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 SweetieGuy_81
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 76
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Well, a woman having any form of aids wouldn't stop me from dating them, it would stop me from having sex with them though.

Everyone deserves companionship, no matter if its a non-sexual thing, everyone deserves someone to hold and spend time with.

All i would want is to know before anything happens and i am sure everyone would agree with me there.
 knees
Joined: 11/1/2004
Msg: 77
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/16/2006 7:47:24 PM
I was in the situation once, and I did date someone with an std, but I didn't feel a bond with him as soon as I had liked, and we never ended up doing anything more the kiss. It's not fair to limit myself or to discriminate against them because of it. Now mind you I wouldn't have sex with them until I was sure that this was a long term thing, and then, I would be super weary of what could happen.
I have a feeling, however, that it is possible that me and everyone I know has been exposed to something at some point. There's an epidemic of HPV these days.

I would hate to think that I would go and get a pap smear done only to find out that I had something quiet like hpv, that my cervix was destroyed, and then to think that no one would ever want to be with me. People don't need to live with both an incureable disease and the knowledge that no one will ever want to be intimate with them ever again.
 gken
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 78
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/16/2006 7:49:54 PM
Why does sex mean so much so fast? And all those that say no,unless you live alone forever,who knows. I'm lucky right now. No troubles like that,but you never know.Can't people have fun ,& have safe type sex.I think hands work well & both can be very happy.
If you fall in love see a doc & ask what to do.
Ken
 mike1991
Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 79
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:19:35 PM
I think before someone passes judgement on somone they should do their reserch as to what they have.I mean everyone has something or other be it a std,high blood pressure,a cold or whatever.Dating is a hard enough,and there are far too many narrow minded people as is.With all the std's out there i would say the chances are if you have had sex you have come in contact with something or other and by luck or using protection you did not contract it.I would date someone with a disease be it std or whatever,provided I'm informed and safe.
 ChrisHoogstraten
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 80
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:52:56 PM
There is absolutly no way I would consider dating a person with an STD. why spread more infection?!
 oceanpearl202
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 81
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/16/2006 9:39:16 PM
I'm itching just reading this.lol.

I would never be able to date anybody with and STD. You only have one go before you're stuck with it for the rest of your life. **** That!

OP
 Traylynn
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 82
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 3:59:42 AM
Thankyou

someone that is an educated person thinks before he speaks... I wrote this for a herpes forum but it applies here:

I am so disappointed to hear such negative attitudes about stuff like this. Hopefully people will become more educated and lighten up.

First off, how many people suffer from cold sores? Big ugly facial sores that are exposed to the public and what...that's totally acceptable right? Where do you think herpes come from? What's on the face is the same below the waist!!!!!!

Most of the time people who have it down below came from some one's lips on the face...however North can go South but South doesn't go north....HSV2 doesn't like it cold so doesn't live on the lips so you are relatively safe with oral, not getting it on your face from down below so feel free to tease!

Yes there is a possibility to spread it without a outbreak, but I have friends...she has had it many years, have been given the gift that keeps on giving, yet her partner of 11 years hasn't got it yet and they have bare raw sex, always have always will.... another girlfriend has had it 20 years married 8 years, two children and nothing...and they have great sex! A male friend has it, did pass it once because he didn't know he had it!

1 out 5 people have the virus. If you think you haven't been with someone who has it, or a form of, you are sadly mistaken!!! If you think you can't get it because your partner is "clean" wrong! And YES! Most people who have Herpes DO NOT KNOW! Sometimes you can have a rash, a bump, an insect bite type thing, a scratch, a numb feeling, chaffing, a yeast infection and guess what.......that could be HERPES! And it's possible to only have it once and never have a symtom again....BUT YOU HAVE IT FOR LIFE! Doesn't mean that your partner will ever get it and doesn't mean that you will ever pass it and it also doesn't mean that you know that you have it!

