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 SoloDad_4
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 136
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Not dating someone with an STD is not "borderline" discrimination, it is HIGHLY discriminatory. In fact, most people discriminate in their choice of potential mates. For instance, I refuse to date within my gender, or outside my species. Perhaps you are more "open minded" than me on this. If so, more power to you.

I feel sympathy for someone with an STD, and I wish them the best. I will, however, do my best not to contract an STD. If not dating someone, so infected, lessens my risk, then that is my course. Good Luck to you, sir.
 ugot2begood
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 138
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:45:32 PM
I just have to say this...out of all you people who seems so sure you yourselves are so clean...how many of your sexual partners have you actually followed to the doctors office for tests and hear the results first hand? My point is, you shouldn't be sexual with anyone you don't want to make a longterm commitment with and if you are intending to love someone you have to accept them for who they are any any crap they may have picked up along the way. Considering how many people are infected, knowingly or not, how could you hold it against them......it could just as easily happen to you later on down the line. Then what? You look at yourself and say, "Damn, if only I had known then what I know now, I would've kept so and so because they were almost perfect!" Of course, I'm not telling you to go out and find someone with aids but for God's sakes stop being so judgemental. Love is love, in sickness and in health. Not dating someone just because they've fallen victim to a growing epidemic is like blowing someone off because they are accident prone. Just a thought. And yes I would if it were not a life threatening disease, with caution of course.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 139
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:24:06 PM

Love is love, in sickness and in health.


Who said anything about love? If I'm considering whether to date someone or not, I'm nowhere near the point of loving them.


Not dating someone just because they've fallen victim to a growing epidemic is like blowing someone off because they are accident prone.


Answer this, then: how many heroin addicts have you dated? Or, do you discriminate against those men on the basis of their disease? How many women have you dated? Or, do you discriminate on the basis of gender? How many ugly men have you dated?
If you're all for equal-opportunity dating, then shouldn't your next boyfriend be a man with Hepatitis C?

We all discriminate when dating, many of us for far more shallow reasons than health concerns.
 SoloDad_4
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 140
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:48:08 PM
I agree! I'm sure there are a lot of men that have refused to date a woman they liked just because she was a blood relation.
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 141
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 11:04:26 PM
half the time you may not even know your partner has/had an STD , thats why it's better to be safe in the first place if you're having casual sex. If you're in a relationship you should both be tested etc.

using the term discrimination seems kinda off.
it's called better judgement. I wouldn't deny someone with an STD a job , or my friendship.

I don't blame anyone who has an STD, it's not like they went out seeking to get infected or anything but I'm just not willing to put my own health on the line like that.
Have I had a risky encounter or two? sure , but you learn from that and realize that the fear of catching something isn't worth the experience at all.

Everyone should be checked for STD's at regular intervals, it gives such peace of mind to know that you are healthy that way. Also not all STD's are treated equally , many have had and been treated and cured of STDS, there are of course STD's that have no cure.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 143
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 12:49:28 AM
I have a very odd way of looking at STDs so I can't say I wouldn't.

If the question is "would you sleep with a guy who got herpes from sleeping around and risk catching them" the answer is deffinately no.

I do not like people who give me a nasty feeling and some people just do....even if they are clean and I have no way of knowing if they have an std, some things are just nasty to me, but I am not deathly afraid of disease like some people may think.

I have a very strange way of looking at certain stds that are reported to be incurable. I know that some can be sequestered indeffinately. I also consider myself a spiritual person and have seen many strange things in my life that I probably shouldn't go into because the answers are not always clear and I think in this particular point in time there are MANY issues concerning certain stds that are very unclear and it's quite an interest of mine and although I have never been diagnosed or had symptoms of an std I feel very connected to this issue for some reason.....I suppose because I have done some study of certain stds and there is a lot people don't know about testing and about strains that might suprise a lot of people if the proof was out there.

Do I want to become sick?....no.
Would I put myself at risk for some shmuck.....Not knowingly, no and not purposefully as though I was giving in and settling on it....altering my life.
Do I believe that some situations can happen that might be difficult to explain in words that might find me with someone who has an stds......if I believe it is meant to be, yes.

I can be a very selfish, very self centered person to a lot of people but some things in this world go beyond what people think they know about others and about life.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 145
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:18:03 AM
Who are you talking to?
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 146
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:38:39 AM
If people want to know something they should just ask.

Here are some things that are easily researched online.

