Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > would you ever date someone who has an std?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Fleurette
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 326
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 14 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
**Yeah, that old "I'm allergic to latex" argument gets a lot of traction from some women, too, believe it or not.

I once had someone tell me that she was allergic to latex condoms. I told her I was allergic to having sex without condoms.

She didn't think that was very funny. Nothing happened between us.**

I happen to be severely allergic to latex...I can go into aniphyllaxis from being exposed to it, and have to carry an epipen on me just in case... (Needless to say my son's birthday parties are a little lame on the decorations)...

BUT...

A large portion of the population does not seem to know - A LOT of people are allergic to latex - And the condom companies do manufacture non-latex condoms (they are made of polyurethane)...They do the same job as a condom without the trip to the hospital afterwards or the blisters and hives that some of us get.

The only thing I have noticed is that most men are not so enthused about using them, they are not as form-fitted as latex condoms...
 Dempcey
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 327
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:12:15 AM
HELL NO! Not of any kind for ANY REASON!

So many prevention methods (and free to boot) out there and so MANY warnings.

And yet one has one or more?

This question makes me recall the bottom feeders that actually know they have a deadly disease such as AIDES/HIV, Hepatitis and try to pass it on. I'm VERY leery of any man that wants to bareback without having both been tested and then I'm STILL leery for he could have a moment of indiscretion. Blame my scariness on having been in the medical profession, I've seen and heard some horrific and truly heart breaking stories.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 328
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:44:11 AM
I would never date someone who has an std.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 329
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:47:13 AM
Personally I don't give a rat's a$$ WHAT a girl drives. If I like her and she likes me then we could date / have a relationship. We could always take my car if there was a problem ....

































messages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be postedmessages this short may not be posted etc

satisfied?
 Phuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 330
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/12/2008 10:34:04 AM
Of course you are supposed to say the politically correct thing here and say "Of course I would date someone with an STD."

But I think *most* people (even those who publicly say they wouldn't) would at least go a long way to avoid it if they could. And if they found out the other person had one, before falling in love, would get out of the relationship.

I once met a girl who was fvcking HOT as hell. We went on a few dates with no sex (for her it was worth the wait because she was so freakin' hot but usually ... no sex by date 2 and I'm gone).

On about the 4th date she told me she had something to tell me and told me she had herpes. I'll admit it was hard to let it go, but I did it anyway. Yeah, I felt bad for her, but honestly, I don't need that kind of problem in my life. I have enough of my own.

Obviously it is a big issue for someone with a problem like this as to when to tell the other person. On the one hand they are afraid of rejection, and on the other hand (hopefully) they don't want to trick them into developing feelings first and then springing on them.

As far as I am concerned, I need to know by the end of the first date. You don't necessarily have to say it on first contact as in "Hi I'm Lisa and I have herpes." But I want to know before I start making any kind of commitment. If you don't let me know then, you are deceiving me as far as I am concerned because you are letting me get in deeper than I should be without my having all the important facts about the potential relationship. I'll be pissed if you don't tell me by then.

Everyone has a burden to bear in their lives. That doesn't exempt you from being honest with other people.
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 331
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:03:52 PM
That was an excellent post, Phuck. I know a lot of people with things they need to disclose to a potential partner (herpes, mental health issue, recovering user) and they agonize over when to do it. You summed it up very well, I think.
 Naala
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 332
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 10/19/2008 7:19:01 AM
I think this question would be clearer stated differently. I think of it in terms of risk tolerance (not judgement or discrimination).

"What is your tolerance for the risk contracting an STD?
What would you be willing to do to minimize, or completely avoid the risk?
What is worth it to you to take the risk?"

Just like investing, some people are higher risk portfolio guys than others. Everyone has different risk tolerance. I know ANYONE would say they don't 'want' to get an STD, especially not an incurable one, even those who have them. Having an STD says nothing about a person's character or their sexual activity (those of you who say that are kind of uninformed/ignorant), but it is an important and consequential relationship factor.

I personally think it would complicate my relationship if my partner had one. I feel the same way about dating someone with kids who aren't mine. I would be dating with potential of getting married to them and I think blended families are really hard/complex and don't want to have to work that hard. In the same way I think the fact that I love the person I'm with, but would rather stay disease-free for my own future would make it tough for me.

