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 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 303
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
How the hell would you know anyway? Apparently alot of people are walking around with STD's and are not even aware of it. Go ask your doctor - it's true.
 CynthiaM
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 304
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:39:01 AM
Nope. Nyet. No. Nada. Non. Lo. No discussion.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 305
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:06:57 AM

One of my friends contracted herpes from her boyfriend while she was pregnant, because he never admitted to having it.

Ummm chances are he gave it to her while getting her pregnant.... or earlier...
He suddenly wouldn't have given it to her once she was pregnant... unless he cheated...
Either that or she had it for a long time before, no symptoms, and the stress and hormones of pregnancy triggered an outbreak....


Many women who have their first outbreak of genital herpes during pregnancy do not actually have a new infection - instead, the outbreak is the first symptomatic recurrence of a longstanding infection.
 Comebreakmedown
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 306
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/9/2008 11:49:15 PM
i bet 90% of the people that posted in this forum have already slept with someone with an STD
 theotherguy82
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 307
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 12:20:16 AM
If it's hepatitis, HIV/AIDS, syphilis (bear in mind it is curable, but only if caught before stage 3 iirc), or either hsv in the genital area that's a great big no. Sad but true.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 308
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 1:35:49 AM

would you ever date someone who has an std?

OP - That would be a great big Hell NO here. I strive to keep myself free from diseases, and I'd expect the same from my partner. Why should *I* put myself at risk just because they are "unfortunate"? Why should I cast aside my diligence to remain disease free because she was "unfortunate"? Sounds kinda selfish to me to expect me to have to take extra precautions and still be at risk just because "she's a person too". Yea I said it...selfish. There are dating sites that are out there and readily available for the "unfortunate" ones that have herpegonasyphilaids.

I found it all quite laughable to see so many denounce posters and their choice to not participate in relationships with the infected as "ignorant". The biggest laugh I saw was so many using wildly irrational statements like "victims" and "cheaters" and "rape" and "molestation". Really now...and these infections would account for what...less than 0.001% of the infections worldwide? You gonna try to tell me that the masses were all "victims" now? Please, get real.

People that have STD's/STI's are people too, and I acknowledge that. I just won't ever put myself in a position to be coupled with one who was/is infected. That ain't ignorant (as I'm well versed with the precautions and remedies available), that ain't rude, that ain't even a preference...it's a conscious choice. And it's a choice I will stand behind 100%. I don't have to justify my choice to anyone. It's your life and you live it how you want...it's my life, and I'll do the same.

Not telling a SO about your malady because you're afraid of the reprecussions is equally selfish, and in some places punishable by LAW. There are sites available that cater to the infected people out there, so my suggestion would be to fish in the right pond. Chances are you'll have better luck.

But don't cast stones at anyone 'cause they exercise a choice. Your selfishness, immaturity and insecurity by doing so shines through your words like a friggin' supernova. Really.

 christinaFromBoca77
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 309
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:22:17 AM
No, I wouldnt. I dont have any and expect the same of the person who Im with.
 Blu_byu
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 310
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 8:17:04 AM
NOPE-- would never KNOWINGLY date or sleep with someone with an STD. If she has one and fails to tell me about it, well, shame on both of us.
 Ice-ey9
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 311
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:12:31 AM
Thats a non-issue because it would simply mean that I would NEVER be engaged in any kind of sexual contact with the person. I don't need to risk my health just to get laid.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 312
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 10:09:07 AM

wel, lets be honest here, its not exactly the type of question you askout of the blue anyway, is it,
Like on your lst of must ask questions,
"Oh by the way, just out of curiousity, Do you have any STD's"
Oh you dont, thats fine, then we can go on a date then.....see my point?.


Actually, I put it in my profile under "first date". I request everyone have their paperwork ready if they want to date me. I pose it in a joking manner, but actually I'm being very serious.
 christinaFromBoca77
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 313
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 10:42:35 AM
Women run a risk of developing cervical/uterine cancer when exposed to HPV, which is why having multiple sexual partners is not only dangerous in terms of STD's but also can give you CANCER, yes..cancer! AIDS & CANCER!!!
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 314
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:18:17 PM
Christina from Boca says [Women run a risk of developing cervical/uterine cancer when exposed to HPV, which is why having multiple sexual partners is not only dangerous in terms of STD's but also can give you CANCER, yes..cancer! AIDS & CANCER!!!] Cervical, vulvar and vaginal cancer, yes; uterine, no. Cervical cancer is slow growing (10 years). Abnormal cells are easily detectable on a Pap test. Cervical cancer is 90% preventable - even a high-grade lesion can be treated and her Pap will generally go back to normal. In terms of multiple partners, the research says that most people acquire HPV at first intercourse.

Here in Canada, the law says a person with HIV is obliged to disclose before sexual activity. Yes, there are unscrupulous people who do not, but that's where a clinic "date" works for some.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 315
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:40:51 PM

Cervical, vulvar and vaginal cancer, yes; uterine, no.

Sounds too much like "Well, the car's a write-off..., body's shot, the engine's cracked, the windshields is broken, but it's not all bad, we can save that right front tire there...."
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 316
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:07:09 PM
m_church, you have a good sense of humour; but the fact remains that vulvar and vaginal cancers are rare and cervical cancer is preventable. Just wanted to clarify about uterine cancers.
 Chaz Brown
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 317
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:34:44 PM
This is a retarded question asked by someone who obvisouly has little imagination if this is the best they could do to add a new post. And only 13 pages of people commenting...

