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 lunatic13
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 51
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Top 10 danger signsPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You hit the nail on the head with both lists Tom--and I'm talking about an 18-year marriage. Of course, if I had paid attention to the voice inside my head--I knew what was happening, I just didn't want to admit it. We don't necessarily get wiser with age, but we do get experience.

C
 fishbill
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 52
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:01:59 PM

I personally prefer a nice night in, cuddling up on the sofa with some movies and some takeout, sex has nothing to do with it. I just ain't a normal outdoor person, all there is to do outside is clubs and pubs and those in my opinion are boring and way too loud to be enjoyable.


Outdoors doesnt have to be camping, fishing, pubs, and clubs. 99% of people will quickly tire of staying home every night....THINK OF FUN THINGS TO DO, or you will be looking for a new GF I feel.

And like the OP, if your BF or GF stops thinking of fun things, or rejects your ideas for possible dates, dum dum, dum dum..
 orchid38
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 53
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:18:25 PM
Good points. No arguments from me on what you have written.

Relationships do take time and this is something I wish more men (from a woman's viewpoint) understood. All the men I have talked to or went out with have dumped me (not even had a second date ) because I was not willing to have sex the first meeting. Guess I wasn't worth their time, and that's ok. It's their loss, not mine

Good luck to everyone and God Bless you in your search.
 ArcAngel75
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 54
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:02:10 PM
Dont beleive a word he says trust me that way u dont have your heart broken
 honestisi
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 55
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 7/30/2007 8:07:18 AM
Stay away!! you don't need that kind of hurt!! Move on.............
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 56
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 8/27/2007 10:41:03 AM
Hi,
What I haven't heard is 10 reasons to dump them.
1. You have your first date conversation is going great their friend joins you and all
sudden your date starts talking about sex with you and your panties.
2. They dance with 2 women both are over 300lbs and come back and ask you if your
jealous.
3. They meet you for the first time and tell you your very sexual. You have on jeans
and a T Shirt.
4. God gave them signs and they have never meant you.
5. They offer you surgery for a quickie.
6. They tell you they want to make their X girlfriend jealous and would you help?
7. Their picture is 10yrs old and they don't understand way your confused about what
they look like.
8. They ask you if you would like to go to a swinger party.
9. You meet them several times and finally go to their home and notice the bath room
looks like a woman decorated it oh and there is makeup everywhere.
Least of all my Male friends wanted to put their 2 cents in so here are some of theirs
10. They tell you they believe in free love.
11. They want to go to a strip bar because they are bi-sexual
12. They go to the bar and sneak a few shots whenever they think your not looking
13. They bring their own bottle
14. They tell you the parts of their bodies that are pireced.
12. They send pictures of them
13. They haven't brushed their teeth in a month
14. The bring presents on the first date
15. They want presents on the first date
My all time favorite after dating this gentleman several times he asked me out to a very nice eatery but since I had already eaten I declined and had a drink it was very busy conversation was flowing and he left to pay the bill made it halfway home and said they couldn't find the ticket so I didn't pay them. I made amends the next day with my credit card and told him so. He tried to redeem his self by saying he would pay me back half of the ticket. I said half but I didn't eat I had a five dollar drink.......
This is what I have learned about the new world of dating. I take my time. I date different people until I find the right one. Some people are just meant as friends some I wouldn't walk across the street for. The one I am looking for is a keeper. I don't lie about dating different people if they can't handle that then I say goodbye or suggest being friends. I have no expectations of anyone until I know them well enough to have one. Never introduce them to my family until I am sure they are quality. Have many social settings to see how they behave. I am not a player. I am looking for the right one. But I am taking my time to find one. Smiles Sherrie
 tin_cup_chalice
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 57
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/3/2007 5:32:48 PM
Haha! These are great and I agree, sooo true. Thought I'd add one.
Danger sign that you are going to be dumped :
( Haven't seen each other in 3 months and you've been doing is talking)
" I love you, make love to me, right here, right now" and he says: " We're talking, we haven't talked in a long time, why ruin it?" O.0
3 weeks later and 2 weeks before wedding and he says its over.

~Kim
 il_girl_4_u
Joined: 3/28/2005
Msg: 58
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/10/2007 11:26:04 AM
Tom, soooooooooooooooo true, what your saying. The walkin ahead of ya, is a major turn off. Thanks for that, didn't see that comin. Guess I was blinded by the wall that was in front of me. Readin these forums lately, has really opened me up on things, I wouldn't even think of, what people are really up to. What happen to simple respect and old family values? Did we all just fall off the face of the earth?
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 59
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/10/2007 3:43:58 PM
You've been on several dates but all they give you is their cell #...and you've never seen their place.

They are never available on holidays.

They have a white band around their wedding finger.

They hint about needing money.

They ask for money.

They aren't friends with ANY of their exes.

They get jealous or controlling.

They are nasty to servers.

They want sex before dating exclusively.

Just some of my personal ones.
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 60
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 4:51:47 AM
reads the thread and ponders......

