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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > would you ever date someone who has an std?      Home login  
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 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 251
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 11 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Your facts my be correct but i did the research and talked to sexual heath doctors about it so i am only going by what i have been told. And there is more then one drug for this!!

And yes you are very right you cant get tested for it unless you request it. And even if you request it you cant get tested unless you have a visable breakout.
And for some people they will never know if they have it because you can be a carrier of it but never in your life get the visable signs of it.

This STD is a bit of a nasty one you can never get rid of it and just for the record you dont even need to have sex to contract it because if a partner has a cold sore and gives you oral you can contract it from that also. And i am sure no one wants to use a condom whilst giving oral now do they!
 stangsnthangs
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 252
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:21:22 AM
And even if you request it you cant get tested unless you have a visable breakout.
And for some people they will never know if they have it because you can be a carrier of it but never in your life get the visable signs of it.


There is a blood test for HSV, you don't have to have a breakout to get tested. You do have to wait long enough for the blood to build antibodies. (example, if you get tested the day after having sex with a new partner, the test will not have accurate results)
They test you for the antibodies. But you do NOT have to have a breakout to get tested.

This is the kind of misinformation I was referring to in my previous post. Maybe you did a study, but perhaps that study was outdated? Check the handbook I sent a link to in my previous post. Only in men with HPV, is there no test available unless there is a visible symptom.

Yes, there is more than one drug, but they are all basically the same thing.
 firefly1420
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 253
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:53:25 AM
I have 3 galfriends who have herpes...
each trusted someone in an exclusive(?) relationship, who betrayed her.

2 of them have actually discontinued dating because of the rejection when they tell a potential partner of their malady.

The 3rd continues to date, hoping she will someday find a partner who will accept it and not run like hell when she tells all.

I'd always thought myself above that behavior...and if I found someone I truly liked and admired, and we had a connection, but....he happened to have herpes....
I'd overlook it.

A few years ago, I was faced with that very decision. I did alot of research and even talked with people on a "herpes chatroom" The advice was mixed...about 50/50 pro/con.

I'm ashamed to say...I ran like hell.
 BurningCadence
Joined: 12/15/2006
Msg: 254
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:05:40 PM
When I was in grade school I had a wart on my hand. I went to the doctor and he sprayed nitroglycerine on it (I think that is what it is called, really cold stuff that is in a metal bottle) so that killed it.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that to my understanding all warts are caused by the HPV virus. Now that wart didn't make me ill or anything, it was just gross, so I wanted to get rid of it obviously.

Now, my thoughts on HPV anyway, are that if all the virus does is cause warts, what is the problem? Does the variant of the virus that causes genital warts lead to further complications, that other variants do not, or is it just a case of "Ewww, bumps down there."

It seems people have pretty strong opinions on not dating somebody with HPV, yet I doubt these people would have the same problem dating somebody who had a wart on their hand they were about to get removed.
 BurningCadence
Joined: 12/15/2006
Msg: 255
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:09:35 PM
Just to add, I do not think I would date somebody with any STD. Some STD's it is obvious, like HIV for example, I'm not goingto risk my life.

Others, like HPV as mentioned above, do not seem like a big deal to me, however, judging by the responses posted, getting a disease such as HPV or herpes would be very isolating. I'd rather avoid that.
 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 256
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:15:03 PM
I am not 100% sure on this but i am sure the genetal warts and herpes virus are two different things but dont quote me on that i could be very wrong.

It is a bit sad because like the lady prior said, you can get it when you least expect and from someone that you have trusted.
I would also like to add that not every case you get it is because your partner betrayed you it could be that they had been cheated on in a previous relationship got the virus and not known about it them selfs. Alot of people wouldnt think to get tested for a virus such as herpes when they dont have the visable signs showing. If there is nothing there they probley think they are 100% safe.

Also i can imagine (well not really) how it would feel for someone with it trying to start a life for them selfs and find some one that wouldnt run a mile. Its sad because people are so quick to judge and these people do deserve a life and deserve to have children and do deserve to be happy. Just because they have this virus dosnt mean they are dirty people and i just wish people would understand that!
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 257
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:23:44 PM

Now, my thoughts on HPV anyway, are that if all the virus does is cause warts, what is the problem?


