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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > would you ever date someone who has an std?      Home login  
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 loverboi29
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 226
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I think that it all depends on the situation and how you were told. if it was because she had been whoreing around...than obviously no. but if she got it from a unfaithful partner or rape or something along those lines then i probably would. how could you punish somebody for something that they had no control over. i mean what if the question was would you date a guy with a small penis? or a girl with small boobs? im betting your attitudes would change, but yet its something you cant control. but yeah. if the girl was just a slut or something. then definatly not, that is just gross
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 227
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:19:55 PM
i mean what if the question was would you date a guy with a small penis? or a girl with small boobs?



I don't see a distinction here. They're all preferences; some men won't date women with small breasts, some women won't date men with small penises (penii??), and some of us are not willing to risk our health by knowingly dating someone with an STD. Why is it that something as shallow as penis or breast size is acceptable, but those of us that prefer not to gamble with our health are castigated for those preferences?
 RuUpForIt99
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 228
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:26:29 AM
Thank you so very much for your forward, honest and intelligent thread.
In my opinion...if i should feel free to express my self honestly? I am also very disappointed that people are still not educated properly about this topic. People "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER"
I feel society is still full of ignorance, close minded, small minded, narrow minded people out there with no true understanding or education for that matter especially on this particular topic. They should all contact "DR. SUE." You know that saying, and everybody uses it as gospel..."IGNORANCE IS BLISS"...well who ever came out with that saying was obviously very ignorant, in my own opinion. To me, ignorance is just ignorance no if, ands, or buts about it. People choose to be ignorant. Everything that you pretty well spoke about and commented on is so realistically true. This STD comes in many different forms especially the cold sores. That is the most common way of spreading and contracting this STD whether it be in the genital area or on any other part of your body...it's already in your system for life. People don't realize that until it happens to them...then they want empathy, compassion, understanding. People she's right. When innocent people are given this gift of life that they didn't choose because their partner (married or not) was cheating, sleeping around, being unfaithful...whatever the unscrupulous situation may be, they have been "VICTIMIZED", get it...NOT THEIR FAULT. DON'T JUDGE THE PERSON BECAUSE OF WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DID AND GAVE TO THEM. IT COULD ALSO HAVE BEEN OUT OF RAPE, SEXUAL ABUSE, MOLESTATION doen'st mean they are not good people. Stop and think about how they feel and what they have to carry with them for the rest of their life because of the actions and stupidity of someone else. You don't think they're SCARED particularily about telling people, how they are going to tell them, whether they will ever find anyone to be with them or even love them enough to have a meaningful long term unconditional loving relationship. These are deserving people just like everyone else. I've seen and heard this first hand from several friends of mine who have contracted this STD through unfortunate circumstances. I would have a longterm relationship with a person if i truly loved them and we took necessary precautions and medications. You're right...there is medication and precautions. We should all be taking precautions to begin with! Nobody wants to get a virus or a disease. I also hope that all of you that are ignorant to/in today's society will not only get educated and also realize that this is what today is...this is what it brings and Traylynn is right, how dare you condemn someone for being a victim! You may one day get some gift that you never wanted. And guess what...you will still want to be a "person" and you will need love too!

COME ON PEOPLE...DO SOME SERIOUS SOUL SEARCHING, CONNECT WITH YOUR SPIRIT, LEARN TO BE REALLY AND TRULY COMPASSIONATE AND EMPATHETIC WHEN IT COMES TO SERIOUS STUFF THAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR CONTROL LIKE AIDS, HEP, STD'S, ETC...I AM TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN TRULY VICTIMIZED NOT BY THEIR OWN ACTIONS BUT FROM SOMEONE ELSE. PEOPLE DON'T EVER STOP AND THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES AND HOW IT WOULD AFFECT ANOTHER UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE. WELL THAT'S EXACTLY IT...IT'S TOO LATE,THIS PERSON NOW HAS TO LIVE WITH YOUR IGNORANT ACTIONS FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND THEY PROBABLY ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THE H*LL ARE THEY GOING TO DO NOW ..NOTHING...DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE...HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT...NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES IS IT NOW...EH? ALL BECAUSE IT WAS PROBABLY ALL ABOUT SELF GRATIFICATION AND SELFISHNESS. IT SEEM PEOPLE JUST WANT WHAT THEY WANT AND WHO CARES HOW IT AFFECTS ANYONE ELSE. REMEMBER...WANTING SOMETHING DOES'NT NECESSARILY MEAN IT'S GOOD FOR YOU! BE PROACTIVE AND NOT REACTIVE AND JUST MAYBE...THE WORLD CAN BECOME A BETTER PLACE.
 RuUpForIt99
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 229
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:42:02 AM
"I think that it all depends on the situation and how you were told. if it was because she had been whoreing around...than obviously no. but if she got it from a unfaithful partner or rape or something along those lines then i probably would. how could you punish somebody for something that they had no control over."

loverboi29... I totally agree with u on this above mentioned comment..good for u...finally a man who does not judge the person but in this case the end result of the situation which would be totally out of he/she's control because they contracted the STD from an unfaithful partner, rape, etc...