It feels like a complication/difficulty I would not want in my relationship. I would feel the need to use a condom all the time even if we were married and that'd suck too. then there would always be that question every time we have sex... is this when I contracted it too? Why have that point to look forward to in your relationship? It is never zero risk.

I think it can be done, but it feels like a lot of psychological stress for the most beautiful relationship in your life doesn't it? I like things a lot simpler, life's a **** enough without additional voluntary complications. I could just date someone else.
 Telenochek
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 333
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:33:36 PM
The short answer is yes.
Not saying contracting an STD is one of my future goals, but it's not the end of the world, it depends on the STD, and how serious the relationship is.
It just requires a little more work.

The stigma attached to many STD's by the "us clean people" crowd is regrettable, as it simply demonstrates lack of education, rather than prudence. Oh yes, it is also hypocritical in most because 70% of all people carry one or more STD.

It's even more regrettable to hear people say: "I got tested for them all, and I don't have it, therefore I'm clean!!!". Well, you know, for many dormant types, unless you do it during an outbreak it will not get detected, save for a really expensive test.

70% of all people carry multiple STD's (how about HSV-1 = herpes type 1 combined with a type of HPV ?).

Ignorance is bliss!
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 334
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:45:27 PM
Answers are irrelivant, in today's world, odds are you probably already have. That's why protection is a must! And when you get past the inital phase, testing would be proper. Then you can do the pill, or some other form of contraception, and let loose with each other, as long as you are totally into each other and responsible for one another. But they aren't all "life sentences", some can be cured with antibiotics, and you get a second chance to learn from your mistake(s).
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 335
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 1/28/2009 8:27:22 PM
Knowing that she had an STD, no. No matter how hot she is, not worth it.
 rebelcat
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 336
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:21:23 AM
Well congradations, i read these from time to time and yours is the smartest answer ive seen. I have hsv2 and i didnt get it from sex i got it from recieving oral of not a radom date but a boyfriend who didnt inform, it is a skin on skin contact. I read these and shake my head at the ignorance in some of the asnwers. And it is sad to say that unless you ask for theat test it self they dont give it to you , hence the the 1 in 4. Good luck on your search.
 dkingsley
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 337
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2010 6:17:18 AM
Hate to dig up a really old thread but its personally very disappointing that I just read 14 pages of bickering and people need to be educated.

I first got symptoms of oral cold sores (aka hsv1, aka herpes) in the 3rd grade. I remember it was picture day for the yearbook and I had multiple noticeable sores on my lips. Awesome, just what a kid loves to find out in his first year at a completely new school. When I was given the opportunity to re-take my yearbook photo I blinked. Great, which picture do I choose now? Although at that point I wasn't too concerned about it. Being so young I was more worried about my next little league game but its definitely been a burden later in my social life.

Guess what? I wasn't raped, molested, sexually abused, irresponsible, dirty, unhealthy or any other derogatory word you can think of. I contracted the virus most likely from kissing my own mother at a young age who also has hsv1 orally and has had it since she was a kid. Do I blame her? Hell no, Id live with it all over again. No way could I expect a loving mother to never kiss her little boy or share a drink with him through his childhood. That's absurd.

To those of you that choose not to date someone solely because of an STI is way more disgusting than the random cold sore I get once or twice a year. Also notice I said date, I didn't say have an intimate relationship with. How many of you have dated someone without having sexual relations who were perfectly "clean and healthy"? Even if it didn't work out as a couple I bet some of you found great people and great friends that way.

Its those ignorant people that are truly the "irresponsible" and "dirty" ones mentally!!!!
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 338
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2010 6:14:20 PM
Msg1: If you don't have an STD ,would you date a person with STD ?
unless that person is the last one on earth and you are that extremely horny that is exceptional case..
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 339
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2010 6:48:58 PM
I haven't considered cold sores as a STD. I thought it is just a simple skin disease? So it could be transfered if you have cold sores and then have sex. But aren't most skin diseases transferable? Sorry I know this sounds stupid but please educate me on this.
 Elgalawaat
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 340
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2010 10:56:32 PM
No way in Hell. Who wants to get himself in trouble.
 cheaterj
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 341
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/2/2010 7:05:43 AM
Cold sores are most definitely an STD called oral HSV-1

During oral sex, a person with oral HSV-1 can transfer it to another person's genitals. This is true even if the person does not have a visible cold sore at the time - which is why the spread of Herpes both type 1 and type 2 is greater than you think -

Most of the posters here probably already have it and don't have a clue - self-righteous **stards- passing it along and then refusing to date people that others like them have unknowingly affected. Sad really.

