Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > would you ever date someone who has an std?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 126
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?Page 6 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

All you people who say " heck no" "no f**** way" , you are all rude and sick people. Anyone can have it and not know, just like me


If you had had the choice to not sleep with the person that gave you herpes, especially knowing how horrible it is to have it, wouldn't you have run like Hell?

That's all these people are saying; that they would never knowingly put themselves at risk of what you're going through now. I don't find that rude or sick in any way.
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 127
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/5/2006 12:14:16 AM
^^^ Would you leave the house when your husband is sick with a cold or the flu? HPV is a virus, just like a cold, it's nothing to be embarrassed about and it's nothing to be scared off, as long as you take precautions you won't get it. On that note tho, yes, it is possible for it to cause cervical cancer in woman BUT if you're using condoms and do contract hpv you won't get the warts inside. In other news...it really causes no symptoms in men apart from MAYBE few bumps, it won't really cause any discomfort at all.

If I didn't have it, then yes, I may be a bit standoffish until I learned about it but it's not aids, herpes and hpv won't kill you.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 128
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:15:30 AM

Would you leave the house when your husband is sick with a cold or the flu?


No, but I've been known to sleep on the couch; why would I want to go through the misery of the flu, if I could possibly keep myself healthy?

If I read the initial post of this thread correctly, it has nothing to do with a spouse. It has to do with dating, and choosing a sexual partner. Herpes may not be fatal, but according to a couple of relatives of mine it's painful and damned miserable. HPV is potentially fatal, in that it's a leading cause of cervical cancer.
Why should anyone be blamed for choosing NOT to take those risks??
 Ochun36
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 129
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:38:12 AM
No, I would never run like hell from someone that had Herpes. People that are infected with this virus are human beings with feelings just like you. I guess it depends on the situation and the amount of feelings that i have for the person if I'm willing to take the risk.

I too have relatives and friends that have the virus, as a matter of fact, you would be surprised to see how many people do indeed have this, it's shocking. They have all gone on to have happy and lasting relationships. My cousin has been with his wife for 16 years and they have two kids together. She has never contracted the virus because he makes sure to take care of himself and her during outbreaks.
 Styles88
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 130
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/5/2006 10:29:21 AM
If I am to read things correctly, one would avoid sleeping with someone who has HPV because of the potential chance to develop cervical cancer. I find it highly ironic that these same people are occassional smokers even though smoking can cause lung cancer. We all do things that can kill us. Not dating someone simply because of a STD is borderline discrimination.
 tenkay
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 131
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/5/2006 11:15:21 AM
I nutted in a chick wit hiv. ain't got tested yet either, been like 10 months. had sex lotsa times since, don't really matter in the end..
wtf maybe for you dude, but what about everyone else................. sex is good granted but you have'nt been tested don't you want to know.......the end will come alot quicker if you don't help yourself.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 132
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/5/2006 7:14:51 PM

Not dating someone simply because of a STD is borderline discrimination.


Huh?? I don't date alcoholics; my choice. I don't date drug users; again, my choice. I don't date men with bipolar disorder; still my choice.
I make those choices because those things cause me pain and misery. But I don't have the right to refuse to contract an incurable STD that will cause me an an equal amount of pain and misery for as long as I live?

Perhaps I should be reported to the ACLU.
 tenkay
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 133
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 5:18:57 PM
good for you.............. I have bi-polar. and I have a house, new truck, I droped out of school and paid $3000 at age 21..................... just because I wanted to have my greade 12. I got my class one. to drive truck. I've been this way my whole life. and do you know where I'm at with it.................................................. god made me bi-polar because he know's I'd be bored being normal, dude the trip's I go on are unreal cool and there ****in free plusI keep my life together fairly well too................. sorry but that's how I feel on that one.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 134
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:33:40 PM

dude the trip's I go on are unreal cool and there ****in free plusI keep my life together fairly well too


Good for you. A little off-topic, but I'm glad you're happy with your life. I had a boyfriend for a while that was bipolar, and it made my life a little more chaotic than I prefer; therefore, I don't do that anymore.

