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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 111
No Games? Bullshit.Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I have noticed that no matter how you deal with someone, there's a complaint. So in a sense, it sounds black and white to just say "hey just be honest with me", but it's not that easy.

Some say they want honesty up front, and a VERY small few do, and will thank you and say they appreciate it. In my experience most will either turn ugly when told you aren't interested, and insult you or just plain e-mail you back obscenities, or they won't accept it. They'll try to get you to change your mind or ask you why 10 times.

Some say if you aren't interested they want to talk to you anyway, but will keep on trying to date you in future conversations, expecting you to change your preference as time goes on. Then they'll say you're messing with them or stringing them along.

Some are ok with talking for a while and say they are ok with you being comfortable, and then ask you every half hour when they can call, when they can meet. It's gotta be just laid back and go with the flow. When the whole conversation is just about that, it's too much.

I will talk back and forth with anyone, but sometimes it's better to just delete e-mails.

People need to make up their minds.
 ima_gin
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 112
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/28/2006 1:06:02 PM
oldschoolqueen... this is exactly what I was talking about. If you aren't interested in getting to know someone or meet them.. why would you continue to carry on a conversation? Just stop writing back and move on to someone you do like. To keep talking to someone you have no interest in, knowing they are quite possibly interested in you? Yes, that really is stringing them along...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 114
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/28/2006 1:44:25 PM
oldschoolqueen... this is exactly what I was talking about. If you aren't interested in getting to know someone or meet them.. why would you continue to carry on a conversation? Just stop writing back and move on to someone you do like. To keep talking to someone you have no interest in, knowing they are quite possibly interested in you? Yes, that really is stringing them along...


I agree for those who want to date...and I tell them that. I will get to know anyone I talk to for a while or meet them as a friend, but I make it clear they are looking for more than I am. Like I said earlier, they ask to keep talking. I don't force it on them. I am a friendly person and will be honest but won't be rude and cut people off. I leave it to them to decide how to handle it - it's their life.

So what exactly ARE you saying? Either you want the absolute date or the no thanks, and maybe that's you. MY point is a lot of people stay in the middle ground. These people are adults and should know what they want. If they are fine with continuing a conversation under the circumstances, then I assume they are old enough to make that decision for themselves.

I also don't assume everyone that contacts me wants to date me, because I don't have that type of ego. Some don't. I won't address it until they do.

If you don't want to continue with someone who TELLS YOU they are not interested, then that's your choice, and not their problem.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 120
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:56:20 PM
For all the people who complain about 'games', I have to say virtually all of you are hard-pressed to play 'games' yourselves. The games I'm referring to are the ones we all have complained about at one time or another, and in the same general fashion as the OP pointed out (ie not ACTUAL games like QA games on dates).

The only time you'll find someone NOT playing 'games' in the introductory scene or pre-scene of dating, is when they are REALLY into you. Them being really into you doesn't gaurentee that there won't be hints of game-playing, but when it does in this instance, it's usually very harmless -- they won't want to risk losing ya.

You'll find everyone saying how they hate people playing games -- but 99.99% you do it yourself, even though you say you don't. What you mean to say is that you don't play games with someone you're focused on persuing/have a crush on/totally into, etc. You would have to virtually be the kind of person who doesn't at all mind saying 'Yeah, you do look a little chunky in that dress', if you are honestly the person who never played games with someone.

We've all faced situations where we lost some interest, better opportunities arose, or we didn't have a ton of interest to begin with, and were more interested in going out on a date (and less of that person). In these instances before dating someone, what are we supposed to say? "Yeah, sorry... I met this great girl, and all my attention's focused on her, not you"? or "Ya know, I wanted to at the time, but I don't want to after I've actually thought about it, and I think I can get someone better."

I personally haven't been in all those situations, but I think we've all been in at least one of those situations (like losing interest or better options before dating), whether it resulted from after getting a # from someone at a bar, or getting a response via email. When that has happened, have you ever not returned their calls? Or felt obliged to and lead them on that you WOULD get together (again) at some point? Or that you were busy? Congrats -- although some forms are worse than others -- you were playing games of the intital dating phase!

It's part of the process, and feels like something very different when you're on the other end of the stick. :)
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 145
view profile
History
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:03:13 PM
Why? What's wrong with games? I LOVE games!! I play them all the time!! Battleship, Monopoly, Connect Four, Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Clue.....But my all-time favorite? TRIVIAL PURSUIT--STAR WARS EDITION!! WOOHOO!!!
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 146
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:53:22 PM
Any one or two incidents and I would believe I'm just unlucky. but with the number of times this has happened recently (and over the last year), I'm starting to wonder if I missed a memo. I'm sick of having my time wasted like this. Women, if you're not interested in someone, don't make them think you are! -- Yelp


The problem here, Yelp, is that you are taking this seriously, as if it matters.

If someone decides she doesn't want to meet you - whether it's because a pimple burst on her backside or her Great Aunt Fanny is having a migraine in another state - it doesn't really matter. It is all outside of yourself and has no bearing on who you are or how you should think. If you continue to fret over it, thrash over it, and think about it, as you are, you are drawing it (and it's a small, minuscule, irrelevant 'it') into your life.

Do you think they care? Do you think they care a whit? Of course they don't.

As for me, when I sense that someone doesn't want to meet me or be with me after having been with me for days, weeks, months or years (no matter how long), I simply ease myself out of the situation and leave them to it. I've got better things to do than be somebody else's "missing part" or whatever the term is that is in vogue today. All these women with their perfect lives, "but just need some down time with a guy," forget me. It's not difficult. Just do yourself a favour and totally, absolutely, ineluctably forget me. Because I ain't interested in being somebody's spare part for a certain time of the day or whatever else they've got in mind when they have some free time from their professional and ever-so hectic lifestyles.

