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 KrissiNJ72
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 194
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would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 6 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
you'd be shocked at the number of people you dated that had stds and you just didn't know it
 tekrok
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 195
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/10/2006 7:44:15 PM
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 captainbaud
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 196
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:24:18 PM
STDs are so common in today's society, it's scary. I think the stats are something like 25% of people carry HPV. Which, for those who do not know, is a virus that causes genital warts. Similar to herpes, but less severe. No treatment either.


Actually, it's 25% for genital herpes, 80% for oral herpes, and about 80% for HPV in one strain or another.

And there are treatments for both herpes and HPV, they just don't cure it if you have it. But, there is a vaccine now for most strains of HPV. The FDA just recently approved it... it's recommended for girls once they hit around 9 years of age.


I'd have no problem dating someone that happened to have one of the non-fatal incurable STDs. They can be managed. Herpes, for example, is no big deal if the person is honest about when they're having an active outbreak. That's also why one should always be using physical barrier protection, such as condoms. HPV is a bit more problematic. But, since over 80% of people have it in one strain or another (not always on the genitals, and many strains are asymptomatic.. you have it, but never get the warts), it can be pretty useless to try to avoid.

I'd not risk sexual relations with someone with an incurable fatal disease though, like hepatitis, HIV, etc. That's gambling with your life.

As for those with curable diseases.. hold off until they have a clean bill of health. ;)
 moonlight_whispers
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 197
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:05:46 PM
I think it all depends on the type of relationship two people have. If there is alot of trust there, and your partner tells you before anything happens, I would have a lot of respect for that person..Then it is my choice....
I would def research the std..and protect myself..HOwever, Im sure there are alot of people who have stds' and unfortuneatly, these people are probably great.....I don't think I would give up on a relationship if there was an std involved. Again, I would research, and do everything to protect my partner and myself. Honesty and trust would have to be an absolute must.
 rodher
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 198
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:48:28 PM
No I would not date someone who has a deadly std but' I could change my mind if I would fall in love. What bothers me is how many people that replied to this thread is pretending they don’t have an std or don’t know they have one. If people would deceive in a forum what would they do in person and in the heat would they stop to tell you hold on I got this std? Maybe’ maybe not That is my point you just can't tell by looking at a person and passing a judgment on them who has an std. If so many people have an std it would be hard to find someone that doesn’t have a std. keep trusting people that they will not lie to you because you are you and keep the condom on hell put on two of them if you think that will help shake the bible at them dirty ass people and you will never ever get an std education is your best defense ignorance is not bliss in this area
 vivid
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 199
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/11/2006 12:47:56 AM
No. My health is important to me and I don't want to be on medications for the
rest of my life. Besides, in this day and age, there's a good chance your STD will outlast your relationship.
 2a4r5i225
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 200
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/16/2006 7:51:40 PM
Hello=) Yeah I would date someone with a std, I have one, if it was a life threatening desease I would date but not have sex, I would improvise.
 abbazeer
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 201
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/16/2006 7:57:33 PM
noooooo, i'd be too worried :p
 touchmeimsick
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 202
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/16/2006 9:50:15 PM
I wouldn't...

I wouldn't want to take the risk of contracting anything.
 kryptosdaddy
Joined: 9/25/2004
Msg: 203
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/19/2006 3:49:23 PM
Over 200 people have basically said NO!


Oughta' change the title to -Have you ever dated anyone with an std?
 mellowme
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 204
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/19/2006 6:46:31 PM
I really agree with thelowlyone on this topic as well. My gynecologist informed me that her husband has genital herpes and they take precautions. It is obviously not risk free, but she is bothered my the contradiction of it being such a huge social stigma while such a high percentage of people carry these viruses. I have seen this contradiciton as well during my work as a medical assistant for an OB/GYN practice. Also anyone can post a topic on the web so it is important to note the source of the information. Peer reviewed scientific journals are an excellent source of reliable information.
 TaraNC
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 205
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 11:21:29 AM
First off, I'd like to show my sympathy and respect for sweetie01 and the others who are dealing with this problem openly....kudos and peace to you all. I am sorry for the misfortunes of life that plaque us all.