Chaz
 Phuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 318
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:39:44 PM
No, I wouldn't date someone with an STD (unless it was curable).

Relationships have enough problems without that, and I'm not Mother Theresa.

If you have an STD, you have my sympathy, but not a date with me.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 319
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/10/2008 8:40:23 PM
msg1 YES !!! if he is the only guy on this universe, it is better than nothing.......
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 320
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 7:48:30 AM
Look for those that are taking such a strong stand. An STD like herpes is not a death sentence. You can still have sex just have to be more thoughtful about it and wait til you are ok. HIV on the other hand IS most definitely a potential death sentence.

I have had friends who openly discussed that they had herpes with me. One female and one male. They actually had a group that used to meet up occasionally and just chat so they didn't feel like outcasts. I went and learned alot about it. It was better having the information than not.
 Fleurette
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 321
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:05:27 AM
**Yeah, that old "I'm allergic to latex" argument gets a lot of traction from some women, too, believe it or not.

I once had someone tell me that she was allergic to latex condoms. I told her I was allergic to having sex without condoms.

She didn't think that was very funny. Nothing happened between us.**

I happen to be severely allergic to latex...I can go into aniphyllaxis from being exposed to it, and have to carry an epipen on me just in case... (Needless to say my son's birthday parties are a little lame on the decorations)...

BUT...

A large portion of the population does not seem to know - A LOT of people are allergic to latex - And the condom companies do manufacture non-latex condoms (they are made of polyurethane)...They do the same job as a condom without the trip to the hospital afterwards or the blisters and hives that some of us get.

The only thing I have noticed is that most men are not so enthused about using them, they are not as form-fitted as latex condoms...
 Dempcey
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 322
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:12:15 AM
HELL NO! Not of any kind for ANY REASON!

So many prevention methods (and free to boot) out there and so MANY warnings.

And yet one has one or more?

This question makes me recall the bottom feeders that actually know they have a deadly disease such as AIDES/HIV, Hepatitis and try to pass it on. I'm VERY leery of any man that wants to bareback without having both been tested and then I'm STILL leery for he could have a moment of indiscretion. Blame my scariness on having been in the medical profession, I've seen and heard some horrific and truly heart breaking stories.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 323
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:44:11 AM
I would never date someone who has an std.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 324
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:47:13 AM
Personally I don't give a rat's a$$ WHAT a girl drives. If I like her and she likes me then we could date / have a relationship. We could always take my car if there was a problem ....

































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satisfied?
 Phuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 325
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/12/2008 10:34:04 AM
Of course you are supposed to say the politically correct thing here and say "Of course I would date someone with an STD."

But I think *most* people (even those who publicly say they wouldn't) would at least go a long way to avoid it if they could. And if they found out the other person had one, before falling in love, would get out of the relationship.

I once met a girl who was fvcking HOT as hell. We went on a few dates with no sex (for her it was worth the wait because she was so freakin' hot but usually ... no sex by date 2 and I'm gone).

On about the 4th date she told me she had something to tell me and told me she had herpes. I'll admit it was hard to let it go, but I did it anyway. Yeah, I felt bad for her, but honestly, I don't need that kind of problem in my life. I have enough of my own.

Obviously it is a big issue for someone with a problem like this as to when to tell the other person. On the one hand they are afraid of rejection, and on the other hand (hopefully) they don't want to trick them into developing feelings first and then springing on them.

As far as I am concerned, I need to know by the end of the first date. You don't necessarily have to say it on first contact as in "Hi I'm Lisa and I have herpes." But I want to know before I start making any kind of commitment. If you don't let me know then, you are deceiving me as far as I am concerned because you are letting me get in deeper than I should be without my having all the important facts about the potential relationship. I'll be pissed if you don't tell me by then.

Everyone has a burden to bear in their lives. That doesn't exempt you from being honest with other people.
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 326
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:03:52 PM
That was an excellent post, Phuck. I know a lot of people with things they need to disclose to a potential partner (herpes, mental health issue, recovering user) and they agonize over when to do it. You summed it up very well, I think.
 Naala
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 327
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/19/2008 7:19:01 AM
I think this question would be clearer stated differently. I think of it in terms of risk tolerance (not judgement or discrimination).

"What is your tolerance for the risk contracting an STD?
What would you be willing to do to minimize, or completely avoid the risk?
What is worth it to you to take the risk?"

Just like investing, some people are higher risk portfolio guys than others. Everyone has different risk tolerance. I know ANYONE would say they don't 'want' to get an STD, especially not an incurable one, even those who have them. Having an STD says nothing about a person's character or their sexual activity (those of you who say that are kind of uninformed/ignorant), but it is an important and consequential relationship factor.

I personally think it would complicate my relationship if my partner had one. I feel the same way about dating someone with kids who aren't mine. I would be dating with potential of getting married to them and I think blended families are really hard/complex and don't want to have to work that hard. In the same way I think the fact that I love the person I'm with, but would rather stay disease-free for my own future would make it tough for me.

It feels like a complication/difficulty I would not want in my relationship. I would feel the need to use a condom all the time even if we were married and that'd suck too. then there would always be that question every time we have sex... is this when I contracted it too? Why have that point to look forward to in your relationship? It is never zero risk.

I think it can be done, but it feels like a lot of psychological stress for the most beautiful relationship in your life doesn't it? I like things a lot simpler, life's a **** enough without additional voluntary complications. I could just date someone else.
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