Again, Yelp, it doesn't matter one microscopic bit, when all is said and done.

Finally, I urge you to read a book called Awareness by Anthony de Mello. Please, if you never read another book in your life, at least read this one. You will never be the same person again. When somebody backs out of a meeting or changes her mind (Great Aunt Fanny's migraine or otherwise), you will put the telephone down and not give it another thought. You will laugh at how absurd you were and how much energy you gave this nonsense. Please, read Anthony de Mello's book. It will change your life.

Best wishes, Yelp, and Happy New Year.

- Peter
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 147
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 12/31/2012 3:58:54 PM
This is why I only go on here for forums, killing time and killing time. If women want to talk to me online, they're always welcome to. Online dating is a bunch of games anyways. You get the person's number start talking to them, plan a meet up and then find out that they or you are not interested within one date. Then what? move on find someone else and do it all over again. The whole online routine gets old real fast.

I'm not putting a lot of effort into meeting people online anymore, instead I'm putting more effort to meeting up with people offline and people that I have met thru friends.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 148
view profile
History
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/1/2013 10:18:45 AM
I cancelled a meeting on here once, not because I was playing games, but because after he asked me out, he basically ignored me on line and appeared to be trying to get as many dates as possible. I felt uncomfortable meeting him, so I cancelled. Sometimes things are not as they appear.
 inthefree2
Joined: 7/29/2012
Msg: 149
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/1/2013 10:24:36 AM
gimmie a break .decent women havent found one yet.
 inthefree2
Joined: 7/29/2012
Msg: 150
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/1/2013 10:26:44 AM
why do all the women think their princesses
 zoeistar
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 151
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/1/2013 3:23:44 PM
very true..
i met one guy who i really liked..and we had met a few times, but those few times- i had to wait for 2-3 weeks each time. and i thought we clicked.. but recently i havent seen him and he would give me excuses about being busy at work, being sick and everytime he would promise to see me the following week. which i in return would say okay. but.. yeah.. its not just women.. guys are the same =(
 zoeistar
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 152
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/1/2013 3:24:20 PM
=) very true! =D
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 153
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/1/2013 3:33:39 PM
I have not met ONE guy who did not play games or who didn't lie/hide something. So sad.
 butterfly122275
Joined: 12/20/2012
Msg: 154
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/2/2013 5:20:21 PM
I say the same thing no games blah blah then after things re going great they dissapear forever at least say your not interested . no one is honest period we all say we dont want to hurt the other persons feelings but it hurts so much more to be left hanging without an answer I now tell ppl Im not interested but everyone plays the game in some way men cant just tell us they arnt interested and women dont either
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 155
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/2/2013 6:11:14 PM
Same goes for men! It's a 2 way street my friend.

I could say that some men like to waste women's time too. Sometimes they chase a woman in the beginning and when it comes to finally picking a day to go out on date, excuses after excuses. But still say that they are interested.

Wtf are u interested in anyways? To play head games with a girl for so long and never bother to meet them in person? why do it in the first place?

Some ppl I tell u.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 156
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/3/2013 9:49:12 AM
Games...sometimes I think they exist for a reason. It's a game when you don't get what you want. What you're describing comes with the territory of online dating. People have options. Until you've actually met, there's always a chance that another shiny new object will pop up. Nobody can really be that interested in someone they have never met face to face. I think that's a bit naieve and a fantasy.
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 157
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/3/2013 11:44:16 PM
You mean you've never heard of women players?

They message me, I message them. They stop, I stop. So much easier.

No response = no interest. It doesn't get any easier.
 sasnurse
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 158
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:11:51 AM
Did u ever think she might have been nervous?? Or maybe u said something that made her rethink about meeting u?Hmm think about it before u make judgement..
 cj4one
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 159
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/6/2013 4:13:16 PM
I agree 100%! A lot of women have a list of requirements but show little to no courtesy in return. I recently had dinner with a woman, she texted me to say she had a great time and would like to meet again. I left a text and a voice mail...no answer. I can handle the truth, just do me the courtesy of a reply.
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 160
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:30:30 PM
Is your profile on yelp also??
lol
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 162
view profile
History
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/7/2013 6:35:17 AM
I met a guy from a different on line site. We went out twice and had fun both times. A few days later I saw him on POF so I said hello, not thinking anything about seeing him on line, we had no commitment.. it was only two dates. He didnt respond, then hid his profile. Later when I asked him about this he lied. Basically, he told me he changed sites so I wouldnt know he was still interested in dating others. Well, isnt that being dishonest? I didnt care if he was seeing others, I wasnt expecting a commitment after 2 dates.,. so why lie? Now the dope doesnt realize that since he responded to emails, I can still see when he is on line in his hidden state and ignoring me. Wow he thinks women are stupid.. NEXT.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 163
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 1/7/2013 4:08:22 PM

Generally speaking, those who put a statement about games or drama in their profile are full of both.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dominus ordo, amen.
 LunaPalida
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 164
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/9/2014 9:04:01 AM
I have been in the dating site for a while now and no luck at all, I think people now this days just looking to have fun and nothing serious. Good luck to all.
 sunsetsam
Joined: 8/25/2014
Msg: 166
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/10/2014 3:42:11 PM
^^^^^ Hey you up there, the OP began this thread in 2006 and is now gone, I doubt he will read your msg to him.
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