What sort of person would risk infecting a clean person with aids or hep C?

Besides, in this day and age, there's a good chance your STD will outlast your relationship.


Its true that the irresponsibility comes in when the ppl who are already infected refuse to tell the unknowing ppl they have relations with.



but hey if ya both have std's then the 2 of ya should date.
This is terrible advice since there are so many strains of the same diseases that getting a completely seperate strain of a disease you already have only makes it symptamatically worse...not better or the same. So if I had herpes 1 and slept with someone w/ herpes 2 then I would have both, not just herpes 1 and the symptoms would be more prevalent and troublesome.


Why, well...you usually test the skin area of concern...not check the blood
Coming from a nurse? Is it not true that herpes cannot be tested thru the blood? It can only be positively identified thru a skin sample/graph test, by taking a culture of the blister, while the symptoms (blister) are actually occuring? Genital herpes cant be tested for by blood tests. This is probably in sync w/ why so many ppl carry unknowingly. A small pimple is most likely not viewed a huge concern (for most) to run and get it tested.


If you see a bottle labelled Acyclovir
You forgot to mention the Valtrex brand I have always known my friends to use for treatment.


I lost the other quote I wanted to comment on...maybe I'll find it later.
Some may have already commented something similiar but, I want to tell my individual story; I couldn't understand why for 3 yrs. my friend basically dissed me until we started to move in together and he told me he had genital herpes. No wonder he dissed me for so long! We had already had protected sex and I loved him before I ever was told. Evil on his part, but understandable considering the stigma it revokes from ppl.
I accepted the challenge and we lived together for 5 yrs. I finally ended the relationship after he told me he had slept w/ someone else several months prior. He didnt warn me about the extra risk during those months (in which we didnt always use condoms) and so, no matter how much his honesty helped him in the beginning after that it was no longer worth it to me to put myself at risk even more then I thought I was already. Had he never cheated on me, I would've loved him forever, regaurdless of the disease and risks....it was the extra risk I wasnt willing to accept.
We've been apart for nearly 2 yrs. during which time I have never released the fear. I have HPV, so I get checked regularly, and luckily, I have not contracted herpes. Any thing that pops up, I am off to the Dr. in tears and the emotional aspect is excruciating. Now that he is gone from my life, if I get the virus, I cant honestly say I'd be happy with the chioce to accept the challenge. That all changed once my love was gone. The worry, for me, will never disappear.

My sis has had herpes for years and had 2 children and been married for 12 yrs, and she still is the only 1 in the household carrying the virus. Stats say if u live w/ someone that carries...you too will contract the virus within 10 yrs of sharing a home....be careful of statistics!

I've had HPV for 9 yrs. and experianced 1 wart (not clusters) 9 yrs. ago and since then, I have had no sign of it at all....nothing. I am a regular at the dermatologist for prevention, so I would've known if there was something there since.

I am middle of the road on the prior comments, for the most part. It is, certainly, a personal choice and risk. Emotions change, they come and then they r gone but these diseases, stay forever. The guy I have sex w/ now is aware of my problem and my worries that the past brings. He accepts it and I am lucky, because he is a total gentleman and takes great care with my emotions.
Dont hate ppl for carrying and dont hate ppl for not wanting to carry. It's hard to be completely open about MOST things private...it's gotten easier for me the more I've talked about it. Lots of ppl I know for yrs dont know this about me....why should they if it doesnt effect them? I certainly wouldn't want to be a poster child for it!