EDUCATE YOURSELVES PEOPLE!!!! THIS IS REALITY 70% OF OUR TEENAGE POPULATION HAS A FORM OF IT, 1 OUT OF 5 PEOPLE HAVE IT!!!! 80% OF INFECTED VICTIMS DON'T KNOW THEY HAVE IT!

Do you know that chicken pox, shingles, cold sores, are all Herpes related! Don't be so quick to judge. Judging is ignorance. Get educated!

I wouldn't have a problem dating someone and sleeping with someone with Herpes. There is medication and precautions. We should all be taking precautions to begin with! Nobody wants to get a virus or a disease, but who has the rights to condemn a victim of an STD? Would you cast out a cancer victim?

Besides, you are at risk all the time for STD's, besides Chlamydia...which is highly transmissable and all over out there...how would you like that in your mouth?, there is crabs and gardnella, syphlis, gonorrhea, candidiasis which is rampet, warts, HSV, PID,Trichonomiasis, HBLV, PPV, Hep B Hep C, HIV, AIDS, ONE HELL OF A WAY TO LEARN THE ALPHABET ISN'T IT??????

My point is, get educated, you are not exempt from this...people with Herpes are not bad people and people who are scared of it aren't either, but don't judge and don't think for a second that you can't have a normal and healthy sex life with a Herpes infected partner. A person is more than the herpes they have. Remember this if you don't remember anything else

A COLD SORE ON THE FACE IS NO DIFFERENT BELOW THE WAIST!!!!

Get educated and give it a break....
Traylynn

I hope that all of you that are ignorant to today's society will not only get educated and also realize that this is what today is...this is what it brings and how dare you condemn someone for being victim! You may one day get some gift that you never wanted. And guess what...you will still want to be a "person" and you will need love too!
 arlie1969
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 83
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 4:06:49 AM
if my feelings for that person were genuine than definently,no one sets out to get something it just happens,every please be safe ,but dont punish some one for being a victum of a bad situation....
 Esperanza143
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 84
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 4:57:53 AM
Statistically over 70% of those who are saying "no way, not me" are carrying HPV and do not even know it and never will. Only apx. 30% will every have outbreak...so don't all be such puritans.There is a huge potential for all unless you practice the strictess standards of universal precautions.
 ripley65
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 85
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 5:30:38 AM
not only no,,but hell no!
 knees
Joined: 11/1/2004
Msg: 86
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 10:45:23 AM
Good job, Traylynn !!
 pinky_love
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 87
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 12:01:25 PM
You know what I felt the same way you all guys do, but I met the most wonderful guy and ya unfortunatly he has a std... It scares the shit out of me cause I dont want to get it but thats the risk Im willing to take for him!!

When you love someone you love them completely with all their faults!!

Sorry people thats just my feeling on it.....

If was just a random guy then no I wouldnt date him!!

I dunno my case is just different......sorry dont hate!!!!!!
 ~Lipsmacka
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 88
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 12:14:40 PM
Date??? Sure why not.....
Sleep with??? NOT!!
 Enryk
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 89
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/28/2006 4:03:35 PM
To answer the OP, I agree with Lipsmacka.
Date yes, have sex with them? knowingly not. It would take a good love relationship and a lot of education and communication in order to start an active sexual relationship.

Now, I want to refer to two things...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) let's talk EDUCATION.
Instead of vomiting any % numbers to your face, I'll give you this link.
Bare and simple. Choose your STD and read about it.
It is a good start. You'll realise that most people do not know they have STDs, so chances are that they'll say they are "disease-free" regardless...

http://www.cdc.gov/std/HealthComm/fact_sheets.htm
-------------------------------------------------------------------------


2) HPV transmission from skin to skin...
Yes, HPV causes ONE STD but also is a player in other non-STD diseases.
So yes, you can get it from touching, but it is not going to travel all the way to your cervix magically.