I suppose, as a man, there wouldn't be a problem for you. You would, however, be in a position to spread the virus responsible for the majority of cases of cervical cancer to every single woman you slept with.


I am not 100% sure on this but i am sure the genetal warts and herpes virus are two different things but dont quote me on that i could be very wrong.


*sigh*
 ~curlygirl~
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 258
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 1:26:47 AM
statistically speaking...all of us at one time or another have (or will) dated someone who has an STI. lots of people carry HPV (warts) and have no clue, cold sores are pretty common and a type of herpes, and plenty of other STIs show no symptoms for years. however, if someone i was dating revealed their STI status, then i suppose my response would depend upon which STI was the issue.

HIV, is not something i'd feel comfortable risking...that would be a deal breaker for me. herpes and hepatitis are debatable, as it is possible to have an intimate relationship and minimize the risk of contraction...furthermore there are immunizations available for hep a & b, only c remains an issue. most varieties of HPV (warts) are benign and eventually clear the system. chlamydia, gonorrhea & syphilis are all curable by antibiotics and really not much of an issue provided both partners get treated to ensure re-infection does not occur.

STIs are such a broad range of diseases, and people really have to get over the stigma and educate themselves a bit better rather than being unrealisticly fearful.
 stangsnthangs
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 259
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:33:47 AM
HPV:

# There are over 100 HPV types.

# About 30 of these types are sexually transmitted and cause genital HPV.

# Genital HPV is spread through skin-to-skin contact, not through an exchange of bodily fluid.

# Genital HPV cannot be entirely prevented by condom use.

# This virus is often asymptomatic -- people usually don't know they have it.

# About 5.5 million new genital HPV cases occur each year -- this is about 1/3 of all new STD infections.

# About 20 million people -- men and women -- are thought to have an active HPV infection at any given time.

# Nearly three out of four Americans between the ages of 15 and 49 have been infected with genital HPV in their lifetime.

# HPV can be contracted from one partner, remain dormant, and then later be unknowingly transmitted to another sexual partner, including a spouse.

# Though usually harmless, some types cause cervical cancer if not detected in time.

# About 14,000 cases of cervical cancer are diagnosed in the United States each year.

# Over 5,000 women each year die of cervical cancer in the United States.

# The best way to screen for cervical cancer is a Pap test, which may be done alone or in combination with an HPV DNA test.

# The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommend that sexually active women and women age 21 and older should have an annual gynecologic exam in addition to Pap tests at regular intervals (the frequency of Pap tests can vary depending on a woman's age and the type of Pap test being done).

More info can be found here: http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_hpv_dysplasia.cfm#screening
 blue63
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 260
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 9:15:44 PM
Very well put. I would say the only way to prevent contracting an STD is having no sex at all. Condoms don't protect you
 Beachtime00
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 261
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History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 9:40:05 PM
Hey Buddy I really am allergic to latex. My dr said not to use lambskin but they do make 1 condom that is latex free. It does however state that it may or may not save your from std's but many dr told me thats what they use in the hospitals and it's a barrier thats free of latex. The FDA doesn't want to test them because of the fact that the test is very pricy and not enough people have an allergic reaction to it. I do and to tell you the truth it's not a good allergy to have. The condoms are thicker and don't have much give to them. It's made the same way a ziplock bag is made............serious..........

no glove no love
 Beachtime00
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 262
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 9:42:31 PM
yes vaginal warts can lead to cervical cancer
 from20to14
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 263
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 10:04:51 PM
I suppose I would only date someone who had an std if I had the very same sdt and he or she was aware of it and had no problem with it.
 littlemissb!tch
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 264
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/23/2007 10:33:01 PM
wtf kind of question is that?? if you wouldnt sleep with someone that had std's why do you think others would? im pretty sure no one ever wants to get one and it's very unfortunate that people do especially when its something that cant be cured
 stangsnthangs
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 265
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:41:56 AM
http://www.herpesonline.org/herpes_testing.html



There are currently five ways to diagnose herpes. It is unlikely that your doctor will know about all of them. Thus, it will be to your advantage to print out this page and take it to your physician’s office when you go for testing. In addition to identifying whether an individual is infected with herpes, a test ideally should also provide 2 other pieces of information: 1) location and 2) the type of herpes simplex (HSV-1 or HSV-2). Type and location are important for assessing transmission risks (e.g., partners with the same type of HSV are unlikely to contract the same type again [regardless of locale]. However, they have a good chance of contracting a new type of simplex).