Are we really such gluttons for punishment? YIKES!!! lol
 Jennie4321
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 61
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:27:07 AM
OP I got my morning chuckle....one thing though..ever want to truly find out a lot about a person...go to dinner with them..you'll be amazed at how much info you get behind the lines...example:
1.. you can see if they complain and whine about everything
2.. you can see if they're a snob or they treat the serving staff with respect
3.. you can see how well they're table manners are, which is generally a great indication of how their manners are in other areas of life
4..You can see in the course of the dinner the type of food they eat and if they are health conscious
5..You can test their rudeness factor just by observing how many times they've used their cell phone while with you...usually it should be turned off, unless one has kids and if they're taking calls from anyone else other than one of their children who better be having a good reason to call, then thats a true indication of what number on the list they will place you...example, if they're taking calls from friends, while your sitting there and listening to this
6. You can observe they're eye contact and get so much on that alone
7 You can see if they are a "its all about me" type of person and if this is a first date and they are not trying to find out anything about your interstests , my inclination would be to make it a first and last date
8 You can see if they walk you to your car or leave you just outside the restaurant to make your way back...walking a woman to her car is just a respectful thing to do and if it hasn't even crossed their mind, you can bet that they're not going to be opening any doors for you either
 TampagirlFromNY
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 62
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:37:07 AM
tom will yuo read my post and give me your mans opinion??????? Titled He could not give me a reason. Thanks
Suz
 howbigisyourlove
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 63
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 10:23:04 AM
In regards to the issue of not being able to make eye contact ,,,this has nothing to do with any insidious behaviour ,, but being uncomfortable does,,, non direct eye contact is not used by world experts on interrogation because it is not a sign... a psychopath usually responds to direct eye contact ... and nanana also hit onto one of the signs and that is one worded answers,,, liars will also touch their faces and are very anxious and relieved to have a topic change subject ,, when they are in the hot seat,,, the more we know the less we lay in the haystack to get needled,,, yup none of this is my own adage it is from independant research by myself to myself so that I can get an honest date with a good egg... hmmm eggsample of a layer ,, lying,
 loyal T
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 64
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 10:30:58 AM
These two are all that are needed in my view of the top 10 getting dumped indications:
"9 finding yourself alone more & more
10 You have a feeling of loneliness and you hurt worse with them than alone."
Why fool yourself and look for other signs to validate this if you see these happening?
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 65
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 10:40:56 AM
minibikegi Man did you ever hit a good one! That is exactly what happened to me with the girl i was engaged to after my divorce. Her mom was a user, loser that didnt want her mealticket to ever get married. Now the girl has learned about her mom after it happened several more times. The girl left and is now living in ashville with a guy that has no intentions of marring her or anyone else.
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 66
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/11/2007 10:43:46 AM
DAYAM! Dr. Pill was right on about the "walks ahead of you" as a signal for imminent dumpage. A few months ago a Fellowette POFer did that on our first and last date.

Also, was it a sign she didn't want another date if, when she opened the car door, she did a record-setting 100m sprint to the parking garage? Hmmm....
 hgfhefjk
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 67
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:22:12 PM
Hi tom ,
Good forum
I avidly agree with a lot of the danger signs and found many very amusing!! Fun discussion ! However................. thr are afew issues !!
!) I,like you tom do not like the guy who believes that all girls are double chatting. Or guys either for that matter! The one and only time I found myself in that position I felt very frazeled and guillty as I am a one man woman!!!
2) Just because a person is slow on the upbeat with answers does not necessarily mean they are double chatting .I for one am a very slow typist becaue I am new to the typing and chat and have long nails which keep getting hooked on the keys .Also sometimes I like to think through my reply! Fast does not always mean good -LOL
3) I take extreme unction (Love that phrase) to the person who trashed the use of ani-depressants .I wrk in an hospital and have wrked in pharmacies and I assure you at least 3 out of every 5 canadians take some form of anti-depressant and or ant-anxiety . Do some research please !!!!You will find out that very respectable high profile nice people take meds every day. (3 out of 5 canadians take an anti-depressant and or anti-anxiety) . Do not label and stigmatize especially in a area you are obviously ignorant in! And please note: not to be rude the definition of ignorance is lack of knowledge!
 hgfhefjk
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 68
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:25:27 PM
hey apolinary -good job
also tom I would like to know why you call yourself tombstone tom
 jstlaurie
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 69
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:49:07 PM
I agree 100% with you Coca2! My ex was playing himself to be all that and then some.
When he was comfortable with me, he kept getting fired, borrowing money from my FATHER and now owes me ALOT of money. You always have to protect your interests and don't be a fool like I was. (never again)
 match90003
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 70
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/12/2007 5:26:55 PM
Dear Arealangle, what happen to #8?
 Riick
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 71
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/12/2007 5:35:06 PM
60% take anti-depressants or tranks - beautifull soul- Just where did you get that figger?
Sure you're not counting the percentage of people coming into your pharmacy that take these drugs???
If U R right, I'm going to have to buy some pharmacutical stocks, and quick.