Back on-topic: it's all about those preferences. We all discriminate to some degree, and we all have our comfort zones. Some of us are more comfortable not knowingly dating someone with a communicable disease.
 dreamer1984
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 135
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:55:28 PM
Nope I wouldn't, too risky.
 tenkay
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 136
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 7:57:51 PM
ya I was at the same point with you......... what about a border line personalty disorder person. or just bi-polar, true you pissed me with what you said, it's to pointed for std's? back on topic.......................but it's not right not telling someone you have a std. I think you should get it out of the way, (your problem) before you go on the date.
 SoloDad_4
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 137
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:24:43 PM
Not dating someone with an STD is not "borderline" discrimination, it is HIGHLY discriminatory. In fact, most people discriminate in their choice of potential mates. For instance, I refuse to date within my gender, or outside my species. Perhaps you are more "open minded" than me on this. If so, more power to you.

I feel sympathy for someone with an STD, and I wish them the best. I will, however, do my best not to contract an STD. If not dating someone, so infected, lessens my risk, then that is my course. Good Luck to you, sir.
 tenkay
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 138
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:32:32 PM
I'm with you 100% on that. and that sound's more like a manipulation card to me if that's your stand. you have to date me. I don't care if I have something or not. your not going to find a good relationship that way.
 ugot2begood
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 139
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:45:32 PM
I just have to say this...out of all you people who seems so sure you yourselves are so clean...how many of your sexual partners have you actually followed to the doctors office for tests and hear the results first hand? My point is, you shouldn't be sexual with anyone you don't want to make a longterm commitment with and if you are intending to love someone you have to accept them for who they are any any crap they may have picked up along the way. Considering how many people are infected, knowingly or not, how could you hold it against them......it could just as easily happen to you later on down the line. Then what? You look at yourself and say, "Damn, if only I had known then what I know now, I would've kept so and so because they were almost perfect!" Of course, I'm not telling you to go out and find someone with aids but for God's sakes stop being so judgemental. Love is love, in sickness and in health. Not dating someone just because they've fallen victim to a growing epidemic is like blowing someone off because they are accident prone. Just a thought. And yes I would if it were not a life threatening disease, with caution of course.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 140
view profile
History
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:24:06 PM

Love is love, in sickness and in health.


Who said anything about love? If I'm considering whether to date someone or not, I'm nowhere near the point of loving them.


Not dating someone just because they've fallen victim to a growing epidemic is like blowing someone off because they are accident prone.


Answer this, then: how many heroin addicts have you dated? Or, do you discriminate against those men on the basis of their disease? How many women have you dated? Or, do you discriminate on the basis of gender? How many ugly men have you dated?
If you're all for equal-opportunity dating, then shouldn't your next boyfriend be a man with Hepatitis C?

We all discriminate when dating, many of us for far more shallow reasons than health concerns.
 SoloDad_4
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 141
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:48:08 PM
I agree! I'm sure there are a lot of men that have refused to date a woman they liked just because she was a blood relation.
 edrattler
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 142
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 10:52:19 PM
MOST ON THIS SITE SHOULD BE SMART ANOUGH TO BE RESPONCABLE ENOUGH TO PROTECT THEMSELVES AN TAKE PRECAUTIONS MOST, OF US ARE ADULT'S BUT AT LEAST GET TO KNOW SOMEBODY BEFORE YOU JUMP SHIP AN SHAG THEM WITHOUT PROTECTION HAVE SOME FUN BUT BE RESPONCABLE USE YOUR HEED TOUCHWOOD THAT'S ONE PROBLEM I HAVE NO HAD TO DEAL WITH.IT'S JUST APITTY SO MANY UNDER 21'S COULND NOT SAY THE SAME ?WE HAD THE AIDS ADVERT'S TO FREAK US OUT ONE SHAG AN YOUR LIFE WAS OVER SO BE SENCIBLE USE PROTECTION
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 143
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 11:04:26 PM
half the time you may not even know your partner has/had an STD , thats why it's better to be safe in the first place if you're having casual sex. If you're in a relationship you should both be tested etc.

using the term discrimination seems kinda off.
it's called better judgement. I wouldn't deny someone with an STD a job , or my friendship.

I don't blame anyone who has an STD, it's not like they went out seeking to get infected or anything but I'm just not willing to put my own health on the line like that.
Have I had a risky encounter or two? sure , but you learn from that and realize that the fear of catching something isn't worth the experience at all.

Everyone should be checked for STD's at regular intervals, it gives such peace of mind to know that you are healthy that way. Also not all STD's are treated equally , many have had and been treated and cured of STDS, there are of course STD's that have no cure.
 tenkay
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 144
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/6/2006 11:53:19 PM
lol yes I'm with you on the testing.............. but it hurt's to pee after, holy god. at least I know I've got nothing. I still don't know where I stand on this topic. man if I liked someone and asked them out and found out right then and there they had it, then maybe I would. I've had myself under a micro scope thinking about what I would do, and I'm not sure........ I had a friend with hurpes and it was weird at first. but now I look at it like a cold sore. I'd date a girl who had cold sore's. so where's the line??? for me I don't know for sure.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 145
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 12:49:28 AM
I have a very odd way of looking at STDs so I can't say I wouldn't.