1. CLINICAL EXAMINATION and an assessment of your previous symptoms (history) are very poor at detecting herpes. HSV symptoms are easily confused with other diseases (even by experts) or may present atypically (redness rather than sores), so it’s quite possible to get an incorrect diagnosis on this basis alone.

2. VIRAL CULTURE - Although this test has a high rate of false negatives (~50%), it is the most valid test available. Unlike blood tests, it requires the presence of active viral shedding (e.g., open sores). This test can distinguish between HSV-1 and HSV-2 and has the advantage of being able to identify the location of infection. If you get this test, be sure that your doctor requests that the culture be typed (e.g., HSV-1) – most labs will not report type unless specified.

3. POLYMERASE CHAIN REACTION (PCR) - PCR testing also requires the presence of active viral shedding. However, PCR is a more sensitive test than viral isolation and is also type specific. PCR is now available for commercial use but it may not be available at your doctor’s facility.

4. NON-TYPE SPECIFIC BLOOD TEST - Certain types of blood tests, like the older ELISA, will detect herpes, but it can’t distinguish between the two types of herpes simplex (HSV-1 & HSV-2). HSV-2 is the type usually associated with genital HSV infection, while HSV-1 is the type usually associated with oral HSV infection (i.e., cold sores). However, both types of HSV can infect either location. Non-type-specific ELISAs may be useful if patients have no history of HSV infection. However, because a significant proportion of the population is infected with HSV-1 (~70%), non-type-specific tests are usually inconclusive at determining secondary HSV infections (e.g., HSV-2) due to the amount of cross reactivity.

5. TYPE-SPECIFIC BLOOD TESTS - such as the Western Blot, *Focus Technologies HerpeSelect (herpesonline.org recommended) ELISA or Immunoblot test for both HSV-1 and HSV-2 and can distinguish between the two types of HSV. Active viral shedding is not necessary (unlike PCR or Viral Isolation) in order to detect HSV infection (even if you are not currently having symptoms). There is only one U.S. lab that processes blood samples for the Western Blot (University of Washington) so you may have to wait a week or more for your results (For Canadians, the WB can be processed at lab Virdae Clinic).

NOTE: Blood tests for the long-term IgG antibodies are generally reliable only after 12 to 16 weeks of infection. Please be aware that all blood tests have an error rate and that false negative indications are possible, while false positive indications are almost nonexistent. Within the first few weeks of infection, detection of early antibodies (IgM) may potentially be useful for diagnostic purposes (absence of IgG, but presence of IgM may indicate a new infection). IgM testing is limited in value because, at this time, it is not type specific.

Blood Test Information:

For information on the Western Blot, HSV Type-Specific serology, contact the University of Washington Community Services at (206) 598-6066. They can provide information on the test, ordering instructions and interpretation of the test results. http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/

If you’re located in Canada, you can order the Western Blot from Virdae. See also their info page on the Western Blot
 Jonathan85
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 266
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/24/2007 11:12:28 AM

I am not 100% sure on this but i am sure the genetal warts and herpes virus are two different things but dont quote me on that i could be very wrong.


They are different.

Warts tend to be persistant (not go away). I used to have warts on my hands, but through a mix of liquid nitrogen and a beetle extract they will removed (even the scar of the big one is almost gone).

Herpes is a virus that infects your nerves. It stows away far under the skin. When you have a "Flare up" the virus has propagated to the surface and has started to multiply as a pimple like mass. When the pimple breaks, it releases billions of the virus. That is why herpes is most infectious during a flare up. Mono is a type of herpes I believe, except it only flares up once (but it can still be infectious for the rest of your life, but again, it flares once so you feel sick with cold sores for three days).

While a person deserves to have a life. I really don't want to get an STD. Personally I think it is socially acceptable to have a date where a couple goes to get blood tested together (if someone doesn't feel comfortable getting tested with me, they definitely shouldn't feel comfortable having sex with me).