This is a small excerpt from the "Harrison's Principles of Medicine"
(Chapter 169 Human Papillomavirus infections, 16th edition).
You see this book in any decent Dr's bookshelf.
(I have to state here that I do this for health educational purposes
and without any intention to break any copyrights)



EPIDEMIOLOGY
There are few good studies of the incidence or prevalence of human warts in well-defined populations. Common warts (verruca vulgaris) are found in as many as 25% of some groups and are most prevalent among young children. Plantar warts (verruca plantaris) are also widely prevalent; they occur most often among adolescents and young adults. Condyloma acuminatum (anogenital warts) is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases in the United States. HPV infection of the uterine cervix produces the squamous cell abnormalities most frequently detected on Papanicolaou smears.
...

CLINICAL MANIFESTATIONS
The clinical manifestations of HPV infection depend on the location of lesions and the type of virus. Common warts usually occur on the hands as flesh-colored to brown, exophytic, and hyperkeratotic papules. Plantar warts may be quite painful; they can be differentiated from calluses by paring of the surface to reveal thrombosed capillaries. Flat warts (verruca plana) are most common among children and occur on the face, neck, chest, and flexor surfaces of the forearms and legs.



I am happy to discuss these things in more specific detail if anyone interested.
 RBM
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 90
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/29/2006 6:10:15 AM
Originally posted by Traylynn


Thankyou

someone that is an educated person thinks before he speaks... I wrote this for a herpes forum but it applies here:

I am so disappointed to hear such negative attitudes about stuff like this. Hopefully people will become more educated and lighten up.

First off, how many people suffer from cold sores? Big ugly facial sores that are exposed to the public and what...that's totally acceptable right? Where do you think herpes come from? What's on the face is the same below the waist!!!!!!

Most of the time people who have it down below came from some one's lips on the face...however North can go South but South doesn't go north....HSV2 doesn't like it cold so doesn't live on the lips so you are relatively safe with oral, not getting it on your face from down below so feel free to tease!

Yes there is a possibility to spread it without a outbreak, but I have friends...she has had it many years, have been given the gift that keeps on giving, yet her partner of 11 years hasn't got it yet and they have bare raw sex, always have always will.... another girlfriend has had it 20 years married 8 years, two children and nothing...and they have great sex! A male friend has it, did pass it once because he didn't know he had it!

1 out 5 people have the virus. If you think you haven't been with someone who has it, or a form of, you are sadly mistaken!!! If you think you can't get it because your partner is "clean" wrong! And YES! Most people who have Herpes DO NOT KNOW! Sometimes you can have a rash, a bump, an insect bite type thing, a scratch, a numb feeling, chaffing, a yeast infection and guess what.......that could be HERPES! And it's possible to only have it once and never have a symtom again....BUT YOU HAVE IT FOR LIFE! Doesn't mean that your partner will ever get it and doesn't mean that you will ever pass it and it also doesn't mean that you know that you have it!

EDUCATE YOURSELVES PEOPLE!!!! THIS IS REALITY 70% OF OUR TEENAGE POPULATION HAS A FORM OF IT, 1 OUT OF 5 PEOPLE HAVE IT!!!! 80% OF INFECTED VICTIMS DON'T KNOW THEY HAVE IT!

Do you know that chicken pox, shingles, cold sores, are all Herpes related! Don't be so quick to judge. Judging is ignorance. Get educated!

I wouldn't have a problem dating someone and sleeping with someone with Herpes. There is medication and precautions. We should all be taking precautions to begin with! Nobody wants to get a virus or a disease, but who has the rights to condemn a victim of an STD? Would you cast out a cancer victim?

Besides, you are at risk all the time for STD's, besides Chlamydia...which is highly transmissable and all over out there...how would you like that in your mouth?, there is crabs and gardnella, syphlis, gonorrhea, candidiasis which is rampet, warts, HSV, PID,Trichonomiasis, HBLV, PPV, Hep B Hep C, HIV, AIDS, ONE HELL OF A WAY TO LEARN THE ALPHABET ISN'T IT??????