If the question is "would you sleep with a guy who got herpes from sleeping around and risk catching them" the answer is deffinately no.

I do not like people who give me a nasty feeling and some people just do....even if they are clean and I have no way of knowing if they have an std, some things are just nasty to me, but I am not deathly afraid of disease like some people may think.

I have a very strange way of looking at certain stds that are reported to be incurable. I know that some can be sequestered indeffinately. I also consider myself a spiritual person and have seen many strange things in my life that I probably shouldn't go into because the answers are not always clear and I think in this particular point in time there are MANY issues concerning certain stds that are very unclear and it's quite an interest of mine and although I have never been diagnosed or had symptoms of an std I feel very connected to this issue for some reason.....I suppose because I have done some study of certain stds and there is a lot people don't know about testing and about strains that might suprise a lot of people if the proof was out there.

Do I want to become sick?....no.
Would I put myself at risk for some shmuck.....Not knowingly, no and not purposefully as though I was giving in and settling on it....altering my life.
Do I believe that some situations can happen that might be difficult to explain in words that might find me with someone who has an stds......if I believe it is meant to be, yes.

I can be a very selfish, very self centered person to a lot of people but some things in this world go beyond what people think they know about others and about life.
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 146
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:07:47 AM
^^^Have you hit the munchy cravings yet?
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 147
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:18:03 AM
Who are you talking to?
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 148
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:38:39 AM
If people want to know something they should just ask.

Here are some things that are easily researched online.

There are many different strains of HIV....like hundreds.
Standards HIV test that you get in a clinic, a doctors office or an in home test will test for only one strain.
You can have a test done on your actual cells for the presence of any HIV strain but it costs a lot of money and it is not recommended. If you go contact a place such as the CDC they will specifically recommend you to NOT have this test done because it causes alarm in people who have what they consider "lesser strains" of HIV. HIV2 is considered a lesser strain and is extremely common in Africa. They know that drugs cause HIV to become more virilent and natural attempt at immunity causes strains to become weaker.
They also know that there are people who have been exposed to HIV and for some reason those individuals have been able to fight it out of their system.
They know that some people sequester HIV in their system for a long time even though they may have infected a partner that has died within a few months of the initial infection.
Herpes is also often sequestered into a person system and after years of outbreaks, they may stop having them and never have an outbreak again. I believe this happens less often in promiscuous people. I believe people sequester certain viruses better after settling into a relationship or certain stable sexual habits.

Having said this.....you can't always just walk into a clinic, get some tests done and feel free to do what you please. They only test for certain stds. Does anyone know how many stds exist? I don't think anyone does because there are THAT MANY.

My point is that you can't always rely on these things to be your guiding light. There is more to life then tests and status. You have to have some instinct about what you are doing along with the manmade precautions attempting to help mankind. There are tests for some things that may put a mind at ease or cause great alarm but not everything is so black and white.

Sometimes there is a bigger picture and the bigger picture is often more important.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 149
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:48:50 AM
update.....they do have available tests for HIV2

This has all happened in the last few years and when I first read about it....HIV2 was unheard of in the US and Europe, but now there are reported cases, but only a few.

This will change soon.

Years ago they only tested for HIV1.

I don't know what the clinics are doing now.

Might be worth looking into.......like I said, this is rather new.....and those aren't the only two strains.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 150
would you ever date someone who has an std?
Posted: 5/7/2006 1:54:10 AM
Just a few years back I was reading they found what they are calling HIV2 but didn't seem alarmed because they thought it wasn't anything close to the ultimately fatal HIV1.

Seems as though they have retracted that and are now treating it as a fatal viral infection and are putting HIV2 tests on the market.

hmmmm.....

Viruses mutate.....you can't put this thing in a neat little box.

You could shun someone for having it and find out that you have a strain yourself only you didn't know because you didn't pay the money to do extensive tests......and who does?.....If we all chose to we would probably find alot of astonishing things out and there would be panic everywhere because there is all kinds of shit going on in our bodies.

There is more to life then what a test tells you.

There IS a bigger picture.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > would you ever date someone who has an std?