I also agree with the point that if he/she was out whoring around purely out for their own self gratification then i to would not get involved with someone like that.

Point given, point taken...Thankyou
 RuUpForIt99
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 230
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:52:48 AM
To Mystlw

Yes, people do have the choice whether or not to get involved with someone with an STD or not but how shallow are u as to compare small breasts or any other body parts for that matter to a life long sentence of someone contracting this STD through the unscrupulous actions of someone who has been unfaithful.
 ForgivenFaith114
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 231
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:08:41 PM
Many people are uneducated about STD's.

Many times the ones who say the negative comments about those who have STD's are the ones very likely to end up contracting them. Many of these people are afraid to get tested themselves. They stigmatize anyone who has an STD so they ignore the very fact they may have put themselves at risk.

I've seen it happen. I work in healthcare.

Many of these same people also have numerous sex partners or engage in casual sex. This right there puts them at risk for contracting STD's. Of course you can get an STD just from one time but the more partners you have, the more likely you will end up sleeping with someone who has an STD.

I may get burned for this but I don't judge someone soley on having an STD. If it was hep b, c, or HIV then of course it would be a hell of a lot harder to have a long-term relationship with them. But, I am highly educated on STD's and their transmission. So, perhaps that is the reason for the fact I am not so quick to judge those who have STDs. They deserve relationships just like any one of us.

I have seen people who thought they were safe in their relationship but ended up getting and STD. You don't know when it could happen to you.

Condoms are not 100% fool-proof but they are highly effective in preventing the transmission of STD's.

Educate yourself before you form an opinion on someone who has an STD.
 xSeirenesx
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 232
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:20:26 PM
No I wouldn't. I think that having sex with someone with an STD and knowing about it and possibly contracting it just adds to the growing numbers of people getting infected with STD's and I don't want to help that growing number. Plus I have stayed nice and clean, I get tested every year and I want to keep it that way.
 Sarbux
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 233
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/18/2006 11:19:03 PM
I fell in love with a man who's got one, I didn't care, I loved him. I approached him about my feelings but nothing ever happened with it, he wanted to be closer to god instead. I respect him for that. I still love him. I've Never had sex with a person with std though. He has changed his life since getting it and has a more abundant life because of it. No one should judge anyone period, it's not our place to do so.
 RainMaiden
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 234
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/19/2006 7:42:32 AM
No. I've always been very careful of my sexual health, and I refuse to put myself, and future partners in jeopardy.

*note* I want to add that it's not a judgement of other people, that I choose not to put myself at risk.. it's simply self-preservation. I have always used protection. I've always been careful. And I've been raped, more than once, and I've had to go through the horrible waiting periods for certain tests to come back.. and I wouldn't be with anyone else during those test periods... because I didn't think it was fair to them. I feel for people who've contracted an STD due to situations beyond their control... but it is still my choice, and my body.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 235
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/19/2006 11:47:14 PM

To Mystlw

Yes, people do have the choice whether or not to get involved with someone with an STD or not but how shallow are u as to compare small breasts or any other body parts for that matter to a life long sentence of someone contracting this STD through the unscrupulous actions of someone who has been unfaithful.


Perhaps you misread my response. I was questioning why such shallow preferences as breast/penis size are considered more valid then actual health concerns. I've read threads in these forums in which people have stated that in no way would they consider dating a smoker/non-smoker, tall/short men or women, fat/thin people, men/women that do/don't like oral/anal, etc., etc.
Why is it acceptable to prefer to date someone of a certain body part size, but those of us that would not knowingly risk a chronic, lifelong disease are "discriminating" against those with STDs?
 RedneckHippy
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 236
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/19/2006 11:52:05 PM

would you ever date someone who has an std?


This is a toughy, lemme think about it for a bit.

Okay......ummm howsabout no
 TaraNC
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 237
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/22/2006 10:50:00 AM
mystlw....I agree with your last post whole-heartedly. I have read many, many threads here with ppl bashing things that ppl have no control over and its OK...in those posts.

Everyones favorite word in these forums appears to be "preferences"

Probably half the threads here are about preferences and most voice theirs openly, and thats fine, when you can bash fat ppl or skinny people, ppl with no teeth, ppl who live in the USA or not, ppl who have smelly breath or chewing gum on the first date, ppl who watch too much porn, ppl who cheat and lie, single moms and dads, blah blah blah.

We all get bashed on at least 1 thread. "but thats my preference and thats my right, but its the dating world and we all have preferences but "....fill in the blanks....we hear it all.

Preference... blah blah blah!! It's spoken in every single thread here. To each their own.