HPV DNA was detected in the finger brush samples of three women and nine men.
umm...could this be yet another clue that men should try harder to refrain from constantly adjusting, and touching themselves!!
 lh90716
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 206
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 12:01:40 PM
sweetie come on why would u want a person wit std already r after they have cheated on u . Do they not pay close attention to their bodies anytime that rubber bust r u have un protected sex u should go get tested right away before u have sex with another person. unfortunately that hasnt happened to me but u should cause anytime u catch something from him he would say u cheated to protect the other person he cheated wit u on to hide his cheatin ways. always visit your daughter and get regular pep smears to protect yo self from lyers that way u can have yo results on paper from yo doctor. always date a men who isnt scared to get physical check ups and is not afraid of the doctors.
 stever298
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 207
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 12:04:08 PM
This depends.....did I give it to them?
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 208
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 12:26:47 PM
@taranc

My sis has had herpes for years and had 2 children and been married for 12 yrs, and she still is the only 1 in the household carrying the virus. Stats say if u live w/ someone that carries...you too will contract the virus within 10 yrs of sharing a home....be careful of statistics!


I have to wonder where you got that stat from... HSV2 is not transmitted by casual contact... HSV1 (Coldsores) could be transmitted that way... but that would only be if the person who carrys it does not realize that kisssing while having a coldsore can spread it... or the immediate sharing of beverages... but for the most part... herpes doesn't like to live outside a body... so it would be rare that casual contact or just living with someone would pass it to them...
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 211
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 3:11:33 PM
I hope you are right Dorkfully... because I would hate to think people would live in fear of casual contact with some with an STD... but I read it that way I think because she put the kids in the mix... again.. you can pass oral HSV through kissing... but hopefully those with it know how to protect eachother....
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 212
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:54:35 PM

Is it not true that herpes cannot be tested thru the blood? It can only be positively identified thru a skin sample/graph test, by taking a culture of the blister, while the symptoms (blister) are actually occuring? Genital herpes cant be tested for by blood tests.


I've read this, too. Which begs the question: why do all of those Public Service Announcements and prescription ads say that a) Herpes can be spread even if you're not having an outbreak, and b) some people can have Herpes without experiencing symptoms?

How do they know those things, if it can't be tested for any other way?
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 213
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 7/31/2006 7:01:06 PM
There are blood test for herpes... Igg and Igm... HerpeSelect.... don't do the igm as it is not accurate... you want an igg if you are getting tested.. and it will type 1 or 2 the result but can't tell you location... ie... genital is generally HSV2 and oral is generally HSV1, however either can go to either location... but HSV2 tends to not be oral...

as for passing with no symptoms.. that is called shedding... which is the time right before an outbreak or when the persons body is shedding the virus... this is the time the person is most likely to infect the partner...

many people (estimated 80% of) who carry the virus have no symptoms or symptoms so slight that they have no clue they have it...

and to restate what has been said... Herpes... HPV... HIV... Hep... are not part of standardized STD testing.. so if you want to be tested for them you have to ask... and there is not yet a test for HPV in men....
 JenovasWitness
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 215
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2006 10:13:27 PM
I'm shocked at how uneducated some of you are. And cruel too. Chances are many of you have an STD and don't know it. DID you know herpes can be passed on even WITH condoms? Keep this in mind 1 in 4 women have GENITAL herpes and 1 in 5 men have it.
That is just ONE STD. Sometimes a condom isn't the answer all. Also, STDs aren't passed on to "trampy" people, they can happen to you! It only takes one encounter.

Many STDs are curable and it is NOT proof that someone sleeps around if they get one.
Some STDs are forever. Depending on the STD it can actually be very safe to have intercourse with them as long as you and they are informed on the subject.

Would any of you reject someone who has cold sores? I doubt it, but did you know that Herpes Type 1 can be passed on genitally? Even if you've only ever had 1 cold sore, you have herpes type 1 and it will never go away. 85% of the population has type 1. So the next time any of you preform oral sex keep in mind that you could end up giving it to your partner.

Also, you don't have to have a cold sore to pass it on. People with herpes (type 1 and 2) have viral shedding. Which means that even though they aren't having an outbreak they can still be contagious. One of the real problems with herpes specifically is that a lot of people don't know they have it. Realistically some one who HAS it and knows is probably safer to be with than the average person. Simply because THEY KNOW and as long as they are the kind of person who is honest and educated, they will know how to minimize the risk to you. There are many couples where one has an STD and the other is negative and they have sex for years and years and it's never passed on.