There are many different strains of HIV....like hundreds.
Standards HIV test that you get in a clinic, a doctors office or an in home test will test for only one strain.
You can have a test done on your actual cells for the presence of any HIV strain but it costs a lot of money and it is not recommended. If you go contact a place such as the CDC they will specifically recommend you to NOT have this test done because it causes alarm in people who have what they consider "lesser strains" of HIV. HIV2 is considered a lesser strain and is extremely common in Africa. They know that drugs cause HIV to become more virilent and natural attempt at immunity causes strains to become weaker.
They also know that there are people who have been exposed to HIV and for some reason those individuals have been able to fight it out of their system.
They know that some people sequester HIV in their system for a long time even though they may have infected a partner that has died within a few months of the initial infection.
Herpes is also often sequestered into a person system and after years of outbreaks, they may stop having them and never have an outbreak again. I believe this happens less often in promiscuous people. I believe people sequester certain viruses better after settling into a relationship or certain stable sexual habits.

Having said this.....you can't always just walk into a clinic, get some tests done and feel free to do what you please. They only test for certain stds. Does anyone know how many stds exist? I don't think anyone does because there are THAT MANY.

My point is that you can't always rely on these things to be your guiding light. There is more to life then tests and status. You have to have some instinct about what you are doing along with the manmade precautions attempting to help mankind. There are tests for some things that may put a mind at ease or cause great alarm but not everything is so black and white.

Sometimes there is a bigger picture and the bigger picture is often more important.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 147
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:48:50 AM
update.....they do have available tests for HIV2

This has all happened in the last few years and when I first read about it....HIV2 was unheard of in the US and Europe, but now there are reported cases, but only a few.

This will change soon.

Years ago they only tested for HIV1.

I don't know what the clinics are doing now.

Might be worth looking into.......like I said, this is rather new.....and those aren't the only two strains.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 148
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:54:10 AM
Just a few years back I was reading they found what they are calling HIV2 but didn't seem alarmed because they thought it wasn't anything close to the ultimately fatal HIV1.

Seems as though they have retracted that and are now treating it as a fatal viral infection and are putting HIV2 tests on the market.

hmmmm.....

Viruses mutate.....you can't put this thing in a neat little box.

You could shun someone for having it and find out that you have a strain yourself only you didn't know because you didn't pay the money to do extensive tests......and who does?.....If we all chose to we would probably find alot of astonishing things out and there would be panic everywhere because there is all kinds of shit going on in our bodies.

There is more to life then what a test tells you.

There IS a bigger picture.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 149
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 2:33:34 AM
Just because I like to dig....I am going to post something taken from a site. A girl ask some doctor or HIV counselor a question....and then I will let this fall unless someone says something else about it.

I would like to mention (as I said I like to read up on this from time to time as I am doing now) years ago, HIV2 was unheard of in the us. I just read a site that reports there are at least a hundred people in the US diagnosed with HIV2. I also read that a test for HIV1 might pick up something abnormal and suggest testing for HIV2....although as I said.....counselors at the CDC will not recommend any other testing if you test negative for the standard tests unless you just so happen to got extensive tests done on your cells and doctors find something and they don't know what it is. Things like that happen all the time and when they keep happening, that's where new viruses come in. They are saying they think HIV 1 and HIV2 are different in the fact they came from different monkeys. Whatever....they know a lot but there are a lot of things they obviously do not know or they would be able to cure it, but kudos to them for the work they do.

Anywho....

This girl said she can't get an HIV2 test in Atlanta.
This guy tells her she shouldn't worry despite the fact that she feels she has HIV because HIV2 is almost (but not quite anymore) unheard of......but how do they know this if they can't be quite certain what the test pick up. I also believe if current tests pick up HIV2, it's because they modified them in the last few years. They have the power to do that. I'm not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist but you can't put everything in a neat little box....you just can't.
Now....where I believe the advice of the CDC is generally good because if we all know what all kinds of viruses and diseases and parasites were crawling around inside of us, we would all have heart attacks. People have been ****ing left and right ever since mankind was first on this earth and crap like this is bound to happen....that's life. I believe the current system is carefully designed to not cause panic while still offering help to those who are currently dying from HIV infection. Like I said, they don't know everything but somethings, they do know.
For the most part, I believe the system of treatment and counseling is the best hey can do for the general majority of society, but there are always....always always always exceptions to the rule.