PEACE
 Estoile1
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 238
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:55:56 PM
I have herpes. You're an idiot. Neither can be cured. Isn't that comforting?
 SICILIANKISS67
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 239
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:45:10 AM
did nad whewwwwwwww thank god am healthy as an ox just not worth the risk anymore,basically stick with your own please and thank you!!
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 240
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 2/18/2007 11:59:06 AM
So then you'll stick with the ones who can't speak properly? :)
 SICILIANKISS67
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 241
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 2/18/2007 11:09:38 PM
shutup dorkfully
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 242
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:58:05 AM
no way,sorry but i would never do that!
 clark593
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 243
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 3:41:59 PM
If it was Jessica Alba I’d have to think about it.
 stangsnthangs
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 244
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:27:02 PM
I believe a similar thread is running elsewhere on here. I know, I posted on it. But anyways, I agree with the people who say that it's a preference. I have hsv2, and if the situation were reversed, I can't honestly say that I would want to date that person either. Yeah, I got it from my husband (now ex husband) He cheated on me with my best friend. She had confided in me that she had hsv2, but evidently, she neglected to inform my husband.

Life goes on! 1 in 4 people have hsv in one form or another. It's not like we lack for partners. So if you prefer not to date someone with an std, that's your choice, I, for one, will not hold it against you. But please, leave the hurtful comments out.

Thank You!
 melvaughn
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 245
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:52:15 PM

I was questioning why such shallow preferences as breast/penis size are considered more valid then actual health concerns. I've read threads in these forums in which people have stated that in no way would they consider dating a smoker/non-smoker, tall/short men or women, fat/thin people, men/women that do/don't like oral/anal, etc., etc.
Why is it acceptable to prefer to date someone of a certain body part size, but those of us that would not knowingly risk a chronic, lifelong disease are "discriminating" against those with STDs?


I agree with this statement. It's a bit ridiculous to see threads full of people saying 'oh they could never date someone who wouldn't 'swallow' and threads like "would you date someone who doesn't perform oral sex" and no one questions it, but when someone says they wouldn't want to put there health and life at risk, somehow they are judgemental. There is more credibility to a choice that will seriously effect your life than the threads on oral, anal and body shape.
 mmmnicky
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 246
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:01:36 PM
the ignorance of some posters is astounding..

for instance.. hep c.. is extremely rare to be caught by sex.. (and thats usually only in anal)

genital warts. are believed to be in 80% of ppl, only something like 1% of ppl actually show symptoms. and u cant test men for it unless they have the actual warts!

most std's are curable. except for herpes or aids.. and yeah thats a big turn off. but i heard a statistic lately (for some reason i have an amazing memory for stats lol) that if u had a long term partner with herpes and didn't sleep with them at time of outbreak and used no condom.. u only have 10% chance of getting it per year..

i guess its all about protection, getting regular tests and being aware!
 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 247
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:36:15 PM
This is funny shit your all saying NO well have you all been tested yourself for all you know you could have one and not know it and be passing it to other people. STDs arnt something anyone wants and in alot of cases it is the good ones that get it which is unfair but thats life. I have a very good friend who has an STD dosnt make her any less of a person and sure as hell shouldnt be held against her and i can tell you right now she is not a whore and i dont believe that she brought it on herself. It is was really hard for me to comfert her as i didnt know what to do or what to say to help her and she couldnt understand how she got it and she is very ashamed of herself now for it.
I think this thread is really unfair to those who are very unfortunate and have one.

And just so you know unless you get someone tested before you sleep with them you will never no if they had an STD or have one (just cause they say they dont dosnt mean they dont) so maybe you should think about that before being so harsh to those who are unfortunate enough to have one!!

The best way to not get one for all of you who are so sacred of it is to just not have sex!!!
 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 248
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:53:36 PM
Oh and by the way for all of you that say you have herpes
I did a assignment on STDs while i was at school and lernt alot of things like:
There is a drug that you can take twice a day for a year that reduces the chance of transmission by 95% and then with the added use of a condom again that halfs it so the chance of some one on this drug giving a sexual partner herpes is 2.5% that more safe then just using a condom.
It may not be able to be cured but there are ways to make your self safe not only for your comfort but for the comfort or others.
Also just playing it safe and like a few have mentioned get yourself tested it is the only way to really know what is going on with your body and to know if you are truly safe or not. I dont know about here in Australia but back home it is free for anyone under 25.
Just do it for the sake of your health and others and for peice of mind.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 249
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:15:15 PM
I have a very good friend who has an STD dosnt make her any less of a person and sure as hell shouldnt be held against her and i can tell you right now she is not a whore and i dont believe that she brought it on herself.


A question for you: if your friend had had the choice, would she have chosen to sleep with the person that gave her her STD? That's all this thread is asking; no one asks for an STD, and most people living with them are in some way betrayed by someone they trusted. But, knowing that a partner has one, I don't believe that the majority of people would take that risk, and your friend would probably be the first one to agree with that.
 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 250
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:20:21 PM
Yeah maybe but she didnt know like you you said it was her boyfriend at the time and he didnt tell her but i just feel that this thread is a bit harsh because it making it out like people with one are dirty and that they should all be tossed on a little island to all fester in there own filth. I dont think its unfair to not sleep with someone who has one if you have the choice, its your like your choice i just think that people need to ease up a bit on them.
I think a few of the comments are a bit harsh and a bit unfair.
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