money and attention spent on her, by the guy. She may also be a big spender on clothes etc herself I guess.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 115
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 4:42:58 PM
I think most men would like a part time tomboy if they are saying they like them but still have the feminine appeal as well. However if a girl is not pretty or attractive to the guy, it doesnt matter what roles she may play. THe risk of being a real tomboy all the time is that men will see you as a good mate and a friend but not as a lover or a wife.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 116
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:24:09 PM

Sorry I didn't waste my time to write a 5 page essay to satisfy your needs halcyon_skies.


You obviously wrote it to satisfy your own needs---and no doubt, you have plenty of time on your hands to waste. No one here can see what you look like, since you choose to hide your face behind a computer screen---however I'd lay odds it's because most women who fit your feminine stereotype don't find you physically attractive.


I could have added but like you said, 10 people voted to delete it.
But it still lives because people are still talking about it .... like you.


It's pretty hard to ignore someone who cries for attention by stubbornly posting the same pathetic paragraphs. What is this? Number five, or is it six?


Stop thinking you know me.
Rather arrogant of you


I don't have to know you to reach the conclusion that you're a misogynistic troll---and an obtuse one at that.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 117
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:07:35 PM

I think most men would like a part time tomboy if they are saying they like them but still have the feminine appeal as well.

Most guys I think do want a woman who can shift gears into tomboy-like mode, on say Sunday afternoons, going camping, running some errands, etc.

If one means dressing and acting like a dude in voice, attitude, chewing tabacco with a hat on sideways wearing overly baggy jeans and oversized flannel shirts, where she'd be the male in a lesbian relationship? Ehhhh, no, not so much.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 118
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/16/2014 10:43:08 PM
What a person likes, or is attracted to is up to what that specific person likes. There is no general answer that could span an entire gender without fail, even with regard to sex. Some men are asexual, where they have little to no sex drive. Which is odd, considering the average male sexual drive constantly effects thought and behavior.

Do guys generally like tomboys? Hmm, the best answer would be - that it all depends on what she looks like, and that her personality isn't so abrasive that she challenges the guys masculinity.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 119
view profile
History
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/17/2014 12:26:18 PM
I enjoy dressing up with the make up, hair etc. as much as the next woman....on the RIGHT OCCASION...

BUT....for everyday, my clothes are practical and other than mascara and some moisturizer and Lypsol, just don't have the patience for doing a full make-up that's not even supposed to LOOK like a full make- up and heels and skirts, are OUT of the question due to both back problems and the nature of my work.....lol

As far as getting down and dirty at a moment's notice , not a problem with that either...

I learned how to do most things for myself a LONG time ago, such as plumbing, some wiring, carpentry and construction as well as how to change a tire and do basic maintenance on my vehicle...(oil change, brakes, etc.)

But if my b/ f is a mechanic for example.... I am perfectly willing to step out of the way and let HIM have at it! LMAO

I' ve never been one of those ' girly girls'...

While OTHER girls were playing with Barbie, I was tackling a cross country course on a horse who outweighed me by about 1400lbs. Hell bent for leather, doing my level best to HANG ON for dear Life and maintain at least a semblance of control... Lol

I preferred catching frogs and snakes and tramping through the bush observing wildlife, to " playing wedding" ....

Funnily enough, never had a problem finding men who thought I was " feminine" enough....

And if I'm going to drive/ ride in a convertible,or a motorcycle well, the LAST thing I want is to be worrying about is what my HAIR looks like afterwards...LOL

I think for me the experience is more important than how I may LOOK while/ after having the experience....
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 120
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/17/2014 5:46:46 PM

If my man says: "let's go out to dinner," he expects & appreciates the 3-5 mins. I spend putting on a lipstick & running a comb thru my hair.


Three to run the comb through your hair is fine, but the 2 for the lipstick are not allowed. wink
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 121
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/17/2014 6:01:43 PM

^^MtnMan, I think TOMBOYS are awesome. There are a variety of people in the world, each as unique as snowflakes.


Oh absolutely, I agree, to each their own. I guess I could have been a little more specific in my post, LOVE long hair like yours!

Also prefer (not necessarily a deal breaker) curves to what some might call "athletic", I just callem skinny. grin
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 122
TOMBOYS
Posted: 12/17/2014 8:09:03 PM
Nice response MtMan, I once dated a guy I nick-named Mountain Man & he taught me to target shoot- I was quite good at it (on reactive targets)-Maybe that qualifies me to have a spec of TomBoy in me, LOL?

Someone mentioned High Maintenance, Low maintenance & I say there is also a medium maintenance.

I had a friend, we cruised together a few times & I would never want to share a room w/ her...why? She was HIGH MAINTENANCE.

She didn't like the dinner table, had the maître De reassign us, no biggie. But then she didn't like that either & yammered about it too much IMO. I preferred the 1st table...

Before the cruise, she called me to ask me if she was allowed to pack a STEAMER to take on the cruise. WTF it was a vaca to relax, couldn't she pack knit clothing?

Then she went on & on about which outfits & 10 pairs of shoes on a 7 day & night cruise.

All the food was too hot, or too cold, she didn't like this or that...

I will never cruise w/ her ever again. SHE IS TOO HIGH MAINTENANCE.


Low maintenance to me, is a very passive person who allows themselves to be pushed around & has little to no standards in anything. (But then they whine afterwards) A passive-aggressive nitemare. Has nothing to do w/ makeup hair or clothes, just overall emotional functioning.

I strive for medium maintenance. I take my man for a medical procedure, I want to talk to the doctor or a qualified nurse BEFORE I DRIVE HIM HOME to get the scoop. No drama, but no doormat. What is he supposed to eat, when should he take meds, etc.

I like to groom myself, but not like a drag queen.

I'll be nice to strangers, but if they get obnoxious/rude to me or my loved ones, I let them have it. I have my back & his back too.

Guys, if you were rushed to the ER & you had a woman & she had to make a decision for you, etc. who do you want talking to the doctor on your behalf? The mousey doormat? The cray-cray drama queen, carrying on? Or the woman who is firm, yet reasonable?

And PS- don't go on a vaca or a cruise w/ women who take linen clothes & then want a steamer to get the wrinkles out...

Realize in most instances low maintenance may not function so well in a pinch.


My girlfriend is a tomboy and a geek and super low maintenance. Yet she also enjoys the idea of going to the Ballet and decking out, even buying new lingerie, a super awesome dress, new shoes, the works. And the day of the event, have a pedicure or even have her hair done.

IMO she's medium maintenance- she's flexible according to the occasion & the mood.
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