On one last note I will ask the question.....who will be the first public cure? Is it unthinkable? Will it be by drugs or some other unimaginable means? Something has to give. I believe it always does. Look at how many people smallpox killed. It still kills people and is MUCH more contagious than HIV but it's not a worldwide epidemic...why?....What happened?
It must have been something besides the deeds of mankind because the vaccine was developed much later than it had the potential to kill everyone in the middle ages.

Anyway.....yes, this is a facsination of mine.
Here is the article.

I'm not saying this girl has HIV2 just because she feels something is wrong but there is no way one can tell her by the information at the time that there's no way she cant have it.

I'm just saying in a world of so many unknown things....there's no way to be certain about black and white, but there is always a bigger picture.


In question "HIV1 and HIV2" dated 7/12/00 it is stated that it would be unlikely that an HIV1 test would catch HIV2 if infected. Yet in question "Oral tests and HIV2" dated 8/2/00 it is stated that an HIV1 test would catch HIV2 approx. 70% of the time if infected. I had an exposure in '96 and have since passed four HIV1 tests. I have had a swollen lymph node in my neck since 4/00, and have had a multitude of other symptoms. I had an asperation performed on the lymph node (reactive) to something, but no malignancy. Anyway, I am still very convinced that I have HIV (although I know that it is not HIV1). I live in Atlanta and my internist is at Emory University. She is unable to order an HIV2 test - in fact, after calling several labs around town, a hospital downtown and the Dekalb County Health Dept. I can not find anyone who will test for HIV2. I have been to hell and back (emotionally) since April. I keep telling myself that if I had HIV2, the HIV 1 test would have caught it (at least in one of the four tests I have had) - yet I read this confusing information on this board. Please advise/clarify. Thank You in advance!




Response from Mr. Kull

I apologize for the confusing information, and will try to clarify for you. The information I had posted in the more recent response stating that the HIV-1 antibody test will detect HIV-2 antibodies 70% of the time is the more accurate, up-to-date information. I will go back and change that original "unlikely" response to the more accurate information. Thanks for being so thorough!

Unless you have had unprotected sex or shared injection needles with someone at high risk for HIV-2 (mostly people from or in this type of contact with residents of regions in the western coast of Africa), you are at such low risk for HIV-2.

I would suggest calling up the CDC AIDS Hotline at 800-458-5231 to see if they have more info on HIV-2 testing in your area.

Best.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 150
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 2:56:54 AM
ok...I lied...I can't resist pushing the envelope.....sorry.

From a different site......dicrepencies in information.....and this is only speaking of HIV1 and a subtype of HIV1 and HIV2......btw, there are hundreds of strains in the subtypes. The shit goes on and on and on.....and where this one person is alarmed from being told not to worry about....it makes sense because it's certain types that are killing people.....at least 'right now'......but you never know what will happen tomorrow....you never know what will fall between the cracks, you never know how information will change and when you thought one thing about "people with HIV"...maybe the next thing you will be wondering is how you got a strain of it from years ago and were completely and totally unaware.


the site....

Expat@asia.com (sasha) asked: Does anyone know the accuracy of ELISA screening for HIV 2?? If one tests negative on ELISA, is it possible to still have infection with HIV 2?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a revealing story to relate regarding this question.

I asked a member of the research department at the gay/lesbian community health center in my area whether the various other strains of HIV would show up on my test, and was told, "I'm not sure, but I wouldn't worry about it."

(!)

Instead of 'going nuclear' I just went blind for a few seconds as my eyes spun. After I (futilely) tried to explain to the woman whyher answer was so wrong, she promised to check around, but never called me back.

I cornered another doctor at the same facility who gave me this far more useful answer: It is obviously not gospel, but rather her common-sense read on the entire situation:

A paraphrase of her statement: "The tests we have now will probably not discover the presence of some or most of these other strains, even if they are present. Further, these strains seem to be transmitted in different ways, and some are more'infectious' - meaning that things that appear to be 'somewhat' safe for Americans may not be if one of the sex participants has another strain of HIV.

"Since it is logical to assume that these other strains *are* already present in the US, we will only start developing or instituting tests for them once asignificant number or people have died of something that looks like "AIDS" but doesn't show up on the Elisa or Western Blot."

And then of course, it will be too late for many people. In other words, nothing has changed, and the alert and calls to action will only be issued after the fact. Does this not sound like a logical scenario? I'm afraid it does to me, and it has me rethinking my sex practices once again. Sheesh.

I can't get too angry anymore as it seems to be the way of the world...

Are there others out there who would please address this issue? Any opinions will all be collected by me into an article for the HIV Infoweb site, and faxed throughout Massachusetts.

