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 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 46
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I'm not worried about how jungle life is....

and I have weapons to even the score if needed

real life doesnt work that way as with animals... we are not animals

well at least some of us aren't
 keepingit
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 47
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:34:49 PM

Wow Keep!!! I've decided that maybe I'm just dominant and not necessarily Alpha! I'm not a killer...it's all about peace n love in my house!


oh don't take it that serious elizabeth. If it was a survival situation you would. I'm not saying we are animals but I am saying that these bodies are from this physical universe. So it really isn't about a jungle. No one is going to whack anyone. But that is what Alpha is. The leader. Leaders really do have to make tough choices. There has always been a little saying that I use when someone won't make the call and live with it....."What makes your head more precious than mine?"
When someone says to me..."I don't have any real enemies." That says a lot to me. Leaders have real eneimies. An Alpha is a true target. Being a target has made him Alpha.

A man a little more Alpha than you are is a huge turn on for you. Just his presence. I know you have been around some real ones. When an Alpha type woman feels submissive, in a romantic way, towards a man it changes everything. Hell she could be his boss at the shop the rest of the time but when it comes to romance she trusts him to take her to nice places. If he goes abusive? He's a pozer.
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 48
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:42:04 PM
this kinda thinking must come from reading too many comic books
when young or watching those action packed violient cartoons

 keepingit
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 49
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:43:09 PM

real life doesnt work that way as with animals... we are not animals

well at least some of us aren't


Well I wasn't talking about all aspects of life. I was talking about dynamic drives that forward biological bodies. No one said that we didn't have a soul. You know as well as I that the best looking guy in the world can disqualify himself the second he opens his mouth to you. Guys trying to buy affection and coming across as needy is the exact opposite of Alpha. A woman will turn off in a heart beat. It is consistant. Personalities have nothing to do with it. Now on the other hand if he approaches you in an Alpha manner the sparks are going to fly. You don't really get to choose what or how or whom. It just happens. You have never questioned your feelings before....why start now? It is an emotional response. It's romantic because he is just like the man in the novel. Half tender half savage. You can smell his wildness at times. YOu know exactly what I'm talking about. Well that is "triggered" in you.
 blue sunshine
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 50
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:54:03 PM

A man a little more Alpha than you are is a huge turn on for you. Just his presence. I know you have been around some real ones.


You're soooooo right......just haven't had one in much too long! But, that's another thread....in a different category and i'm just not going there,lol. But, Keep, you're right...and when you're right, you're right! Whew.
 goodguy4uladies
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 51
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/13/2006 5:38:15 AM
To call a woman an Alpha Female isn't to be degrading. It's only to try and gain some understanding of this woman's nature. To gain an understanding of women, men would be more prepared to love that woman for the woman she is and not try to change her. How is that a bad thing? I know that women on here, the ones who are truly trying to learn about male behavior so they can have better, more meaningful relationships with them should be interested in the science that dictates their behavior. If you spend all your time being standoffish and unwilling to learn because you assume that the oppisite sex is being unkind, then you will forever stay unenlightened. I, for one, do not wish to be kept in the dark about how to interact with certain members of the oppisite sex, do you? This reluctance you have toward men trying to theorize from their own life experiences is unhealthy and combative. Do you always assume that men mean women harm as you have assumed here?
 hardhatguy
Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 53
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/13/2006 1:54:15 PM
yes there is a such thing as an alpha female. her place in nature is beside an alpha male. best youngins natural selection evolution and all that
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 57
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/15/2007 4:59:59 PM
No - only women who confuse Aggressiveness with Assertiveness.

Joe
 dannyebreeze
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 58
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:01:53 PM
gotta post after reading Bandito, you said it the A's are the cream, chasing one now, no not here, and uh Bandit they be bright, and tough, but they do have a sense of humor and only tough on the outside, well at least one anyway.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 59
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:36:31 PM
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?

Yes there is ....... a black widow spider.


Well , I have heard the expression "power couples" ..so maybe that's the same thing as an Alpha male and an Alpha female ......to each there own but that's not my type .
 trident039
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 61
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:19:53 PM
Two words:

HELLS YES!!

 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 62
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:14:16 PM
Do alpha females wear a cape and tights? ....because , that might be a bit much .
 tinydancer123
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 63
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:23:21 PM
Two alphas who know how to be internally collaborative with each other and externally competitive (especially as business partners) are a knockout team that kicks ass.
 harviej
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 64
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:29:56 PM
I beta there is.





oooh. bad pun. bad.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 65
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:38:16 PM

Two alphas who know how to be internally collaborative with each other and externally competitive (especially as business partners) are a knockout team that kicks ass.