The people who get the symptoms get ****ed over three times - they have to deal with the outbreaks and the stigma and the lack of sex- the symptomless people who infect them just get to ****.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 342
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2010 5:35:07 AM
I have never had a cold sore ..but when I was a teen before we ever heard about herpes ...I dated and kissed and had sex with a girlfriend who had them all the time .... and yes I have kissed her when she had one ... I have never been tested for herpes ...but do realize that I could have it ...

so if you including herpes and other non fatal STDs ... I would definately date a woman who had one ... we would be careful and use all reasonable precautions ... but I think your danger is greater from the ones who dont know they are infected
 Fresh fish is best fresh.
Joined: 7/29/2010
Msg: 343
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2010 5:40:47 AM
I am sure most probably already have, but got lucky and did not contract anything. Let's not be naive here. Those illnesses are out and about, and they have to come from somewhere. Also from what I have read in the other forums, dating does not equal making love, dating is just dating without any physical contact, but of course everyone tells the truth these days.
 NYRon1967
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 344
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2010 12:38:03 PM
Well a few years ago i had a first meeting in public with a nice lady, we ate lunch and walked around port jeff (nice by the water town) for three hours. When it came to say goodbye , i was going to give her a quick kiss goodbye and had every intention of seeing her again, till she dropped the bomb on me. She had/has AIDS.

That was the end of that!
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 345
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2010 12:56:52 PM
No.

But really, with the high infection rates, is it inconcievable that any of us have gone on dates with someone who's infected? Lots of people don't even know they are, you know...
 Carm0n
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 346
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2010 2:27:03 PM
would you ever date someone who has an std?

NO
 D4vD4n
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 347
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/4/2010 1:47:50 PM
ive noticed most if not all the women in this post has said a straight "no".

this is funny as std's and sti's can come and go. some stay with you for life some just disapear.

My answer would be to have a relationship to find this out, would result in forcing them down the doctors to see if he/she still currently has them. if he/she doesnt then its fine, if not then no thanks. Having an sti or std can also determine what type of person you are as most of these appear when that person regularly sleeps about. this hints to me that this person is likely to cheat and is bad material, however, std's can mean only having sex once but with the wrong person, resulting in living with it for life. For me, i would decide dependant on the situation and in the current relationship im with.

this thread seems to point out that if you have and std or sti once then your a criminal which means your not gunna have sex with them at all, like ever. the fact is some std's arnt perminant but some are. same goes for the sti's.

my overall answer would be "no" dependant on the std and sti, and whether he/she still has it. a check would be needed and knowing which sti or std he/she did have will result in my decision.
 D4vD4n
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 348
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/4/2010 1:51:56 PM
i guess the next factor is whether or not anyone would even dream of telling you whether you had and std or sti before...
slot who have had std's and sti's keep quiet about it. so even if you didnt know, and your partner said "i dont", your still at risk. trust is one thing but lieing is another.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 349
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/4/2010 3:37:05 PM
When I started dating my G/F it was an issue that came up... She had been a swinger and knew that it placed her in a high risk category. They always used condoms. She has had a couple of STD's in the past when she was swinging and one of her Ex's was dying with AIDs... (He died last year finally...) So when we started dating, we didn't get involved until both of us had gone through a full range of testing and then another round of testing 3 months later to make sure.
That's about as close to dating someone with an STD that I ever want to get...
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 350
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/4/2010 4:11:23 PM
^


I don't have one just wondering how many people would date a male/female if they had contacted an std from a previous lover.




I wouldn't personally cuz I don't want anything just wondering what ya'll think of it.


err, I guess the OP means, if you KNEW that the person had an STD ?

many people who say they would not, probably HAVE dated someone with an STD (that they were unaware of)
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > would you ever date someone who has an std?