Would you fault someone with strep throat for catching it? Perhaps they should wash their hands more often, perhaps they should isolate themselves so they can't catch anything at all....that's just silly. STDs are the same the only difference is there is more stigma attatched to them because of lack of education.

True love is harder to find than most STDs, I think many of you need to be more open minded and educated.


Keep in mind too, if you're from the States that when you ask to be tested for "everything" it doesn't include a test for herpes. Herpes testing is not standard and has to be asked for.

So for those of you who have been tested for "Everything" don't be too relaxed because you haven't been tested for herpes.
 Top It
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 216
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2006 10:27:05 PM
And take the chance of being able to have, hold, and cherish their STD for the rest of my life. NO THANKS!
 JenovasWitness
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 217
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2006 11:13:24 PM
mystlw,

I'm horrified by some of the comments you've made. While it is your CHOICE to date who you are comfortable with, I think you're uneducated. Have you ever dated someone with cold sores? Probably. IT'S HERPES! and that can be passed on genitally.

I have HSV2 and you said something about it bringing pain and misery. While it can be painful, I'm not miserable. Being miserable is a CHOICE. I choose to be educated and responsible and happy being me, herpes and all. I got herpes from my ex husband, I'm not "easy" and all in all I'd like to think that I'm a great person. Anyone who discriminates against me because of this virus is missing out. When properly educated the chance of transmitting herpes is only 3-4% a year. Less if the person in taking anti virals.

Dating is minor and I think it's unfortunate that you wouldn't even take that chance to get to know someone. Dating isn't sex, it's about getting to know that person. You can't get herpes from dating. You are going to miss out on some very wonderful men.
 blues_traveler2006
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 218
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/3/2006 11:18:14 PM
"would you ever date someone who has an std?"


I thought I did once and it freaked me out! I was scared sh*tless!

Then she called me a couple of days later and told me that she had an SUV, not a STD
 2a4r5i225
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 219
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/6/2006 10:32:46 AM
Yeah I would date someone with a std, I have but I tell people that I do have it, I got decieved in getting this std, I don't care, if for example my significant other has a std or not I will love her just the same, nothings perfect.
 trailertrashh
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 220
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/6/2006 4:32:37 PM
I want to thank you intelligent people for educating me on STDs. I have been married for most of my entire adult life and was not up to date on all the info of STDs. Very enlightening and showed me how I really need to do some more research. I brought my kids around the computer and read several of the "good" posts. My kids are 14 and 15 so it was very important that they knew the facts and once again I thank you.

I even read the stupid posts so they can see the morans in the world too.

The honesty some of these posters are showing would lower the rates if everyone did the same. THANKS GUYS!
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 221
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would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 8/6/2006 7:08:54 PM

Have you ever dated someone with cold sores?


Nope. I don't have an extensive dating history. Probably because I'm that choosy.


I have HSV2 and you said something about it bringing pain and misery. While it can be painful, I'm not miserable. Being miserable is a CHOICE.


I find being in pain to be a miserable experience. Especially if it has anything to do with genital pain.


I got herpes from my ex husband, I'm not "easy" and all


And if you had had the chance to know that beforehand, would you have avoided it? Or would you have gladly welcomed this STD that you have already stated is "painful"?

To use your own analology, I wouldn't date or kiss anyone that at that time had an active case of strep throat, either. I wouldn't blame them for having it, but why would I choose to knowingly subject myself to weeks of pain, fever, and medication when I could easily avoid it?


Anyone who discriminates against me because of this virus is missing out.


Huh? There's a huge difference between discriminating against someone, and choosing not to be intimate with them. I choose not to be intimate with abusive neanderthals (which is why I divorced my ex-husband), does that mean I'm discriminating against them? There are women in these forums that won't date men who are shorter, or older, or make too little money; are they discriminating against them?


You are going to miss out on some very wonderful men.


Nope. I've already found a very wonderful man. A very wonderful, clean man.


In case you hadn't noticed, I am not the only person in this thread that would not knowingly date a person with an STD. And if that is our comfort zone, who are you to criticize?
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