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Show ALL Forums  > British Columbia  > does someone's job really matter?      Home login  
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 51
does someone's job really matter?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
my job doesnt matter...

i just do it for shits and giggles...
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 52
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:06:29 PM

just because you're shallow and bitter doesn't mean the rest of the world is

I dont think that jesus is shallow and bitter for that you seriously believe that its whats on the inside that counts? and that the rest of the world believes that? hahaha

I think that what someone does, or wants to do, is important...for reasons that have already been covered throughout this thread. Saying that its all about whats on the inside is just such a lie...and totally deserves an eye-roll and a laugh.
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 53
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:19:44 PM
Well, I will be honest because in some ways what a perspective partner does for a living does matter to me-if not immediately, it may somewhere down the road.

I do agree that having a job is first and foremost in my books, as yes I too have supported a 'down on his luck' type fella.

Generalizing only here, but certain characteristics inherent with certain job types do indicate to some degree who they are, or atleast some of their passions. I would hate to think that a vet doesnt like animals, a horse trainer not like horses, a doctor or nurse not liking people and so on.

I do look at those things as clues to who that person is. I am immediately attracted to those that have an element of 'giving' in some way with their profession because I respect and admire those people that think there is more to life than just their own needs. Does this make me a gold digger or shallow?? I like to think not. Understand as well that I am generalizing as I am sure that there are those working in tradionally low paying low advancement jobs that have that same element of 'giving' to their nature and to you I apologize for being judgemental.

Another example would be when careers are in different stages of life. For example you are ready to retire and travel and are looking for a partner in a similar place as opposed to still building their career or earning power or retirement savings. Without some pretty serious compromising the relationship or prospective relationship would be a challenge.
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 54
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does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:33:43 PM
HA! makes me roll my eyes and laugh.

just because you're shallow and bitter doesn't mean the rest of the world is.

So, are you saying you don't see the idiocy in the statement:
I don't judge people based on what they do or say. I judge them based on who they are inside!!!

Amusing. Are you psychic then? Just wondering how you know "who they are inside" if it's not by what they do and say? does God himself speak to you in dreams and tell you what people are really like inside? wow!

Why would you think I'm bitter?
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 55
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:08:48 PM
people inside are very similar, a few pints of of blood, heartt lungs, liver, pancreas...all pretty standard. i guess some dont have their appendix but seems like an odd system of basis of a relationship...

I would think ambition is something "inside" your hopes and dreams are all tied typically somewhat to what you do. Even those whose main ambition is not work related, the career is related.

A job is only important to the degree people enjoy it. Their view on their living situation which does include their career. In the short term there is only the their perspective that matters. But if someone is planning on living cheque to cheque their entire life working minimal jobs, or always on welfare. odds are that if i want us to do any travelling it means i have to take on additional work. I plan on travelling alot all my life. I bust my ass so i can have that luxury. So i guess long term its work ethic and ambition. Some people will always make more and that does not matter.

I think that in the long term if they sit around eating cheezy poofs while i have to be working 80+ hrs a week. That is not to say if i end up with kids and one of us stays home: cause i know that is alot of work. I am saying that if one person is putting in all the effort while the other lounges....odds are it aint gonna work. If someone has no money nor drive and wants to sit around is with someone who is a "go getter" and wants to travel/do things you have a potential conflict.
I believe your job should not dictate your life and that what you do does not control who you are but to say there is no correlation is assanine
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 56
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does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:25:36 PM

I believe your job should not dictate your life and that what you do does not control who you are but to say there is no correlation is assanine

I disagree somewhat.

In my own life, I'd like my job not to dictate my life, but ...

I know many people who have jobs that absolutely dictate their lives. There's nothing wrong with that. I know a policeman who is a policeman above all. His father and grandfather were policemen. Wait, that was a bad movie I saw once...

Point is, some real people I know who allow their lives to be dictated by their work are research scientists, entertainers, most professionals, business owners. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 57
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:34:30 PM
what about some of the issues that people with varying disabilities have to deal with. I'm not alone when I say that I can have all the drive, and the best ideas in the world. But for some,(no names mentioned) things that come up to no fault of their own, end gets in the way of their final go of having that almighty job. And unfortunitley there are way to many men and women out there that look at the lack of things that he/she may not have like: Job, the perfect body,and last but not least, no physical disability.