You may either respond by email to the moderator or to my private address if it makes it easier for you.

From: jlabella@pride.net (John La Bella)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Response 2: I guess it is right to worry when you are not sure, but here is why I think you should not worry : - HIV-2, which is quite different from HIV-1 in its genetic composition, is mostly prevalent in western Africa. It is rare in Europe and very rare in the US. If elisa tests were to be only based on HIV-1 reagents, they would certainly miss many HIV-2 cases. However, since 1986 all commercial elisa tests, including those on the US market, include HIV-2 components. Therefore, they will not miss HIV-2.

HIV-1 group O (the letter O, not zero) is not as distant from the usual HIV-1 strains as HIV-2 is. It is mostly found in western-central Africa. It is very rare in Europe, and has not been found yet in the US, as far as I know. When that new HIV-1 strain was initially described here in Europe in 1994, there was a strong concern that commercial elisas would miss that virus. All test kits were examined for their capacity to detect HIV-1 group O. Most kits worked fine, but a few failed and were withdrawn from the european market. Since then, they have been corrected and improved so that they work for HIV-1 group O. - There are other subtle variants of HIV-1, which can be all readily detected by elisa. This includes those variants that have been described as being transmitted in a different way. I hope this helps.

Francois Clavel, MD


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Helen Jacoby hjacoby@bih.harvard.edu

HIV1 and HIV2 are generally detected by separate ELISA assays. While it is true that many patients with HIV2 will test positive to an HIV1 ELISA, the HIV1 ELISAs generally used in the United States will miss a significant number of cases of HIV2. The American Red Cross screens all blood donations for both HIV1 and HIV2. However testing sites and medical centers may use only the HIV1 test or may choose to do both. It is therefore necessary to find out whether both ELISAs were done, or simply the one for HIV1.

HIV2 is extremely rare in the United States, and is found almost exclusively in immigrants from Africa, where the infection is much more common. This is the reason that many institutions to not include HIV2 screening in their basic HIV testing protocol. The CDC is continuously monitoring the level of HIV2 disease in the US, in an effort to detect any increase.


Hope this is helpful.


Helen Jacoby, MD

Beth Israel Hospital, Boston


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 soulchild78
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 156
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/8/2006 5:13:56 PM
I have to agree......All of you people are WAY too quick to judge. Now I know there is a LOT you WON'T say on here because you fear someone you know or have slept with on here saying so but I believe there is a different answer for each situation....

There are a lot of different STDs out there...Some are curable, some are not, some are Deadly, some are not....So depending on what the person has, and how the relationship is going, it all depends....Yes they say they you can still get for example "herpes" even though you're using a condom...BUT if you knew anything about Herpes, you'd know you have to have contact with the infected area. Not to mention, if you made sure to clean yourself (As your supposed to anyways after any sexual contact) that would drop your chances even lower.

I would never date anyone with HIV or AIDS, I'm sorry. If it were something like herpes, and it was someone I saw an actual future with, and they were honest with me from the get, then yes. Because I know how to prevent it, I make sure to Educate myself, and it CAN be prevented! Believe me, I know this....

To each his own, but I definitely don't think people with Herpes or HPV or any STD for that matter should only be able to date other people with STD's.....There are too many people out there that are willing to look past certain things anyways......This is a SMALL portion of the world.

If any of you had an actual CLUE as to how many people ACTUALLY have HPV and Herpes, I GUARANTEE ALL OF YOU would be celibate! And I guarantee MOST of you have already slept with someone who has something and you never even had a CLUE! TRUST ME! 1 in 3 people has Herpes, and even MORE have HPV. I also don't think you should pass up a chance at true happiness because that person may or not have made a bad decision once. Believe me, it's not always that person's fault! There are THREE sides to every story so listen carefully before you judge.

All in all, do as I have done and EDUCATE yourself.....And don't be so quick to judge.....You never know. Don't be afraid to ask.....I have a friend who asks every girl he dates from the get and won't even sleep with them till he "sees" a result.

So do what you gotta do to stay comfortable.....and be happy!
 Ratero-park-man
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 157
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 1:11:21 AM
So me I would not date them Kay, i would try to help them, BUT not date them. I think we are obligated to help others but we don't have to date them in this situation.

Hope it clears things up.
 Tsorath
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 158
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 1:21:24 AM
nope that would be one of my few dealbreakers.