I'm guessing they would be very prone to turning on each other....when the crass materialism loses it's thrill .
 splitrock
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 66
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/26/2007 9:21:54 PM

Do you think there has always been Alpha Females


Absolutely, humans are social creatures and where there is an alpha male there is a similar alpha female counterpart. What you sometimes see in the workplace is a clash between the alpha female and the alpha male. These clashes are becoming more common as more women climb the corporate ladder. Of course, these conflicts are not much different than clashes between two alpha males fighting for power and control.



Then, they usually finish off with that they are looking for the same… which in its right mind would be the Alpha Male. Do you think this would be a relationship that is ultimately going to fail because of the competitiveness?


Generally, I believe that alpha males do attract their counterparts, alpha females. Of course, there are the cases when this does not occur. Alpha males can have their pick of alpha and beta females and often make their choice based largely on physical features (picking the most attractive female or trophy wife) Whereas, alpha females will often settle for beta males if they can provide the security and family the alpha female is ultimately seeking.

I think the only time (besides your standard personality profile compatibility match) an alpha male and alpha female match would fail would be in the case of an extreme clash between two similar and highly competitive personality types. I'm attracted to the educated and professional alpha female as an equal counterpart. Yet, I cringe at the thought of an alpha female with a highly competitive demeanor and whose life tends to revolve around her work.
 AccidentalTourist
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 67
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/26/2007 10:04:41 PM
I was an alpha female until I got too tired and ill to boss people around anymore, and it raised my blood pressure too. But now that I'm more mild-mannered I have more trouble with relationships because my usual dynamic has broken down. I'm still attracted to the same kind of dominant guy, but I no longer have the energy to stand my ground in the power-struggles. But since I still have a small amount of residual controlling behavior left in me I always feel weird around "softer" guys, like I'm worried I'm going to take advantage of them or something, so I don't date them for their "protection". Kind of a pickle, isn't it?
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 68
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:24:33 AM
If you follow the male model, and I suspect that it is probably best to use the same criteria, there are very, very few true Alpha females IMO. The primary hallmarks would be high achievement, aggressiveness and sexual attraction. In other worlds, the Alpha female is focused on leadership, achievements and looking good. She usually does not have children; if she does, she has a nanny. She is competitive, very ruthless and thus has a reduced amount of empathy and very little need to be liked – respected yes, liked no. She also has an innate sense of superiority and entitlement.

There are, indeed, many women who have achieved a lot in their lives but they fall short of meeting the requirements to be Alpha females. These women are “held back” because they are too compassionate, are more connected to community and family, and are consensus builders. This is great for relationships but is not going to have you “lead the pack”.

And nope, I’m not an Alpha; I was too fair and too nice to make into the “big leagues”, simply doesn’t fit my nature. To compare myself with my Alpha friends would be to confuse Achievement with Alpha. It is a very different kettle of fish.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 69
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:58:31 AM
Let me see if I understand Alpha, male or female: the idea of a leader of a group, to whom all the others turn to to make their decisions for them. Someone who will, when confronted by a member of the pack that does not conform, or when confronted by someone who is in their territory and does not do what the Alpha wants and demands, orders the pack to tear that person apart. As we live in a society that is against physical destruction, the modern equivalent would be emotional destruction, such as making life so unbearable for an office worker that she leaves her job.

I have seen this a few times in life. Sometimes it has been women in power, and sometimes she has just arranged herself in such a way that she is the top of her group. But either way, they have almost always been unbearably aggressive. Anyone else who was around them, either had to act as a subordinate, or keep well away for the entire area, or face humiliation, loss of reputation, vicious rumours, and a lot worse. No-one was their friend. No-one wanted to sleep with them. They had to be the Alpha, even above the males. They did have a few boyfriends, and sometimes a husband. But he was always a Beta.

The more common phrase for the Alpha female is the "office b*tch".

One thing I did see: if an Alpha female is in the same room as a more attractive and younger female, she must make the female lower than her in status. So she must make her so low in attraction and in respect of the other men that men would prefer to date the Alpha female than her. As none of the males wanted the Alpha female, because she is so competitive and such a b*tch, the Alpha female has to make the more attractive female to be considered incapable of being even considered for a relationship.

One approach is to make it seem like the woman is crazy. But the most common way is to turn her into a slut, by first telling all the players that she is a slut, and then befriending her, and convincing her that the players are worth dating, and keep convincing her, until she is so used by all the local players that she loses all of her self-respect, and acts like a slut, on her own.