My point is, get educated, you are not exempt from this...people with Herpes are not bad people and people who are scared of it aren't either, but don't judge and don't think for a second that you can't have a normal and healthy sex life with a Herpes infected partner. A person is more than the herpes they have. Remember this if you don't remember anything else

A COLD SORE ON THE FACE IS NO DIFFERENT BELOW THE WAIST!!!!

Get educated and give it a break....
Traylynn

I hope that all of you that are ignorant to today's society will not only get educated and also realize that this is what today is...this is what it brings and how dare you condemn someone for being victim! You may one day get some gift that you never wanted. And guess what...you will still want to be a "person" and you will need love too!


Exactly Traylynn!

There is no lack of information about STDs on the 'net. And educating oneself is of paramount importance! Just be sure when checking online sites for info that they are bonafide and not trying to sell you, or someone else (research grants) something.

I have a couple of online lady friends who live in other states that I would consider dating and having a possible relationship with. I've "known" one woman online for years, the other for several months. They are each articulate, intelligent, and smokin' hot. One has HSV 2 and the other has HSV2 plus HPV. Each has told me that they positively will not date me because they do not wish to pass the infection(s) along. So they each have scruples as well.

Even though it would be my choice to accept their "gift" as part of a LTR, it was a no-go for me with them!
 XJaiX
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 91
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/29/2006 4:38:27 PM
I will put myself out there for a sec and say that I am offended. Do you all think that just because someone has an STD that makes them dirty or something.....then there are others saying take precautions.....I was with my ex for 5 years and we always wore condoms. She was messing around behind my back and ended up giving me an STD even though we used protection and I thought we were in a serious relationship. Like you people don't think it is hard enough for us then we have to listen to a bunch of people say "ewwww" and that you wouldn't give that person a chance. Personally with an attitude like that it is no wonder you are still on a dating site trying to find someone. Open your minds people.....just because I have something doesn't change the person I am. I am glad I found my girlfriend. She is my everything and you know what....she doesn't care that I have it and she doesn't which also shows me how special I am to her.
 Simlasa
Joined: 10/30/2004
Msg: 92
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/29/2006 5:25:59 PM
I never have (that I know of)... but given a perfect set of circumstances otherwise an STD wouldn't hold me back... but I wouldn't do it casually.
 ripley65
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 93
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/29/2006 7:07:50 PM
XJaiX,,,,,,those of us who wouldnt are answering the question to a thread! If we dont want to date someone with an STD,,thats our choice. Doesnt make us close minded,,,makes us cautious despite condoms and being careful. :)

But,,,,hey i think its great that you found someone who doesnt care that you have it! Good luck!
 getdial
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/29/2006 11:51:04 PM
^5 traylynn

and to all the rest - haha dang! she told you!

again, good job traylynn
 Aicerno
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 95
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/30/2006 12:43:25 AM
It's an interesting dilema that. The way I've been interpreting the posts is that every single person who has said hell no--seems to be interpreting the word 'date' as 'would you have sex with someone who has an std?'. So in other words, a guy or girl tells you on the first date that they have an std; and then all of a sudden they get the verbal equivilent of a firing squad? Small wonder that people don't like talking about the subject period despite it's importance.

At the same time, YOU are just as much a stranger to them as they are to you on that first 'date.' That's why it's the 'first date.' Now, if it's a regular habit to have sex on the first date for both, then I can understand the reason for the concern; but when the waters are being tested so to speak, and trying to find out what makes their potential mate/friend tick, with sex being relatively set on the back-burner for the time being... I am made to wonder at how many people are being deliberately pushed aside out of this fear. Which on one hand is reasonable, and yet at the same time is irrational too.