Its not just the lack of a job that may not get you anywhere, there are some many others. And in the end, I don't feel that as long as I or we feel like we are doing the best we can with what we/I got, and/or I feel good about myself, and what I'm doing that in the end is going to get us that specail someone,............ anyone. Wether you agree or not, we as a whole want and expect way too much from the other person.

What happend to the good old days, where what you did and could do WAS good enough!
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 58
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:36:03 PM
The problem with posing a question like this in here is that you are only going to get one-sided answers. I see 3 pages of people saying that a person's job doesn't really matter as long as they have one, as long as they like it, or if they have ambition.

The truth is that it does matter to some people. Not all, but some. We all know that, and have probably all come across these people at some point in our lives. The problem is that the ones who it does matter to probably will not post (because they will likely be ganged up on and ostracized for expressing their "unpopular" opinion), so this thread won't really provide any further insight to the original question.
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 59
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:55:20 PM
Spud!! I love your style!!

And unfortunitley there are way to many men and women out there that look at the lack of things that he/she may not have like: Job, the perfect body,and last but not least, no physical disability.

Spud and I have chatted a little about people with disabilites...but let me throw this into the pot part because it also applies to me...

As I mentioned earlier in this thread I am now disabled with Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.... here's the catch though... you look at me... and I look quite normal... some would even say healthy!! BUT...REMEMBER EVERYONE...LOOKS CAN ALSO BE DECEIVING....AND I MEAN THAT IN EVERY CONTEXT OF THE WAY.... Yes there are people that look normal, healthy etc...but they are milkin whatever system then can.

Don't be so quick to judge, people that suffer from chronic pain illnesses such as mine look normal and healthy
...there could be a lot of people out there in our tiny little fish bowl that suffer from these or other similiar illnesses that do not have visible physcial problems or apparatus to identify them as disabled...but we are disabled. A lot of you may know someone that is not working... and perhaps they are not comfortable sharing with you that they do have physical limitaions and/or are illnesses... I can share from my past experience that this is very difficult to accept once you have worked...and can no longer... PLEASE BE SENSITIVE TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY SAY THEY ARE NOT WORKING!!!.... like I said before you might not now their whole story...and given time if your a good friend/partner/lover....whatever relationship... with love and support...they will finally feel comfortable in sharing their story with you...and hopefully others!!
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 60
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:34:54 PM
I think that if there was more of the above from the oposite sex, there just may be many more success stories here in POF land.
 Captain Sargasmo
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 61
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:43:27 PM
ok...without all the quotes and stuff...let me elaborate...

i don't care if she's a dishwasher or a CEO...makes no difference to me. you are not what you do.

that being said,'s not what's inside that counts. it's the whole package for me, but judging someone based on their gig is like judging them for the car they drive. who cares? it's just a material posession, and makes no difference to me in the persons attitude.

sure...i have qualifiers and standards, just like everyone else...but to base attraction on such frivolous things is just silly. it doesn't matter what you have right now, it could all be gone tomorrow, it's who you are.

and for the might be skin deep...but ugly goes right to the bone.
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 62
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:49:25 PM
I think the overall point the people who would prefer folks to have a job is not that they MUST have a job, but that they are not looking for a free handout or someone to take care of them,. simply be able support yourself ( and your family if it applies) is the underlying current here isn't it???
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 63
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does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 4:47:15 AM
Multiple choice here people:

Your life gets turned upside down by some sort of adversity such as a physical or mental disability... you:

A: sit around and feel sorry for yourself for a few years, moping about how it's IMPOSSIBLE for you to work with your disability;

B: Milk it for all it's worth so you can use your disability, (or fictitious illness like "chronic fatigue") to get free money and sympathy from friends/family/the government;


C: After the minimum time spent adjusting to the new life, overcome the adversity and seek employment that can be done within your disability.

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the correct answer here.

have no legs? get a job at a call centre!! Have social/mental issues? find menial labor. Feel excessively tired all the time? Join the club, get a helmet, and deal with it. Have psychological problems preventing you from working 9 to 5? Start an at home business so you can work on your own hours!!