There are other ways to get an STD than sexual contact though (it just isn't as common). I plan to always use a condom during sex in a relationship. I might stop using them when I'm married (depending on the other options for contraception), but I am also inclined to use a condom during any sexual encounter that I don't explicitly want conception. I like the tightness of a condom, it helps maintain an erection before and after ejaculation, plus there is a lot less clean up.
 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 267
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:52:12 PM
ok this is compleatly off subject but you would have to be the first guy i have ever meet that likes having sex with a condom on. Most guys prefur the bareback approach as you can feel a hole lot more. But i guess you seem very safe and maybe have never tryed it without so you wouldnt really know the difference but that is a good thing u guess at least you are safe.
 Joquer
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 268
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/24/2007 3:32:44 PM
thats a tough one...

and i hate to say this...

but if i got to the point where i was going to be sexual with someone (i usually ask about the test or ask if we can go together...)

and they say they have something or have had something...

*shivers*

i just couldnt do it... even if they dont have it any more...

thats how paro i am...

*sighs*
~jo
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 269
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/24/2007 5:20:31 PM
I wouldn't if I knew... but the likelihood of someone both knowing and sharing that info is pretty slim.
 Essie_20
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 270
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/25/2007 1:05:34 AM
I think you can say you wouldnt but put yourself in their shoes what if you had one would you want to feel as isolated as you guys are making them feel would you want people to think this about you. Like it has been said before alot of the time the people who have caught the std or sti have not warrented it and dont deserve it. I think it is really unfair to be this harsh towards them as i know alot of people with them and they are no less of a person to me and i would not for a second judge them because of it or exclude them for it. And i dont think they should miss out on things in life like a relationship sex and the chance to have children!!!!!
 UtahBeauty
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 271
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/25/2007 2:39:34 PM
"EVERYONE has the right to make the decision as to if they would want to date someone that had an STD or not! Of course we do! But when stuff like this gets posted and people are like no never blah blah blah... It is just making those people with the STD more uncomfortable with sharing the fact that they have one! In my personal opnion! Ya you have every right to not want to get an STD from your partner, but when you are saying that you would never become romantically involved with a person with an STD then you are making those people find that they can not share this information with the person that they are closest to and then in the end you are going to f*ck yourself by pissing them off! "


i like your attitude!!!!! and i agree 100%
 sexybumblebee
Joined: 11/12/2005
Msg: 272
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/25/2007 2:54:13 PM
i have to agree with this statement, we would miss out on meeting a lot of great people if you let something that is so common and like a few people have said on here lots of people have them that are dorment and don't even know about them. anything that is like aids probably not but you never know who your true love is going to be. i would certainly find out what all the precaution should be taken from a professional.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 273
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:26:53 PM
i just couldn't but anyone reading this please don't lie to us clean ones now being afraid we will leave you..we will mostly but please let us know.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 274
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:27:45 PM
well if it was something non curable i mean
 Squirrel Hunter
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 275
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:04:52 PM
The Varicella zoster virus (VZV), also known as human herpes virus 3 (HHV-3), is one of the eight herpes viruses known to affect humans (and other vertebrates). Primary VZV infection results in chickenpox (varicella), which may rarely result in complications including VZV encephalitis or pneumonia. Even when clinical symptoms of varicella have resolved, VZV remains dormant in the nervous system of the host in the trigeminal and dorsal root ganglia. In about 10-20% of cases, VZV reactivates later in life to produce herpes zoster (shingles) and its associated sequelae including post-herpetic neuralgia, zoster multiplex, myelitis, herpes ophthalmicus, or zoster sine herpete.

VZV is closely related to the herpes simplex viruses (HSV), sharing much genome homology. The known envelope glycoproteins (gB, gC, gE, gH, gI, gK, gL) correspond with those in HSV, however there is no equivalent of HSV gD. VZV virons are spherical and 150-200 nm in diameter. Their lipid envelope encloses the nucleocapsid of 162 capsomeres arranged in a hexagonal form. Its DNA is a single, linear, double-stranded molecule, 125,000 nt long.

The virus is very susceptible to disinfectants, notably sodium hypochlorite. Within the body it can be treated by a number of drugs and therapeutic agents including aciclovir, zoster-immune globulin (ZIG), and vidarabine




Uh Oh!!!! Better ask potential partners if they have ever had Chicken pox!!!! Cause they have HERPES!!!! And thats an STD!!!

There is only one STD that I will avoid in a partner and that is HIV.......everything else is just a fact of life....get of your holier than now high horses people!!!
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