If twere but the world was a safe place... but the only guarantee you'll ever get on the day you are born--whether it's a car crash, a plane crash, an std--some of which are treatable, some are fatal--or other...is that you will never, ever make it out of this world alive. And as the old truism goes, every thing is a poison... it's all a matter of dosage. People 'date' because of an inherent need to socialize--it's that social networking that promoted our propagation as a species, as well as ensured protection for the various families from predators as well as warring clans.

And with the complaints about the lack of honesty in today's society; if a person were completely honest on the first date about their having an std... and received such treatment, I would say that the accuser is guilty of bad miscommunication--apparently communicating through the internet counts as a date, where as to the maligned party, they perchance were waiting to meet in public so as to best gauge the reception to the news (and so, they counted their 'first date' for the first time that they met in public). So instead of being treated like another human being, they end up being treated like a statistic from some medical newsjournal and then dismissed as though they had no personal feelings or stake in the matter? Me thinks there is something ill in the state of Denmark when such hypocracy is permitted.

With the rapid pace of technological advancement, just because a disease is technically incurable now, doesn't mean that it will always be so. And yet, supposedly, the medicines available for HIV haven't really progressed as far as the disease itself... Something needs to be done--but locking those who suffer from it into an emotional prison is not the answer. The same can be said for any other sufferer who has an std. For those who claim to be Christian--Look to his examples with the lepers. While one cannot heal them the same way he did... one can provide them with emotional comfort and friendship... which does not necessarily mean that one has to have sex with said person.

And then, looking at said responses; so what exactly WOULD a good time to tell a potential sexual partner that information be, and what pray tell constitutes a 'first date'?
 RBM
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 96
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/30/2006 5:49:31 AM
Originally posted by Aicerno
It's an interesting dilema that. The way I've been interpreting the posts is that every single person who has said hell no--seems to be interpreting the word 'date' as 'would you have sex with someone who has an std?'. So in other words, a guy or girl tells you on the first date that they have an std; and then all of a sudden they get the verbal equivilent of a firing squad? Small wonder that people don't like talking about the subject period despite it's importance.

At the same time, YOU are just as much a stranger to them as they are to you on that first 'date.' That's why it's the 'first date.' Now, if it's a regular habit to have sex on the first date for both, then I can understand the reason for the concern; but when the waters are being tested so to speak, and trying to find out what makes their potential mate/friend tick, with sex being relatively set on the back-burner for the time being... I am made to wonder at how many people are being deliberately pushed aside out of this fear. Which on one hand is reasonable, and yet at the same time is irrational too.

If twere but the world was a safe place... but the only guarantee you'll ever get on the day you are born--whether it's a car crash, a plane crash, an std--some of which are treatable, some are fatal--or other...is that you will never, ever make it out of this world alive. And as the old truism goes, every thing is a poison... it's all a matter of dosage. People 'date' because of an inherent need to socialize--it's that social networking that promoted our propagation as a species, as well as ensured protection for the various families from predators as well as warring clans.

And with the complaints about the lack of honesty in today's society; if a person were completely honest on the first date about their having an std... and received such treatment, I would say that the accuser is guilty of bad miscommunication--apparently communicating through the internet counts as a date, where as to the maligned party, they perchance were waiting to meet in public so as to best gauge the reception to the news (and so, they counted their 'first date' for the first time that they met in public). So instead of being treated like another human being, they end up being treated like a statistic from some medical newsjournal and then dismissed as though they had no personal feelings or stake in the matter? Me thinks there is something ill in the state of Denmark when such hypocracy is permitted.

With the rapid pace of technological advancement, just because a disease is technically incurable now, doesn't mean that it will always be so. And yet, supposedly, the medicines available for HIV haven't really progressed as far as the disease itself... Something needs to be done--but locking those who suffer from it into an emotional prison is not the answer. The same can be said for any other sufferer who has an std. For those who claim to be Christian--Look to his examples with the lepers. While one cannot heal them the same way he did... one can provide them with emotional comfort and friendship... which does not necessarily mean that one has to have sex with said person.