Everybody has adversity in their lives. We still have to make a living, take care of business, and pay the bills.
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 64
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 5:31:49 AM
WOW firstly and secondly WOW how you became so sensitive to others amazes me where you raised by wolves or TV , besides your handle says it all ( God complex much) I will make you a deal I won't ask you to pull your head out of your Keester and I won't pretend that the world revloves around you and the drival that comes from deep in that brain pan of yours . Man how self loving you are , lets try an experament why not cut your legs off and go work at a call center like say NCO in surrey for 8 bucks an hour and see if after a year of living in a garage with 5 roommates and living on KD the goverment handout looks good to you or ending your misery looks better . Any how I think your a dildo with ears and your opinon is just that yours. Do you drink ?
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 65
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 4:17:01 PM
Yeah it matters to me. And according to most of your posts it matters to you as well. By saying you don't "care what the job is, just as long as they have one" is a really weak attempt at sounding less shallow. The amount of "I don't want to carry anyone else financially" comments also prove that someone's job does matter.
You can't say that "any job will do" and then continue on with "just as long as they work more than part-time and make more than minimum wage" and NOT be thought of as a little bit shallow.
So, it does matter.
I'm an odd duck though, having dated musicians, actors, artists and comics almost exclusively my entire dating life, it’s not so much the size of the paycheque as the feeling of satisfaction I get when I say "Yeah, that REALLY talented muthah effer up there? That's MY man." I like being the girlfriend of a superstar. (Although, truth be told, I'd really rather be the superstar myself.)
Whatever, I'm shallow. I'll admit it. About as deep as a puddle in May.
And I would never date someone with a job that I found morally reprehensible. But being fairly open-minded (uh-oh, that's gonna open a can of worms) there aren't a lot of jobs (in my world) that fall into that category.

(seems I doubled up on my cynical pills this morning...)
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 66
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 4:39:47 PM
damnit...what about us one will love us...we have a job, good paying, lots of free time just cause we shoot people does that make us "bad"

woe 's me.....

but seriously PJ does have a point. Even if you are physically/mentally challenged you can make an effort-hell volunteer to help others with similar disabilities. Even if there is no pay there is a huge difference in mentality.
There are many education grants available to those with disabilities. the point of amibition is its a sign of self improvement and to people such as myself (which many people are similar to) you wanting to improve your life is important. Thats why we pay taxes to help the less fortunate improve their lives and so people sitting and leeching when they could be doing something pisses alot of people off.
Moreso with able bodied people when we have construction firms flying people in from alberta to get jobs done there is no reason why any healthy individual can not get a job in construction if they have a lick of work ethic. Trades may be dirty, it may be hard but its a damn good well paying job.

Many of us do not want to end up sitting in a trailer park talking about what we would do if we won the lottery. Take control of your life and do something with it. I guess that is why I find it important to have a job/ambition I have been building my life since i was a child and so if you are not building (does not matter to what end) then we have very little in common.

while this is just my opinion and many others may be different and thats fine...

We have all had things that were challenges along the way, its how we overcome them that matters. I could give you 3000 reasons why i should have failed but only 1 why i suceeded...strength of will
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 67
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:20:17 PM
Although I have to agree with PJ on one count that yes most people could choose to make the most of their lives but for whatever reason choose not to,..... this following statement is completely false.
Milk it for all it's worth so you can use your disability, (or fictitious illness like "chronic fatigue") to get free money and sympathy from friends/family/the government;
CFS is VERY real for many people and not easy to live with. Trick is to find a happy medium,.. and maybe they can work,... just not regularly enough to support themselves and/or their families gainfully. Family and friends are NOT usually a source of sympathy as CFS is not a "tangible" disablility. IF it doesn't LOOK broken it isn't is how most people see things. If only that were really true.
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 68
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:38:00 PM
It doesnt really matter what someone's job is...well...Im not too fond of people who break the law and if I can catch any diseases from it I suppose I wouldnt want that in my life! So yeah I suppose there are some limits.....

...............HD......... has the perfect job, being my bf!! hehehee
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 69
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:57:15 PM
so there was clearly too much reading to go on to take anyones opinion on this into consideration
not that I would have anyway
but I think if you have a set standard for the person you want to meet, and one of those is that they should have a decent job...then that's entirely up to you

no one wants to have to be a sugar momma/daddy unless they are really ugly (because what's on the inside doesn't matter), or they are trying to bang someone other than thier significant other on the side
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 70
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:00:32 PM
Well, exactly, I don't care what the person does, at least he is earning a legitimate income, (smuggling drugs and the sopranos.....mmm... no)

For me it is the person, just not looking for another "renter" at my place to take care of I'm pretty settled right now and love my freedom, so yes, the person I am with has to have a place to stay and a decent job at least:)
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 71
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:15:14 PM
I thought I wanted a career ...turns out I just wanted a paycheck....hehe!!