Tsorath
 Juda25
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 159
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 2:10:58 AM
I havent read through all of these threads yet. just kind of blasted through them.I had a friend with HSV1( herpes) and it's astonighing how many people (like 80%) have the HSV1 virus. The problem with it is you dont have to be showing symptoms in order to pass it on. People who get cold sores.. even once. have the HSV1 virus.. you can spread it simple as that. Some peopel eho have HSV1 and 2 for that matter sometimes never even show symptoms. They dont come up in drug tests (reliably) and even swab testing of a sore can yeild to un reliable results. So think about all those people you kiss.. or have had oral sex with. anything.. You're still taking the same risk as sleeping with someone with herpes. It's virtually impossible to not come in contact with someone with the HSV virus and be in a position where it could be passed on. the fact it's called an "STD" make you feel safe as long as your not entering intercourse however, Herpes is passed a long a lot more frequently through "normal" interactions with people. I'm not saying this to scare anyone. And i would be hesitant to sleep with (dating is fine) a person untill i knoew all the information and came to my own conclusions about my safety. having an "STD" can be a scary thing but i'ts never the end of the world. If you are being cautious and are armed with information. you significantly lessen the chance of contracting one yourself. And anothe rpiece of info (again this may have all been said) HSV1 is usually cold sores at the mouth and HSV2 is usually genital, however both can be contracted either way and both share slight differences in it's viral makeup. Just thought i'd clear stuff up a bit.

Juda
 Ratero-park-man
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 162
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:35:15 AM

Ok so please enlighten us all as to why you think just cause someone has an STD that they need your 'help'? And what do they need help with?


No I meant that they need to be shown compassion on and not looked down upon is what I meant. I feel for those people and am not willing to just turn aside and make believe that things are ok when they are not. I would still try to be their friends or a close associate, even though I would choose not to date them neccesarily. I am still all for trying to comfort them as friends or for them to have someone around them if they need to talk or something.

Thats all I said.
 bccastones
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 163
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:37:55 AM
75% of women have the HVP virus. Should they not date anyone? Considering this virus does barely nothing to men but can cause cervical cancer for women!
 sunshowers
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 164
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:38:00 AM
No.

Am not willing to put MY health and my daughters future with their mom at risk.
 getyou
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 165
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:49:24 AM
Would YOU date someone who only made love to you with a loaded gun? What a question are you nuts?
 Juda25
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 166
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:55:56 AM
The numbers really are high especially with HSV. and the worst thing as said before is you can have it without synmptoms.. thats how it is normally spread.. from people who dont know they have it. oral sex from someone who had a cold sore 3 years ago can potentially give you genital hsv
 The Evil Doctor
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 168
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:44:16 AM
absolutely not......std = dirty......or lack of respect for themselves and others.....there could be some HIV off in the not to distant future
 Ochun36
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 169
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:51:25 AM
absolutely not......std = dirty......or lack of respect for themselves and others.....there could be some HIV off in the not to distant future.

Oh my Goodness, it's hard to believe that in 2006 this type of ignorance still exists.

I have a friend that got Herpes at 19 from the first guy that she slept with. How does that make her a dirty person???? She might have been too trusting, or too in love at that moment but she certainly was not a dirty person.
 The Evil Doctor
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 170
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:54:21 AM
Oh my Goodness, it's hard to believe that in 2006 this type of ignorance still exists.

I have a friend that got Herpes at 19 from the first guy that she slept with. How does that make her a dirty person???? She might have been too trusting, or too in love at that moment but she certainly was not a dirty person.


I think that you made my arguement for me, when she slept with this man unprotected where was the respect that she had for herself or future partners.......

EDIT: Just a note, there are these things called tests that can be performed prior to taking off the latex
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 171
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:19:57 PM

I had a friend with HSV1( herpes) and it's astonighing how many people (like 80%) have the HSV1 virus.


In the interest of accuracy, it should be stated that that 80% figure refers to those with the oral HSV1 virus (cold sores).


Oh my Goodness, it's hard to believe that in 2006 this type of ignorance still exists.

I have a friend that got Herpes at 19 from the first guy that she slept with. How does that make her a dirty person???? She might have been too trusting, or too in love at that moment but she certainly was not a dirty person.


So, you're judging the rest of us as "ignorant" for not being so trusting and in love that we would subject ourselves to a chronic disease? Where's the logic in that??


EDIT: Just a note, there are these things called tests that can be performed prior to taking off the latex


I'm sure that someone else would eventually point this out, but allow me to be the first: the "latex" does not prevent Herpes.
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