In animal society, the pecking order puts Alpha females above all other females, and Alpha males above all other males. But this is only possible when the Alpha male keeps all other males away from the Alpha female, unless the male understands that he must do what the Alpha female says. Not because she is an Alpha, but because she is the mate of an Alpha male. The Alpha male is king. The Alpha female is his main wife. That is all she is.

Invariably, I have found that one person in the relationship ends up dominating the other. So, no, Alpha male + Alpha female only works when the Alpha female is an Alpha to all other women, but is completely dominated by her Alpha male. Anything else would be competition for the Alpha male.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 70
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:11:43 PM
ScorpioMover... part of what you are describing does not fit with the true Alpha Female, and why I believe there are very few true Alpha Females, but no shortage of Alpha wannabes. The Alpha females I have known and observed have such an innate sense of superiority that they do not lower themselves to attack other women in the manner you have described. That behaviour does happen of course, but it is coming from the wannabes not the real deal.
 Irreverent Lass
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 71
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:24:43 PM

ScorpioMover... part of what you are describing does not fit with the true Alpha Female, and why I believe there are very few true Alpha Females, but no shortage of Alpha wannabes. The Alpha females I have known and observed have such an innate sense of superiority that they do not lower themselves to attack other women in the manner you have described. That behaviour does happen of course, but it is coming from the wannabes not the real deal.


Margo, that is bang on exactly right. A true Alpha can sit quietly and just observe a room and without any effort be recognized.

A true Alpha is also least likely to be the office biotch. She's more likely to be the office advocate, speaking for others when they're afraid to for themselves and is generally quite popular. I know a few myself and I have respect and admiration for them. I count several amongst my friends and like the examples they provide me.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 72
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:26:29 PM
@Scorpiomover
With all due respect, the woman you describe is not an "Alpha" female. She's what they call a "Psycho" female.
Trust me on this, a true alpha female does not need to manipulate the lives of other people. Nor is a TRUE alpha female about appearance, education or wealth. She just IS an alpha female. Now the comment about her best relationship bet being a beta male, does make a certain amount of sense but I would certainly not call it an irrefutable truth.


Invariably, I have found that one person in the relationship ends up dominating the other.

Please do not use that finding as your benchmark for defining a good relationship.There are relationships where the 2 people work as a team. Of course, most of the time those 2 people stay together and will not be found on dating sites or in singles bars. Occasionally a team breaks down, or is broken up by death or some other interfering event( I said the 2 people work as a team...I did NOT say that either or both of them were perfect or infallible)
Has anyone ever asked you to think about why you are attracted to psychotic females,or why you think relationships are about one person dominating the other?
Cindy O
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 73
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:32:50 PM
Dang...last 2 posts, I was thinking the same thing.

The office boitch is not usually the manager or supervisor, if so....probably won't hold onto it for long, or there'll be incredible turnover.

People in leadership roles only get and manage to stay in those roles for certain reasons. They know how to manage and lead people, the best leaders lead by example. Not by having people cowtow to them, or letting themselves get involved in either office politics or the good old gossip network. Leading people is a huge responsibility nothing to be taken or used lightly or carelessly. People with overblown egos that have to make a lot of noise don't make good leaders.

A leader's strength isn't something they harp on or tout. Not invisible but it's felt without having to spoken of. Their pride is the same. Quiet, understated, and their pride is in what they've been able to accomplish through those they lead. For their own accomplishments, they're usually more humble and not needing to take the credit.

That may or may not fit with anyone else's definition of an alpha of either gender, but that's what comes to mind for me.
 csod64
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 74
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:43:58 PM
Yes. There are "Alpha Females". I don't have the time to read each post, but it is possible for strong male and female personalities to co-exist in the same house, workplace, and all places where men and women encounter each other on a daily basis. I don't know if I qualify as an "Alpha" or not. Yet I'm quite confident. I pose leadership characteristics. I know how to get things done. However, my personal life was a huge mess, once upon a time...I had to realize just exactly who I am and try to live life accordingly. Does it make me a ****? Only to the men and women who feel threatened by me. I'm not "domineering", but I can be abrasive if need be. Am I always so confident? Of course not. I can be vulnerable--but only when I feel comfortable with someone who I feel won't use it against me.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 75
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:51:17 PM
Yes - there are alpha females - sometimes found in wolf packs. Sorta similar to the human condition.

Joe
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