And then, looking at said responses; so what exactly WOULD a good time to tell a potential sexual partner that information be, and what pray tell constitutes a 'first date'?


Nice reply. Let me address a couple points that you've made.

I don't consider a first meeting a "date" at all. I'm there, and so is my new friend, to find out if we have enough compatibility to actually go on a real date. That first meeting is set up just to determine if we should continue. It does not mean that there will be sex on the first date, or the second or third, etc. However, the point of dating for many people, myself included, is to meet someone who is a potential mate, and that means that sex will happen somewhere down the road. When to have "the talk" then enters the picture.

My meeting with my lady friend in Dallas was via telephone. And she told me within the first 5 minutes of the conversation about her "gift" and flatly stated that since I also did not have that condition, that she would not consider dating me at all. Period. It was her choice to have "the talk" immediately, and that works for her. She also would not take the chance of infecting someone else.

She informed me that some people with an STD wait until there is emotional attachment before having "the talk." She's tried that in the past and it doesn't work for her, because the non-gifted person feels betrayed and deceived. After getting to know someone over a period of many weeks or several months, with the emotional bond growing stronger, and sex becoming more and more desired, but withheld, it is easy to understand the point that betrayal could be felt. Not everyone is willing to acquire an STD that will be with them for the rest of their lives, even if there is that emotional bond. And that's their right.

After discussing her situation, I did a bunch of research online and learned a great deal. Yes, there is a potential vaccine coming for HPV, but it will not cure someone who already has the virus. HSV is still being worked very diligently as well.

There are some 130 variants of HPV, and about 30 of those are sexually transmissible. By the time a person reaches their mid-40s, there is an 80% chance that they already have HPV. By and large, the condition is an annoyance, not life threatening. And with women being regularly PAP tested, the chance for cervical cancer actually killing them is low. So if one were to meet a potential match who seemed to have many attributes being sought, then dismissing them early on may be premature.

HSV is much more problematic. From what I read, typically the first outbreak is the worst one, and follow on episodes are less traumatic. My Dallas friend states that she only has one blister, and that it is about the size of a pinhead. However, she is one of the unfortunate few who has repeat episodes that are quite difficult for her. She's had the condition for, I think, 6 or 7 years now. She still gets those flu-like symptoms every few months and it's tough for her. Some people have HSV and don't know. Her prior boyfriend had it and was immune with no symptoms whatsoever. She didn't find that out till she had symptoms herself, and they both were tested. Then bingo!

My Dallas friend has been happily dating another "gifted" man for 6 months or so, whom she met on an STD related site.

Condoms do not protect against HPV. And they also do not fully protect against HSV, as mucous to mucous transmission can still occur. Condoms do protect on the lesser forms of STDs, and for HIV. But just because you used a condom, does not mean that you weren't infected. It could be that your symptoms are delayed and could show up 5 years down the road.

So, just because someone has no symptoms does not mean that the person is not already infected. It's not quite a crap shoot, but it's not cut-and-dried either.

-Ross
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 97
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/30/2006 8:49:41 AM

My Dallas friend has been happily dating another "gifted" man for


ok this term in regards to people who have an std needs to stop NOW.
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 98
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/30/2006 10:43:00 AM
and what term would you prefer??? "gifted" although it makes it sound like a blessing is much better than some of the other terms used.. (dirty... sick... trashy... tainted... foul...)
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 99
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/30/2006 1:01:29 PM
Are people who have cancer 'gifted'? Are people in a wheelchair 'gifted'? Do people who need a root canal 'gifted'?


Maybe the people thinking this term is ok don't mean any offense..but myself and the others out there with std's DON'T feel gifted.
 RBM
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 100
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 4/30/2006 3:10:40 PM
Originally posted by *jenni*
ok this term in regards to people who have an std needs to stop NOW.


LMAO!!!

As if you have any control over what other people call themselves!
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