Weeee!! my oldest son got a job today and the sponge is moving i mean the lil darling ..... and his cat... heh!! will truly miss to get my office back, and finish planning that trip to
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 72
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does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:17:29 PM
TBHAH: First of all, I AM sensitive to others. In fact, I've worked extensively with the mentally challenged, and I've LIVED with paraplegic roommates.

I also had a roommate who worked in a call centre. Guess what? He made about sixty five grand a year. So much for your sob story about living in a garage. I've also been forced to work for minimum wage to get through the tough times, living in a garage with five roommates, eating mr noodles, etc. Many of us have had to do it. As a student, I lived in squalor. Having a disability doesn't make you immune to the realities of life. Many people live on minimum wage. Why should somebody with no legs feel that they deserve more sympathy than anybody else who has dealt with adversity?

Anyhow, I DO feel great sympathy for those people with conditions that prevent them from working, particularly those people with mental conditions. For some reason, in our society one with a physical disability can usually find government and community support. If you are unfortunate enough to have a severe case of schitzophrenia, you are most likely unemplyable. You will quite likely end up on the street, since we see mental illness as just "being crazy". Schizophrenics often do not have the means or knowlege to get aid, either. They wind up on the street asking for money, where they get more and more abused.

I am an activist for those with mental disabilities. So suggest that I have no sensitivity towards them is totally ridiculous.

The point of my above post was that there are many disabilities.. mental or physical, that DO NOT inhibit one's ability to work, but they feel they shouldn't have to work because of their disability. These people make me sick. CFS is one of them. Sure, i admit, it's a real disease, but it is not totally debilitating. You can still do stuff, you just have to find work with flexible hours, preferably something from the home! Maybe learn about computers and do contract database work. you can do that at whatever time you want!!

Leave the government aid money for those who actually really need it.

I actually think there's too much pressure on the severely mentally handicapped to work. There's a big move to make them integrate into society, to get jobs and be independent. I have a mentally challenged cousin. He's much better off accepting his handicap and living in a group home than he was when his social worker was attempting integration.

deleted: Yeah, yeah, I know, cfs is a real syndrome... But the cdc has extremely specific conditions required before it can be diagnosed.

Many people simply say, "oh, man, I find it very difficult to get up in the morning, and I always feel tired. Plus, sometimes, I can just fall asleep at the drop of a hat!! I must have CFS!!"

Well, if that were the case, I'd have been diagnosed years ago!

Point is, if you are diagnosed with a disability, you can choose to use that as an excuse to do nothing, or you can use it as a challenge to motivate you to overcome it.

I mean, they could make a clinical definition to diagnose somebody as chronically lazy and useless, maybe call it motivational dissipation syndrome. That would be great. I could lay around the house and feel sorry for myself because I'm stricken with this terrible disease!!
 Captain Sargasmo
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 73
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:18:09 PM
i don't know about the Netherlands...but we pay our garbagemen pretty darned good over here.
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 74
does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:26:24 PM
PJ: I wasn't disagreeing with you about any of the above but just that REAL CFS, and by that obviously meant DIAGNOSED by professionals, not the local coffee group, is a true condition and VERY debilitating.
I know that laziness/lack of motivation is the biggest hinderence to many, then again it IS often tied into mental illness. Just something to think about before painting most everyone with the same brush.

If you are a garbage man , i doubt any women would take you.
Heck I would !! those guys make BIG BUCKS picking up others garbage and you'd be surprised at the GOOD stuff they haul home too. Amazing what some folks will throw out.
'Tis a rather physical job too!

Just like the guy driving the "honeywagon" now there is BIG money in S**T! don't we all know it!?
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 75
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does someone's job really matter?
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:31:22 PM

I dont think it matters much what kind of job a woman has. however, i think the man's job defines who he is . His social rank. If you are a garbage man , i doubt any women would take you.

Wow. nice double standard.

Unfortunately, in Vancouver, it's quite true.
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