On topic: Yup, the walking ahead of you IS a giveaway.
Lots of the other signs here are a good heads-up. Thanks!
 Spiritualiving
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 72
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:40:29 PM
These signs are GREAT, Tom! Body language is so important. I like that one about "...walking in front of you...". Some signs, in my opinion, I don't beleive indicates incincerity (in one case, actually indicates honesty) or that they'll dump you. Here's why:

2) I "hunt & peck" on the keyboard, so IM responses take me forever. If I'm labled as being dishonest, I'll set my preferences to disable IM-Thanks for that tip!

7) With this one, I feel the opposite is true. Lots of times, guys get used if a woman wants sex before being "friends first". Sex soon is a Danger Sign! Women can manipulate and use several guys at once (let alone giving you STDs!). The sooner they give it up, the more incincere they are. These women know that your type of guy can be used through sex easily so they can later use your types like doormats!! I actually knew women like this & I got rid of 'em too because they were dishonest to even their GFs! They told me a secret about how to use men. The sooner you have sex with (not just one) men, the easier they are to use for $$$, babysitter, going out, travel, job promotions, etc. So actually, the "friends" label indicates honesty; unless she's flirting with other guys in front of you. Men, consider the "friends first" label a sign that she WON'T use you & won't be used, either.

8) She just wants to know what you do for a living so she doesn't get ripped off. Guys out there are looking for Sugar Mamas too.

9) Some people are really shy and feel uncomfortable with constant eye contact. They may feel more insecure, especially if they really like you (ironically). If you get the vibe they're bored or thinking of something else, then yes, Danger Sign.

The "infidelity accusation" sign may be how you could have acted towards her:

4) It depends on the circumstances that she is accusing you of infidelity. Did you start to critisize, pay less attention or forget to call her? Did you talk with other women in her presence, ignoring her? Are other women flirting with you & you give them back eye contact? Has your sexual performance, style or frequency changed? Maybe you didn't see it, but these signs may prompt a woman to think you're cheating, even if you're not. Communication is needed then.

Tom, don't give it up (sex) too soon only to be used once again!
 AUTHENTICAN
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 73
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:43:40 AM
Gets defensive when you ask if there is someone at her new job she likes

Gets ****y when you try to confirm future plans, say a month or two down the road

Starts blaming you for everything in the relationship

Uncompromising

Telling you that you havent changed a bit since you've been together (since when are we suppose to change)

Telling you that you are controlling ( when your really just keeping her from seeing her new interest without knowing it )

When you ask them not to do something (that is reasonable) and they do anyways

insulting you in front of your friends

pointing the finger at you, you, you!!! Always about you, you, you! When really it is about them, them , them

Demanding time you dont have so as to use it as an excuse when she dumps you
Being available when your not and not being available when you are

She starts wearing make up and tight jeans to work, cause the "boss" is going to be there

Talks on the phone in the other room

Doesnt want to have sex or kiss you

mysterious new friend....."gf" but really a bf

accuses you of infidelity

Stops calling you on her lunch breaks from her new job

Talks about sex with anyone besides you and her gfs....big no no here

unidentified phone call, "she doesnt know who it is" some guy ....but then she finds out who it is when she answers it away from you......and feeds you some bs

complains, whines, or just is plain rude all the time

Says she thinks the two of you should take a break, or spend some time apart....which really means that shes seeing someone else.

You find lube in her purse, and she comes up with an excuse real quick as to why it was there and then says take it I dont need it.....when in reality shell just buy more!!

Blows the littlest things out of proportion so as to make a huge confontation

There are tons of signs.....just dont be afraid to question them, especially after you been with them for a while....this one I was with for over a year
 skylinegazer~
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 74
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:34:25 AM
Ha Ha, I agree totally with your observations! I particularly dislike the typing in the background. a no no in my books. Also, if you msn- then do just that- ONE window FULL attention- otherwise- get lost!
Sierra~
 BlueSkys,BrownEyes
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 75
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:18:40 AM
[I personally prefer a nice night in, cuddling up on the sofa with some movies and some takeout, sex has nothing to do with it.]
Personally, I have a big TV and Dish net work but that is not my favorite thing to do at home. I have made my home a nice place to spend quiet time getting to know someone. I have a pool table, music, board games , enough land to take a good mountain bike ride, and I like to cook while visiting with company or better yet, cooking together. Yes, I do have a hot tub under a big sky full of stars but I always tell women to bring a swimsuit that will stay on under high pressure water jets.

I also like to take women camping and I have a 3 room tent , cots and sleeping bags.
I am describing all this to give examples of things adults can do alone together without having sex. A visit to my home or camping does not mean we have to have sex. I live in the county and enjoy my privacy but I don't bring women here so that no one will hear their screams!

I don't frequent bars so why should I start a relationship in a bar? I have never fell in love in a crowd. I think dating can be a good way to see how someone lives and I don't live in a bar or a theater. A trip to a museum, musical , or theatrical event is always fun but we don't have to be on the go constantly do we?

Michael
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